Please Help!!! Is it really that bad to sleep in bed with your baby?

Savannah - posted on 11/10/2009 ( 35 moms have responded )

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Today I took a nap with my 2 month old daughter in the bed. It was literally the best sleep either of us have had since I brought her home. Can your baby really die from this? Does anyone else do this? Please Help!

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Christine - posted on 11/11/2009

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i co sleep with me son when my husband is away but it is important to know the risks. the risks are NOT only for people who are under the influence of drugs. there is a risk of being caught between the bed and wall. suffocation because a parent rolls onto the infant, the infant gets caught in blankets/pillows, the infant is face down on a softer surface than his matress (or a plastic one as with a water bed). there are a number of things to be aware of when you sleep with your baby and there is a risk of something happening. i feel if i take precautions and am aware of my baby's presence he will be safe sleeping with me.

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Lesley - posted on 11/20/2009

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13 1/2 months and still co-sleeping! This has been happening for centuries now and as long as you are not under the influence of drugs or alcohol, take precautions to remove bulky bedding/pillows and ensure that your little one is safe, it is the most healthiest and safe sleep environment for them. Yes, there are risks as there are with anything these days. Just be smart about your sleeping environment. Co-sleeping works for me and my daughter - she breastfeeds, less interruptions to either of us when she wakes up, she settles back to sleep immediately and I am there for whatever and whenever she needs me to be!!! Down side - my husband has slept on the couch for 13 1/2 months!!! Isabella is progressing to her own crib over the last few months - but when she wakes up around 2am - she comes to bed with me till 8am. Everyone has their opinion on co-sleeping but for me - I took precautions (our bed is not against a wall), I love it and it works. xox

Theresa - posted on 11/19/2009

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I slept with mine until they were a couple months old because it made it so much easier to get up in the middle of the night. It's not a big deal. When you do put them in their own room, they might cry for a night or three, but they are resilient and they get into the routine.

Tiffany - posted on 11/18/2009

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I've only co-slept with my son once or twice, but that was just because I was soooo tired and couldn't keep my eyes open. And yes, your baby can die from this if you happen to roll over on them or you smother them with your covers. Anyways, I was watching the news about a recent death by co-sleeping and they gave the advice to use a co-sleeping bassinet or one that you just place in bed with you. I'd probably do that just to stay on the safe side because once you're to the point that you're in a deep sleep you never know what could happen even if you think you're well aware and are awake enough.

Ashley - posted on 11/17/2009

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My baby usually sleeps in his crib, but once daddy leaves for work, we get a couple hours together in my bed. He sleeps in my arm and we both get a good nap in. and we both wake up feeling good and refreshed.

Michelle - posted on 11/17/2009

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I've slept with my 3 month old son ever since we brought him home and have been feeling guilty about it. I read all horrible stories about SIDS and suffocation and that scares the living daylights out of me. But in my case, it was a choice of all of us, including my baby, not having any sleep at all or having him in bed with us. He wouldn't sleep for more than 30 minutes at best on his bassinet. During his first month, we made an elevated "bed" for him using layers and layers of rolled up blankets with the top layer a firm layer so there would be no danger of suffocation. We eventually found a vibrating bed for him (My Little Lamb from Fisher-Price), he likes the soft vibration and music, and he's been sleeping very well on it in the middle of our bed. Because it is elevated and has a plastic and metal frame, there's no danger of him being accidentally rolled on or covered by blankets. There's another device you can use, called the NapNanny, just google it. But it's waaay pricier than what we have now. It depends on your budget. I do plan to either use the bassinet again or just use his crib when he's more mobile and can easily wiggle out of his current digs. Good luck!

Jeannie - posted on 11/17/2009

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god love ya honey.. i'm old school when it comes to the raising of my kids. people freak that i lay my babies on their bellies at early age but we were raised that way and we r fine!! i truely believe that the only way anything bad can happen to ur lil princess while in ur bed is if u weigh 400 lbs and sleep like a rock to pt of not realizing ur rolling on her!!!! cherish every little thing with baby girl cause time flies by and before ya know it they r grown

Natalie - posted on 11/17/2009

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My daughter is one year old now, and she has been sleeping with us in bed, since day one she slept in my chest and we slept for 4 hours straight! best nap ever! every move your baby does you'll feel so don't worry, you as a mom will never roll over and kill her, specially if you breastfeed, there's a hormone called prolactina (in spanish) that keeps you aware. But there are some security meassueres you should always take:

-The people who co-sleep with the baby can't smoke, drink, take drugs of anykind (not even pain killers)

- the sheets must be tight, no thick comforter or puffy pillows near the baby, because he could suffocate.

- You shoul have a night light,or a bathroom door half open with the light on, so you can see if there is something wrong in th emiddle of the night.

- If Dad is not so sure or scared of rolling over, you can get a bed bar and sleep your self in the middle.

- Have in mind that your body heat will keep your baby extra warm so you don't have to cover him or her as much, check regularlly for baby's body temperature (toch the nose to see if too cold, touch the back of the neck to see if sweating)

- You can also use a positioner to put baby in bed with you.

Co sleeping in many cultures is a common thing and if done properly can reduce the risk of sudden infant death, because you can be more aware of your baby's breathing, temperature, etc.

A lot of people critized me when I told them we were planning to co sleep, but it has work just perfect, my baby is one now and we are all happy, we'll be putting her in her own bed in january.

Good luck!

Emily - posted on 11/16/2009

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i didnt it
but i used a baby positioner
and also made sure there was enough space in between me and her
and her and the wall
most ppl sleep more cautiously with someone else there

Allyson - posted on 11/16/2009

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I always swore I would never bring a baby into bed but after I had my daughter I found myself doing it after a few months. I don't move when I sleep but my husband does. On the nights I bring the baby to bed I set up a barrier between him and the baby and now he can tell when she is in the bed. I haven't had any problems but I also try to do it sparingly, mainly b/c she loves sleeping in the bed more than her crib. The reason I started bringing her to bed is b/c when she wakes up in the middle of the night I always breastfeed her in our glider. There was a few times that I woke up while feeding her in the chair and I think it is safer to fall asleep with her in the bed than in the chair.

Jillian - posted on 11/15/2009

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when i first brought my daughter home, she would not sleep in her crib..just cried and cried so for the first month she slept with me..the funny thing, i am a mover when i sleep...but i didnt move an inch when she was with me...and it scared me sometimes cuz i remmeber one time she was on my stomach and i fell asleep with her lying there..but thankfully i woke up and we were both still there..when i was breastfeeding, it was so hard to get her to get back to sleep....anyway, after a about a month, i decided to try the crib again and she did great...been sleeping all night since she was 5 weeks...shes 4 months now and just recently i started puttin her with me again lol cuz i get lonely cuz im a single mother..her dad is not in her life...so i lvoe sleeping with her..people tell me that shes gonna get in the habit of sleeping with me..but to tell ya thr truth..she'll sleep with me or in the crib..she sleeps anywhere at night...shes a heavy sleeper at night...so in my opinion, i dont think it hurts a bit

Jessica - posted on 11/15/2009

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We slept with my daughter in the bed with us for her first 3 months. We swaddled her and put her in between our pillows. So she was right by my head and not in as much danger of us rolling over on her. The Pediatrician strongly discouraged this but it worked for us. She got too big and we moved her to the bassinet that is right by my bed. She is over 5 months now and still in her bassinet. Im trying to put her in her crib in her room at night but it's really hard for me to sleep with her in another room. I just feel more comfortable with her in the room with me. She is almost too big for the bassinet so I guess I have to "cut the cord" soon and start putting her in her crib overnight. She does take her naps in her crib and does really well, its just me that needs put her in overnight.

Kimberly - posted on 11/15/2009

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Personal experience... I used to babysit my friends son, and he always cried so i would lay down and nap with him... well he is now 13 and finally kicked the trying to crawl in bed with mommy and daddy. if at all possible i would not recommend it for that reason, i learned from my mistake and never did it with my son. LOL. Good luck

Christina - posted on 11/15/2009

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some people say how dangerous it is and it may be. but when he sleeps with us im not in a deep sleep and any lil move he makes were there, ive never once rolled, elbowed, anything to him. he sleeps in his bed for few hours then wakes up to be with us. i ont feel bad for doing it at all, love it

Christina - posted on 11/15/2009

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my son has slept with us since he was 2 months old. theyre not little forever so what if they sleep with you for a few? lol the sids thing did scare me so i didnt want him to sleep alone but when he sleeps with us i feel more comfortable and he sleeps better,

Jane - posted on 11/14/2009

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My lil one sleeps only in my bed when he wakes up in the morning for his morning cuddle and bottle, and I lie next to him reading a book!! I have never and will never co-sleep with him. I just never want to take the risk of something happening to him, and I know that I move a lot in my sleep..to which my husband can attest to!! Cody sleeps just fine in his own lil crib where we are all happy for him to be x x

Karina - posted on 11/14/2009

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they do make special little beds that u can put ur baby in to sleep next to u in the bed which makes it alot safer. It is dagerous as u can smother ur baby while u sleep as nobody knows what they do in their sleep, I think all mums have done it at one point I have and i loved it but i try not to do it coz it worries me, but if u do really enjoy it and occasionally wanna take a nap with ur bubby and ur worried u can always buy a little bed for him to prevent smothering.. Hope this was helpful.

Ami - posted on 11/14/2009

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YESS...its dangerous!!!!! it is so easy to slip into a deep sleep and roll over on your child!!! sorry for being cheeky but its irresponsible, its basically putting your kid in danger

Kari - posted on 11/13/2009

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My son had his nights and days mixed up for the first 3 weeks or so, we finally ended up having him sleep with us until he was 2 months old. We were reluctant at first, but it was really the only thing that worked. I talked to the public health nurse about it, and she said that they always say the crib is the safest place, but she definitely wouldn't recommend it if you or your husband are a smoker or have been drinking....

Tasha - posted on 11/13/2009

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The question is do you want to take the chance that something does happen. All it takes is once and something could go horribly wrong. They do make co-sleepers that sit next to the bed that are supposed to be perfectly safe. These might be a safer option.

Keshisha - posted on 11/13/2009

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they say its bad coz can cause cot death but i have always slept with mu son in my be til he wos 6mnths and my daughter is now 7mnths and she will onli sleep if she is in my bed!

JENNIFER - posted on 11/12/2009

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MY SON IS 3 MONTHS AND I HAVE HAD HIM IN THE BED WITH ME SINCE THE DAY HE LEFT THE HOSPITAL!!! I PUT HIM ON HIS BOPPY PILLOW AND HE SLEEPS ON THAT!!! TO ANSWER YOU QUESTION I DONT SEE A PROBLEM WITH IT, IF YOUR CHILD IS OK WITH IT THAN SO BE IT!!! HOPE I HELPED;)

Kate - posted on 11/12/2009

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I wouldn't do it! It is too much of a risk, there were three infant deaths in my immediate area from people sleeping with their baby in their bed. It isn't just people who alter their minds with drinking or drugs that end up smothering their child; anyone can do it. When you are sleeping, you move around and could end up harming the baby. I wouldn't suggest it! I don't do it with my infant, I am too afraid!

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i often nap with my son in my bed, but i make sure there are no blankets on top of him. We cuddle up and like you, we get the best sleep when we are together. I also put my back out, so when i was breastfeeding i often had to lie down with him and we would both doze off. I agree, that you need to know the risks but you do what is best to prevent problems occurring. The problem will soon be getting my son out of my bed

Amanda - posted on 11/11/2009

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There are risks involved but I have slept with both of mine. We put them in between us and we have never once rolled over on them. You know they are there. At first they do sleep much better. I just caution don't let it go on too long or your mate could get angry at the consequences b/c if it becomes a habit they will always want to sleep with you. I think by the 3rd month they should be in their own bed or by the time they sleep through the night. Then they can go into another room and be okay all night and they are young enough that as they get older thats all they will ever have known and it will be 2nd nature, good luck!!

Victoria - posted on 11/11/2009

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I never lt my son sleep in bed with me overnight but once it reaches about 7am if hes willing to go back to sleep he often will sleep in wth me. I dont do it before 7am though because before that I'd be too tired. Come 7am I've had a few hours sleep and am completely alert to him. He sleeps in my arms so he cant roll n if he starts to fuss I wake straght up to him. There are great risks in sharing your bed with your baby so I wouldnt recommend it overnight but for a quick nap if you know you'll respond then I think its fine so long as you take precautions.

Pattrice - posted on 11/11/2009

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My son has been sleeping with me and my husband since birth. I keep my arm wrapped around him and he usually stays in one spot. It is so much easier to do this. you don't have to get up to feed them they just roll over and nurse. Our pillows are are in front of our headboard so he can't get stuck. and the bonding time to have them sleep with you is amazing. Unless you are a heavy sleeper you won't roll over on them.

Stacey - posted on 11/11/2009

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I work for the child services agency in our local community and see many cases (about 14 a year) where a parent is co-sleeping with a child and the child dies. Some of them are cases where the parent is intoxicated, however, many of them involve the parent smothering the baby with their weight, or with a pillow, or the baby gets stuck between the bed and the wall, or the baby falls off the bed altoghether. I cannot stress enough that it is so important that the baby has their own sleeping space. They do sell things that you can set on your bed that encompasses the baby so that you can't roll over on them. Please get one if you are going to co-sleep with baby!

Tasha - posted on 11/11/2009

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My aunt is a paramedic and a few weeks ago she had a call where a 5 month old baby wasn't breathing. The mother slept with the baby and the baby ended up getting smothered somehow. I do not and repeat do not recommend sleeping in a bed with your child.

Krystal - posted on 11/11/2009

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You are taking a risk of co-sleeping with your baby, co-sleeping is popular in other countries, and so is SIDS. As a nurse in an ER, I have seen a handful of babies brought in unresponsive after being suffocated by co-sleeping with mom. I also have a 15month old & know how frustrating it can be to get them to sleep well. They sell those sleep things, that you can put your baby in, in the bed with you with walls & it kind of positions them..personally my daughter hated that thing. One thing I did end up doing, was letting her sleep on her belly in her crib sooner than they recommend..I figured sleeping on her belly on a firm crib mattress was safer than co-sleeping with extra blankets & a soft mattress.

Kristina - posted on 11/11/2009

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I did have my new born in the bed with me, and I can say it worked well for my husband and I, but she started moving around more and she would scoot up to the top of the bed and I would pull her back down, then I worried about the covers to make sure they were not over her face. I realized I was not geting the sleep I needed for worrying so much, so I put her in her own bed and now we both get a good nights rest, Do what works for you. Just use be careful.

Jessica - posted on 11/11/2009

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I co slept with my son from birth until he was 2. I co sleep with my daughter. Instead of thick comforter on top of me I use small thin fleece blanket and keep fluffy pillows(and my husband) away from her

Leyla - posted on 11/10/2009

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bed sharing is common in almost all parts of the world except here in the US. it works for us on occasion...and has since day 1 but not all the time because my son (now 10 months) likes his own space.

there are no death sentences from bed sharing....only from people who alter their state of mind (drinking/drugs) and then forget the baby is there....

Sarah - posted on 11/10/2009

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I sleep with my son in the bed just for some afternoon naps. I really enjoy it actually, i feel like its our special time together. I really dont think sleeping during the night in the bed is very safe. I know alot of mothers do that, especially breastfeeding moms, i breastfeed and i dont feel the need to feed him in bed. I just come out to the couch and feed him and lay him down in the bassinet beside our bed. But if you feel it is safe, then I cant see a problem with it. It is just the way I feel, my husband rolls alot, and its really dark, so i feel safer with him in the bassinet beside me. For your question can the baby die, yes it can. they can sufficate, especially if you cant see them in the dark, it is more of a risk i would think.

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