Christina - posted on 07/29/2010 ( 22 moms have responded )
So, I keep hearing conflicting things from all around me. "Oh, its normal to not be as interested in sex anymore" "No! Thats a bad sign!" "You've probably just got ppd" "Oh don't worry about it, its not a big deal. You're married now you don't have to have sex."
Now, I'm a firm believer in part of marriage is sex, as that is not just a stress release and the way you make your children but its a very important bonding & loving part of the relationship and I do try but for the last few months its really hard for me to get in the mood. My husband nags me about it, which only makes me feel really bad and makes the situation worse. He thinks I'm not attracted to him, which is so far from the case its not even funny.
I'm partly worried about getting pregnant again to soon. He is allergic to latex and BC causes me to hemorage. We've tried many forms of BC throughout my life to the same resault. Shot, pills, patch, ring... tried it and it was bad. My doctor is afraid of putting me on anything because of that. And to top it off the other types of condoms, non-latex, cause me to get UTI's really bad every time. If we were to get pregnant again right now, we would be scraping by financially. With buying our own house & a 6 month old that just wont do.
On top of it, while I'm finally starting to like my body again now that I'm getting better control of it, I still don't see anything "pretty" in the mirror.
When we do get a chance and I'm up for it, it doesn't take long before Kalli-Mae gets bored and cries thus killing the "mood." Seeing as we don't really have anyone to watch her, its hard to have any time where she isn't within our hearing range and being 6 months kinda makes it hard to just let her entertain herself without being in her playpen or having to wait till she is asleep.
My husband screams that 1-2 times a week just isn't enough or normal, that something is wrong. And to make it all worse, when I went to shut his laptop down at bed time one night I saw that he was looking up articles about "sexless marriages." That actually hurt. He acts as though we're falling apart just because it went from every night of the week before pregnancy to 3-4times a week during pregnancy to 1-2 times a week after baby was born.
I don't know what to do, I'm at a loss. Our 1 year anniversary is coming up on Aug 14 and we wont get to do anything just the two of us, again because no one to watch/babysit our daughter. Any insight would be wonderful.