Is it really that bad to sleep with your baby?

Amanda - posted on 10/09/2009

i dont think its bad at all my son sleeps in his crib at night and every morning at like 7 he gets up and comes to my bed for like two hours which is good because i get extra sleep and so does my son because he doesent nap and gets over tired and honistley even dead asleep i kbno that i have him in my arms and how could he not be safe with his mom plus i dont have a husbend or boyfriends so there is plenty of room in my bed

Naralie - posted on 10/09/2009

Well they say its bad because one you could fall asleep so profoundly that u could roll over and suffocate her! Two she will get to used to sleeping with you that when u do want her to sleep on her own bed she isn't going to want to and third if you are in a relationship its not good intimatly!

Louisé - posted on 10/09/2009

I think it's a personal choice, but we've been co-sleeping since day 1, my lo is 16mo's now and is still in our bed. I had her in a snuggle nest in the begining and then when she got older I took her out, both me and my hubby aren't very rough sleepers and we both are light sleepers. I must add co-sleeping works well for me b/c bottle and paci is close by, I don't need to get up, when I was b/feeding it was also much easier, I could nap while she was feeding. Just put some pillows next to the bed if she might fell off. Your're not doing anything wrong if you co-sleep, it's part of attachment parenting :)

Simone - posted on 10/08/2009

i think it is ok if u aren't someone hu tosses n turns or takes meds that make u drowsy. i dont think ppl should put bub in bed wit them because the parents r u lazy to get out of bed for their child.(im not directing that at anyone here, i just no of a few ppl like that) i had my son in bed with me since he was born.. the docs at hospital said to put him in bed wit me cos he screamed all night just wanting to be close to me where he could smell the breastmilk. i tried to stay up all night rockin him but i got to the point where i was almost fallin asleep n i was scared i wud drop him so i gave in n let him in my bed. they showed me how to set the bed up so nothin could get on bubs face n how to sleep on my side wit my leg out so there was less chance of me rolling over. it was great 4 bub, but i didnt sleep properly all night so i was exhausted. i was 2 scared of somethin happenin so i was only half asleep (if that makes sense) so i think the safety varies dependin on the person, n only do it if its wat bub NEEDS.

Summer - posted on 10/08/2009

Savannah falls asleep on me all the time !!! during late night feedings its not uncommn for us to both fall alseep... and when she was 2 months old she was having really bad sinus problems and the ONLY way she could sleep and breath was to sleep on my chest while i was propped up a bit... her doctor said it was fine. Now she naps on me ALL THE TIME and i cant get anything done because of it, but I agree they are small for such a short time, and I can break the habbit later once she understands it better. but she does sleep in her own bassinet next to my bd so she is within arms reash all night, and every morning around 6 am she gets fussy so I bring her in bed with me and wrap my maternty pillow a long the edge of the bed, and put her back up against it and we face each other and she feeds till we both doze off again, and I have to admit that is the BEST sleep i get all night/morning. And we will sleep like that for some times 4 hours. and during her after noon nap iots not uncommon for me to lay down with her to get her to fall alseep and I passout right a long with her.....



The major fear that is put there for adults sleeping with their babies is that we might roll over on them ans smother them while we sleep. but if you are like me you are a SUPER light sleeper, and I wake up for everything !!! a mouse could be tip toeing in the next room and Id wake up. I also wake up to roll over so I KNOW i wouldnt roll over on her... so I sont really worry about it....



hope that helps sorry it got so long...

Kelly - posted on 10/08/2009

As long as you are not a heavy sleeper, if you wake up every time you move then it shouldn't harm the baby but you have to be very careful not to smoother the baby. If you buy one of those baby bed things for your bed then that would be ok too. I've fell asleep with my baby quite a few times but I am a very very lite sleeper. i'm almost half awake and half sleep when I did have her in bed with me.

Lisa - posted on 10/08/2009

I work in childcare and have taking trianing regarding SIDS, etc. It can definantly be harmful sleeping with your baby in your bed, due to movement of you, the pillows, bedding and such. the reason being is that if something DOES happen to fall over baby's mouth, or baby's face gets pressed into the mattress, baby can't move it, and might not be able to cry ( or you might not wake up to the cries). However, in an effort to meet the desires of parents who would like the convience and closeness of letting baby sleep in their bed, many companies now make a kind of bassinet that attaches to your bed, allowing baby their own, safe sleeping space while allowing you to just reach over/roll over to feed and care for baby. They are called co-sleepers ( imagination at work, huh?). Yes, babies do die in cribs, mostly because parents put things in cribs that should not be there. Even a bumper pad on a crib is a choking/strangulation hazzard. Baby should be laid in the bed with their feet touching ( or nearly) the end of the crib, with a blanket snuggly stretched across the crib, tucked in on all 3 sides that touch the bed. the blanket should not reach higher on your baby than the "nipple line", and baby should be laying on his/her back. This is called the Back to Sleep program. also, any toys in the bed should be put at the foot of the bed, and be able to ATTACH to the bed. I breast fed my 1st, and am currently doing so with my 2nd. There are times when I have fallen asleep sitting up with my baby on the boppy pad while feeding ( he falls asleep too.) I try hard not to, but sometimes those things happen. I wish you luck, and I do advise to look into the bassinett that attaches to your bed. It's probably the best way to give you both what you want, while being safe about it.

Fallon - posted on 10/08/2009

I've slept with all of mine..four babies now..with my first one he just would not sleep on his own at all and I was so sleep deprived I was hallucinating..seriously..with my 2nd I didn't even try to put him in his own bed until he was about 6 months..and now wiht my twins since there's two of them I switch them back and forth..and now at 6 months they'r both back to sleeping independantly..My pediatrician even says it's fine..as long as bedding is safe etc...but I know the pedi I had with my oldest said it was ridiculous to have him in my bed all the time..One thing is for sure..if you get used to having baby in there with you you develope this mom radar thing..I know every move everyone makes all night long..including when my hubby rolls over...I don't think you should feel like it's BAD..I think it's just another one of those things every mom is opinionated about.

Michelle - posted on 10/08/2009

It's like anything else it has it's good and bad points. If you are really going to do it I would suggest a co- sleeper. Then your baby can sleep safely in bed with you. It can be dangerous because a baby can be smothered by you, blankets, or pillows. It can be done safely as well (I think it's probably safest with the co sleeper). I have a co sleeper that I used for a little while when my daughter was a few weeks old and wouldn't sleep in the bassinet or the crib. But both of my kids have been sleeping on their own since they were around 3 months old. I sleep better with them sleeping in their own bed (especially because my son is a crazy sleeper) and they're able to go to sleep on their own. The risk of injury or death is not any higher or lower for either way to sleep as long as you're doing them safely. Just be sure you're comfortable with what ever you decide.

Desiree - posted on 10/08/2009

I have 4 and 7 year old boys and they both slept in my bed until they where atleast 1and a half. they are both healthy and have no problems sleeping there own beds now.

Hannah - posted on 10/08/2009

No it is not bad!!! It is the BEST way for both of you too sleep! You are not going to roll over on her. The propaganda against sleeping with your babies is bullshit. Until recently babies have been sleeping with their mommies since the dawn of man, and there are almost 7 billion of us now. Seriously. If it feels right do it. Your bond with your baby will be better and you get to snuggle with your sweetie!

Brandy - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Iysha:

Another note on SIDS... yes, more babies die of SIDS in a crib than in their parents' bed. However, How many other non-SIDS related deaths happen in a crib? How many non-SIDS deaths/injuries happen in a parent's bed? You need to look at everything AND question the statistics. Challenge your own theories on what is right/wrong, better/worse, more safe/less safe.

Hope, you said you "know it's bad." What makes you think co-sleeping is bad? Challenge your idea about why it is bad and see if you can disprove yourself. If you can, then co-sleep..if you can't then don't. I think that is a fair enough stategy for you to make your own decision. That way it isn't just what people are saying is the better option, it is your own, self evaluated option.

Although I have done this myself and based on my research and the information I recieved from all kinds of studies, found that co-sleeping is safer and has less negative effects and less death than crib sleeping, I would like to say that the above was very well put and was a very good peice of advice for her. Good job!

Iysha - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Letitia:

 I think it is just a personal decision that has to be made but you should know all the pros and cons of it.

exactly.

Iysha - posted on 10/08/2009

Another note on SIDS... yes, more babies die of SIDS in a crib than in their parents' bed. However, How many other non-SIDS related deaths happen in a crib? How many non-SIDS deaths/injuries happen in a parent's bed? You need to look at everything AND question the statistics. Challenge your own theories on what is right/wrong, better/worse, more safe/less safe.



Hope, you said you "know it's bad." What makes you think co-sleeping is bad? Challenge your idea about why it is bad and see if you can disprove yourself. If you can, then co-sleep..if you can't then don't. I think that is a fair enough stategy for you to make your own decision. That way it isn't just what people are saying is the better option, it is your own, self evaluated option.

Kelsey - posted on 10/08/2009

i realy dont think it is a problem unless you are someone who tosses and turns all night while you are asleep. i fall asleep breastfeeding my daughter all the time and some nights if she is really moody i swaddle her up with one hand free lay her next to me in the bed and she holds my hand all night. its nice to sleep next to your little one sometimes i mean they just spent 9 months living inside your body and to feel more close it is nice to even take naps together in the middle of the day.

Letitia - posted on 10/08/2009

Our doctor and a lot of friends are totally against it. I have a friend whose husband is a coroner and she sees how many babies die from it firsthand. Even with that being said, Bryson sleeps with me every night. It is not only easier for me at night nursing him but I feel better with him right there by me and he seems to sleep longer/better. I think it is just a personal decision that has to be made but you should know all the pros and cons of it.

Brandy - posted on 10/08/2009

My brother-in-law is a family Dr. and he and his wife have had both kids in there bed since day 1. My husband and I were against it until we had our first son. Both of our primary love language is physical touch (Dr.Gary Chapman) and it makes since that that is our sons. He loves having contact with us. He spends half of his time being held and the other half being very independent. I also herd that crib mattresses have a part in SIDs. My son is also very smart for his age (I know,bragging). I attest this to catering to his every needs right now, needs not wants. You do what you think is right. They call mothers intuition for a reason. Good Luck

Iysha - posted on 10/08/2009

Hope, whatever you decide to do, just make sure you wiegh the pros and cons. Also keep in mind that experts conduct studies for a reason. It's amazing how many people ignore expert advice. I mean, I hear of moms giving their 3 week old bottles of water between feedings, eventhough it can lead to seizures, and not securing their babies in carseats because they cry. Just because something has been done for a long period of time doesn't necessarily make it right or safe or whatever. Like I said before, I don't agree with sleeping with my child because I feel that there are more things that can harm her that I have no control of. At least I know that I have made the proper precautions for her to sleep there and I know that I won't have any accidents happen that could have been prevented. It is your choice. We are not here to influence you or tell you what is right or wrong, just giving our opinions and hoping you can take our advice into consideration. Just take the proper precautions in whatever you decide to do and make sure you feel like YOU have done the right thing reguardless of what anyone else my think. No mother should do something simply because she wants to without first knowing what could happen and making sure she does everything she can to prevent anything bad happening to her child.

Amy - posted on 10/08/2009

I'm a firm believer in no co-sleeping. I realize it's hard but when you're baby gets older they will be more attached and less likely to want to sleep in their own bed. I'd think twice if I were you, you don't know what you could be setting yourself up for later on.

Brandy - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Kristi:

Quoting Iysha:

Yup, not an expert, I just work in the medical field, and have an aunt who is an ER doctor and sees children who have been injured because their parents sleep with their child. You're right, I'm not an expert, just well informed.

If you didn't sleep, than that's fine. Not against holding you child while they sleep. I'm talking about sleeping with your child.

You're not well informed at all.  Sorry.  Babies get hurt in cribs too.  And, SIDS is significantly lower in babies that bed share.  Yes, it does need to be done safely and properly, but if done so, it is not more dangerous than crib sleeping.  Co-sleeping has been done forever and there are numerous cultures in which it is the norm.  Expecting babies to sleep on their own is a very new idea, relatively speaking - only since the early 1900's in western culture.  Additionally, from a biological perspective, babies are designed to sleep with their moms.  They do not have good body regulation with breathing and temps until around 9 months- mom's breathing and body help regulate baby's body.  Further, if breastfeeding, hormones are released that make mom more alert.  To each their own as far as what works best for their families, but let's not perpetuate myths.

To: Iysha

I have no problem with people who are opinionated. Actually, I think it's nice for people to stand up for what they beleive in but I also think that those people should be educated in what they are standing up for and that if they are going to have a strong opinion they should know what they are talking about. The statistics say that there are fewer cases of SIDS or "crib death" when the parents choose to co-sleep. Why do you think it was nicknamed "crib death"? And as far as I've heard and from what I've read, sleeping seperately was something that  people came up with for convenience purposes only and had nothing to do with safety. If you are going to obsess over making a point, make sure your point is valid.

Erica - posted on 10/08/2009

glad some one backed me up!!! thanks kristi!! lol

Erica - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Kristi:

Quoting Iysha:

Yup, not an expert, I just work in the medical field, and have an aunt who is an ER doctor and sees children who have been injured because their parents sleep with their child. You're right, I'm not an expert, just well informed.

If you didn't sleep, than that's fine. Not against holding you child while they sleep. I'm talking about sleeping with your child.

You're not well informed at all.  Sorry.  Babies get hurt in cribs too.  And, SIDS is significantly lower in babies that bed share.  Yes, it does need to be done safely and properly, but if done so, it is not more dangerous than crib sleeping.  Co-sleeping has been done forever and there are numerous cultures in which it is the norm.  Expecting babies to sleep on their own is a very new idea, relatively speaking - only since the early 1900's in western culture.  Additionally, from a biological perspective, babies are designed to sleep with their moms.  They do not have good body regulation with breathing and temps until around 9 months- mom's breathing and body help regulate baby's body.  Further, if breastfeeding, hormones are released that make mom more alert.  To each their own as far as what works best for their families, but let's not perpetuate myths.

Kristi - posted on 10/08/2009

Quoting Iysha:

Yup, not an expert, I just work in the medical field, and have an aunt who is an ER doctor and sees children who have been injured because their parents sleep with their child. You're right, I'm not an expert, just well informed.

If you didn't sleep, than that's fine. Not against holding you child while they sleep. I'm talking about sleeping with your child.

You're not well informed at all.  Sorry.  Babies get hurt in cribs too.  And, SIDS is significantly lower in babies that bed share.  Yes, it does need to be done safely and properly, but if done so, it is not more dangerous than crib sleeping.  Co-sleeping has been done forever and there are numerous cultures in which it is the norm.  Expecting babies to sleep on their own is a very new idea, relatively speaking - only since the early 1900's in western culture.  Additionally, from a biological perspective, babies are designed to sleep with their moms.  They do not have good body regulation with breathing and temps until around 9 months- mom's breathing and body help regulate baby's body.  Further, if breastfeeding, hormones are released that make mom more alert.  To each their own as far as what works best for their families, but let's not perpetuate myths.

Erica - posted on 10/08/2009

Geez O wiz,let it go. I have family in the medical feild too,I have three kids and they are all alive and healthy..so I must be doing something right. Bye take care.

Iysha - posted on 10/08/2009

Yup, not an expert, I just work in the medical field, and have an aunt who is an ER doctor and sees children who have been injured because their parents sleep with their child. You're right, I'm not an expert, just well informed.



If you didn't sleep, than that's fine. Not against holding you child while they sleep. I'm talking about sleeping with your child.

Erica - posted on 10/08/2009

well,tylenol didnt work either. It was temporary. Your not an expert and neither am I. So lets just agree to disagree. Hope all goes well for you too. I love my baby very much and the few times she slept with me I didnt sleep,I just wanted her to rest.

Iysha - posted on 10/08/2009

So, having your baby in your bed because she is teething is okay, she will be safe because...she's teething? Umm...if motrin didn't help, try some baby Tylenol, Tissue salts, Oragel, Something is bound to work! I gave my daughter Infant Tylenol when she was starting to teethe right after her night feeding and she was out all night!



Anyway, I'm not here to argue, just give you all my opinion that yes, I do think having your baby with you while you sleep is not a good chioce and to give the reasons why I feel that way. Good luck with the whole sleeping with your baby thing.... hope it goes well for you.

Erica - posted on 10/08/2009

My daughter is safe. The only reason I let her sleep with me is because she was teething and the motrin didnt help,so I was soothing her. I would never let any harm come to her!

Iysha - posted on 10/08/2009

How do you propose you sleep with your bay safe? If you are sleeping with her in your arms, you don't think that you might move? If she is next to you on your bed, are you sure that no blankets, pillows, hair, clothing, body parts will keep her from breathing or hurt her in any way? If she sleeps on your chest, you don't think there is a possibility for her to roll off at all? I think that sleeping with your baby is an accident waiting to happen. You have no control over what you are doing while you sleep.Having a Co-sleeper is different, at least the baby is in it's own little space and can't be hurt ( except for the 2 babies that have died in a particular co-sleeper that is now being recalled). Besides, having her in your bed might, and most likely will, form a habbit that is hard to break.



I decided on having my 3 month old baby sleep in her bassinet, well now her crib, since I have evaluated our options fully and have found that it is the safest place for her to sleep. I also like the fact that because she is not right there with me, I have mastered her cues on when she is hungry, just making noise in her sleep, or awake but not hungry and will just fall bck to sleep, and even when her diaper has gotten too moist and needs a changing. Not having her in my bed with me has been a great advantage and most importantly she is safe.

Erica - posted on 10/08/2009

I do it least twice a week with my 6 month old I only do it when I cant get her to go back to sleep. I wouldnt worry about it.

Georgina - posted on 10/08/2009

Hi i think co sleeping is a choice, i did both when my son was a newborn i had him in the bed with us in this little bed called the snuggle nest then when he was about 8 weeks i started putting him in his bassinett right next to my bed..but at about 5am when he wakes up to eat i bring him in bed with me feed him then we fall asleep...he is 6 months old now and we are just now puttig him in the crib...but... we brought the crib in our room..lol..im not ready for him to be in his own room yet...i really love having in bed with me but im trying to make him realize that he does have his own bed to..But i know plenty of people who co sleep full time and the love it and there babys are great..its just really hard to get them to sleep on there own thats all...Good luck :))))

Lucy - posted on 10/08/2009

If done safely cosleeping is wonderful

Trang - posted on 10/07/2009

at first i used to put my son in his crib but i found that when he sleeps next to me on my bed he sleeps better and he doesnt fuss a lot. the doctors always told me to put him in the crib to prevent sids but i read an article that said its fine to sleep with your baby. people from other parts of the world do it and before they even knew about sids parents were sleeping with their baby so i dont see a problem

Brandy - posted on 10/07/2009

Not at all! There are actually alot of studies being done about co-sleeping and they are all having positive feedback. Babies who co-sleep until they are ready to sleep on their own are typically more independent, cry less, have less behavioural issues as toddlers, and are more confidant. Plus, you and baby both get a better sleep. And everybody tries to tell you that it is dangerous for your baby but statistics show that the amount of cases of SIDS is drastically reduced in babies who co-sleep with their parents. Statistics don't lie. I am all for co-sleeping. I co-slept with my first until she was six months and still do on occasion even though she is 17 months now and doesn't usually need to unless she is sick or teething and am definately going to do it with my second if he wants to.

Jocelyn - posted on 10/07/2009

No it's not bad to sleep with your baby :) I co slept with my son while he was ebf (and occasionally still do, he's almost 3). Not once have I ever rolled onto him lol. he did roll off the bed one night, but it was no worse than when he rolled off the couch, or fell into the wall while learning to walk lol. I still find that I sleep the best when he is in bed with me :)
Oh and sleeping with your baby while she is really young is suppose to help prevent sids, something about the baby not going into the really deep stages of sleep for too long...
You can get special pillows and things to place on your bed to create an edge if you are worried about her rolling off the bed.
The only bad thing (I found) about it is trying to get them to sleep on their own later :P

Sarah - posted on 10/07/2009

I think it depends on your family and what you and your husband want. I think the main thing is knowing how to do it safely and making sure baby is safe at all times (just as you do when you lay them in their own bed). The one thing you do need to think about is what habit will you be starting and is this a battle you want to fight later. My husband and I are not big on allowing kids to sleep in our bed. We have a waterbed so when they were newborns I was unable to do it anyway, though there were times I wish we had a different bed so I could get some sleep (daughter nursed every hr for awhile). I have many friends that did have their kids in bed with them and would often talk about how hard it is trying to get them to sleep in their own bed. My kids never had a problem with that. They would sleep through the night just fine from a very young age. My daughter does get scared when there are bad storms, but I always go and lay in bed with her and enjoy that snuggle time I have in her bed.

Breanna - posted on 10/07/2009

I've slept with my daughter since the beginning and shes now 4 months old.. she gets one half of the bed and i get the other. I put a bed railing on her half just to be safe. I'm a light sleeper and i never move or roll in bed without knowing it. This might not work for everyone but it seems to work best for us :)

Jerrica - posted on 10/07/2009

My son slept in the same bed with me from the time he came home from the hospital til he was about a year and a half. I loved having him that close, I always knew he was safe and I could look at him while he was sleeping anytime I wanted. I feel that its a safe practice if your being safe about it. Make sure she cant roll off the bed, if your a person who tosses and turns at night, you need to make sure you set up a barrier between you two so you dont roll onto her. Things like that. The only negative thing I have found from my experiece is that now I want him to sleep in his own bed, and he is so used to being with me that its a battle for us each night. But that would be a battle you would have to face when you were ready for Alyssa to sleep in her own bed again.

Mylene - posted on 10/07/2009

I know what you mean! I breastfeed Alizée, and I sometimes fall asleep with her on me. We both sleep very well, her because she is close to mum and is cozy from the body heat, me, who knows why (because it comforts me to know I am there for her as soon as she wakes?) I have heard that it is bad for baby's back and will spoil them, but they grow up so fast and I love having her close. I try to put her in her bed as often as I can, but for convenience and fatigue of late nights, she sometimes sleeps on me and I am happy with that. So don't fret. It will happen now and again, but as long as it is not all the time, it should be ok.