Alternative Lifestyles.

Jessika - posted on 01/16/2009

Roxane,

I, too, am a unique mom with a unique lifestyle. I knew from a very early age that monogamy wasn't something I was capable of even though I tried desperately to be monogamous (hell, I even got married!). I've finally met someone who completely understands my need to be free and love whomever I choose. We have discussed polyamourous lifestyles but I am very concerned with the efffect it wil have on my 4 year old son. Any suggestions?

*keep in mind that I live in the Deep South, and while my ex-husband and father to my child is from upstate NY he is incredibly narrow minded*

Any advice is welcome!

Thanks,

Jess

Rebecca - posted on 01/05/2009

o wow! i just came in here thinking i'm going to post that i'm a poly parent and see if there are other poly parents out there who want to talk.

LOL!

there are so many times i feel like i would like to know how other people handle poly parenting.

we have between 4 and 6 adults with 2 to 3 kids at any one time in our house. my daughter is suffering from too long school holiday boredom and all her friends being away or visiting with relatives. she's been playing up, rude and obnoxious. the parents have been discussing lots of possible strategies for dealing with the behaviour.

last night her godfather commented: looking at it from her perspective, it must be kak having four adults getting on her case all the time and calling her into line, instead of just two... !

have you encountered this issue, and if so how did you deal with it?

just to put you in the picture: my husband and i live with our two daughters. my bi-lover is the father of the second daughter (age 2 - read toddler attempts at settting the agenda and toilet training) and he plays with the eldest daughter's (5 year old intellectually advanced, emotional rollercoaster) gay godfather, and my husband also has two other "relationships" with women, one of which is sexual and the other asexual single mother of a little one.

i really think poly parenting needs to be more highlighted in poly discussion, because i find it an incredibly challenging model. we've already come up against ignorance in the form of people assuming this is bad for our children and therefore we should be "discreet" (i.e closeted) and not let our children know too much about it. when they start primary school, i'm sure there's going to be some friction around it in terms of other kids saying nasty things. but fortunately multi-parent families in the case of general society are not that strange divorce rates being what they are) -- just multi-parent families with parents who all live together (part time) are not that common.

would love to share experiences.

R
xx