my daughter is going through stranger anxiety when does this usually pass?

Natasha - posted on 07/12/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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my little one who is almost 6 months has a tough time with being around different people. as soon as someone wants to hold her she will start crying and looking for me. i totally understand and i feel bad for her but others seem to be mad. my boyfriends mother gets upset because kaylee never wants to be held my her she screams and cries.



people say things like your spoiling her although i dont think you can spoil a child this young. have any of you gone through this with your child and other people and if so how did you deal? i should also mention that i breastfeed which im sure may also have something to do with it because she is so close to me.

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Candice - posted on 07/13/2009

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if you, as an adult, had someone come up to you and try to pick you up or touch you, how would you feel? i don't get why people feel the need to pick up kids. my daughter is the same way (although her anxiety started later) but if someone plays with her for a bit without touching her, then later tries to touch her or pick her up, she's FINE. tell people "she just needs to warm up to you a bit". i am very protective of my daughter when people do that. if they are hurt, i tell them they just have to play with her on her terms until she trusts them enough. don't worry about their feelings. they are adults, they can get over it.

Julia - posted on 07/13/2009

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My second child was exactly the same as your wee one....would not go to anyone else except me or maybe her Dad if she was in the mood! She was like this until she was about 1 1/2 - almost 2 years of age when she started to 'come out of her shell' and explore having fun with other people!! ahhhhhhh a big relief for me! Her older brother was the complete opposite and I could palm him off to anyone and he'd be quite happy! I breastfed both of them and I don't think that has anything to do with the clingyness....I think it's just their personality and temrament...she'll out grow it and her confidence in other people will grow ...in her own time! Just enjoy the fact that she needs you and that you are very special to her!

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I don't think it's a major problem. Think of it this way, would you like it if a complete stranger rushed up, picked you up and held you about 5 inches from their face? I'd be a bit freaked out too.
I guess it depends on the circumstances. Are these people your bub sees everyday? or are they visitors she has never met and who ask to hold her the second they walk in the door? It may be that bub just needs a little time to get confident with them, perhaps give it half an hour of them talking to you both before they have a hold.
Breastfeeding doesn't "spoil' your baby, I know plenty of confident, outgoing breastfed bubs. She WILL have a great and close bond with you, but how can that be a bad thing?

Analise - posted on 07/12/2009

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hi natasha, i have the same problem, my 22 month old son is exactly the same, my dad lives next door but we dont really bother much with him, jus if we see em in the garden or if we go in there..he dont like my dad, my dad will pick him up n he'll scream, tearing bolting down his face until hes in my arms. i think because i live with my nan and its me, my husband, my nan, my grandad & my bro, we r the closest people he knows, anyone family outside the house, if he dnt see them for bout 3 weeks, he wont go near them, its awful in a way but its good in another way as some kids will go to anyone n thas dangerous to me, my son does take a while to get used to people, it was my dads birthday so we took aj in there n he didnt like my dad up until bout 10 mins b4 we left, my son started givin my dad toys, but the trouble is next time we see my dad he'll be stuck to me like glue. my nan do say children can sense what type of person you are and i believe that. and u also might be spoiling her hun as little as she is..my son is now 22 months & he is spoilt because theres so many adults in the house, like when we decide to have our next baby, i'll make sure he/she is not spoilt because its so much hard work as they get older, the tantrums..the headbuttin the floor..etc my son can be good as gold but wen he has a tantrum he is hard work hun so while shes still young try not to spoil her, make sure u make it clear to her that no is no! because my son gets his own way most the time because i can stand his temper. and yeah as ur breastfeeding ur daughter she will be most close to you, why dont u try expressin milk so ur partner can feed her one time, i breastfed my son..only for 2 weeks as my boobs were in agony..i kept expressin milk n the more i was expressin the more milk i was avin cumin in n i didnt know that at the time..in the end my nan at to tie a sheet around me tight to get rid of the milk n it took a good 2 weeks to go so if u gonna try that hun make sure u dnt express too much like me ..lol and the funny thing is my son is great around new kids just not adults xx

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