my lil guys weight need to vent

Jessica - posted on 06/03/2010

ok so 1st of all he is so not over weight, do not listen to what she has to say. U need an outlet of ur own. U need a really good frien dwhom u can trust with ur son and trust that u can vent to. I have had to raise my 2 oldest children alone...I had no help!! I was a young mother, so my mother was still young so she still was working 2 jobs herself...and as hard as it was I made it happen. I met new friend at the daycare center that I had my kids enrolled in..ppl whom I trusted and I knew were good parents to their own children. I had someone who helped me out with the kids when I went back to school at nights, and just when I needed som "me" time. I see this happen all to much, mother's will bend over backwords for their daughter and their families but no where that for their son's! I don't know y, I always assumed moms are closer to their sons..but whatever. THis might go back to some issue between ur husband and his mother...I don't go to church but I do believe and prayy to god. I feel as if I get my strength from God and my willingness to move forward no matter what stands in my way...So All I can say is...NO U ARE NOT WRONG FRO FEELING LIKE THIS AT ALL!!! aND PRAY ON IT, LEAVE IT TO GOD AND LET HIM WORK THIS OUT FOR U. U ALSO NEED TO PRAY FOR UR MOTHER IN LAW AND PRAY THAT SHE IS SOON ABLE TO SEE HER WRONG DOINGS. WHAT IS GOOD FOR THE GOOSE IS GOOD FOR THE GANDER!

Chantelle - posted on 06/03/2010

no don't worry about your sons growth he is a healthy chubby baby my son is cubby and everyone tells me he's fat but i take my doctors advice he tells me he's not fat he's just right and look at it this way when your son gets sick with the flu and can't eat for a couple of days you know he's not going to wast away to nothing and it's not wrong to feel badly towards you mother in law if i were you i'd descide on family concling and take your son with you most of the time at fmily counclling sevices they have a childcare area where the mother and father can see their chid and also sort out their problems my partner and i have gone through some rough patches also but have decided against coucling and found that we just have a sense of humor about things we seem to get through it just fine keep your chin up and keep smiling

Tiffany - posted on 06/03/2010

You have every reason to be upset. I have been through this with my chunky daughter and mother in law. I would just tell her if she wants to treat one grandchild better than the other that she wont be allowed to see lil Logan at all. He doesn't deserve to grow up being treated differently because hes a little chunky!! Every child is different. I have been told the more fat around a babys brain the better. The more room they have for it to grow. My daughter is slimming down now that shes walking and running around. Tell your mother in law to have some respect. She had her turn to raise her children now she needs to leave the raising of her grandchildren to you!

Sarah - posted on 06/02/2010

My baby girl was the same way, and was healthy as can be, and is 3 now and still healthy.. She slimmed down once she started walking and playing more. Unfortunately people around us, relatives or not, have big mouths. I had people in my life that said teh same thing, and I would very nicely, just tell them that my child is perfect, and appreciate your concerns but they are not needed.. Sorry, it is a pain, especially when it is a MIL, just know that you are doing a great job and your child is proof of it. If your child was overwieght, your DR would tell you.. Tell MIL to back off, or you will need some time away from her.. The negative comments have to stop, it is hard enough with a new baby.

Rachelle - posted on 06/02/2010

honestly i think mother in laws are useless... but no i don't think there is anything wrong.. he is perfictly proportioned if he is 95's all the way around. and its not hindering his devlopement either... all babies grow differently mine gets all chubby and the next thing i know she all skinny but much longer.. if he was over weight he would be off the charts i love chubby babys (mine is her cheeks are just so pinchable) i say just ignor your mil and see if you can bring your baby to the councleing i know its not the best idea but better then nother i guess. oh if on good terms with sil get her to leave her baby with mil and get her to watch yours..?.



Your baby is your baby do not listen to other people and as for her being more into her other grandbaby its probably that her daughter kisses ass.. which justs shows how much more mature you are! (sorry no offence really i just have issues with inlaws)



oh and i love kristas comment about slimfast hehehe nothing better then catching some one off gard!!!

Crystal - posted on 06/02/2010

my daughter is 3yrs old and only weighs 29 lb but she has been over 3 ft tall for over a yr now. he is kinda big but if the dr hasnt said anything i woouldnt worry then i would tell ur mil to mind her on business its ur baby and u will take can of him the same way u have since u had him i am so glad i have a great mil

Heather Lee - posted on 06/01/2010

Ok, your son is 7 months old and 24 lbs, my son is 5 months old and 20 lbs! LOL! My son is very active, he is sitting up and trying to walk and crawling like a bear, and you know, one of my friends who's son is less than 24 hrs younger than mine isn't any where close to his weight. Plus I have a friend whose daughter was 1 yr old and 17 lbs! Girl, tell your MIL that your son is fine and that is the reason we have people suffering from anorexia and other weight problems! When he starts to grow as he gets older, he won't look like a twig!! Plus, it's actually good for babies to be a little more solid just in case they get sick! I have to deal with that as well with his grandmother on his father's side. It is irritating, but just smile and know you are doing what is BEST for YOUR son!!

Kerry - posted on 06/01/2010

I think it funny how MIL think they know everything, it's just ridiculous. My daughter is the opposite to your situation and i have similar issues with my MIL. She's 6mths and weighs 16lbs and 28in tall, doc says she's fine but apparently not fine enough for my MIL. She thinks she's too skinny and needs to eat more and all that bull crap. I was not a chubby baby myself and both her dad and i are tall so she is more on the lengthy side but healthy nonetheless. I wish she would just keep quiet and stop comparing my child to other babies.

Rachel - posted on 06/01/2010

my sons name is Logan and he is the same... 24 pounds and 95%! he is not even close to being overweight! bigger babies have more mylen in their brain which is for development is what my doc says and my Logan tooks his first steps the day before mothers day which means he was 7 months old the earliest my doc has seen. Not only is it rude to make a negative comment about a baby no matter what its about but thats your own grandson! I understand how you feel and am sorry :( Personally i think if your MIL doesnt want to accept her grandson in the same way she would her other grandchildren then its not fair to Logan and he shouldnt have to be around people like that. Well I am happy for you that Logan is so big and doing so well developmentally like my Logan and I wish you the best!

Desiree - posted on 06/01/2010

I have the exact opposite problem. No one thinks I feed my kid. He's super tall... he's 11 months and wights 17 pounds. He can still wear his 6 month old pants. My point is, they all grow at different rates no matter how big/small the parents are. As soon as he starts moving around more he will grow into his weight.

Jessica - posted on 06/01/2010

My friend's baby is about the same size as your son. She herself is short and her husband is tall. I wouldn't worry about that. Our dr said it's good to have a chubby baby. If your son gets sick and loses weight it won't be as big of a deal as if he were a little guy. Our dr also said once our baby is crawling/walking that the weight usually comes off and not to worry. If you're feeding your baby healthy food (breast milk very good) then it shouldn't matter, some babies are just bigger. My nephew is only 1 1/2 yrs and looks like a 3 yr old. So don't worry about how big or small your son is, until your dr thinks it's becoming a problem. If he says your son is fine, then just stick with that.
As for the mother in law, wow. I don't even know what to say. I'm sorry you're having problems with such an awful person. I'm also very sorry you're having problems in your marriage and wish the very best for you. Your husband needs to stick up for you and most importantly your son. If you're close with your sister in law, maybe you can tell her how your mother in law makes you feel and maybe she can pass the message along. Your M.I.L obviously isn't listening to you, so maybe she'll listen to her daughter. I hope everything gets better.
Best of luck to you.

Brittany - posted on 05/31/2010

I'm 4'11 and my boyfriend is 5'11. We're both super skinny and our son is straight 95%. You don't need to be concerned, everything is growing at the same rate and he'll be fine. She needs to back off, flat out. But if she's going to play favorites there's nothing you can do...maybe ask the other grandparents to help out?

Melinda - posted on 05/31/2010

isnt it horrible how our obsession with weight has trickled down to our infants? i am guilty as well, i worry about my son's weight, but as all the other mothers have posted, he is healthy and fine....i just think its horrible that from the beggining of life we are concerned with weight.

Jennifer - posted on 05/31/2010

My son Logan is under-average for his weight now on the 25th percentile although he was on the 9th since 3 weeks old. He's on 75th for height and the doctor has no concerns. Your child is not overweight and over here in the UK being overweight isn't an issue until school entry age so don't worry and ignore her comments.

Kimberly - posted on 05/31/2010

My daughter is about to turn 1 yrs old and is in the 90+ percentile for height weight (27 lbs) and head cir. My doctor said there is nothing wrong with it at all, she is not over weight she is growing at her pace and staying consistant with all of it.
I personally dont think you have anything to worry about with your sons size, he sounds like he is growing exactly right for him.

Nikki - posted on 05/30/2010

bottlefed babies do the same

Aicha - posted on 05/30/2010

Breastfeed babies slim down as soon as they start to walking

Kat - posted on 05/30/2010

there's nothing wrong with his weight. dont let anyone tell you. i had the opposite with my son (gonna be 1 on 6/11). at 7 months he was 5% weight and 100% height. the doc accused me of starving him, said he was failure to thrive, and made me take him to a children's hosp for tests, only to hear from the docs there that he was tall and skinny. but if your doc is ok with his weight, tell you MIL to shut up :) your son's weight and height are right for HIS body. so i wouldnt worry.

Kristin - posted on 05/29/2010

Unless your child's doctor thinks there is a problem, and even then it's still a big maybe, no, you do not need to worry about his growth.

No, you are not wrong to feel the way you feel. It is just how you feel. If she has nothing nice to say about her grandson, then she doesn't need to be in his life or yours for a while.

As for what to do, call on your friends or a sitter and take care of your marriage.

Good luck. I hope things get better soon.

Alysha - posted on 05/29/2010

If your doctor says that nothing is wrong with ur son than nothing is wrong with your son. My daughter is 10 months old and only weighs around 16 pounds and my doctor is concerned. Be happy that you have a son who is smart and healthy !! Ignore your mother in law, she obviously is very judgemental and i dont think its toward logan. I think she probably has another issue that she is using your son to vent with.
Anyways, ignore her!! Your son is healthy. If the doctor says so, than don't worry about it !

Catherine - posted on 05/29/2010

no you should be happy and proud of the fact you have a healthy baby just imagine how yor mil would go on if he was skinny and under weight your son sounds active and healthy and as he gets more mobile he will need his energy believe me ive had 5 children 3 of which are healthy adults now .Keep up the good work .

Krista - posted on 05/29/2010

Next time she brings up his weight, say that you've put him on Slim-Fast, so things should improve soon. Say it with as straight a face as you can. Every time she brings up his weight, say something ridiculous, like that you've put ankle weights on him so that he burns more calories while crawling, or that you've started taking diet pills, so that it'll be passed along in your breastmilk to him to make him lose weight.

Seriously, she's ridiculous, so you should treat her statements as such.

As far as having nobody else to watch Logan, is it possible that maybe your sister-in-law could take him? I don't know what your relationship with her is like, but it's worth asking.

So no, you shouldn't be worried about your son's growth. Your doctor isn't worried, and I'm sure he or she has seen plenty of obese babies. And no, you're not wrong for feeling like this. My son is also a bit of a tank, and while I never got negative comments, I'd hear a lot of "My goodness, he's big!" (Like I didn't freaking notice, right?) To that, I'd just say, "Yep, he's going to be a linebacker, that one!"

Cynthia - posted on 05/29/2010

Hoo boy! Yup, take a deep breath! First off, you are doing great so don't second guess yourself or let anyone tell you different. I completely agree with what Sarah said, to shut your MIL up bring her to your son's next wellness exam and let the Dr. tell her he's perfectly healthy! This might also let you create a better bond with your MIL if you brought her with you as well.

My son is 7 months old and at his 6 month checkup he weighed 21.5 lbs and measures 27 ". So yes, he's a big boy and perfectly healthy and happy. His Pediatrician says he's doing beautifully and not to change a thing! He's breastfed and I'm in the process of weaning him now along with the introduction to solids. So if your son's Dr. isn't worried about it you shouldn't either. Good luck to you and be strong!

Krystle - posted on 05/29/2010

My youngest son is about to go in for his 6 month check up and I'm guessing he's going to be like 25-26lbs or heavier. At 4months he was 21lbs, 26.5 inches long, and his head was 18cm around and at 2 months he was 17lbs....he's always been in the 98th % for his age. Trust me, it's fine. He's just a big boy and he's healthy!
I totally understand about the favoritism thing. That happens to my boys all the time. The only thing is that they're the ones who are the fav. and they get spoiled more than some of the rest of their cousins. You would think that would make a mother happy, but it saddens me b/c I love my neices and nephews. I don't want them getting upset or being left out or favored any more than I would want it happening to my kids. Your mother in law doesn't know what she is talking about! Keep you head up, you're not a bad mom and you're not overfeeding your baby...if the growth proportions add up and you dr. isn't worried then there shouldn't be anything to worry about. ;)

Nikki - posted on 05/28/2010

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!

My son weighed 20lbs at 6 months, now at a year he weighs 25lbs and is 34 inches. My doc says he is the healthiest baby he sees, he is go go go all the time and lately hasnt been gaining that much. Now that your on table food make sure he is eating healthy, but other then that soon he will will be running around and trust me hell stay slim. He is a baby, I was the chubbiest baby in the world, they used to call me thunder thighs and buddha baby. But when i grew up I was always around 100lbs til i got prego that is..... i love my son`s weight I love that he is bigger then most babies, hes very strong and has reached all his milestones quicker and he is super healthy.... dont listen to any negativity, enjoy him and stop stressing. Maybe at 5 if he is overweight then you can stress, but trust me your baby will soon be running laps around you and as long as he`s not eating MCD`s for breakfast lunch and dinner your smooth sailing

Sarah - posted on 05/28/2010

His weight is fine. He will slim down as he grows. My son was either 95 or 100% in both height and weight when he was a baby. He is now 12 yrs old and I have no idea what % he is in, but he is no where near fat. He is active and plays A LOT of sports. My best advise would be to just ignore her comments and don't let them affect you (I know easier said than done). But like I tell my kids you know the truth, so if someone is saying something that is not true just ignore it and let them be the stupid one.



As for the extra help it might be a good thing. I do agree what others have said that your mil is the one missing out. But with her neg. comments it might be more of a blessing that she is not there more often then what she is. I would suggest finding a babysitter that could come in during those times you guys go to counseling. I know this can be a scary and nervious thing to have to do. Talk to friends and neighbors and find out who they use or who might be good in the neighborhood. We live 4 and 5 hrs away from family so this is the only way we are able to go out without the kids. My kids love it and have a great time when they get a sitter.

Tiffany - posted on 05/28/2010

thanks guys yeah i have been direct with her saying i need her help and for to stop saying neg comments about his weight, i have been with my husband since i was 17 now im 25 so i thought over the years there would have been some bonding between me and her and that she might jump to the fact that me and her sons marriage is rocky, im not angry at him in fact im happy with my life but he's not . i dont really want to go over it but anyways i just thought we were closer and to be honest when i first found out i was pregent i was depressed scared upset it took me 6 months of my pregnecy to say to myself this is a good thing and he needs me as much as i need him.and when he was born total 360 happened now i cant get enough of him and i cant believe it myself. i never go out and really i dont mind. but i guess thats the problem too i guess i wish i would hear something good about lil logan and not so neg all the time cause i was depressed during my pregnacy and they knew that. *sigh* i find now that im dirfting apart from her which sucks cause really i do love her but i love my son wayyyyyyy more and when she talks neg stuff about him i can feel myself slowing not wanting to be around her.

Danelle - posted on 05/28/2010

There is nothing wrong with his weight. My first son was the same way and it seems like my 2 month old is going to be the same. He's 14 pounds already and is a little chunker. But he's perfectly happy. He is also breastfed. My oldest son is now 5 and is tall and slim. Once he started running around thats when he started slimming down. And he was breastfed for 2 years. I'm sorry to hear she is not supportive. But shes the one missing out. I hope your marriage works out. Good luck.

Sarah - posted on 05/28/2010

sister, it sounds like you've got your hands full! take a deeeeeep breath, it's OK.

your pediatrician would have told you if your son was overweight and the doc would have told you what steps to take to change his eating habits accordingly. Discuss it with your doctor over the phone, and let her know you're getting crap from your MIL about it. Then suggest that you bring her (the MIL) to your next regular appointment so that your doctor can discuss his weight with her there. It's amazing how hearing it direct from the doctor can shut someone up in a second!

As for the marriage counseling- first, Good For You. Try to fix it! :) Again, I think you need to be direct with her. Tell her flat out, we have an appointment for such and such date and we need you to watch logan. If she can't then see if there's a babysitting co-op in your area or if you can find another relative.

Maybe if you're up front with her she will respond better or maybe not, but atleast you'll know- it's not like she's helping you now anyway! But check yourself, you may be unintentionally giving her the wrong vibe b/c you're angry at your husband!

Shannon - posted on 05/28/2010

theres nothing wrong with his weight. he will slim down once he starts walking and running around. most babies are like that. and i would rather have a big baby than a skinny little sick one. dont listen to her. i dont know what to say about your MIL though, other than im sorry she acts like that, but dont listen to her about your sons weight. good luck though! :)