1st Deployment :(

Brittanie - posted on 08/06/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My husband is leaving for his first deployment in a few weeks and my emotions are going crazy! At times just the thought of being apart brings me to tears, at other times I look forward to having some space. We've been married for 4 years (yesterday), our marriage is very strong and my husband is honestly my best friend. So I feel horrible for looking forward to him being gone! Is this normal? Also We own our own home and are financially stable, but we just got to our new base and it is on the other side of the country from our family, so my husband and I though it would be best for our daughter and me to move home with my family. So now I feel like I going back in time and mooching off my parents, even though it was their idea. We've also been trying to have another baby for about 6 months, without any luck and I am getting very upset about that because I feel like we are running out of time. I feel like everything is just piling up and I'm going to break down, but at the same time I know I have to be strong for our daughter and my husband. I know I'm a little all over the place but that is exactly how I'm feeling. I'd really appreciate some advice from anyone who knows what I'm going through, it's so hard to talk to my hubby about this. Thanks ~ Britt

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Brittanie - posted on 09/08/2010

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Thank you so much for all the encouragement and support! I am happy to announce that the day before my hubby left we found out that we are expecting our second child! We are beyond excited and we’re so thankful that God has granted us this blessing!
So far thing are going OK. I’m still getting settled into my parent’s house, but it has been great to have all the support from both of our families. I’ve been able to talk to my hubby on a regular basis so far, but have only got to use Skype twice, he is still in pre-deployment training, so we hope that once he gets to his base we will be able to use it more regularly!
As for now the hardest thing to deal with is my two year old who is just completely confused! She has been acting out a little and I just can’t seem to get her back on to her schedule, so that’s my goal for the week. Well that’s all for now, I’ll keep you updated.
Thanks Again!~ Britt

Amanda - posted on 09/08/2010

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Oh honey, this is something we know could happen, yet even though they are doing something heroic, we would rather them be heroic right here where we are near. Military wives are the strongest women I know and you are no different, being that you are a military wife. My husband is honestly my best friend as well and last year he was deployed, for six months, but felt more like a year. I honestly forced myself to get involved in the "waiting families" or deployed families events and support groups. It was the hardest thing ever to go the first time, but then after, I was eager to show up again for more.. and knowing we can support those that felt like their marriage was not as strong with their loved one away, was a relief on myself and motivating knowing that I could be their for others and take my mind off my own best friend, husband, soldier. Also, plan monthly, if not weekly care packages for your honey. His work should be sending them out for you, but if not, you send them... Also, if you do not have webcam, get one, because you can see your honey and talk to him at the same time on Skype.. Also, look into any pre-deployment meetings, retreats, and what not... that is definitely something we did and we literally did it a week before he left.. It just helped us talk about things we held back on because we did not want to worry each other... we even got to speak some vows to each other for the deployment and also wrote each other a letter that we could not read till after we said our "not goodbyes", but "see you soon" "DD" Deployment Day. And just remember that there are so many women that are either going through it now, about to go through it, or have been through it. There are even some that go through it all the time. You need to look to these women for strength, encouragement, motivation, and advice. You can also look to me, because although it was only six months, it was very challenging for me as well, but I got through it and you will too! Before you know it, he will be back in your arms!

It could be better for you to be with your family.. I went with mine for the first two months only and then had to be forced to move back for the school season since my oldest was starting pre-school, so that was four months on my own, but I honestly learned so much and became the strong person I am today. I started going to an awesome community church and was also given strength and cleanse from that as well. Sorry so long... I just want to be there for you.. even if I am in another place. By the way, where are you?? I'm in Florida.

Don't stress about the baby... everything happens for a reason... maybe if you stop trying and just focus on being together, it could happen on its own.. I've heard of that happening as well. Do not stress the baby though, because you have enough going on right now that needs to have your attention, so you do not regret not doing all these other things before he deploys.

Yeah and it is going to continue to be hard to talk to your husband because they are trained to stay focused and we need them to be.. you know? So you are doing the right thing turning to us... look foe the things I was telling you about earlier and also, if you ever want to email me, I respond quicker to that than this... email me anytime. mandaalvarado@aol.com.

God bless and be the strong woman I know you are... after all, you are a military wife... there is no harder job than that, but god picks the best of the best for the job! :)

Allannis - posted on 08/10/2010

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my husbands first deployment i was carring our first kid he left for tranning and i was excited i got to go home and see my friends and family and a month later he came home for two days be for he deployed and thats when i got preganet we didnt know till i was 2 months along, so i wanted the space and i wanted him there but when he left we were just married for a month!! but it was nice spending time with my mom and she loved seeing my belly grow, so im sure ur mom will love seeeing her grand baby grow :) just make sure u have a compuer so u can facebook and yahoo and skype eachother every chance u get

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