Sibling April Birthday Issues

Jeannette - posted on 01/15/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )

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So when I found out I was pregnant with my third child shortly my seconds first birthday I was a little hesitant - especially since there ws a 12 year gap in between my second and my first!



To make matters worse, the due date for the new baby was on the current babies second birthday! - to make matters forever worse, the baby wound up being born 4 days BEFORE the older sisters birthday... so now i'm sunk.



I had issues to begin with - the feeling of Emily ( the now middle child) feeling left out, cheating her of being the baby - losing the focus of everone's attention before it was time to and the reprocussions this would have on her budding personality.



Emily's second birthday was spent without mommy. I wound up having a c-section and had to remain in hospital till after Emily's birthday had come and went. I was devastated - bless her heart, she could have cared less... Her third birthday however wasn't as easy going. Emily's third birthday meant Eva's 1st - 4 days BEFORE.



As we prepared for their birthdays, I decided NOT to throw the giant first birthday party for Eva like we had done for Emily because I didn't want Emily feeling like she was missing out on something when her birthday came and she would have had just a cake and some party hats. So instead, we had a small cake with only our family for the baby and even at that Emily was very upset because she knew her birthday was coming and could'nt understand why Eva was getting presents and cake and she wasn't. "Birthday week" as we called it, because a bit much. We had two seperate parties at home, and a party at Mommy& Me..presents on each day, presents when visitors came, presents in the mail...By the end of the week, Emily was convinced that every day would be someone's birthday and started getting aggitated when I tried to explain to her that it was all over (thankfully!) Well, I had my hands full with her for DAYS! Keeping in mind that this was a three year old at the time I hope that the older she gets the easier (hopefully) it will be to deal with.



Now I am on the fence as to wether or not to combine their birthdays. I don't want either one feeling like they're missing out on their own special day where they are the focus and only them...and I certainly don't want a repeat of last years "never ending birthday" but at the same time, I feel like If I don't do something Emily will always feel like the second fiddle...

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Hayley - posted on 01/31/2009

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i wouldnt combine them when your 3 year old goes to school but while she's at home still, it would be easier on you. only because it's like twins, they can lose their identity when they are grouped/stuck together all the time. always in the same clothes, the same class, the same group of friends. They need their own space and time and of course in a twin situation the birthday party will be the one big one while they are young but as they get older they'll at least have their individual friends. at least while they are young you can make it one party, and then she goes to school you could have one childs birthday the weekend before her birthday and the middle childs birthday the weekend after her birthday...separating them a bit. giving them their own days. by the time emily is school aged, she'll understand it more too. just an idea anyway. good luck

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