Why are so many EBF moms looking down on non EBF moms?

~♥Little Miss - posted on 05/22/2012

You ladies are welcome to start another thread on this issue, but this one is old so I am locking it up!

~Admin Little Miss~

Karen - posted on 05/15/2012

Ania, no one is arguing that EBF is EASY by any means! I EBF my son. The Problem is when EBF moms look down on other mothers and treat them as though they are Bad mothers because they don't or can't breastfeed! I was EBF and I STILL got ATTACKED by other mothers who EBF because I needed to be on a medication that I was told was not compatible with breastfeeding. I later learned it was okay, (the problem was with young infants 12lbs and less, since my son was larger than that, it wasn't a problem.) These women called me Selfish and told me I was POISONING my son by giving him formula! I don't give a sh*t how Demanding it is, and what a great mother it makes you feel like you are. It is WRONG to Degrade another mother because you are up on some "Holy than Thou" kick because you CHOSE to EBF and another mother didn't!

Ania - posted on 05/14/2012

Also....so many women can breastfeed but they encounter issues that they think they cannot overcome, the most popular - low milk supply, but if they had correct information... yes newborn babies sometimes for 3-4 months want to eat all the time and as long as you flow with it and constantly offer breast sometimes every 45 min and sometimes every 1.5 (I remember at 6 weeks I spend 3 hours nonstop just switching breasts because my son wanted to eat all the time and was fussy,) but I got the information - I read I did research and I knew this was normal, that's how EBF is much harder than bottles.....

Ania - posted on 05/14/2012

I thought about it....I was and I will be an EBF mom in a week again and I don't care anymore what any other woman does, but When I was new to motherhood I was extremely judgmental. I finally know why...Because exclusive breastfeeding is extremely demanding and hard....honestly much harder than the bottle, because it is all you and for weeks babies are stuck to you and you can barely take shower or eat something, there is no you anymore it is only baby....it is physically and emotionally exhausting and people who have no idea like to add their few cents and tell you just give her/him bottle, why don't you go on a date with your husband, happy mommy happy baby type of talk........and that is extremely annoying and makes EBF moms angry and they respond in a nasty way especially on internet

Debbie - posted on 05/13/2012

I use both i exclusive breast fed my too oldest and things have changed so I had to do both. I no people talked shit to me bout it all the time and it hurts. Sorry that someone made u feel that way too.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/24/2011

Karen, I am so sorry you went through that in this community. That is completely unacceptable. I know who you are talking about, and that person has been booted from CoM. She is actually the reason for me becoming the new Administrator for this community. There was only one Mod trying to run everything without any help. Things have changed in this community, and I hope you enjoy it for what it now is.

Ladies, this is why it is SOOOOOOO important to flag posts when you see a personal attack, or something you do not like. I don't mind a healthy debate in here every now and again. I mean, we are all different people with different opinions. It is bound to happen. But what happened in here concerning a TROLL member is also why I closed this community. You MUST be a member to even post. I have taken several precautions to make this community a safe place. Please feel free to let me know by flagging posts, or PM's to me if you are having issues.

Thank you!
Administrator ~Marina~

Ashley - posted on 12/23/2011

I really have no choice...I cant go without my medications for longer then the nine months of carrying my baby...its already unbarable as is..ugh

Monica - posted on 12/23/2011

I had no choice in the matter as my supply never met his demand, reason being, he was treated for sepsis and they had to put him on formula as he needed the hydration to expel the nasties in the antibiotics, at the end of that, I just didn't have enough milk for his appetite and after seeing him go through so much and finally thriving, I didn't have the heart to try and change it. I expressed BM and fed him as much as I could for 2 months, topping up with formula. It was time consuming and awful did beat myself up for months because of that! The worst thing is everybody asks ' are you breastfeeding?', for goodness sakes, why is it so important to ask that question, it just makes you feel even worse! :(

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 12/22/2011

Thank you Melinda and Karen.

I'm lucky I was able to breast feed my younger daughter. I couldn't breast feed my younger one and she is now a healthy happy and intelligent 52lb 7 year old (yeah I know skinny little thing! She's 51 inches tall so she's like a pound an inch!)

Melinda - posted on 12/22/2011

I had to bottle feed b/c my son would not latch. When I told other mothers I FF and not BF..they looked at me like I had 3 heads. I pumped and FF. My son is a healthy 40 lb 2.5 year old.

Karen - posted on 12/22/2011

Try this on for size. I have BF since day one for my son, he is now 7months and I am still EBF. Last month I thought I needed to wean because of a medication I needed to go on, and I posted on here seeking advice. I received insults, was told I was being selfish for weaning because "I" needed the medicine, I even had one mother call formula "poison!" I was shocked. I have EBF for this long and I had a Medical condition come up that I require daily medication for and yet I was treated like a terrible person. Some mothers take it WAY too far. Just because it is their choice to EBF, does not mean ALL moms have to EBF for the entire 24month + that is reccomended. I still EBF since I found out that it is okay to be on the medication I am on, but I will not forget those comments, and I will NEVER berate another mother for her choice to EBF or not!

Cj - posted on 12/11/2011

nice, kellie. however, i think it's natural for people to feel defensive, guilty, sad, etc. sometimes when rude people judge them or look down on them. and sometimes it helps teach rude people that their words and actions actually affect others. i've learned a lot from having even off-the-cuff semi-judgy comments leapt on. i try to be more careful now. saying hey, don't let 'em get to you, is nice but not always realistic. some of us have emotional responses to comments that make us feel inferior; we may not also want the burden of feeling like having an honest reaction to negative words is yet another way in which we're lamers.

one thing about donor milk: it can be incredibly expensive. we had it for the first five days (in hospital), then a friend donated for free for a couple weeks (we still had to start supplementing with formula). then she needed her own milk supply. we couldn't afford the donor milk.

in some cities, you can network with moms who might give you their milk, or check into community donor situations. i'd give La Leche a try for that.

by the way, i was so woeful and felt so bad about having to formula feed, but my son is extremely healthy, very advanced in verbal development and spatial skills, on schedule for everything else, and no, the formula companies didn't get to me.

it was awful feeling judged during those first months when i was desperately pumping and lactation consulting. negative and judgy internet comments *even in threads specifically for moms who can't breastfeed* really got to me. they were not water off a duck's back. some people cannot breastfeed. that's just life.

Kellie - posted on 12/11/2011

So SO true Alleah.

Judgments are 99% of the time about the Judger and not the Judgee anyways. Judgements are projections (again 99% of the time).

The Human Race needs to find and start using Tolerance, Compassion, Kindness and understanding.

Bernadette - posted on 12/11/2011

Well said Alleah

Alleah - posted on 12/11/2011

can I just point out that in the long run, FF, EBF, EXBF... who cares as long as that baby is fed? And as far as people getting all uppity about it-- water off the back, Momzilla. They can only make you feel bad about it if you allow them to. When someone tweaks your guilt button about BF or not, just take one look at your baby, and know that whatever the method, that baby gets fed, and that is absolutely all that matters.

Elissa - posted on 12/11/2011

I understand Mary, I suppose I've taken some comments with the wrong perspective. I apologize if I've come across in an ignorant way as I agree that BF is a very positive way to feed your child. I felt as though it was coming across as attacking FF. But, I'm not sure where my sudden burst of defensive came from earlier as I'm not a confrontational purpose, so I apologize if I've fed the fire[= It's good to hear different opinions though. Thank you for clarifying.

Mandy - posted on 12/10/2011

Good on you for still feeding your daughter.
I had an extreme over supply, milk would literally pour out at every feed and I didn't like to give them bottles.
Most mums have blood tests during pregnancy, so a simple medical record request would be enough to check for any kind of infection.

Mary - posted on 12/10/2011

ah, that's different. I thought you meant the untested ones over the net for cash. I wanted but couldn't donate to y hospital as I barely make enough for my daughter. one year and we're still feeding so yay me. :-) I do admire those that donate though. expressing is so time consuming.Good on you!

Mandy - posted on 12/10/2011

Mary I have donated milk to a NICU and my blood was tested for everything to ensure the milk was clear.
Privately through HM4HM and Eats on Feets, mothers are encouraged to ask donors for medical disclosure, in the majority of cases no money changes hands and they are nursing their own babies, so if their milk is good enough and healthy for their baby, I would feel comfortable accepting it for my child, in fact I have accepted milk from a close friend for my son once he had weaned from me so the milk wouldn't go to waste as her daughter wouldn't take a bottle.

Mary - posted on 12/10/2011

Mandy, you're strong. I couldn't bear my little one cuddling up to someone else. it'd break my heart. I'd give her formula in a heartbeat. I can't believe there's donor milk though. is it screened for illnesses and stuff?

Mandy - posted on 12/10/2011

Personally if for whatever reason couldn't breastfeed myself I would source donor milk or find a wet nurse. I personally would never give a baby of mine formula.

Mary - posted on 12/10/2011

Elissa, from what I've read, andcorrect me if I'm wrong, noone on this thread has said they are 'anti-formula'. Formula isexactly for this purpose - when something goes wrong and the child's life is at threat. It's great that your son had an alternative. My thoughts are that if more money were pumped into helping you when things did go wrong, then perhaps yu could have continued to breastfeed had you wanted to.



I couldn't give birth to my daughter naturally as my hormone levels did not go up sufficiently to let me reach true labour. I am thankful everyday for modern medicine that they were able to cut me open and yank her out and she and I were both okay. however, I don't promote c-sections or call them the norm. I don't beat myself up about not giving birth naturally either. The important thing is that my little girl is here and she's alive because of it.



In my opinion, this is the same with BF and FF. we should be grateful when formula can be used as the alternative, but accept that BF is the normal, natural thing. the same way money has been pumped into helping women give birth naturally with as much choice, help and information as possible, the same should be pumped into helping them feed their little babies.



I would never put a mum down for FF no matter what their reason...even a silly one....it's not my place. We do what we have to for our babies after al. I just hate that the formula companies did so much marketing that it's become the norm in some places.

Elissa - posted on 12/10/2011

I don't mean to get in on what's becoming a rather hostile debate. But, I sure would have loved to be able to BF more than I could. And I'll be the first to admit that maybe I could have tried harder. But when what little milk I did have dried up, what does this anti-formula person I saw above suggest I feed my son???? He's been eating it for almost five months. He's still alive, he's growing steadily, developing at a wonderful pace, and meeting every milestone on schedule. If it's not broken, don't fix it[=

Just some food for thought[=

Cj - posted on 12/01/2011

Sara, this is a relevant topic to many of us, regardless of any history in other topics that you or Meggy might have. Please respect those of us who are interested in the topic and don't derail the discussion with nitpicky "meta" conversations. Perhaps that could be taken to private messages or email.

Vicki - posted on 11/28/2011

I don't think anyone is trying to force those who can't breastfeed to do so, that would be impossible! Less than half of infants in australia are still being breastfed at 6 months, that's a lot more than 5%!

There's a % who can't, there's a % who genuinely don't want to and there's a large % who want to feed but due to lack of support, pressure from family, healthcare professionals or society in general give up early. This is the situation that sucks.

I certainly don't think I'm superior in any way for breastfeeding as long as I have. I consider myself lucky. Lucky to have had a breastfeeding mother who was also a breastfeeding counsellor, so it was normalised for me from an early age. Lucky to have supportive family and partner, lucky to have no problems beyond initial soreness. Lucky to know to access resources from the ABA to find that a baby who didn't want to stop feeding at 6 weeks did not mean low supply.

I can understand how someone who has come from a bottle feeding family, with parents and partner hostile towards the idea of breastfeeding, a dr saying you milk isn't good enough and a need to return to work at 12 weeks with an unsupportive employer, it would be extremely hard.

Brooke - posted on 11/28/2011

I am actually interested in how the government is supposed to help to diminish the 5% of woman who CAN'T bf? I was on vitamins, extra Carb diet, 2litres of water a day and to top it off medication. I was expressing, constantly feeding etc and at 13 weeks my milk had vanished!

Vicki - posted on 11/28/2011

Interesting to look at what is more supported. Meggy when I was in hospital the first day or so was all about breastfeeding. It should be, I was at a baby-friendly accredited hospital. Even there with the various midwives the difference in advice is sooo confusing, especially if you haven't done much research or had any exposure to breastfeeding before. On my third day I was threatened by a midwife that if my baby didn't start feeding better he would be given formula. I already knew he was improving and waking up from the jaundice so I told her where to go (well not exactly, a bit more politely!). Someone who had read less may have assumed at that stage that their breasts were failing them and gone with formula. NOT the woman's fault, but the crappy advice and threats, just from one midwife even though some of the others were ok.

After hospital you read stories in the newspaper about people saying 'it's ok to breastfeed, as long as you're discreet'. Sounds ok? No. It assumes there is something that is sinful and needs covering up, makes it more difficult to leave the home and have any kind of life.

At a large baby and children's expo here there was a stand from the Australian Breastfeeding Association and also stands from two different formula companies. The ABA stand was the best they could afford - a small stand tucked in a corner, with fantastic information, dedicated volunteers but nothing fancy. The formula companies had the largest stands - flashing lights, balloons, showbags, videos, paid staff rather than volunteers etc etc. They weren't officially advertising infant formula (not allowed here) but toddler formula, with the same logo & colours as the infant formula, just with 'toddler' in small letters. Which feeding method has more support? The statistics speak for themselves as rates drop off dramatically in the days, weeks and early months after a birth.

Bottle feeding mothers are not looked down on by the mainstream (a few posts in forums are really a drop in the ocean compared to the wider public), they are courted by the largest multinationals. Women may be encouraged to breastfeed at first, but are often looked at like freaks, even by healthcare providers when they follow the WHO recommendations of 2 years and beyond. Bottles are seen as a symbol of babyhood whereas breasts are seen as playgrounds for men. Women who are having difficulties are often told to switch to formula rather than offered suitable support and advice and are then left feeling like failures when it was not their fault at all.

In my ideal world formula would be available, possibly free and prescribed in some way so there is no profit incentive but breastfeeding properly and fully accepted as the normal way to feed your baby. Dream on hey!

Mary - posted on 11/28/2011

Hope - you can read whatever you want into my statement.. you are stating exactly what I DON'T think.



A woman can be pro BF but, due to circumstances, be forecd to FF; you can be pro FF but support a friend who BF. why do you feel one has to take a stand one way or the other?



however, one cannot run away from the biology of our bodies.



I can only say what I feel so whatever you read into my statements, I can do nothing about *shrug*

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 11/28/2011

I'm from New York and back there I had a lot of support for breastfeeding and no one batted an eye if I breastfed in public. It's luckily been the same here in BC. However I heard that it's illegal to breastfeed in public in Alberta. Nice eh?



Honestly with my first baby I felt more pressure to breastfeed than to use formula and the nurse practitioner at my daughter's pediatrician just about made it known that she didn't approve of my bottle feeding my older daughter. Trust me I would've loved to try that. But my ex was a complete douche and emotionally I couldn't handle everything with my first. I'm lucky that everything was different with my 2nd daughter and I can breastfeed her without too many issues. But I'm not going to fault someone for doing what they feel is best



I'm with Marina, I believe that formula being available is important. Heck I'm adopted and this was in the 80's before people could sell breastmilk on the internet (something I wouldn't do or buy) if my mom didn't have formula what else would she have fed myself then my brother? And what about other women who have health conditions that prohibit them from breastfeeding? Should they really be osticized for a choice?



While I do think that in some areas (oddly not the ones I'm from or live in because I have seen a few moms back in Western NY feeding their toddlers at the zoo) we should work for breast feeding to be made as normal as bottle feeding. I won't force it on people or feed my baby in public just to try and make a statement.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/28/2011

I am not arguing to argue. I think formula being available as a feeding option to infants is important. Yes it should be held to the highest standards, but I am not going to ostracize any women for choosing formula over breast.

Hope - posted on 11/28/2011

Mary, you seem to be contradictory at best in your entire argument. Here you say: "Mothers should be united against formula COMPANIES and demand better, or against governments to put in place better strategies to tackle that 5%. instead of giving out free formula (in Ireland) invest in lactation consultants and pro breastfeedingprograms to help all mothers instead of letting greedy corporations in." THEN you go to say :"I am very pro whatever-works-for-mommy-and-baby"- so which one is it? You are bringing the wrong argument to the wrong place. You can either be against formula or for it and it seems to me you are on the fence because of your repulsed attitude towards big conglomerates. Make a decision....and how bout you stop? lol you post information like that about greedy corporations and you're telling someone else to stop? Jeez. Take a look at yourself before telling others what not to do. I think you're making the issue an even bigger one with a post like that. It's not about what's better or what's right/wrong. It's about an informed decision by mommy and what's best for her. Why all this back and forth about what's better, it should be about what's RIGHT FOR YOU. That's my two cents.

Mary - posted on 11/28/2011

Marina, it seems to me that you ARE starting an argument with Mandy that makes no sense. If you agree that it is each mother's choice, that some make infored, medical decisions while some make informed, emotional decisions, and that we all do the best we can for our children, why the last post? I agree with Mandy, Mothers should be united against formula COMPANIES and demand better, or against governments to put in place better strategies to tackle that 5%. instead of giving out free formula (in Ireland) invest in lactation consultants and pro breastfeedingprograms to help all mothers instead of letting greedy corporations in. I am very pro whatever-works-for-mommy-and-baby, but we would not have evolved a way to feed our babies for thousands of years , then produce a better alternative within 100 years. the majority of the woerld (asia, south america Africa, Australia) breastfeed, so the west can too.



I wish moms wuld just stop "I'm better than you" tactics and help each other.

Mandy - posted on 11/27/2011

Then I'm sorry, I'm not sure why you are disagreeing with me. I don't know what you are saying.
To me breastfeeding should be seen as the norm, the default setting for mothers and babies. But I know that will never be the case. In the UK they pay lip service and spout "breast is best" but they don't back it up with support. Too many of our mothers (as in my mum) and grandmothers where lied to by HCP's about formula and breastfeeding, so they don't have the knowledge to support modern mums with feeding their babies, so alot of this generation is on their own, we don't have the community knowledge that our great great grandmothers would have had.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/27/2011

No I don't think the information should be hidden...it should be made readily available. And yes, formula should be made the best it can posibly be. I am no fool....I know it is not. Hell, most of the food that we consume as adults is terrible...even fruits and veggies loaded with pesticides, and gmo.

I knew you would bring up stats. So think of this....if 5% of women cannot BF, that is 5 out of one hundred. That is 50 out of 1000. That is 500 out of 100,000. That is alot of women. That also does not include women that have emotional issues with having their breasts touched for various reasons, and just in general uncomfortable with BFing.

I have done a lot of research on formula. This is not the first time this conversation has come up in here. I may not be as fluent as you are in it admittedly, but I will not shame a mother for her choice. I am not implying you are either.

Mandy - posted on 11/27/2011

So because of that do you think we should hide the truth? For some reason infant feeding seems to be the only area in life where people don't want to read the most up to date research.
Unfortunately you can't get away from the facts that bottle feeding has inherent risks. But instead of going to the companies and demanding better, SOME mothers seem to take their anger out on other mothers or on researchers.
Do you know the actual percentage of woman who cannot physically or medically breast? It's less than 5% of ALL women. In Western society formula is seen as normal and in fact by some sections of society as the only way to feed a baby, instead of as the back up if breastfeeding doesn't work for whatever reason, as it was originally intended for.
Formula companies don't see mothers and babies, they see £ and $ signs. Powdered formula isn't sterile, there are recalls every year because of contamination, it is the only food product that is not quality controlled by the government in any country. Basically the companies are a law unto themselves, and make their product as cheaply as possible. If you have the chance you should look up Baby Milk Action, it will really open your eyes to how formula companies work.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/27/2011

That is good to hear. You made it sound like only if a person fully researched it, and made the decision...that is the only way it is ok. BUT, some women due physically or medically cannot BF, so doing all that research on how bad formula is...well it is going to make them feel terrible for having to do it....and other women cannot BF due to emotional reasons. So, doing all that research in the long run can be painful.

Mandy - posted on 11/27/2011

If you are happy with decision then it isn't anyone else's business.
I didn't do any research before I bf my 1st but the more I read during feeding her, the more I knew I had made the right decision for us. But I chose to go looking for the information, that was my choice.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/27/2011

I was never once pressured by companies, hospitals or anyone. I BF and FF my first, and did not do any research. I did what was right for me and my son. Just curious if you judge those circumstances. I was fully capable of BF and chose to do both.

Mandy - posted on 11/27/2011

Out of interest, why do you ask?
I try not to judge anyone, but I am human and not perfect, so I may wonder how they could read the same thing as me but come to a different decision.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/27/2011

Got it. Would you judge that decision if it led to FF though?

Mandy - posted on 11/27/2011

I'm for informed choice. Nothing to do with approval. If a mother after reading all the risks of formula feeding decides to still go ahead then that is her choice.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/27/2011

Sooooooooo.......what does that mean Mandy.....do you not approve of mothers making the choice to ff over bf?

Mandy - posted on 11/27/2011

Oh please.
I am hostile towards Formula COMPANIES not other mums. Companies lie to mums and make them feel like a inferior product is better.
It is extremely hard to judge the "tone" from a post on a screen.

Bernadette - posted on 11/27/2011

I BF my daughter until she was 17 months. I'd had enough of it long before then but she hadn't so I kept going. I did try to cut her back a bit, but then found I just couldn't say no to her when she wanted it so badly. She refused a bottle, just simply hated them. I am proud that I stuck with it for so long too. From about 6 months onwards I kept getting people saying "are you STILL breastfeeding?" This really surprised me, to say the least. I mean seriously, people are surprised that I continued beyond 6 months? That's pretty young! I had always intended to go to about 12 months but by then she showed no signs of stopping so we just kept going. I was 2 months pregnant again by the time she finally stopped and I was starting to get worried, wondering how I was going to wean her off it before the new baby arrived. I didn't want to leave it too late so that she wouldn't think she was being forced to stop to make way for the new model! But two months in, she just decided she'd had enough. I don't know if it's that the pregnancy changed the milk or if it's just that she'd had enough by then. At that stage, she was only feeding once a day and it was always in the middle of the night. When she woke up, she wouldn't go to sleep without it. Then one night she just didn't wake up. I didn't think too much of it, since occassionally she wouldn't. But after 3 nights in a row I realised she was done. I don't know if she stopped waking up because she no longer needed the feed, or if she stopped feeding because she stopped waking up! My son has been EBF until very recently. I tried him on solids at about 5 1/2 months but he wasn't interested at all. At 6 1/2 months I was told he was underweight and I needed to get him eating solids. For the next 3 or 4 weeks we tried and tried and he just refused. I mean, big screaming fits every time we tried. So I just let him play with it. Then suddenly, one day about a week ago he suddenly decided that he loved food (seriously, overnight he changed his tune completely - one day he was screaming about it, the next he was a complete pig with it - just so happened to be the same day he started crawling) so I guess despite the feeding attempts, you could say he was EBF until 7 1/2 months. And now, since he has started solids he seems to have lost interest in BF altogether! He is still having a few a day, but he's distracted and pulls off and looks around then decides he's done after a few minutes. I'm definitely not ready for him to stop yet. I still want to go until about 12 months, but I guess if he's not keen he's not keen. Hopefully he'll get back into it though since it's only been a few days since he's cut right back. He won't have a bottle either, and won't really even drink water from a sippy cup so he's now a bit constipated.

Anyway, well away from the topic but yes, I am proud that I breastfed. I also wish sometimes that we could have bottle fed as well. I have not had much time off from my kids at all, since it's hard to even go anywhere for a couple of hours when no one else can feed them. Also, like Marina, I am not someone who likes to BF in very public areas. Most of the places we go that are too crowded though tend to have pretty good parents facilities. And places that aren't too crowded I'm not too concerned since it's not too hard to cover up. Still, sometimes I wish i could have done both. But definitely proud that I did it. And intend to to it again with my next one, should I be blessed enough to have more...

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/27/2011

nope, I think you have been plenty clear.

Bernadette - posted on 11/27/2011

yes, I definitely agree that some things do get very heated and mean things exactly how they say them. I was simply saying that my previous comment, about the people who SEEM to me to be looking down on others - well, I hope that I haven't misinterpreted what they've written. I'm sure that there are times when I have. Just as I'm sure people have misinterpreted what I've said at times too. I do try not to be harsh or judgemental but I'm sure that sometimes, what I think I've written in a way that clearly says what I wanted to say may not be so clear to other people. Hence why I have tried to clarify what I've written. And hope that I haven't made it sound even worse..... :)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/27/2011

@ Bernadette "The other thing is too, in writing it can be easy to take things out of context as there is no voice expression so of course I could be reading into it wrong. I think that's one reason so many arguments happen on here - people take things way out of context because things that are meant to sound helpful can sound sarcastic or insulting, whereas if they were said in person with the intended expression it would probably be taken very differently. "

You are right, but some people can get really heated about this kind of debate. Some people mean things EXACTLY how they write them.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/27/2011

And it is ok to debate in here.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/27/2011

Ok, so here is my opinion on the matter. BF is HARD. It is something to be proud of. I think mothers who talk about it sounding proud SHOULD be proud. It is time consuming, and literally takes over your life. I was done BFing when my daughter was like 10 months. She was not. We went until she was 15 months. I had to plan everything around her feeding. I did NOT like BFing in public due to my OWN comfort level. I think any BF ing mom should be proud of what they have done.

NOW, that is NOT to diminish the difficulty of formula feeding. I also BF my son until he was 7 months (he is older than my daughter....her stint of 15 months came 4 years later). I started supplementing for him when I went back to work. I also pumped, but I also gave him formula. It is a pain in the ass to make bottles, but they are convenient when you are out and about when you don't like to BF in public like me.

I have seen MANY of these threads in many forums. I think it is important to remember....it doesn't really matter in the long run if you FF or EXB. The only thing that matters is if your child is fed and loved. I don't love my daughter more than my son because I EXB her, and I don't think any other mother who has not BF loves there child any less than EXB mothers.

It is ok to be proud to BF. It is ok not to care if you FF or BF. In the long run, all that matters is the beautiful baby that you get to look at while you are feeding them.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/27/2011

Extended BF usually goes past 1 year. I EBF my daughter until she was 15 months. it was NOT by choice. She wouldn't take anything else. She did eat solids, but would not take formula or milk. I extended BF, but when I hear that, I think more like 2 and up....but really I think it is past 1 year and up.