Is it possible for a month old baby to be spoiled?

[deleted account] ( 45 moms have responded )

My son is a month old. He does not let me sleep...literally. He won't stay asleep unless I am holding him, which means I do not get much sleep. I am so tired. I am actually in the process of just letting him lay there and cry it out as I type this. Any suggestions on how to make him stay asleep through the night? Do not suggest rice in a bottle. I find that stupid.

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Tasha - posted on 07/17/2012

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for everyone who says it's impossible to spoil a 1 month old, that's not true at all. my daughter, who is about a month and a half is VERY spoiled. she constantly has to be held or she is crying. also, she has to be held a certain way and her butt has to be patted or else she's crying. nobody can say she's not spoiled, because there's no other explanation for this.
I've even talked to her doctor and Ella is not sick, there is nothing wrong with her, at all.

Johanne - posted on 10/03/2009

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he's only a month old and hasn't got ino a routine. try swaddling. if you are breast feeding he'll need feeding more often as b-milk easily digested. bottle fed babies sleep longer. it take a while before babies know the difference between night and day. get dad, friend or family member to watch baby while you rest. don't be too proud to ask for help. it does get easier i promise.

Mylene - posted on 10/07/2009

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My daughter is a month old also and sometimes will not go to sleep unless she is in my arms too. We did everything we could think of and even called our local help line just to be told we were already doing everything we were supposed to and that some babies just need that much attention. If your baby is breastfed, then, sorry, he won't sleep through the night for some time still (was told approx another month or so) since breastmilk is thinner than formula. But patience is key here and if you need 5 minutes to calm down, take it. Baby crying for 5 minutes won't hurt, but no more than that. You dont't mention anyone, but can your partner help by taking care of baby while you sleep for a few hours? Or a friend or your mom? I pump breastmilk and have a bottle ready for days when baby had a rough night. My husband or my mom can then take care of baby for a few hours so I can get some sleep.

Christina - posted on 07/19/2012

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No you cannot spoil your baby at a month old. Some books even say they cannot be spoiled up until after a year old. We have twins and our baby boy was unconsolable half the time-I know someone mentioned colic and that is what we thought as well but he ended up having acid reflux therefore had to be put on prevacid and he was a completely different baby. He had to be held all the time, close to me so I am not sure what it could be just throwing things out there for ya. I hope it gets better!

Meredith - posted on 09/29/2009

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If a baby is crying and wants to be held then they just need to be held. A wrap or sling will keep him close to you, where he needs to be, and keep your hands free. It's important to remember where our babies came from! They are used to being a part of us and need that closeness, some more than others. Co-sleeping is a great suggestion also, it will allow you both to get better sleep and keep you in bed for nursing.

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Ashlee - posted on 10/08/2009

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First off there is NO way a baby especially a 1 month old could be spoiled!!!!!
we co-slept with our son until basically 6 months (and by co-sleeping I mean he was almost always latched on) but since he developed a calm, happy pleasant sleep experience when he was really little he now sleeps through the night no probs- I think 6 months of having it pretty rough is nothing to him having a lifetime of good bedtimes. He is almost a year now and bedtimes are a breeze. We plan on doing the same with our next (due march 1st) Good luck

Nicole - posted on 10/06/2009

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#1 - It is not possible to spoil a child that age. He only wants to be near you. #2 - You probably won't like my response but I cosleep with my daughter and I have ever since the day she was born (at home with a midwife). She is now 9 1/2 months and I have only occasionally (maybe 3 times) gotten less than 8 hours of sleep. I love to sleep with her and now that she is mobile I have put up a bed rail. I would not let him sleep in the middle if you share a bed with his daddy, though. If you don't feel comfortable with that, they sell actual co sleepers that attatch to your bed, you might find that safer. Good luck!

[deleted account]

I just want to thank everyone for what you've suggested.

I have thought a lot about the whole "cry it out" system and I think that is just mean. There's no reason for it...at least not for newborn babies. I think that co-sleeping is the best way to go with newborns whether it's having your baby sleep with you in the same room or sleep in the same room. I've been co-sleeping (letting him sleep with me in bed) with my son for the past few nights and it has worked wonders. I am actually getting a good night sleep now.

Toni - posted on 10/03/2009

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i wouldnt suggest letting him cry it out.. hes too young... you cant spoil him this young... you responding to his cries builds his trust and bond with you. Im not entirely sure what to suggest besides rocking him, singing , maybe using a music box playing a soothing song everytime hes put to bed.. itll be a cue to sleep... maybe lay him down with a Tshirt of yours.. something that smells like you? I dont know... I hope it gets better for you... it may take awhile but he will sleep through the night and so will you.

Amy - posted on 10/03/2009

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every baby is different....i wondered the same thing but they need that comfort and security definitely for the first few months...knowing that you will be there when they need you...but i ahve to admit that swaddling has been a life saver for us with our daughter. we still swaddle her at night and shes almost 3 months

Sally - posted on 10/02/2009

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No, you can not spoil a 1 month old. A new born baby needs to be held and feel secure. At this young age, if you let them "cry it out" baby will not feel secure and that his needs are not being met. This makes for an unhappy baby. I know it is very difficult in the beginning, but hang in there! Try putting him in a swing or carry him in a sling or some type of carrier. Check out the "Sleepy Wrap" it is a nice wrap for little babies. Good luck.

Lani - posted on 10/01/2009

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my baby is the same, we have just started readin the book 'save our sleep' and even though we've only been following it for a few days, my daughter can already settle herself in the cot now.

best book ever, i will be getting it for any pregnant friends or fam as this book has saved me!!

Jenny - posted on 10/01/2009

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I don't believe a little baby up to 6 , 7 months can be spoiled. I have three kids, I have always held them and slept with them. I have been blessed to be a stay at home mom, so I'm totally dedicated to their needs. if your baby is always crying maybe something else is going on. A one month old baby eats every 1 to 2hrs.. good luck and enjoy your baby..

Celina - posted on 10/01/2009

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I believe it is impossible for a baby of one month to be spoiled. Crying is the only way he can communicate with you. If you let him cry it out he will learn to not trust and be fearful of the world around him. 0-1 Trust vs Mistrust. Erikson;s first stage of psychosocial development.

Deirdre - posted on 10/01/2009

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To answer the spoilt question, it isn't possible for any baby before 6 months be spoilt

Heather - posted on 10/01/2009

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When they suggest rice ceareal in the bottle, it is because it helps fill your child's stomach up more efficiently and helps them sleep longer. Being that your son is only one month old, I wouldn't suggest using rice just yet. Are you sure that his crying isn't related to colickyness? My son was extremely colicky for 4 1/2 months and all he did was cry!!! I walked the floor for hours with him, up all night. I even fell asleep once with him in my arms and woke up startled only to find him OK. I do not believe you can spoil a child that young. They need reassurance that you will take care of them and that what holding them does. When they cry and you pick them up, that gives them a secure feeling in knowing that you can comfort them. When they get older, they start to test you though!!! You could try co-sleeping also. I used to put my son in the boppy pillow on my bed to make overnight feedings easier at first. To help with his colic, I also put him on his stomach to sleep ever since he was two weeks old. Yes, it freaked me out at first, but sleeping on his stomach was the only way he would stay sleeping. I only swaddled him up tight and kept his arms free so he could move his head around. As bleak as it seems, some day you'll look back and be proud that you survived this time, I did. And I also had my son sleeping through the night by two months. Just spend one entire day not letting him sleep (as tiring as it is for you) and he will sleep at least 6 hours straight. Keep him on a steady schedule and before you know it 8+ hours!! Good luck with everything, it will get easier. And spoil that child with love, don't let him cry it out....it only upsets him more and keeps him awake longer.

Elizabeth - posted on 10/01/2009

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Try feeding him and letting him fall asleep in your arms. I hold my 3 month old daughter till she falls asleep then go and lay her down then I go to sleep. She is actually falling asleep on her own more now. At a month of age she was not going to sleep own her own at all. Your son will gain more weight and start falling asleep more by himself. Also try swaddling him, it could be that he's cold. Hope this helps.

Louise - posted on 10/01/2009

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i thnk u just have 2 go cold turky as long az he isnt hungry and has a dry nappy. put in bed and go in every few minutes and jst rub him on his tum (dont talk 2 him)4 about 30sec just so he know ur still there. each time make the time longer inbetween checking him. trust me it works it will take acouple of days bt wot ever u do dont pick him up. if u start it u have 2 stick with it to make it work. i hope ths helps xoxo

Jackie - posted on 10/01/2009

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My daughter had a hard time sleeping if I wasn't near her. I recommend wearing your baby out with lots of play and stimulation then putting him down in a room by himself. Let him cry for 5 minutes then go in and comfort him (don't pick him up). Just let him know you are there if he needs you. If he continues to cry let him go for 10 or 15 minutes before going to comfort him. He will eventually wear himself out and go to sleep. Listening to your baby cry can be pure torture. Just remember that as long as he is not in need of a feeding or a change, he is ok. It took some practice with my daughter but the rewards have been worth it!

Louise - posted on 10/01/2009

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Hey. I have a little boy who will be six weeks old on Saturday. At first he would only fall asleep on me and as soon as I tried to put him into his basket his eyes would pop open and he would start screaming! I found that swaddling him helped because he was all cosy and wrapped up. I also put a blanket under the sheet on his bed to make it a bit softer and another one under the head end to slightly raise it. He will grow out of it but just try different things. Everyone used to tell me that I was spoiling Joshua because of cuddling him to sleep etc but my Health Visitor said you can't spoil a newborn and I believe that. He just wants to feel close to you :) Good luck! x

Tegan - posted on 10/01/2009

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I also had the same problem with my son. I find that breast feeding mothers have it a bit harder when t comes to being able to sleep. i just had to stick it out with him... feeding him rice would be stupid... after his 6 week growth spert it should get better... now mine is 17 weeks and i get up once at night with him.

Stephanie - posted on 10/01/2009

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hi, the more we hold our babies the more they want to be held, and comforted, and they will cry until they are held, it can be very fustrating. i feed my son his bottle and put him down in the cot and walk out, i do not rock him to sleep or hold him, he has to get use to been by himself and that its night time, iv been doing that since he was born, yes he cried at first but then he got use to it now he goes to sleep him self in his own room, (since he was a month) hes 7 months old now and has slept trew the night since 6 weeks.

if u want a rest u have to learn to put your baby down and let him cry, once there feed, winded and changed there's nothing wrong with them, they want a cuddle/comfort

[deleted account]

Woops, posted too quickly...

Once he's calm, put him down and see if he will go off to sleep. Try jiggling him gently (not shaking obviously) laying down if he's not.

[deleted account]

I have found some of the 5 S's out of The Happiest Baby on the Block really useful. They stand for: swaddling, side laying (like you're cradling him, but him facing downwards), shooshing, swinging (or swaying or slight jiggling), and sucking (see if you can get him to take a pacifier).

For swaddling, look up the DUDU method. I use that double, because my son likes to escape out of his swaddle.

Shooshing can also be replaced by white noise, like putting the radio between stations. And I have a CD from a book called "Sounds for Silence" (but I'm not sure if it's an Australian book though, but there are probably similar ones out there) - it consists of different variations of strange "womb-like" sounds (swooshing and pumping and such). Put it up quite loudly, a fraction louder than baby is crying.

If he's agitated, rock him in the side laying or upside down position (I'll send you a picture if you like to explain, just let me know).

[deleted account]

I am pretty sure that my son does not have colic because he doesn't cry all the time. He only cries a lot when he's tired. I don't think he's gassy either. I mean, he doesn't seem gassy or whatever. He just really only cries when he's tired or if I've put him down.

I just want to say thanks to everyone for your advice and suggestions. Really, they have been helpful.

Ashley - posted on 09/30/2009

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Nope, a baby that young cannot be spoiled.

I personally do not believe in the cry it out method, especially for a baby so young.

My son has issues with going to sleep (I am trying to get him to go to bed earlier), and when I notice he is tired, I rock him in my glider and hum to him, then when he gets tired I place him in his crib with his pacifier. If he cries, I repeat the process. It will take some time, but it WILL get bettter!

I don't like the rice thing either; he is too young and it is a choking hazard.

Swaddling never worked for my son. As soon as he was home from the hospital, he broke out of them, even the ones with velcro.

Is he possibly gassy? My son had horrible gas and reflux, and he was a tummy sleeper I found out, so getting him to sleep took a long time. My husband and I would sleep on our couches and my son would sleep on my chest until I found out he was a tummy sleeper. Ugh. That was a trying time!

I hope something works out for you...I totally know how you feel!

Good luck mama!

Kierre - posted on 09/30/2009

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NO! "Happiest Baby in the Block" It has been a life saver, well maybe not that far but it has been a sanity saver!! I would not have had 4 children with out the advice and techniques taken from this book. If you can watch the DVD. The hospital actually piped the video to my room and it was amazing how fast our newborn responded, we bought a copy that day. My hubby spent many wonderful nights holding our sleeping son during the first few months of life. He did it so I could sleep and for the pure joy of it. (He does not work outside the home) .
Check it Out
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNzQ3NTExNT...
this is a site from Japan but it is the video complete on youtube

Dawn - posted on 09/30/2009

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Hi Samantha,



Rice in a bottle is not recommended by Doctors. Anyhow, no your baby can't be spoiled at one month. I read in several books that you should hold them as much as possible until they are 6 months old. It makes them a more secure person when they get older.



He is probably crying because he has colic. My baby had really bad gas and the only relief was to stand up and hold him so his legs were hanging down. The Dr. suggested I change my foods that I was eating and she gave me a list, she also put him on Mylicon and changed his formula to Similac sensitive for gas. He was like a new baby and started sleeping through the night.

Laura - posted on 09/30/2009

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No. I don't think that you can spoil a month old baby. That being said-I would try swaddling and not rocking him to sleep. I also like lavendar scented lotion(as long as there are no alergies) and baby massage. Try to establish a loose schedule during the day when you can put him down for a nap and let him fall asleep on his own. It's really just training him to be a self soother. He's a bit young but you can try. Make sure that you can get some rest when he is resting. I think that babies get a little cranky when they feel that you are uncomfortable and cranky yourself. I'm spoiled because my girls were fairly good sleepers. I think that if you can help them to develop good sleep habits and calm themselves every now and again it can lead to better coping skills later. GOod luck and hang in there-it does get easier!! Take care of yourself so that you can be the best mommy to him.

Sonia - posted on 09/29/2009

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do u have him swaddled?? I find that to be a big deal I always had my kids swaddled in a blanket and put them in a bassinet and or crib but put a padded blanket under the crib sheet so it is not hard.. I never had any problems with them sleeping. I hope this helps a little bit

Misty - posted on 09/29/2009

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my daughter is3 1/2 wks old and I only do her arms. She doesn't like her legs being tight

Iysha - posted on 09/29/2009

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Do you have a TV in your room? the reason I ask this is because my baby will sleep for a long time if I swaddle her (with an actual swaddle blanket, not a receiving blanket. Swaddle blankets are longer and the baby can actually stay swaddled)... and when she's almost asleep, I turn the static on from our tv and gently lay her down with a heavy blanket on her. Shushing sounds are supposed to be good for soothing, but I used to get tired of shushing forever. I found that having the washing mashine or dryer on helps too(our room is next to the laundary room).

Krissy - posted on 09/29/2009

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I have the same problem most of the time. My son seems to have a fav blanket and I swaddle him in it and make sure he is completely asleep then I slowly put him in his swing or I have found to lay him on his boppy and he will sleep alone. All most like he has to be surrounded by something. My husband says I have spoiled him as well. Hang in there I hear it will get better. Good Luck!

[deleted account]

Try co-sleeping, it's amazing how much sleep the two of you will get. Also, use a wrap or sling during the day. It will allow baby to be close to you and sleep while you do other things. A 4-wk old should not be left to cry it out.

Michelle - posted on 09/29/2009

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i was having the same problem with my now month old son until against better judgement i started giving him a dummy about a week ago. he will now settle in his crib with the dummy just to drift off then he spits it out but stays asleep until he is ready for his next feed. hope this helps, try not to worry about whatever you choose to do it will get better with time and patience.

Shelby - posted on 09/29/2009

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I would say try swaddling, it works wonders for my daughter. She is 2 months old and still likes to be swaddled sometimes.

Lisa/keith - posted on 09/29/2009

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My daughter is just about six weeks old and I still cannot put her down for more than 30 minutes during the day. If I do she wakes up crying. It is impossible to do anything without someone else here. I spend my days on the couch with her in my arms until my husband is home to help.I have been reading Your Baby's First Year Week By Week- this says you cannot spoil a baby for the first six months and to pick them up and hold them when they cry as this builds trust. Our night time ritual is 4 oz in abottle to fill her belly, then swaddle (our daughter is also a houdini-no matter how tight the swaddle she manages to get her hands out or a foot!) and rock or walk her to sleep. Once she's asleep we can lay her in her bed where she'll sleep for a good 5 hours before waking. Hope this helps- I recommend reading the book mentioned-very informative!

[deleted account]

I didn't think you could spoil a month old baby but he just insists on being held no matter what. I don't like the idea of letting a baby cry it out either. I think that's mean but I don't know what else to do. I know that babies wake up every two to four hours to be fed and that's fine by me. What I'm saying that my son does is wake up five minutes after I put him down. I do swaddle him. Either I'm doing a bad job of it or he has super strong legs and can kick out of it. I may take your suggestion of looking it up on YouTube.

Kylie - posted on 09/29/2009

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oh have your tried swaddling? this helps young babies to feel secure , like they are being cuddled to sleep and stops them waking themselves up. there's some good swaddling clips on youtube.

Kylie - posted on 09/29/2009

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Hes only a month old....hes still adjusting to this big cold world. Remember he was warm and comfortable growing side your for the past 9 months..all he knows is the comfort and security of you. Do not leave him to cry it out....it is dangerous and unfair. Do not give your baby rice cereal in a bottle it is a choking hazard and not intended for a newborn that is bad advice. If you are tired, lay down with him. You cannot MAKE a baby sleep through the night he will be needing to have a feed at least every four hours anyway. I have a 10 month old who does not sleep through the night, but don't worry, you get used to night time parenting. Just sleep when your baby sleeps and i really do recommend co-sleeping safely if you are tired. In answer to your question no you absolutely cannot spoil a 4 week old.

[deleted account]

I don't want to start feeding him rice because I don't want him to get fat off it. I've heard that babies can get fat off rice if you start them too early. Besides, he does get enough from just formula. I would know, I've over-fed him on accident on a few occasions. I do give him a bath at night. I think I'll start warming up his bottle at night. Hopefully, that works. Maybe I'll also try putting him to sleep in the bassinet instead of letting him fall asleep in my arms.

Danielle - posted on 09/29/2009

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does your son go to sleep in your arms or in his bed?

if he falls to sleep in your arms then you need to start putting him in his bed before he goes to sleep and then rock/pat him to sleep there.

my little girl was a horrible sleeper until the CHN told us to start doing that and even though she was upset to be going to sleep there to start with she started to get a decent sleep

Erica - posted on 09/29/2009

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I had the same problem with my son. He'd cry and I'd get him out of his crib and lay him on my chest and then lay him in the bed with me and his daddy.. But what I did was gave him a bath and then gave him an ounce of warm milk and rocked him and then when he closed his eyes I waited for about 30 minutes to an hour and layed him down and he slept for three hours and then I repeated it over,

Melissa - posted on 09/28/2009

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hi there i can understand what you are going through my lill girl was the same he will settle down once e gets a bit older

and i know you said no rice in a bottle but have you tried farex i give my daughter that cause she would not sleep and it settled her down alot now she sleeps all night long

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