Complete personality change-HELP!

Karen - posted on 02/08/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My little is girl is 2 yr 8 months. For the last month she has been having fits of rage and crying, and screaming. She refuses to get dressed in the am not wanting to change her diaper and if i do get clothes on or her diaper, she rips everything off right away. She runs around screaming and yelling. I don't understand her anger. Yes, i know they are temper tantrums but i can't get her ready to take her older brother to school. She refuses to get in her car seat and i try to force her in and that is not easy! I am not enjoying the power struggle these days! I am getting extremely stressed as her sudden change in temperment has affected our lives in all areas. I cancel my work because i am so frazzled and down that i just can't handle anything else. She is getting her molars and heard they become cranky but this seems extreme! She refuses to have naps and she ends up in bed with mom and dad at night when she was sleeping in her bed before. I don't believe in spanking but i swatted her on the bum this am without any effect. Is her teeth causing this whole personality change? How to manage this behavior? I need help!!!

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Sarah - posted on 03/03/2010

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You might want to try 123 Magic (http://www.amazon.ca/1-2-3-Magic-Effecti...).

I am an expecting first time mom, but in my field (psychology) this is probably the most highly regarded discipline program for kids. My partner and I have the book (and companion book for kids) and plan on using it. I have heard *nothing* but rave reviews... also know many parents who've used it and their kids are all well behaved. : )

Cindy - posted on 02/10/2010

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Wow are you sure you're not in my house?
I quit my job to fix the issue. Our problem was extreme, and we could totally blame Cameron's stress on the Babysitter from Hell. I had to start from scratch with my little guy. Before I go further - are you sure everything is ok at your sitter? Are you using a daycare? If anything - get your daughter a complete physical exam, ask her doc to check for sex assult - it's very scarey - but you need to know for sure. It would explain the Hell you are going through in a heartbeat.

If you don't have the sitter issue... I do see some things that can be a cause. You had a boy first - and she's your princess. Boys are so different then girls. Totally different brains. Your Princess is Tired, and she tested her limits.

I'm so sorry Mom, but she had a few tiny victories, and now she feels communication is "yell and scream I get my way." You are mentally stressed and tired.

You need to get her back on schedual. You need to get her communicating properly.
And you need as many "Good Girl" moments as you can get.
The screaming has to stop. When she's running around and screaming - take her by the hand and put her in a Highchair. Get down to her level and ask her what is wrong. If she doesn't tell you - tell her babies scream, you're not a baby. and sit beside her for 5 mins. Try to say nothing, but make sure she's safe and can't hurt herself.
When she does talk, listen. IF she wanted a red shirt and purple pants, say "ok sweetie"
She is old enough for Potty training - no you are not a bad mom for waiting this long. You can try 3 day potty training .com - works pretty slick. And it might change the relationship you have right now.

You might think I am crazy. But I found my son strapped in a highchair and put infront of a big screen TV with a bowl full of ketsup, while the sitter was outside weeding her garden. I did a suprise visit. Suprise. It was no wonder he was terrified to go there. The family went through a tramatic shift the next week - the sitter ended up in a womens shelter after her hubby beat her.

So, my point. Make sure it's your home that is the issue, that you can fix. If it's your child care - you can change that too.
In no time your princess will be ready for school, hopefully all this stress will be gone.

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Maybe try to let her pick out her own clothes? My daughter won't let me dress her (i think it's a girl thing lol) Don't react when she's flipping out, but when she's good really praise her! Say things like "mommy likes it when your good, you were so good in the store today!) I would tell my husband when he got home "Oh she was so good at the store today!) Positive reinforcement works better than the negative. She may just want to stay home and by canceling work you may be sending her the message that if she scream hard and loud enough that you'll give in. When it comes to 2 year olds its basically a "battle of the wills" you have to be firm and persistent. Let her scream and cry, just walk away and ignore her as much as you can. Same as the bed situation, just pick her up and put her back in bed. I know it's a pain in the middle of the night especially but if you take the time to do it and just put up with it for a week or 2 then its over.

My 3 1/2 year old was terrible when she was 2 and shes great now. But i have a 21 month old starting up now lol So now i have to go through it all again UGGG! Most of the time it's a stage that they grow out of. They can get pretty grouchy when their teeth come in but i think its more of a combination of the terrible 2's and teething. Just hang in there, it'll get better!

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