Anyone else's April '08 baby in a "Whiney Stage"?

Stacey - posted on 02/20/2010 ( 42 moms have responded )

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Devon has been experiencing a whiney stage for a few weeks now, it's becoming hard on my nerves as we have just brought home a newborn...how does everyone handle the whining at this age? Need suggestions! He doesn't seem to understand "no whining" when we say that to him...or even "use your words" "talk nice" etc. etc.
Help!!

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Kerry - posted on 03/10/2010

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My son is starting to throw tantrums. When we are at home we put him in his room and let him throw his fit and tell him when he wants to be a big boy he and talk he can come out. If we can not get him to stop in public we end up leaving and putting him in time out. I get most of it for some reason. He does not throw tempertantrums with his father.

Heather - posted on 03/09/2010

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I'm with you!! Lydia is almost unmanageable in public and very whinny at home, I also have a 4 month old so my nerves seem run a little thin, I hope to use some of the suggestions you received here...

Shandell - posted on 03/07/2010

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My son Jahmari will be 2 yrs old on April 1st and the tantrums, the whining and crying is driving me insane. I am bout to crack up. This is an everyday thing. What am I too do when he will not stop and i cannot go out or go to bathroom without him for 5 min?????????????? Suggestions PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

[deleted account]

We have been having this problem, and I find it leads to something different than what she is actually whining about. She is hungry or thirsty and is whining because she wants to color or she is tired and whining because she wants to watch Elmo. I just try different things until I figure out what the problem is.

Jody - posted on 03/04/2010

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UGH! I am going through the same thing with my daughter. It drives us crazy too. We try not to focus on it.. When she starts to whine we just tell her we can't understand what she wants and that she needs to use her big girl words. Sometimes it works sometimes not so well, I guess we all just have to grin and bear it, It seems to be the age... Good luck!

Jonquil - posted on 03/03/2010

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When my son gets whiney I give him "quiet time". This is kind of like time out but with different wording. I tell him that I can see he's upset right now so I'm going to let him have some quiet time to himself and I'll come back when he feels better. This took time - at first, he would throw a tantrum for as long as an hour. Now though he usually will be upset for a few minutes and then calms right down. Once he's done I come back and everything is fine again. If he gets worse though it may be a sign he's not feeling well or is tired.

Candy - posted on 03/03/2010

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This stage can be very hard and nerve recking, but you will get through, By telling Devon to stop whinning he probably won't understand. He maybe having a hard time ajusting with a new baby at home, because he is not the baby anymore. My oldest had a hard time to and now we are just getting through it but we still have are moments. Maybe have him stay busy doing things that he normally don't do at home or in other places outside the house.

Stephanie - posted on 03/03/2010

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ok let me first tell u about my daughter born april 16th 2 days after my birthday n acts jus like me (hardheaded)! well she talks alot n know words n she used to whine all day about ne thing sumtimes about nothin at all! butwhat i did was find out the reasons why she was whiney but worked sumtimes n whiney is jus a way of them communicating but what u have do is teach them to talk by not saying anything to them bare thru it 4 bout 2 weeks but when they are done whiney they will mostly likely find solution to there problem on there on own or cum 2 u and when they cum to u show sum affection n then make them used there words!dats it eventually they will figure out that whiney its working only when they use there words, its like the saying action speak lounder words. instead continuely saying use ur words but show how that useing there words actually works n whineying all day doesnt.another good thang that works good is whine you son is doing good always praise make it seem like he won an oscar everytime and limit the number of time u say NO,its works more than u knoe. trust me it took my daughter 2 weeks to get over it but now da only tyme i hear her whine is when its tyme 4 bedtime which is fine with me!

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I'd say the whining has more to do with the newborn than anything. My oldest tends to be the more whiny of my two and it's greatly affected by how much mommy time he gets. Give him some extra time and try to involve him in stuff with the baby as much as possible. And no matter what, remember, it's just a phase. It won't last forever!

Crystie - posted on 03/02/2010

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Oh yes! Cooper is going through the whiney, if I don't get exactly what I want RIGHT now I am going to throw a massive hissy fit stage. Strange, I don't remember my twin girls going through this stage. They did but not to this extreme. I'm not sure if it's a "boy thing".

Stacey - posted on 03/02/2010

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Thanks sooo much for all your comments and advice! Circle of Moms is such a great place to go to!

I'm definately putting to use the advice, and using time-out and praising what he says nicely and does nicely...fingers crossed that works! We're planning a trip home with both kids in a month and are really hoping that we can nip this in the butt before we're annoyed with the little man infront of everyone! lol

Cassana - posted on 03/02/2010

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It's a nightmare, My elder son went through the same stage and now my younger son is doing the same. It's testing to say the least but they soon grow out of it. Try not to give him too much attention when he's doing this. He'll soon stop when he realises it doesn't get him any attention. x

Leighla - posted on 03/01/2010

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Oh my, yes. I thought it was just her. Apparently not, lol. She has her days when she's really cuddly though.

Rhonda - posted on 02/28/2010

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I know the feeling. Mine whiney too and that's how it seems it's going to be! Can't get it out of him and ignoring it doesn't work, the noise drives me dilly. Good luck!

Brittany - posted on 02/27/2010

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I'm in the same boat! Just a few weeks about Brooke figured out the art of whining. I can't stand it! I usually just ignore her when she talks in a whiney voice and I know she doesn't really NEED anything. Usually she goes through a time period where she keeps on whining about everything everytime I turn around, so I put her down for a nap. In a way her whining is a cue that its time to go to bed. Otherwise, if i know she's not tired and she whines i just tell her "no, don't whine. what do you want?" and if she keeps on i just ignore it. But a good way to get her to talk normally is get excited and say the word she's whining and try to get her to repeat me in my tone of voice "drink? you want a drink?!" and most of the time (after a minute or two she'll get it). I know its exponentially worse with another new baby in the house and little sleep :/ hang in there.

Chris - posted on 02/27/2010

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Yes! My daughter has been going through this, for her I think it's several things, one we just brought home twins 8 weeks ago, she see's what crying and fussing does for the boys, so she's trying it and secondly she frustrated, she's trying to communicate with words and tell us what she wants, but she's not quite there, so I've been saying to her, so me what you want, that is working really well, she's a lot less whiney, I just tell myself. it's temporary :)

Megan - posted on 02/27/2010

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Keep in mind he might be whiney because you have a newborn. Cut out some Devon-only time everyday and see if that helps. My second son went thru a whining phase and I just said, "I'm sorry. I can't understand you. Please try again with a clear voice." If he really wanted to be heard, he figured out how to talk correctly.

Nancy - posted on 02/27/2010

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Hazel's comment is true and works.
Advice from a friend of mine that has plummetted the conflict -- if I have to intervene over the toy, it is mine. Up it goes on the fridge until the next day. 3 times in a row, then they got it. almost nothing since between 3 yr old and almost 2 boys.
SLEEP, SLEEP, more SLEEP. The answer is more sleep for a large portion of children from babies to teens. Never underestimate this intervention.
When they are REALLY driving me crazy and whining constantly, I tell them that they must need to go back to bed. Last weekend I just popped the toddler back in the crib at about 8:30. Heard about it for a minute then he was out untll 11:30. Earlier bedtime to mke up for the wierd naptime. Since then when I suggest he needs to go back to bed because he's whining, he says, no mommy, happy, and he quits whining. If he fails, and I know he's not hungry, he gets the gentle "poor guy, here, take a minute in your crib with the snuggly and the blanket," and I get to walk away and regain my sanity on the other side of the house. I sometimes stick a book or two in there with him.

Erna - posted on 02/26/2010

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congrats for the new member of your family...

i'm with you all co posters because i feel the same thing with my son.i think for him nothing works my jeez...he whines for everything...im low in blood pressure, but when he start whining, i feel like all my blood is all the way to my head..lol.. but what can we do they're just a little kids that don't understands fully yet..patience patience lots of patience is all we need...lol..i think mostly kids are whiner though.

Michelle - posted on 02/26/2010

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OMG All my son does is cry and whinge and It's driving me insane, Nothing need happen to him and he starts crying and i'm very quickly losing the plot, I have a 9month old and 2 older boys and I don't have the patience for sulking, I have no suggestions as to how to stop it, But I'd love to hear some

Shari - posted on 02/26/2010

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OMG....I couldn't believe when I saw this b/c my little girl is also majorly whiny right now. She gets easily frustrated also. She's our youngest so right now she and big brother (2 yrs. older) are fighting an awful lot! They always want the same toy and fight for our attention as well. I think she's whiny because she wants to communicate more, but doesn't always have the skills to tell us exactly what she wants. Although, she talks pretty well for her age, she still can't completely communicate her wants and needs so she gets frustrated.
Your son is probably trying to adjust to a major change in his life with the addition of new baby to the family. He probably is feeling a little bit threatened, even though I'm sure you guys give him lots of attention, it's normal for children to feel jealous. Try ignoring the undesirable behavior and really praising him when he uses his big boy voice. This is probably a stage he will outgrow, but teaching him now that whining doesn't get him extra attention will be a great lesson for later on in childhood and the teenage years. Good luck!

Hazel - posted on 02/26/2010

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supernanny timeout technique all the way! i have a mat i put my son on. he will really push it al day for like one or 2 days and as long as i am consistent with the punishment and dont give in he is a diamond for several days afterwards. its as if he pushes his boundaries to see if i will cave with the timeouts and then realises i wont so behaves... then tries it again just to make sure lol! the whining is sooo agitating, im 39+2 with next one... so trying to get on top of his behaviour.

giving loads of praise, always talking to him all the time and completly ignoring the bad behaviour helps loads too. hope that helps :) xx

Jennifer - posted on 02/26/2010

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I was talking with an at-home daycare provider this week and she said she believes at this age, they're just not old enough to process (some) negative statements and can't really understand "don't _____ " or "you can't ____ " they only hear "______". I've been trying to change the way I talk to our guy (by explaining without using the negatives) and can't believe the difference it's made this week!!! Also, we nipped the whining in the bud by saying "use your words please, I can't understand you" - he pouts silently for a few seconds and then I try to figure out what he wants/we move on.

Liz - posted on 02/26/2010

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Congratulations on your newborn, I think its likely to be a combination of his age and the fact that theres a new little person in the house taking up what he sees as his mummies time :0) I think the advice given here is pretty on the mark. good luck xx

Jessica - posted on 02/25/2010

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I choose to ignore all behavior that is whiney slash negative... whatever! I have no tolerance for that... and I don't even have a newborn! I think if you choose to give it zero attention, he will come around. He's also adjusting to a newbie in the house so that is also difficult for him. All I know is, every time I ignore this type of behavior, she eventually comes to her senses and gives up.

Leeann - posted on 02/25/2010

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oh god are we ever!!!!!!!!!! i dont have much advice for you sorry just know you are not alone. hang in there

Eva - posted on 02/25/2010

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My 22 month old whines, and has a tantrum about once a week. And yes it's nerving. I try not to give in to the whine or tantrum, I tell her to calm down and then tell me what she wants. I think it's her way of expressing her impatience with me and her frustation at not being fully understood.

Michele - posted on 02/25/2010

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Congrats on your newborn! Josie is almost 2 now and has a 7 month old little sis. She doesn't whine yet, but has been having these terrible temper tantrums. Otherwise she is a very sociable, well adjusted person...I wonder if cabin fever is setting in. I put her in her crib when she has these episodes, and come back in when she's calmed down. We have always talked to her like she's a regular person and I think this makes her wonder why she can't do whatever she likes. this too shall pass... :)

Satyne - posted on 02/24/2010

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Oh man it must be the moon and stars aligning because my little Guy Matt is seriously driving me insane with his WHINING....I completely understand why some animals eat their young---LOL..... We have started timeouts and getting down to his level and telling him to start using his words, let's be a BIG boy...and praise him when he Doesn't whine....It's starting to work...I think it's the age I think he gets frustrated because I believe he knows WHAT he wants but doesn't have the vocabulary yet to express it and also a bit of impatience (of course he's a BOY so there isn't MUCH patience!!) Glad to see we're NOT alone!!!

Angela - posted on 02/24/2010

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Yea whining comes with the age. It's really hard when you're with in-laws and your child starts whining. Everyone has their own opinion on raising your child.

Melissa - posted on 02/24/2010

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Yeah, usually I just tell my little one, "no whining" and then I ask what she wants and I have to eliminate one by one. It's a long path, but works. But then, there are some times, she'll just whine even after having a nap.

Angela - posted on 02/24/2010

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A lot of times when my son starts whining it's beacuse he needs a nap or there's something he wants. Most of the time he wants something. In order for him to get what he wants I make him say a simple one or two word phrase. It helps except when we are in a big group. He knows that if he starts whining he will get the attention he wants. I'm still working on that one.

Melissa - posted on 02/24/2010

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Geez, I have no answers. But I can empathize. My almost two year old is going through the same phase. And I agree about the hard on the nerves. Part of is just wanting to put in her day care or school half day just to get a freakin' break.
*The main thing is that this is the phase where the child is looking for a little control over there life and predictablity. So just indulge them until it passes. (Don't we all want that). This is just a phase. They get so frustrated when they can't communicate fully.

Angel - posted on 02/24/2010

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omg my daughter does nothin but whine.. for anything and everything.. so i think its normal lol

Jennifer - posted on 02/23/2010

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Most of the time it's because he wants me to grab him something but if it's something he can not have I just ignore it.

Candice - posted on 02/23/2010

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OH GOD YES!. i can't stand whining! i'm trying to treat it like i would treat a swear word. i tell her i don't like it and put her in time out. that, or totally ignore it. but got it's like nails on a chalkboard!

Hush - posted on 02/23/2010

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I noticed tonight i was saying' see you get things faster when you use words and don't whine".

Jeannie - posted on 02/22/2010

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What I do is put her in her room and tell her to stay in there until she is done crying. Most of the time she will come back out still crying, so I just put her back in there and tell her to stop crying so she can come play with mommy.
I don't have another baby so, this advice may not be as helpful though.

Anna - posted on 02/22/2010

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My son is going through the same thing. We give him time outs! That seems to be helpmg but I don't think it will be for long!

Lisa - posted on 02/22/2010

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YES! It drives me up the wall! I try not to call attention to the whining and remind my daughter that she needs to use her words like a big girl. It isn't always successful, but it does help. I would show him how to talk like a big boy by saying, "say it like this" and saying what he wants to say. At first, if it is even slightly less whiny, then give him what he wants. Once he learns he can't get anywhere with a whiny voice, he will (hopefully) cut down on it. Also, it might be realted to having a new baby and this is how he gets attention. Try to spend time with just him when the baby is asleep or content in the bouncy seat or swing. Easier said than done, I'm sure. :) Hang in there!

Hush - posted on 02/22/2010

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I've had the whiney for the past two weeks what i worked out that worked was praising everything she did good (everything over three days) saying i like when she does.... Or mummy appreciates when you....thats very good... etc and trying to ignore when she was doing something wrong, (i still had to say no or dangerous or edge)

I have had a better result doing this. I even gave her mini mashmellow (cake decoration) for being a good girl for the weekend.

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