Bedtime issues, please someone help!!!

Candice - posted on 10/17/2009

I had a huge bedtime problem with my daughter, who is 4 now and I just decided one day when she was about 15 months that I had had enough. My husband(the softie) was out of town and I picked a bedtime, I think I started at 8 and got her all ready for bed, tucked her in and left the room. She was in a toddler bed so the first couple of days I had to keep putting her back in bed. She cried and cried and it was really hard to hear her crying but each night it got easier and by the time her dad came home he was amazed at how I put her in bed and she went to sleep. Now both she and my 18 month old go to bed at 7 every night with no fuss, it was very hard to go through but very worth it. Good luck!!!

Claire - posted on 10/15/2009

Dear Amanda,

I have twin 18 months and up until recently i used to rock both of them to sleep then put them to bed, but after struggling to get them to settle and having no time to myself i decided on control crying, dont get me wrong its so tough it does break ur heart, but i just turned monitor down n tv up. So all i can tell you is how i do my rountine and that you can find some help in it, but 1st thing your daughter does need to be in her own room otherwise it will never work for either of you. right so here goes:

Neither of my girls sleep in a big bed yet as there cot is high enough so they cant fall out although i am taking one of the sides down shortly, 2: both my girls go to bed at 6pm after there bottle of milk and put in pjs ready for bed and then i tell them its bed time and they go up the stairs to bed, 3: yes i let them cry but after 15mins i would go back up lie them down and leave the room (dont look back) and after a while they will lie down and go to sleep. It took several days for this to work but now they sleep 12hrs and all of us get enough sleep and our own space. If they wake during the night basically go in tell her you love her and that its still night night, lie her down n leave the room.

 

I really hope this helps and trust me it does work, if i can help anymore my email is clairewillmott@hotmail.com

 

Best wishes and good luck

Claire

Mum to Mia & Chloe 18 months

 

Daphne - posted on 10/13/2009

1, Does your little one sleep in a 'big bed'?

Yes... My little man has been in his 'big bed' since he was 15 months.... But only because he decided he wanted to sleep in the big bed and not in his cot anymore... What I did was did him a new 'BIG' boy room and got him a toddler bed (its a normal sized single bed but is only knee high and has little trainer rails that bolt on and off) And on only the 2nd day of having his bed up he decided he wanted to sleep in it and that was that!! :-p

2, Do they have set bedtimes?

Yes!! My 18 month old son goes to bed between 6 - 6:30pm everynight... But thats just the time hes tired and ready to go to bed... Half the time he wonders off and puts himself to bed and all you here is this little voice from his room saying 'moo moo.. moo moo' (his name for bottle)

3, Do you let them cry if they dont go to sleep?

Umm yes and no!! If its a 'I dont want to go to sleep' cry or a 'I'm angry because I'm not getting my own way' cry I leave him... But ifs hes sounding really upset or histerical cry I go into him....

4, If you do do you pop back up every now and then to put them back in bed?

No



My advice to you is if you decide to put her in a 'big bed' in her own room to remove everything from her room and just leave her bed in there with a soft teddie/dolly and put kiddie locks on her draws or anything else she could get into.. That way you know that shes safe :)

Oh and also maybe try putting her down in her own room and 'big bed' for day time naps to start with and just see how she goes...

Hope that helps :)

Cierra - posted on 10/01/2009

P.S. Our kids are still in our room, but in their own bed.

Cierra - posted on 10/01/2009

1, does your little one sleep in a 'big bed'? my children share one big bed (queen sized)
2, do they have set bedtimes? we are working on this, but right now about 9pm
3, do you let them cry if they dont go sleep? I am still nursing my 17month old, but I comfort and soothe him
4, if you do do you pop back up every now and then to put them back in bed? yes, but I lay down beside and soothe him

Advice: I started to put my daughter in her own bed when she was about 18 months. At first, I would lay with her until she went to sleep. After a bit, I started sitting to the side, just soothing her. I think she still needs to be comforted in some ways to ensure she sleeps well and a schedule definitely helps. Try earlier naps. I never lay my 3 year old down and leave the room while she is still awake. She needs her mum or dad there with her.

Kerry - posted on 09/29/2009

If you are worried she will climb out of her cot and injure herself, we used to put spare pillows or the floor just to cushion the fall when my two boys were her age, until they mastered the art of climbing out constantly..Fortunately my little girl hasn't learnt that yet but my middle child her climbed out of the cot at 11months so he had to go into a big bed by the time he was one. Hope this helps they are all different and everyone has different ideas.

Amanda - posted on 09/23/2009

Thank you Kerry, That helps a lot. I find it harder as my partner works nights so for me to start being strong I'd have no support but he has recently sorted out day work that starts in 2 weeks so I will try.... no I WILL put her in her own room.

I am worried that she will climb out of the cot and hurt herself though? Also Thank you Michelle, having some sort of plan will help! x

Kerry - posted on 09/21/2009

My 17 month sleeps in her cot in her own room.. That would be the first thing I would be moving her into her own room to allow for that independence I know it's hard but you have to do it for you and her. My little girl sleeps in a cot still, has a set bed time of 7:30pm we say goodnight to the rest of the family read a short nursery rhyme them lights out and sleep. I let her cry to she is she can settle herself back to sleep and only go in when the crying becomes distress but I would leave her in the cot and not give in even if you lay her down and stroke her talk to her whilst in her cot but as soon as you take her out she has won the battle and she knows it. I know it's hard to believe that at that age they can manipulate you by pulling at the heart strings and crying non stop.

Michelle - posted on 09/20/2009

ok dont freak out

my 8 year ols still climbed in bed with me till 4 and my three year old seem to be in my bed everymorning she got her toddler bed at 18 months oh lets step back for a sec allen my 8year old sleep in my bed till 2 then toddle bed next to mine i nursed and it was just so easy to put them on the breast and go back to sleep

i did the same with my daugter but at 8 months i put her in the crib again in my room an her too was breastfeed she screamed and fought it but wouls go to sleep and like you she would wake up screamin i would then trow her in my bed and she would sleep good since she got her big girl bed she just comes in sometime at night

now destin he too was nursed but had to stop at 4 month when i went back to work

i had to stop cuz he would take the bottle so i stop so he would have too anyway he was always good about the crib and i havent had issues with him im glad cuz me the dog my daugter and boyfriend there no more room lol but just keep putting her back when she gets up let her know your sitll there she'll get it my ped said that im doing a good job and if i hear her come in at night i send her right back to bed and she doesnt come back but thats if i hear her lol i do have a set time and we do the same thing everynight my doc said no crying more the 5 min the go in and touch them and tell them there ok then walk out each time a little longer before going back

i hope this helps

michelle