Help with potty training

Gemma - posted on 01/12/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

57

24

23

Hi,

My son is 2 years 9months old, he will use the potty and toilet to do a wee and is wearing his 'big boy pants' during the day with exception to nap time, however he will not do his poo anywhere other than his nappy. If we don't give him his nappy he just holds on and won't go. Any advice greatfully recieved!



Thanks, Gem

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kellie - posted on 01/12/2009

179

43

40

Oh Gem this seems to be a popular problem and a frustrating one.  I have to say that I do feel like I'm making headway so hopefully this will be helpful.  I first switched my son James (same age as your handsome fella) to underwear when he was 22 months.  He did great with the pee but wouldn't poo in the potty.  In May, 5 months later, I went back to nappies because I couldn't clean poo out of undies anymore.  On Dec. 26 I decided to give it another whirl since I had some time off work and let's face it, our boys are getting to big for nappies.  I can barely lift mine up to change him anymore.  I made the switch back to undies on Dec. 26 and it was the same thing.  All the pee was going in the potty but the poo was going in his pants if he chose to go at all.  My son instantly became constipated because he refused to go poo.  I called the Doc and they said I could give him some Miralax once a day to help.  It helped but he still got constipated again.  When he did go it was in his pants or a pull up.  I put a pull up on in him in desperation a couple times so that he would just get the poo out of his system.  So after this kept happening I jumped on to a potty training group like this one and got some tips.  Obviously the couple times he had pooped in the potty we'd made a huge deal and rewarded him but he obviously didn't care because he still went in his pants.  One of the things I read was that you need to find out what they really like and tell him he can have it when he makes yuckies.  For my son that was watching TV or a movie.  The second thing I read that I hadn't been doing was to have them help you clean up the mess.  That I hadn't really thought of.  So, Friday night I got home from work and of couse there was a poopy pair of undies waiting for me.  I took my son into the bathroom and told him he needed to help me clean them up.  He was devestated and completely disgusted.  He didn't help much but I think I made my point.  I got him to spray a little cleaner because he likes to spray stuff.  Then Sat morning after breakfast around 8:30 am he started with the moaning, "my tummy hurts, my butt hurts."  He'd ask to go potty but wouldn't do anything.  I could tell he had to go but he wouldn't go in his pants or the potty.  This went on for hrs. Since I knew he had to go I also told him that he couldn't watch TV until he made yuckies in the potty.  Around 11 am I made him take a warm bath because I was getting worried he was constipated again.  While in the bath he screamed in devestation that he had to go potty and it was because he was starting to poop.  I quickly got him on the potty and he sat there for several minutes and then said, "all done."  With excitement I look in the potty thinking this is it and there was nothing there.  So I get him dressed and he starts playing and then says again, "I have to go potty."  So I set him on the potty.  I always listen outside the door and I knew he was going.  You cannot imagine the excitement.  After 3 1/2 hrs of running back and forth to the potty he finally went poop on the potty.  Sunday after dinner it happened again.  He started with the whole back and forth thing where he says he has to go and then nothing happens so I turned off the movie and said he couldn't watch it until he got the yuckies out.  Instantly he said, "I have to go potty."  I set him on and he was pushing the poop out before I even got to the door.  So with all that said, as mean as it sounds I think you have to withhold something he loves to get him to go.  James loves his movies and I guess he'd do anything including poop on the potty to watch them.  These boys are old enough that they know what they're doing.  I know for certain that James has some type of emotional attachment to his poo that he's afraid to let it into the potty but that attachment is not as big as the one to his movie.  Your son sounds very smart.  If he actually goes to get the nappy to go.  He obviously knows when it's coming.  I would make him put the poo in the potty out of the nappy.   You could try telling him the nappies are all gone and that he has to go in the potty and then if he goes in his undies make him help clean it.   Another thing I read was to cut a whole in the nappy and make them sit on the potty with the nappy on to get used to it.   I really hope this helps.  I don't know if James is going to keep going on the potty or not but I sure hope so.  He's at daycare today so I don't know what's going to happen.  I'll try and update you.  Oh and congrats on the baby.  I bet it's even harder doing all this with a little one around. 

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

11 Comments

View replies by

Lisa - posted on 03/19/2009

37

56

1

Keep up the hard work ladies, I went thru all of this with my son, and after about 4 weeks of holding on and doing it in his night nappy.something suddenly clicked. And he turned to me about 6 weeks ago that its better to go on the toilet and the accidents have pretty much stopped. Creche' can be hard but they have a reward system, there with special activities, so they are great too. Dont get me wrong we occasionally get up with one in the morning when he hasnt got his nappy off fast enough but that is the least of my worries. Good luck to you all, once it clicks life is plain sailing again.

Meredith - posted on 03/18/2009

3

9

0

My little boy does the same thing.  Pees in the potty every time, every day but poops in his underwear almost within minutes of going down for his nap.   I'm just hoping he get tired of having poopy underwear and the promise of rewards does its job!

Melissa - posted on 02/10/2009

15

14

0

mine little boy was quite good, but he did go though that phase, when he pooed in his nappy or his pants he saw that i was not to happy with him i didnt smack him or tell him off i said like kieran thats dirty you are a big boy now, he doesnt like me being unhappy with him so after a few weeks he'd start goin going poo in his potty. also it helps if you know when they will because sometimes you might notice its a certain part of the day. so when he does give him loads of kisses and hugs and phrase they thrive of that

Crystal - posted on 01/29/2009

2

27

0

Hi Ladies, just thought I would share my experience with my son. (Boys and why they wont poo in the potty??) First of all, I was always told to not use pull-ups to train but underwear because they can feel when they start to pee a little bit in them. I tried multiple times when he showed interest to get the potty training going. But the lesson I learned for my son and I was that it was going to really have to be his choice to do it. (I know that might sound like the boy was in charge but let me finish) Well it was just after Halloween and we started in with Christmas decorations. One day I was changing his poopy diaper and I just said to him that Santa only brings little boys and girls presents who wear underwear. Not thinking he would even care, well I thought wrong. As I was trying to put on a new diaper he started throwing a huge fit and said he wanted to wear big boy underwear, well so I let him put them on. From there he would either tell me or I would ask him constantly for a week if he needed to go potty. The first week I also put a pull-up on him for naps and at nighttime. I would also encourage him to go potty right before those times. He woke up dry for a week so I decided to put the pull-ups away. He has been so good and when he did start to slip I would just tell him Santa would be sad and wouldnt bring presents... well he did get lots of presents and Christmas is over and he has very few accidents if any at all. His name for his poo is "Poo Snakes" and let me tell you this... its worked for him. Try telling your sons that they have to make poo snakes in the toilet and then they get a chocolate after. That was my trick. Good luck to all and hope this helps someone. I know it can be VERY frustrating at times.

Gemma - posted on 01/27/2009

57

24

23

Hi Kellie, Alex seems to be getting the hang of things now, although we have had a couple of times where he has hung on all day and as soon as he has a bedtime nappy on he goes, but we are getting there. Glad James is doing well and it's a huge step for him to feel confident enough to go at day care. Well done James!

J - posted on 01/25/2009

50

32

6

Just snooping here. I am very glad to read your tips, Kellie. My little guy has gone poo in the potty, so I know he is capable, but won't tell me when he needs to go (very frustrating!). I have tried setting a timer for every 1/2 hour, but sometimes he pees before the 1/2 hour is up. I am going to try what you said. Thanks alot!

Kellie - posted on 01/20/2009

179

43

40

I think that James is finally potty trained.  It has been 6 days since he pooped his pants.  He has even gone at daycare once.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  How's yours doing?

Kellie - posted on 01/20/2009

179

43

40

I think that James is finally potty trained.  It has been 6 days since he pooped his pants.  He has even gone at daycare once.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  How's yours doing?

Gemma - posted on 01/15/2009

57

24

23

I hope after yesterdays events at day care and having to clean his own underwear James will start using the potty for you. We have made some positive progress, I told Alex he wasn't having a nappy when he wanted a poo and he told me he would do it in his pants! I explained to him if he did this then he would have to wash to poo out of them and mummy would not be helping, i also told him he can either go on his potty or get tummy ache, he chose to go on his potty whilst looking at a book (and sitting next to me)! I was amazed I really thought we would struggle with this but he has been on his potty for 2 days in a row now. Finger crossed for you that James will soon get the hang of this, my health visitor explained it is such a huge psychological barrier to go from pooping in a nappy to the potty and they'll do it when they are ready.

Kellie - posted on 01/14/2009

179

43

40

Just and update on James.  He pooped his pants at daycare yesterday (Tuesday) :(  I used his hand to work the soap into the undies and told him he couldn't watch TV or Movies until he made yuckies in the potty.  Let's hope today goes better.  He cried the whole time I was using him to scrub the potties.  The question is, will he get it?  The soap opera continues. 

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms