Toddler Tantrums

Sherree - posted on 01/19/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Could anyone offer advice or encouragement on how to handle toddler tantrums? My 15 month old daughter has started throwing them for her dad and I left right and centre over the past 2 weeks. Sometimes we don't even know what they're about. But often they are over taking away something she can't have, or even just making a stern tone with her like "you have to sit down in the bathtub". Sometimes she makes herself frustrated if she can't make a toy do something she wants it to and she throws a tantrum. She is still breastfeeding so whenever she has a tantrum she immediately wants to nurse to get herself over it. I don't know what to feel about that. I had hoped she wouldn't need to nurse so often by this age. If I don't let her and try to distract her with other things she'll get more mad. If her dad tries to take her to help me, that is instant disaster. She will pull the worst kind of fit, you'd think we were torturing her. I find it embarrassing when she always wants to nurse but it is the best thing to calm her down. Am I reinforcing her tantrums by a "reward"? At this age should we be being more consistent ignoring her tantrums by letting her kick and scream on the floor? Is it ok to talk soothingly to her and nurse her or should we ignore her? She also will come crying to me if her dad tries to help her or soothe her, which is hurtful to him. Am I reinforcing her detachment to him by nursing her? Help!

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Marcy - posted on 01/27/2010

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Sherree-

We started doing this when our kiddo was about 2 yrs old and it works wonders for our family. When our little dude is pulling a fit we stop everything, turn off the tv, put away the toys and we very calmly get down at his level and tell him what he is doing wrong and that until he wants to behave like a nice young man we aren't going to do anything else. The first time we did this he cried for about 15 minutes then he was mad for about another 10 minutes and then he came over and told me he was ready to be a nice boy. We have handled it this way ever since. Now it takes him a few minutes and he comes right over to me and we can talk about what happened. Granted he is 3 1/2 years old so he comprehends more...its tough but we have a scream free household and its what works for us.



BTW, my son still nurses as well but I find that he looks for this when he is really tired or hurt himself playing...its more comfort. When he is in "the mood" its not what he wants.

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