Attitude Already

Michelle - posted on 03/20/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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My daughter has developed an attitude already. It was cute the first couple of times she did it, but not so much anymore. It's hard to discipline her, b/c I feel she doesn't understand "no", but I keep on saying it over and over and over again. Hopefully she'll grow out of it and is just testing the waters right now.

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Michelle - posted on 03/25/2009

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Yes, I've started planning for her party.  Her birthday is on the 18th.  I'm really excited, but I can't believe she'll be 1 already.  Where did the year go?

Bret - posted on 03/25/2009

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My son was born 4/14/08 too! So I can totally sympathize with you ladies...he has just discovered his voice and screams all the time, and when you tell him to leave something alone or that he cant go somewhere he wants to (since he is already walking really well) he will pout and throw a fit and sit down and cry till you come get him. I found that ignoring the fit and focusing on the original behavior helps. If he has a pen and I tell him that "Its not for the baby" and he needs to go play with his toys, when he cries I just remove the pen from the area and bring him a toy, and don't say anything about the fit. They have become fewer and farther between since I started this, now I might get one a week.

Kate - posted on 03/25/2009

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Yes!  My daughter also has a "'tude" as we call it.  She really lets you know when she's angry and/or none too pleased.  It's somewhat comical as she truly is SO charasmatic at just 11 months old but it can be hard to know how to discpline her since she has no clue as to what I'm really seeing.  I like the positive reinforcement idea or the "Not for Noah" idea... I think I'll try that too. 

Jenny - posted on 03/24/2009

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Personally, I think you need to be consistent---do not laugh.  My son is very strong-willed (already! hard to believe, isn't it?) but I have been a teacher for 15 years and I have seen the long-term effects of not teaching discipline from the beginning!



Babies this age may not completely understand "no" but they are learning and will learn it fast!  She also will learn what "no" means long before she can have the self-control to stop herself, so you have to help her by consistently and calmly responding to her attitude. 

Emilie - posted on 03/23/2009

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I hear ya! Glad to hear it is not just Stella doing this kind of thing!  She was born on the 14th.  I tend to ignore the temper tantrums a little too.  She seems to stop if she doesnt get a reaction out of me.  But again, that doesnt always work either!  Have you started planning her birthday yet?

Michelle - posted on 03/23/2009

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Quoting Emilie:



From everyone I have talked to, a lot of us are dealing with this.  I brought this up to my daughters doc because we are first time parents.  She said 10/11 month is where personality really strike.  They start to let you know when they are not happy by throwing fits.  Your daughter is probably really independant too right?  Mine is and she does all of the same things that you are describing.  I try really hard to use the distracting technique.  Sometimes it works and other times she does not respond to anything.  All of my friends with kids say that they start growing out of this around 16-18 months.  Guess we have a long trek ahead!  :)






Well, thank goodness I'm not alone.  Yeah, I guess we do have a long trek ahead.  I try the distracting thing too and sometimes it works and other times, she looks at me as if I'm bothering her.  I think at this stage she's testing her limits with her mommy and daddy.  It just akes you feel like you're always on her.  Anyways, what day was your little one born on?  Mine  04/18/08.

Mel - posted on 03/22/2009

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Quoting Michelle:



Quoting Melissa:

how old is your baby? im sorry ive read this thread and cant see if you had mentioned it. my daughter is 11 months and i feel sometimes not that shes getting an attitude but that she cries when she doesnt get her way and she turns it off like a tap. if i say no she cries, if she drops her toy she cries til someone gets it for her






Mine is 11 months old too.  She does the exact same thing yours does.  I just call it attitude for lack of better words I guess.  She'll also straighten her body out tight and start "ughing" really loud and kicking.  I feel sometimes as though she's just testing me to see how far can she get with mommy.  Her father and I are always with her and playing with her, I think that when she has to play by herself she doesn't like it.  It's a whole new learning experience for me.



 



ohh see my daughter i think has got used to playing by herself. im only really around her when i do her feeds other then that she jst rolls around on the floor with her toys as shes not sitting up or anyting yet. its great that u spend that much time with her and play with her. after what youve said about her crying when she doesnt get her own way it makes me a bit gald i didnt play with her a lot! my girl likes to do her own thing - feed herself play with toys by herself etc. i only go over to her when she hurts herself or if she starts getting bored and tired then i take her for a walk outside or whatever. brianna has started leaning forward in her pram now as well (shes tube fed she so has to stay in her pram for an hr while she is fed) and her strap only goes around her waist not her shoulder so im worried shes going to fall out. anyway i guess teaching her to play by herself now is prob going to be hard. like when babies sleep in their parents room then go to thier cot. its so hard to teach them something they are not used to. however at leats u know she loves ur attention and enjoys playing with her mum n dad. sorry i cant help ya heaps





 

Emilie - posted on 03/22/2009

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From everyone I have talked to, a lot of us are dealing with this.  I brought this up to my daughters doc because we are first time parents.  She said 10/11 month is where personality really strike.  They start to let you know when they are not happy by throwing fits.  Your daughter is probably really independant too right?  Mine is and she does all of the same things that you are describing.  I try really hard to use the distracting technique.  Sometimes it works and other times she does not respond to anything.  All of my friends with kids say that they start growing out of this around 16-18 months.  Guess we have a long trek ahead!  :)

Michelle - posted on 03/21/2009

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Quoting Melissa:

how old is your baby? im sorry ive read this thread and cant see if you had mentioned it. my daughter is 11 months and i feel sometimes not that shes getting an attitude but that she cries when she doesnt get her way and she turns it off like a tap. if i say no she cries, if she drops her toy she cries til someone gets it for her



Mine is 11 months old too.  She does the exact same thing yours does.  I just call it attitude for lack of better words I guess.  She'll also straighten her body out tight and start "ughing" really loud and kicking.  I feel sometimes as though she's just testing me to see how far can she get with mommy.  Her father and I are always with her and playing with her, I think that when she has to play by herself she doesn't like it.  It's a whole new learning experience for me.

Mel - posted on 03/21/2009

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how old is your baby? im sorry ive read this thread and cant see if you had mentioned it. my daughter is 11 months and i feel sometimes not that shes getting an attitude but that she cries when she doesnt get her way and she turns it off like a tap. if i say no she cries, if she drops her toy she cries til someone gets it for her

Michelle - posted on 03/21/2009

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Quoting Geralyn:



Read Dr. Sears' "The Baby Book" - great ideas...  Good luck! 






Thank you, I will.

Geralyn - posted on 03/21/2009

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Read Dr. Sears' "The Baby Book" - great ideas...  Good luck! 

Michelle - posted on 03/21/2009

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Quoting Geralyn:



We try (I say try because we are not always successful) to remove things like pens that our son is not supposed to have from the area beforehand so that we have an environment conducive to success - not a lot of no's and taking things from him.  The other thing we are doing is coming up with creative ways to say no.  Repeated nos can lead to power struggles as they become toddlers....  A bit of a different philosophy than other recommendations.  We say "Not for Noah" and then distract him with another item that he can touch while we remove the item that we don't want him to have.  I read early on that if we don't want our children to pull things out of others' hands then we shouldn't just pull things out of theirs (unless there is a safety issue of course). 






Thank you for the advice.  I will try them.  I was realizing that the no's were getting redundant and not making any impact whatsoever.  After she would throw her fit, she would proceed to get into the same thing again.  I'm always open to new ideas.  My brother said his little girl was the same way and she grew out of it, so with the new approach now, hopefully it will work better than the plain ole "no"

Michelle - posted on 03/21/2009

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Quoting Lindsay:



What exactly is an "attitude"?  She's a baby, not a teenager...  






Thowing fits----(that's just my lingo)

Geralyn - posted on 03/21/2009

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We try (I say try because we are not always successful) to remove things like pens that our son is not supposed to have from the area beforehand so that we have an environment conducive to success - not a lot of no's and taking things from him.  The other thing we are doing is coming up with creative ways to say no.  Repeated nos can lead to power struggles as they become toddlers....  A bit of a different philosophy than other recommendations.  We say "Not for Noah" and then distract him with another item that he can touch while we remove the item that we don't want him to have.  I read early on that if we don't want our children to pull things out of others' hands then we shouldn't just pull things out of theirs (unless there is a safety issue of course). 

Alicia - posted on 03/20/2009

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I think I know what you mean.  My little girl is now starting to throw a small fit if I take away something she isn't supposed to have (like a pen).  I do use 'no' and she understands it some of the time.  I remember reading or hearing somewhere that you should definately say 'no' in a different tone of voice and after 2-3 times just move whatever it is they are trying to get to or take them to another room.

Theresa - posted on 03/20/2009

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My daughter has started screaming during mealtimes.  I was becoming so frustrated because I didn't know how much she understands.  But  what  I finally figured out was that she wanted to feed herself.  Another thing I tried was whispering to her or if that doesn't work, moving her to a different place.

Lindsay - posted on 03/20/2009

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What exactly is an "attitude"?  She's a baby, not a teenager...  

Emilie - posted on 03/20/2009

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What kind of things is she doing??