4 in April and has a temper

DDs - posted on 03/24/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

4

0

0

I'm new to the site and am hoping someone has some insight for me. I have a loving son who will be 4 in April. He loves to give hugs and kisses to his family. He's VERY proper, uses napkin when he eats, never spills or crumbs anywhere (unlike his 6 year old sister), turns off the TV on his own once he's done watching etc. He's also very sensitive. If he accidentally hurts us while playing, he gets worried and even cries for us. Now the problem is his temper. He would play with his sister but if he doesn't like something that she's doing, he tries to tell her to stop, if she doesn't listen, he ends up either tackling or jumping on her. Today, I took him to a birthday party that they were both invited to. I thought he was doing great until the end of the party. There was this wild, spoiled almost 6 year old child who was throwing pillows at him so I see him throwing it back at the boy while laughing. I thought he was handling it well. I was distracted for literally 3 seconds and looked the other way, all of the sudden the other boy was on the floor crying. (Remember that this other boy is at least 1 1/2 years older and bigger than him) Others were telling me that my son tackled him after so the boy fell on the floor and hit his head. Luckily he's ok but it's quite scary to think that if I take my eyes off of him for 3 seconds and someone doesn't listen to his request to stop, he ends up hurting another child. We've tried talking to him and trying to make him understand that his actions hurt people and to be gentle, etc. but it doesn't seem to work. Does anyone have any ideas on how to handle this?

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

5 Comments

View replies by

DDs - posted on 03/25/2012

4

0

0

Thank you to both of you for your advices.



Michelle, you may be on to something about loss of control rather than anger issues. Everyone calls him Mr. Proper so when he thinks something is "wrong" then he has to fix it. If words doesn't work, then he has to get them to listen by force. I will see if this approach works.

Thanks!

Michelle - posted on 03/25/2012

2,191

23

1087

Give him a better way of dealing with his frustration and work with him on understanding that he is only 4 and not everyone is going to listen to him even if he is telling them the right way to behave. It doesn't really sound like he is doing it out of anger sounds to me like he has an issue with loss of control. He sees a situation he does not think is right and when he tries to correct it and the other child doesn't listen to his words he then uses the only other thing he has his hands to fix his problems. Teach him that when he is feeling this way to come talk to mommy, you are not always going to agree with him and go make the other child do what he wants but at least you will be able to explain to him why. Hope this helps.

Helen - posted on 03/25/2012

224

3

39

learn him what the words angry ect mean and the right time to use them my 6yr old used to tell me she hates me when she was angry (yes my 6yr is a rather naughty angry child lol well was ) because i used to get so upset as hate is such a strong word i tought her to say im angry with you right now mummy instead of her screamin i hate you and sometimes kicked me she now tells me how she feels angry upset ect then storms off to her room to calm down then comes down wen calm and we have a chat and both talk over the issue maybe try teaching him more out a word to express his anger ?????

DDs - posted on 03/25/2012

4

0

0

Thank you Helen for your quick response. The thing is, he's normally very mellow and loving. The only time he does act out is when his buttons are pushed and no one listened when he says stop. My kids normally get along pretty well. My concern is not really the fighting but more of his temper. How do I teach him not to get physical when someone doesn't listen to him? We do not believe in spanking, we're never physical with him so we're not sure where he gets the idea to solve his problems by tackling people. I need to find a way to get my almost 4 year old to think before he acts out on his anger.

Helen - posted on 03/25/2012

224

3

39

my kids 8yr 6yr 4yr and 3yr are sometimes terrible for fighting depending on the situation ect i do it bk for example my 6yr had a really big issue with biting and pinching so one day after she bit my eldest really badly it drew blood i nipped her bk in the same spot i know it sounds really nasty but she drew blood so i bit bk not half as hard just enough for her to feel a lil bit of discomfort she hasnt bit since if my others fight i stop then bend down to there height and say do you want mummy to do that to you ? they answer no of course so i ask y they reply cos it will hurt me mummy so i then explain that they just hurt their sibling normally they cry so i know they are sorry next step they ave to say sorry to whoever they hurt and give them a cuddle and be freinds just yesterday my 6yr old hurt my eldest and refused to say sorry and cuddle her so she was placed on naughty step till she was ready to say sorry took 15mins but in the end she did not sure if this will help you but thought id share how i handle fighting ect good luck and hope you handle it all soon x

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms