Other sleep options

Stephanie - posted on 12/31/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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My daughter didn't cope well with CIO.....what other options do I have to train her to sleep through the night????

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Kathy - posted on 01/02/2010

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Mines slept through the night since she was a week old, but I've found she sleeps longer in her own room, but if she wakes up early and won't go back to sleep after bottle and changing, etc I put her in the bassinet in our room and she's out for another 3-4 hours at least

Crystal - posted on 01/02/2010

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Quoting Renae:

Thanks for answering my questions, that helps me to know whats going on.

The CIO method you used is called "extinction". In my opinion, it should only be used with cry interpretation. That is when someone explains to you how to listen to your babies cries and identify when she is becoming distressed. I think that your baby became very distressed and because you did not go to her, she will now scream for as long as she can until she "passes out" from exhaustion. Again, in my opinion, this is not a good way to do CIO.

If your baby is waking max 2 times a night, she is doing exactly what a 4 month old is supposed to do. YES she should be waking because she thinks she will get fed, that is what 4 month old babies do. You can't expect her to not need to be fed at night until AT LEAST 6 months and even then plenty of babies continue to need to be fed at night until 10 months. Sleep training and CIO have their place, but I do not believe yours is a case where CIO is warranted at all. I am very SHOCKED that your doctor recommended this. You were not to know and can only trust what the doctor tells you - your doctor should have known better.

Your baby is not waking too frequently for her age. She is waking just the right amount of times. You should not be using any sleep training method on her at all, she doesn't need it. Often sleep training only works when the baby is physiologically ready to sleep through. I do not believe your baby is ready.

If you are doing this to teach her to go to sleep on her own, then you can still do this using the gradual withdrawal method I mentioned before.

Again, you are welcome to contact me about anything I have said or if you would like more information.


Fantastic Advice :-)

Susanne - posted on 01/01/2010

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My daughter is 5month old and has been sleeping through the night since she was eight weeks old. She goes to bed at 7pm gets her last bottle at 8pm and 30 min. later goes to sleep until 7/8 am. With both of my daughter's I used "baby wise" and it worked great. I did not follow it striktly since there are a few things I did not like. But very important for us was enougth milk during the day (5 times 6oz), and not to let her sleep wright after the bottle. She is on a 3 1/2 hr schedule and after she eats I keep her up to play and than she goes for a nap. Good luck.

Renae - posted on 01/01/2010

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Thanks for answering my questions, that helps me to know whats going on.

The CIO method you used is called "extinction". In my opinion, it should only be used with cry interpretation. That is when someone explains to you how to listen to your babies cries and identify when she is becoming distressed. I think that your baby became very distressed and because you did not go to her, she will now scream for as long as she can until she "passes out" from exhaustion. Again, in my opinion, this is not a good way to do CIO.

If your baby is waking max 2 times a night, she is doing exactly what a 4 month old is supposed to do. YES she should be waking because she thinks she will get fed, that is what 4 month old babies do. You can't expect her to not need to be fed at night until AT LEAST 6 months and even then plenty of babies continue to need to be fed at night until 10 months. Sleep training and CIO have their place, but I do not believe yours is a case where CIO is warranted at all. I am very SHOCKED that your doctor recommended this. You were not to know and can only trust what the doctor tells you - your doctor should have known better.

Your baby is not waking too frequently for her age. She is waking just the right amount of times. You should not be using any sleep training method on her at all, she doesn't need it. Often sleep training only works when the baby is physiologically ready to sleep through. I do not believe your baby is ready.

If you are doing this to teach her to go to sleep on her own, then you can still do this using the gradual withdrawal method I mentioned before.

Again, you are welcome to contact me about anything I have said or if you would like more information.

Stephanie - posted on 12/31/2009

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The Cry It Out method I did was the one where you just let them scream until she falls asleep......and you just don't go in at all....she started screaming to the point she sounded scared.....and abandoned.... when her doctor said use the Cry It Out method she also told me a book I should try....but I haven't gotten it yet.....She is only getting up once a night 2 times max when we arn't doing the cry it out thing....when we did it she would scream for 2-4 hours and then sleep about 30 min...I haven't heard of any of these other methods....when I said she isn't coping with Cry It Out I was saying she felt VERY abandonded and would hold on for dear life when we finally went in....even if we didn't pick her up......when she does get up at night she I let her fuss for a few minutes before I go in and see her. But I'm wondering if it is she is only getting up because she thinks shes gunna get fed.....Thanks for all the information!

Paulette - posted on 12/31/2009

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I have seven children, and have a website with free advice. Check out the page on routines. www.motheringadvice.org.nz

Renae - posted on 12/31/2009

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Stephanie, I just looked (should have looked before I posted sorry) and see that your baby is only 4 months. How many times a night is she waking? Most 4 month olds are still feeding twice a night and a few are still on 3-4 hourly feeding at that age.



I also just saw that you did whatever CIO method it was for 2 weeks. That is a long time. However you are doing it may not be quite right (no offense) as like I said that is a long time especially for a 4 month old, if it hasn't worked by now there is something you are not doing right.



Oh it really erks me when GP's give out advice on sleep training! I find most of the time they only know one method and are generally uneducated on the subject - just my experience.

Renae - posted on 12/31/2009

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You have several options. No-cry methods and crying methods. Crying methods are most effective, have higher success rates and work quickly. No cry methods are gentle and require some time and patience.



I would be interested to know what CIO method you used, did you do control crying (ferber method)? It would also help me to know what you mean when you say she didn't cope? Do you mean she threw up or convulsed or something like that? (That can happen with CC) How many hours did she cry for? I do not agree with CC but can give you information about an alternate CIO method where you learn to interpret your babies cries and go to them only if they become distressed. This method is much less stressful for the baby than CC. I am not an advocate of any method where you go in and check on them as each time you go into them, you must leave again, and when you leave they go through the initial distress of being left all over again and it makes the baby more and more distressed. The research into CC that shows baby's stress levels increase to what some people believe to be far too high and that this extreme level of stress is caused from the fact that you keep leaving. With cry interpretation the great majority of babies calm down and go to sleep before they become distressed. This method usually takes 3 days, some babies take up to 6 days. If you are interesting in learning how to do this you are welcome to message me.



Something you need to be aware of is that your baby has already become distressed by trying a CIO method first that didn't work, so now she MIGHT have increased resilience to a no-cry method. Gentler methods may still work, but there is a chance they will take longer than normal.



The no-cry method most commonly used by behaviourists and sleep consultants is gradual withdrawal. This is where you gradually withdraw the baby from needing your help to go to sleep. This has an 80% success rate and normally takes 2-4 weeks. This method can take a lot of your time, both day and night, especially during the first week so you need to be very patient.



Another no-cry method is that of UK baby whisperer Tracey Hogg, called Pick-up/Put-down. She has a website with a support forum for people using the method. This is not a commonly recognised method and is not based on any psychological research, but there are lots of posts saying it works. Her book is called Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. This method is supposed to take about 4 days, but most of the posts I have read seem to say it took more like 1-2 weeks.



You can also read Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall (involves a small amount of crying before going to them) or No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley (no crying at all but takes anywhere from a few weeks to a few months).



There is lots of info out there if you google any of the above methods. You are also more than welcome to contact me for info or instructions on anything I have said (if I include it all this post will be too long).

Stephanie - posted on 12/31/2009

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Her doctor told me to start Cry It Out at 4 months...and I chickened out until just a couple weeks ago...and those were the worst 2 weeks ever....thanks for the tip...I think I'll try taking the night feeding away this weekend and see what happens.....that seems to be the only reason she is waking up.....she could care less if we pick her up or just feed her while she is laying in the crib.....so maybe this will help. THANK YOU!

Tanya - posted on 12/31/2009

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i guess she is just not ready yet! She is still so young that she is on her own time. Just keep with the routine and if you can, try to get rid of the night time feeding. I put my son in his bassinet beside my bed at night, and about 20 min before he was due to e at i would pop his soother in, and extend the time he would eat by about 30 min each night, until eventually he was used to no night time feedings!
I think if you get rid of the night time feeding it might really speed up the sleeping all night :)

best of luck!

Stephanie - posted on 12/31/2009

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My daughter is 5 months old. CIO didn't work at all...we tried for 2 weeks and EVERY night the amount of sleep we got decreased. It got to the point she would scream for a minimum of 2 hours and then only sleep for a maximum of 30 min and then she would be up screaming again. We have a routine before bed and now that I stopped CIO she is back to only getting up 1 time a night for a bottle. I haven't tried the heating pad or the shirt...maybe those are worth a try.......THANKS GUYS!!!

Andrea - posted on 12/31/2009

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I think a routine helps (although it may take a little time before she realizes it as a routine) and I make the environment feel like mommy. Try putting a heating pad where she's going to be laying and maybe let her sleep on a shirt you've worn recently. It usually helps make think they're with mommy.

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This is my first baby so i'm not sure if this works with everyone or just my son...



Move her to her own bedroom if you haven't already. My son is breastfed and woke every 2 hrs to nurse. The first night in his room he slept 6 hrs!



Make sure all naps during the day are taken in the same place you want baby to sleep at night. If she falls asleep in your arms/swing/carseat lay her down as soon as posible so she wakes up in her crib.



In the beginning we bought my son a mobile that plays music he no longer needs it to sleep but it may help to use something like that till she gets used to sleeping in her crib. Our mobile has a remote so if my son wakes we can turn it on without him seeing us and he watches it till he falls back asleep.



Don't try and keep her up during the day if she is tired in hopes of her sleeping longer at night. It just gets them over tired and they actually have a harder time getting to sleep at bedtime.



Try doing a sleep routine same time every night. Our routine is (1) bath first (2) I read him a story or two in his room (3) nurse him in his room with the lights off (4) lay him in his crib awake with his binky



It won't work right away but give it a week or two. When she does wake make sure it's very boring for her. Leave the lights off, try not to change her unless it's poopy, and don't play/talk to her. If she is bottle fed have the bottle ready when you go into her room and feed her in her room with the lights out and lay her right back in bed when you are done. I also dislike the CIO method so if need be comfort her but like I said make it boring rock her in the dark but nothing she finds interesting. My son (5 months old) sleeps 12 hrs every night and wakes for one feeding. If we get off his routine though his sleep changes so you gott be consistant. Hope this helps good luck

Tanya - posted on 12/31/2009

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what have you tried and how old is she?my son is 6 months and i let him cry it out for about 20 minute sthe first night and he went to sleep, and since i knew he was capable the next nights i was a little tougher and now ( a week later) he sleeps through the night. It was hard but im so glad i did it! he is a lot happier and its nice that my husband and i can count on some time to each other. but some people arent comftorable with it and i totally understand why! does she get a nighttime feeding? if so thats one of the huge problems, gotta cut out that first! a routine is important too so she knows its time to sleep.

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