What did you do differently with your second baby?

Brittany - posted on 08/25/2012

I've found that my son is getting babied, for lack of a better term, more than my daughter was. It isn't so much that he's the second or a boy. But that I don't want his screaming to bug my daughter or the neighbors.



I tried to co-sleep as little as possible with my son. I'm glad I did too, he is already overly attached to me.

Amy - posted on 08/24/2012

I did and am doing sooooo many things differently with my daughter than I did with my son. I breastfed longer, didn't do a big first birthday party, spent less on her first and second Christmas than we did with my son. I don't go running to her everytime she gets hurt I tell her she's ok, help her up and walk away. After she turned one I fed her what we were eating and didn't tone it down for her, she got it spicy and all.

Katherine - posted on 08/24/2012

Yes, confidence is a big thing! That's the word I was looking for.

Denikka - posted on 08/24/2012

I was comfortable to let her cry. I always had this feeling with my son that if he cried for more than 1/10 of a second, I was doing something wrong.

With my daughter, I'm different. I now feel that it's okay if she cries for a few minutes. I don't need to drop everything and run at the slightest whimper.



I'm also not as paranoid about either kid being away from me now. I'm not sure if that's more parental maturity or less paranoia about the area I'm in and the people I'm around though.

The only park in my hometown was frequently used by drug users, homeless people, drunks, etc and I was always worried about my son picking something up, getting hurt or any number of other things. We almost never visited the park and when we did, I was always right there, not even out of arms reach. Freaked me out pretty bad. I almost never let anyone take him out of my sight and when I did, I was freaked out the entire time. The only people I was okay with babysitting him was my grandparents.

That being said, my mom and my siblings, who would have been the only others who would have babysat or taken him out of my sight, are not the most responsible of people. And at the time, I was in a battle of wills with my mom in law and was convinced that she would find ANYTHING to create tension/drama and to potentially even call CPS into the picture.



At this point, I am SO much more relaxed. We've moved 2 provinces away from where we were. We have a park just down the road (about the same distance as the park in my home town was from us) and I'm fully confident in letting my son (3yrs) and my daughter (1.5) walk by themselves beside me. The only times they HAVE to hold hands is when we cross the street. I let my son run all over the playground (it helps that it's fenced in :P) and have let him go even when we are at a park that isn't fenced.

I'm comfortable letting family take him for the day (my hubby's family) and don't worry about it at all.

They're more comfortable taking Torin at this point because he's older and Linnaea has pretty severe separation anxiety and dislikes strangers, so we're slowly helping her grow out of that and she has recently been doing wonderfully.

It's really been about letting go. Ever since we moved (when my youngest was about 6mo), I'm so much more confident, and so much more comfortable, in just letting the reins go a bit. And let me tell you, it's been nice :P