How bad is it to be cuddleing my toddler till he falls asleep EVERY NIGHT

Adrian - posted on 09/25/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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Me and my husband put our 2 year old to bed every night and lay and sing a few songs and once he has finished his little cuppy of milk we cuddle with him till he falls asleep. I first tried to fight my husband telling him that this will never let him be independent and learn to go to sleep on his own but I lost. I have to admit I enjoy the time with them know but it has to stop and I don't know how to get the two of them to grow up lol. Plus Ethan is a crappy sleeper waking up most nights at least once which in turn makes me end up in his room again till he falls asleep again. I don't want the hubby up all night cuz he has to work so there I am. Help me break this bad habit please.

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Wendy - posted on 12/14/2009

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I know what you mean! However, the grow-up plan was 'tough love' on my part. I had my hubby get up with me... and the longer it took to put him back down the more the 'big boy' understood that HE had to break the cycle. We also didn't have much choice when we had twins follow... Your time is not the same.
It's great to snuggle if you have the time... I love my cuddle time. I just had to move it to share with book time. (I now read more books to get more lap time with him)
It also helped when daddy got to see how nicely nap time was when all I had to do was snap my fingers, give him a glass of water to gulp, to the toilet for a try, and then I said, "It's two o'clock." Our little guy didn't fuss, cry, or raise a stink. I set him in his bed, he asked for the sheet and Ribbit "dute-dutes" and he said, "I'm gonna grow up big and tall for mama! I love you- kiss for later. Night." blowing me a kiss.
You should also trust your instincs... you know your family the best...

Amanda - posted on 12/13/2009

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I also have the problem but I stopped giving my daughter naps during the day and it helps her fall asleep much quicker so I can spend time with my husband at night

Adrian - posted on 12/10/2009

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Thank you every one for your input. Our family does enjoy cuddling and someday we will wine our selves. I was almost in tears on how many of you responded that I should just enjoy it while I can. Your right they do grow fast how precious this time is. We are all so lucky to have our little ones.

Paula - posted on 12/10/2009

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i do this with my 2 year old i get in bed with him until he is asleep. i also used to do this with my 4 year old but now he has grown out of it and seems fine with me getting in my 2 year olds bed. he stays in his bed until sometime in the night and gets in my bed but i wouldnt change it for the world my partner moans a bit but nevermind lol. i also have a 1 year old girl and i put her in her cot and just leave her and she goes to sleep on her own, you never make the same mistake a third time lol the more kids you have the more wiser you become. just enjoy it your little un will soon get to the age where he wants to go to bed on his own. i noticed a difference with my 4 year old when he started school.

Eva - posted on 12/08/2009

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I co-sleep with both my kids. they go right to sleep. I see nothing wrong with what ou are doing. Your child will become MORE imdependent with this. You are showing him that you will be there for him no matter what and someday he will be comfortable enough to NOT NEED you. he's only 2, still a baby. Why force him to grwo up? he's not ready.

Zhanna - posted on 12/08/2009

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Adrian, I do the same with my little boys, I find it helps them relax and be assured that I am always there for them. They even have a huge bed next to ours so when either wakes up at night, I just lull them back to sleep right away. In my book, there is nothing wrong with this, kids are safe, I'm not running around the house all night...besides they will be quite independent soon enough!

Agnes - posted on 12/07/2009

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Me and my com-law pack our baby ever night and sing a song.We take turns packing our baby. Then we put our baby on the bed and sing a song and pray with our baby. I love my baby's and my kids. Mom's have to laydown with your baby and cuddle with them. Use the toy they have for them to sleep or hear for them to sleep. That's how I put my baby sleep. Get them to feed a bottle or drink out of a cup just like a milk to put them to sleep. All my kids grow up from packing. I really miss breast feed my baby's and Social Service take that away from Mom's if they are taking away. I really miss that feeling. In the future will get it back. Please don't let anybody take your kids away from you they are really special to you.

Erin - posted on 12/07/2009

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I lay Abby(daughter) in her bed and we pray..say I love you and I promptly sit right down next to her bed and rub her back. I think that its ok but I fear what will happen in the long run. I try to leave but she will peek out of her door and say "mommy i wanna lay wich u!" I have to give in! So I say its perfectly fine!!!

Jessica - posted on 12/03/2009

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Hmm I have no advise... I do the same only I made the HUGE misstake of letting her sleep with me... first it was for convinience then it just got where it was more for me... knowing I had her close by and blah blah... NOW that she's 2 1/2 I don't know how to get her to go to bed alone. I mean she will but she has to be dead tired. So good luck!! sometimes it takes practice!

Elizabeth - posted on 12/03/2009

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you can try the super nanny method..... I've started doing this with my lil girl who prefers to nurse to sleep. I nurse her through story time (this would be when your son drink his milk). Then I lay her down, sit on the floor and watch my feet. Yes she cries and fusses. But I only react when its to put her back in bed. No eye contact. But She knows I'm there and she's not alone. The 1st night took 45 min for her to fall asleep. We've been doing this for 2 weeks and are down to 15 min.



Now the "proper" way is to move a little farther from the bed each night. But I decided that staying in the same place works just as well. I figure another week and I wont be sitting in there for long. Then I'll start moving away.



Like others have said if works enjoy the quality time... They grow way too fast. The only reason I've started doing this with my girl, is b/c some nights her falling asleep at the boob is like a cat nap, and when I lay her down she's wakes up full of energy. That is not good for us.

Samantha - posted on 11/27/2009

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Quoting Jessa:

i know ALOT of mothers that would not agree with me here but if its becoming such an issue for you and your partner i would suggest controlled crying. Place him in bed and do all that other stuff, but once hes finished his milk instead of cuddling him to sleep, give him "one big extra special cuddle" each say goodnight and walk out. I think we ALL know what his reaction is going to be. He is going to cry and cry and make you feel really bad but you have to take a deep breath, go outside have a drink with hubby and let him go for it.. if hes still crying after about 10 mins, go back in. give him another big hug and kiss tell him its time for bed and time for him to start being a big boy and sleeping on his own. and just keep doing that. i cant tell you how long doing this will take. it may take a couple days, it may take a couple weeks but it should work. Its worked for my 2 1/2 son and 1 1/2 daughter.



i agree with this. However, if you are comfortable with your routine now, there is no rule saying you have to change that. But, you say he gets up at night and you have to do the same thing that does get tiring, so i would do what jessa said as if you don't want to be having to rock him to sleep all hours of the night then he needs to learn to be able to put himself to sleep or to self sooth.

Jessica - posted on 11/20/2009

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i know ALOT of mothers that would not agree with me here but if its becoming such an issue for you and your partner i would suggest controlled crying. Place him in bed and do all that other stuff, but once hes finished his milk instead of cuddling him to sleep, give him "one big extra special cuddle" each say goodnight and walk out. I think we ALL know what his reaction is going to be. He is going to cry and cry and make you feel really bad but you have to take a deep breath, go outside have a drink with hubby and let him go for it.. if hes still crying after about 10 mins, go back in. give him another big hug and kiss tell him its time for bed and time for him to start being a big boy and sleeping on his own. and just keep doing that. i cant tell you how long doing this will take. it may take a couple days, it may take a couple weeks but it should work. Its worked for my 2 1/2 son and 1 1/2 daughter.

Heather - posted on 11/20/2009

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I think that you and the hubby have a great routine & that you are getting in incredible quality time! I wouldn't change a thing!

Marli - posted on 09/27/2009

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I know what you are going through seeing as I have the same problem. At this stage I'm just enjoying the time with my two gils Mia and Natalie and don't want to put any extra pressure on where it's not needed seeing as Mia has started school and she's struggeling a bit with abandonment issues. So for now everything els just have to stay the same. Good Luck to you

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