Tired and exhausted, four kids a year apart, what can I do for my self.

Kerry - posted on 12/02/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My boyfriend goes to work most of the time working overtime as well. My dad lives with us, the house is full. I feel like he is around 24/7, I get no time for my self. I do the cooking cleaning, and no one pitches in. The thing is, my dad has a disability it's like I am taking care of him. I have 4 kids ages 10 months, 3 years, 5 years and 6 years. But it's like I have 5 kids with my dad because when I make meals for my kids, I have to make his meal because he doesn't know how, just makes all my tasks even longer to do. I was fine when he first moved in with me, but now I am just overwhelmed when I am the only one cooking every single day, I feel like a lot is being taken out of me because I just do so much taking care of the kids, cleaning, and I feel like no one notices. My dad just watches t.v, I get annoyed when that is the only thing he does. I pay my cable bill but I never get to watch it, so why do I pay for cable then. When I have the chance to take time for my self. He just dominates the t.v still. I feel like I can't get any privacy at all. I would like to go out but I can't trust anyone with my kids. I needed get this out some how so I am using circle of moms, I don't think anyone can really help me or give some advice on this one because it's kind of personal, I am glad I have circle of moms to express how it is being a mom. My 10 month old demands a lot of attention, it is especially awkward when I am breastfeeding. I can't just breastfeed around him, I have to go to my bedroom everytime he gets hungry, I would like to just sit in my living room and watch a program and breastfeed but it just bothers me that my dad has to be there all the time. We are moving in to a bigger house soon, and he will have his own living room, Right now though I want to shoo him away for a while so I can get what I need. I was wondering if anyone else out there is having the same problem where they just can't find time for them selves, or needs to get there feelings out about the same situation I'm in? Somebody talk to me please.

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Jessica - posted on 09/04/2012

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Kerry I feel the same way I have four kids ages:6,2,1,and my 1month old and my husband has his dad living with us it is very uncomftorable he has lived with us 4 yrs but I guess its kind is hard to kick family out.I usually have the same routine everyday cook clean and take care of babies I feel like I don't have a life....most days I am sad and lonely because my husband works from 7 a.m to 6pm or later and most weekends..... I don't have any friends and my mom and sister get on my nerves because they make me feel more depressed with their comments oh yeah and I am only 21. Yrs old I just don't know what can I do to feel happy with my life again don't get me wrong I love my kids to death and in like you I don't trust them with n e one I guess because I has bad things happen to me I would really like to be your friend because we have a lot in common ....

Kerry - posted on 12/16/2009

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I came up with a resolution, I put a T.V in his room, so now he is in his room a lot, but he now helps with cleaning, and I have to spend a lot of time with my 10 month old because he has a skin condition where I have to rub him down with special cream 3 times a day. So it seems like I am still busy with my youngest and all the others, and keeping up with feeding everybody, and taking my dad to appointments. He appreciates the support I give him. He lets me rest sometimes, I seem to have a sleeping disorder, I am tired all the time even though I go to bed early and get the full 8 hours sleep. I feel like falling asleep in the middle of doing something. I wonder if anybody else has the same problem of having a sleeping disorder while having to support their kids!

Kerry - posted on 12/16/2009

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Wow Andrea, I take my hat off to you, you sure do get the cake, that is amazing, I mean just incredible for you to do all that and to have the heart to do that for your parents and take care of your little ones as well. Welp, my dad is going on vacation for a bit so we both can have a break from each other, and you are right, it has gotten a bit better since I last posted that comment. you are a perfect role model for your children, hardworking and willing. I do a lot of my father but I see that he tries to give in return by doing small favors such as chipping in with cleaning, he is not so bad after all, he just need to adjust to living with me, and open up a bit more, and make him self more comfortable around the house. Thank you for sharing your personal relating, it sure is nice to know that there are others out there that have to support other people other than there kids. You got triple the work than me though, I am impressed. I hope that you take time for your self as well, you deserve it.

Andrea - posted on 12/03/2009

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Your not alone. My dad had a major heart attack and a mini stroke a little over 2 years ago.. I take care of him everyday.. I mean my mom helps but she to is some what disabled also.. I only have a 2 year old and a 8 month old.. But I can relate so well.. I am sure it will help when he is able to go and sit in another room away from you for a bit. I know it is hard for me cuz i have to take my 8 month old to the doctor's to meet with her surgery team very couple months and I have to take my son, dad, mom and her and I.. It is sometime like having 4 kids with me.. My dad will pick at my mom (he has the mentaitly of a 2 to 3 year old) and my son.. So I feel like i am always correcting some one.. Over all it will get some what better.. I know that my parents just moved out a few short months ago in to ass. living where I still provide the care for them both.. I go and clean there home, laundery and ect.. ( i take my kids with) Then I come home start dinner, baths,dishes,laundery and ect... Get kid fed and put to bed just in time to start my 2nd job.. I do the paper work for my hubby's company.. I am up every nite till 2 or 3 in the morning.. I start my day between 6 and 7 most days some day earlier.. If you ever just want to talk i am hear to talk to... Take care and Best wishes..

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