Have you spent the night away from your little one yet?

Melissa - posted on 11/08/2008 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I'm curious as to if you have left your child(ren) for the night and if so, how old was he/she? My daughter is 7 months old and i have not left her yet. We co-sleep, exclusively breast feed, and I never let her cry it out. It really comes down to thinking we're not ready to spend the night or a weekend apart yet, but I get a lot of grief from people about it. It can be bothersome, but I try to let it go because their pressure isn't going to make me change my mind about it. But I have been thinking about it more and more. We will also be going to Hawaii for a week in February and I plan to take Marley (she'll be 10 months then) and I was/am very excited to go on a big vacation with her, but it seems like everyone, including my husband, thinks its a bad idea and think I'm crazy for wanting to take her. This part does get annoying!
Any thoughts or advice??

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Emily - posted on 01/01/2009

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When my second was born, my oldest was just barely a year. We didn't have anyone to watch her (my MIL couldn't come down until the next day) so we got special permission to have her spend the night with us in the hospital.

When our third was born, we were living with my parents. We left for the birth center early in the morning. Baby was born at 3:30am (total labor of 2 1/2 hours) and we were back home again by 10pm that night. (She was born New Year's Eve and we had to be out of the birth center before midnight to avoid paying a second deductible.)

All our future babies will be planned homebirths, which will also help avoid separation from our littlest ones.

Kandi - posted on 01/01/2009

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Our youngest is 2 years old and we have not left her yet...I am worried as I need to be away from her in February when our 3rd child is born and I have never spent the night away from her. Our oldest is 12 and has only been away for the night maybe 6-8 times? He is autistic though and being away from mom and dad is hard for him.

Mari - posted on 11/25/2008

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My little girl is 14 months and the longest I have left her is maybe 4 hours. You do what feels right to you and what you feel will be best for her as well. :) If you are used to wearing her then I don't see it being too inconvenient.

Juanita - posted on 11/23/2008

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We left our girls overnight for the first time when they were 2 and 3 yrs old. I had a panic attack, but the girls LOVED spending the night with their Abuela. Since then, they've stayed with my mom or my MIL a handful of times over the past 2 years (seriously... maybe 5 times in all).



As for vacations, we plan our trips so that we can take them with us. I'd love to take a romantic vacation with my hubby in a couple years when our girls are older, but until then, it's all about the family as a whole. They're now 3 and 4, and co-sleep with us... but that's never a problem since both the hubby & I come from co-sleeping families (so the girls always sleep with whichever mama has 'em).

Lorry - posted on 11/23/2008

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Dagmar is only 10.5 weeks old and I've put zero thought into spending any time at all away from her at this point.

We're taking our daughter to the States for two weeks next month (she'll be 14 weeks old) and to Italy for two weeks in April. Maybe it's because nearly everyone I know is an expat or in an international relationship, but I know tons of people who take their little ones on trips and it would never occur to any of us not to! I know they are too young to really remember it at this point, but it's still great for them to experience all those new sights, sounds, and smells. You are NOT crazy! They are, for suggesting you deprive your babe of such an awesome opportunity.

Emily - posted on 11/19/2008

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We've only left our oldest two overnight once... DD#1 was almost 2 and DD#2 was 11 months. We chose to leave them with their grandparents while we celebrated our anniversary at a hotel literally 5 minutes away from them. DD#1 did fine, but DD#2, who was (and still is) breastfeeding refused the milk I had left for her and had a rough night and finally co-slept with her grandfather that night.

We've never left our youngest (currently 10 1/2 months old) and rarely leave her with sitters for dates even. (The older two -currently 3 1/2 and 2 1/2- do great with aunts watching them, but DD#3 has a rough time, so we just take her with us.)

DD#3 was born at a birth center early in the morning after a super fast labor, and I was home again that evening... so the older two didn't even spend a night away from us for that.

I would stick to doing what feels best for you and your family. I, personally, would have a rough time leaving my kids for a week... I'd want them there to experience Hawaii with me... but maybe that's just me. ;-)

Rachael - posted on 11/18/2008

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I wouldnt worry about it. My first night away from my daughter was at 19 months and even then she struggled a bit. However I am also the first to admit she is a horrible sleeper and always has been. (Still and she is 4) so her struggling at that age is no different as to if I try to have a night away now sometimes. When I traveled before that and at least half the time now I take her with me, she loves it and is a great trooper at it. Do what works for you.

Candice - posted on 11/16/2008

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By a night do you mean overnight? or just an evening?

My youngest will be 3 in Feburary and I have not left her overnight yet. My hubby and I have gone on a few dates at night (to the movies and such) but never been gone more than a few hours at night.



If you are exclusively breastfeeding your baby then you have to take her with you on Vacation. You could pump and freeze for it but if you are wanting to nurse past a year old.. then you'd have to take the pump with you and you could be spending much of your vaca time in your hotel room pumping (as we all know babies are the world's best breast pump and can get what they need 5 times faster than any type of pump)

Which would you rather? Enjoying your vacation with your baby.. or spending most of it in a hotel room pumping every 2 hours just to keep up your supply for baby back home?

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When my daughter was three months old, I had to leave her for a week. I had a conference that I had to work and choose not to take her along. Since I was working non-stop while I was there I didn't really have time to focus on how much I missed her.

I pumped while I was there, and the hotel was really nice about letting me put my milk in their freezer. It didn't make it home well - so I unfortunately - ended up having to throw it out. That was a major bummer.

My boss was willing to let me take my daughter, but it would have made it impossible to work. She would have been miserable going, so keeping her with my husband and on her regular schedule actually worked out really well. She actually slept better and was very happy while I was gone.

We also co-sleep with her, but since then, we have left her with my mother a few nights and she actually does really *really* well. I learned to realize that my daughter can get by without me - and does just fine.

I would weigh the pros and cons (ie having to travel with a baby and carry all that stuff vs. the experience that could be really fun and the ability to keep nursing). But don't feel pressured - make the best decision for both you and your baby.

Kateryn - posted on 11/09/2008

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stick to what you are comfortable with and try to take it as it comes. :) my son was probably a little under a year when i left him with my mother for a night just to have a break. i co slept (he is now in a cot as im expecting a 2nd though he is allowed to join us in the morning, im still breastfeeding and loving it and i tend to cop alot for that as well ultimately though it is up to what you are comfortable with there may come a time when you are ready to have her looked after for a night just so you can have a break but until then stick to what is working for you and don't let others rush you you are doing a brilliant job :) good luck with it all

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