16 mo Effective Discipline

Caroline - posted on 09/24/2010

i don't think a child of 17 months cannot be naughty as they don't have a concept of it, smacking will be of no use whatsoever as they will just repeat the action like a game. I give my girl a firm no but she often laughs, i find if i tell her off and put her down and ignore her, she learns she has done wrong. We then make up with a cuddle after a couple of mins

Charlotte - posted on 09/24/2010

Rather than actually smacking our kids we tend to smack our own arm while were firmly holding theirs so they dont actually get hurt but the sound shocks them but its a firmer no. This won't work forever coz kids are smart and they'll figure it out but when it comes down to it they no when no means no. Good luck i'm sure you will do what is right for you and your family.

Krista - posted on 09/18/2010

When I was taking parenting classes a year ago they told me that when a child is being bad around this age they are looking for attention.They say you are not supposed to give them timeout until around the age of two.After that they get the amount of minutes of their age like a two year old would get two minutes and so on.They say when they are bad you are supposed to ignore the bad actions and pay them no attention to it.Because they are trying to see how you are going to react.Also try and distract them with something else also.And when they are doing good things praise them for it.Cause they are looking for that attention and will do whatever they can to see what you respond to.So eventually they will see what you are going to respond to and not going to respond to.It does take time but I have did this with my children and it seemed to work.I guess the repetition of it they eventually get it across.

Nikki - posted on 09/10/2010

Good question and great responses mom's!! Thanks! Danielle, I have tried time-outs with my daughter, 16-mos-old, and I think I did them wrong; I thought they were the amount of seconds as their age, but I was thinking in months, so I did 15 seconds, LOL! Not sure that did anything! My daughter LOVES climbing on top of our coffee table, and as much as I want to allow her climbing skills to flourish, I don't want her to develop unsafe practices. My husband and I have been saying, "Feet on the floor" in a firm voice and pushing her little legs down off the table, but this is not working...we will try the 1 min. time-out. Thanks everyone!

Christi - posted on 09/07/2010

I have also heard that if you hit a child they will learn to hit as well. I say no firmly or put him in his crib, which seems to work, or redirect him to something else.

Jennifer - posted on 09/06/2010

I totally understand your struggle, I am having the same struggle. My 16 month old ignores No. If I tell him no, he does it again until I actually go remove him from the situation. I did have to smack him a little on the mouth today (I burst into tears immediatetly) he has started biting I told him "no biting" 3 times then smacked his little cheek as he was leaving another bruise. I tried my best & loudest NO & my angriest voice yesterday, still biting.

I do a lot of re-directing, a lot of trying to get him excited about other things (he is obsessed with electronics, phones, remotes, computer mouse, etc.)

Once he has spied something he is VERY focused and it is hard to distract him. I look forward to seeing what others suggest.

Thank you for this post.

Heather - posted on 09/05/2010

I also have a very stubborn and indepent son, he started throwing his sippy cup at about 13 months just because he wanted to drink out of a big boy cup like the older children. He has a very impressive temper too and a ton of attitude. He gets time outs like his older brother now, where I put him in the corner facing the wall calmly. I usually don't have a time limit if he is just throwing a temper tantrum, I will just calmly but firmly get his attention usually I have to blow in his face and tell him not to scream at me, then he can get up when he's done. I also us this if he is showing alot of attitude, like the other day when he tried to steal a toy from his cousin and was told no play with another toy instead, he through every other toy that was give to him and screamed and crossed his arms. So I put him in time out "until he could play nice" when he got up he didn't mind playing with a different toy. When he does something bad though like bitting or hitting he gets a time out for a minute. Where I tell him no biting it hurts then walk him over to time out and make him sit. I find walking him over to time out is more effective for him cause he knows where he is going and he does not want to go there, and it helps me stay more calm which also helps him understand that he is being punished better. After his time out is up he has to go say sorry and give a kiss. This seems to work for my son hopefully it helps you too!

Kristie-Anne - posted on 09/04/2010

I agree completely with you. I have decided to not spank my daughter as I was never spanked as a child. I just give her a firm no & occassionally when she is being particularly naughty I place her on her lounge - she doesn't stay there for long but then she knows that I am serious. I think the best way to communicate with your child is through your tone of voice - they soon grasp the firmer voices from your everyday tone. It is amazing how quickly they pick things up. However, in saying this I believe at this age my daughter is really starting to push the boundries to see exactly what she can get away with. As much as it frustrates me I realise this is part of the growth process & all you can do is be consistant as that is the best way to teach them. My child is extremely independent & stubborn as well & as I said before just being consistant I believe is the way to go!!

Crystie - posted on 09/04/2010

My son is 16 months old and we are trying to figgure out effective punnishments for him. He hits already, so obviously that is not going to be effective, or help us to teach him not to hit. I have been saying the firm no and redirecting, I have also done a few time outs...as he is not really interested in listening most of the time. I hope that it will be easier as he gets older and understands a bit more.

Sheryl - posted on 09/03/2010

I've found that using words other than "No" for things works better for us with our 16mo old. "Don't touch that" or "Not for baby" for things that are trouble and if it's something she could hurt herself on, then I use "NO! Dangerous!" dI try to explain to her why she can't do what she's doing, then redirect her. If she does it again, then a time out, or just denying attention seems to work the best. Denying attention works for all my kids at every age (13, 12 and 16 months)! They hate it if you don't pay attention to them!

Maria Angela - posted on 09/02/2010

I use a firm no and then proceed to intervene with whatever he is doing. So, if we are walking and we are approaching the house, but he does not want to go in and has a mini-meltdow, i pick him up and speak nicely to him about his behaviour and why we are going in. This works 90 % of the time, and the rest, well, we continue with a firm no and a pickup and quiet words and eventually the tears stop.

Samantha - posted on 09/02/2010

a firm no, then if that doesnt work after holding his/her hands and saying no in his eyes, 1,2,3 if still no luck isolation in a play pen, then if no luck, the cot with no toys, works a treat! dont listen to people telling you to smack the childs legs or hands, today you can and will be charged with child abuse, and what you are teaching your child is how to be aggressive and abusive, hold your guns and do it this way, works!

Stacey - posted on 09/02/2010

My Ittle chap is almost 17 months and is also starting to push the bounderys. What I've found works the best is when it is a temper related issue I put him in time out. I don't have a set length of time for the time out. I leave him in time out until he has stopped crying properly. I the tell him to come and say sorry. He'll then come and give us a hug. When it is thing that wil endanger him I then give him a tap on either the hand our the leg and tell him NO and explain briefly why I'm saying no. He's learning now that when we say no to things that we mean it. It is also extremely important you and your hubby are on the same page in terms of what is yes and what is no.

Lineth - posted on 09/01/2010

This question has been nagging my heart. I hit her on her leg one time because when I went in to button her onesie she kicked me three times in the face. Out of frustration I did it and I regret this action. I know toddlers are curious and honestly do not know better, maybe a little but I refuse to resort to physical discipline. I was spanked a lot as a kid and I grew up hitting kids even my brother and sister in arguments so to learn this as a result is the worst. I say take a break when they act up because they will and address it when you are calm. Focus on being the proud parent of your beautiful child because she melts my heart and I feel we should never fail our kids to feel scared of us.

Trisha-Ann - posted on 09/01/2010

im from a small town in kentucky, where spanking is firmly believed in... however i find unless he is doing something that will cause him harm (ex. he tried to run torwards the road where coal trucks run up and down) smacks or spankings really dont work at this age... my son hates time outs... i have one particular spot for out side and one for inside that when he does a no no (ex. throw food/sippys, hit) i stop him right in the middle of what we are doing and take him directly to time out... where he has learned to sit until i tell him to get up (1minute) i tell him on the way there and after he gets up what he has done wrong and why he cant do that. While he is in time out i make everyone ignore him. at 1 he stays in time out for 1 minute. The first few times we did this and when ever we do a time out with new people around he tests me... and tries to get up, but i pick him up, tell him "no" and set him back down and walk away... ive learned to just be consistant- that is the key. now after having time outs for a few months, he destests them... and usually just the warning of a timeout straigtens him up. good luck!

Tiffany - posted on 09/01/2010

my son is 16 months old and we started giving him light taps on the hand and bottom so he started copying and would laugh when he hit me, we too havnt found anything that works. i have tried time outs but he also just thinks this is funny. i think consistancy is the key but havnt got that down yet, its so hard to punish them when they are so cute and funny sometimes, i try to keep a stern face but then i just laugh which really doesnt help.

Nadia - posted on 09/01/2010

If you dont feel comfortable smacking, then dont do it, sounds like you have figured that out for yourself though :) ignore the 'helpful' suggestions from others to do otherwise. disciplining a child of that age can be hard. with both my girls we have praised them considerably when they show behavior that we want, especially when that included stopping doing something that they have been asked not to do. Let them see that you are happy that they have listened adn show them something similar that they can do. (mine like to play in the bathroom draws too, if they stop when i ask them to, i will let them brush thier hair with my brush for example - depends whats handy!) Ignoring a childs behaviour can also work, but that depends on what the behaviour is, you obviously would not ignore it if they or anther person might get hurt. my girls do get smacked, but only if they do not listen to repeated requests to stop a behaviour. I personally do not like to say 'no' to my girls too much, i find that it encourages them to do the same as they learn to start using more words. try 'stop' or 'no more', it gives a more direct instruction. I would think that she would be a little young to understand the meaning of the time out, or at least forget why by the time it was over.
with the tv - my eldest use to try and get to the electrical equipement when she was young (bout 8mths). each time she went to touch anything, i would move her back a couple of meters until she did not touch anything. didnt take her long to get the message and she was soon just looking! high chair behaviour is harder - i remove the plate/bowl (if there is anything left:)) and return it to them when they have calmed down. take a little longer to train (especially when to older sis it laughing at her) but we got there. Good luck with everything - i congradulate you for having the restraint to not smack your children and you should feel very proud of yourself for doing so.

Janelle - posted on 08/31/2010

Hi there I have a 16 month old and she too is very independant and strong willed =D I do exactly what you do, tell her a firm no and a low tone. If she doesn't listen, I then follow through by either removing the object she's not allowed showing it to her and again a firm no before taking it away, or removing her from the situation. If she gets really upset it means I need to sit on the floor and have a quick play with her and get her interested in something else then thats what I do. She's a pretty good girl, she now listens when she hears us tell her No and toddles off to do something else. Occassionally we have the tantrums, but thats ok its all part of it. If she continues crying, we usually carry on doing what it was we were doing and sooner or later she gets the message thats she's not going to get any attention while she's crying.

Brittany - posted on 08/31/2010

Joshua has gotten a few smacks on the hand or bottom, and they seem to upset him, but he always goes right back to doing whatever it was that he got in trouble for in the first place! What does seem to work though, is a firm "NO" and we sit him right down on the floor. He isnt allowed to get up until he stops crying/throwing a fit, and we make him appologize and give kisses. This doesnt always work, but we are ALL still learning I think :]

Laura Zoey - posted on 08/31/2010

Linda, my thought exactly about the bedroom, I want his bed to be a comfy place, not a naughty place. as he is so young yet I just plop him on the floor in any spot and make him stay put. he gets an invisible barier in his mind cuz he know i wont let him move and his mind learns that its not worth it to fight me cuz i always have the upperhand. :)

Linda - posted on 08/31/2010

I've read several of the replies and most are along the same lines: A firm 'NO' and redirection.
I agree with these but would also like to provide input. We try very hard to not say "No" all the time. If our 16 mo old throws something to the floor, we redirect her by telling her what we want her to do, keep her food on the table/tray. If she repeats then we take it away.
Another thing, when our oldest daughter (now 18 yrs) was younger, about age 18 mos-2 yrs, we began the time outs. However we never sent her to her room. Our theory behing this was we wanted her bedroom to be a safe haven, a place she can play & go to sleep in peace, not a place of punishment. Therefore, her 'timeout' spot was at the end of the hall in front of the linen closet. It was mostly secluded and we could still keep an eye on her. Time outs were necessarily timed. Once she calmed down and could come tell us why she was there & why it was a bad choice, then she could go play.
I hope this post will be helpful to someone.

Laura Zoey - posted on 08/31/2010

oh an ONE warning is best. if you give more then one warnig they only learn they dont have to listen until the 3rd warning. which could mean death in a bad situation. if they are in the road with a car coming and you say come, your going to be terribly upset if they dont come until you say it 3 times.
1 warning and then action.

Laura Zoey - posted on 08/31/2010

ok I have had extreme success with Eric. I am so very proud of his behavior and he is far above his friends in behaving.
ok so yes this worked amazingly for me
Ok so when he touches something he shouldnt I say a firm NO and if he looks at me I say Eric, no dont touch that. If he doesnt look at me I get up and turn him around to look into my eyes and say it then
If he does something because he knows he shouldnt I say NO and then when he does it again I pick him up sit him on the floor and look into his eyes and say no again. then if he pitches a fit I just reput him on the floor as i stand next to him until he gives up. then I repeat the no and point to the bad object etc. if it starts over i do it again. when he realizes im serious he will repeat to me no and point to it. then we clap and smile and get happy together. when we are in a store, i usually let him walk and dont use a cart seat. i started this when he was 10 months after he learned to walk. I usually just get him to follow by calling his name happily and smiling big and holding out my arms for him. he usually follows that way. now he is almost 1 1/2 i can say this way and point and he knows what i mean. he will sometimes want me to chase him and that isnt really being bad, its just wanting to play. if I am rushing I just pick him up but usually i will chase him for a bit then he will resume following me. he does follow very well. i also follow him sometimes to show him how nice it is. if im not in a hurry i just follow him around and he loves it. In everything i do in public i have a calm attitude i never get upset because when its a big area he could run from me. I stay calm and happy and he really WANTS to follow me. we look at things and yes he touches alot and does pull things down a bit. I dont freak out i just either put it back or make it a game for him to put it back. he wants to please me so if igive him a way to do good he usually wants to obey.
when he is walking to a dangerous place outside I say a very firm NOO and then i say eric thins way with a gesture. If he doesnt stop i run after him to pick him up :) but mostly he will stop and then follow me. but sometimes he will stop and tell me no this way pointing into the road parking lot etc. then I try to reason with him cuz i know he had an idea and he wants to do something. so i say thats an owwie and that way is a no, this way is a yes. this way is god! and usually it works.
ok when he screams i say in a quiet voice eric shhh. sometimes that works, mostly not. then i again make eye contact and say it again. then after that fails i will put my finger over his mouth and ask him to say something else. any other word makes him want to say it so h stops screaming. or I will sing quietly and he stops to listen or laugh.

ok if you have any other problem areas just let me know and i will tellyou how i handle it. I am not saying every child is the same but this all has worked well for me so i figure it might work for you too!

Lauren - posted on 08/30/2010

I asked my pediatrician for his advice, and I loved his method. For a while, I was using the firm "No", and redirecting his attention. But recently, I've noticed that my son will specifically do something ( like hang on the oven door ) just to get the No reaction out of me. When I say No and redirect, he's satisfied because he got the response he anticipated. And he'll go right back to doing it. Again and again. So now, I say No once, and redirect his attention. If he does it a second time, I firmly pick him up, held away from my body and put him down in a different spot and quickly walk away from him. I have a blank face on and ignore him if he has a little tantrum. As soon as he's done fussing, I talk to him like nothing happened. It's been working really well. He doesn't like being ignored and seems to understand that bad behavior is not going to get him attention. And I make sure I'm giving him plenty of loving attention that day, because sometimes I get caught up in house stuff.
Good luck!

Justine - posted on 08/30/2010

Redirection and a firm no is very appropriate for this age. My husband and I are ok with the spanking idea (both were as kids) however we've set groud rules for each other as to what offense warrants a spanking such as lying, stealing, etc. But definitely NOT at this age. Under 2 or 3 years their long term memory is still developing so spanking or even yelling and screaming at them when they "don't listen" or "don't follow the rules" isn't fair to them. We've also smacked my son's hands but again we have set rules for ourselves as to when; such as touching the stove/oven, opening certain cupboards and getting into medicines or cleaning supplies. My son has figured out how to open doors and cupboards even with the safety locks and child proofing so we have to be extra watchful. My son has only hit me once and told me 'NO' and I sat him firmly down and said you do not hit mommy or daddy. Which sounds hypercriticial but again, right now there is no reasoning with them their brains can't wrap around that concept just yet. The smacking isn't just for the sake of hitting or for us to 'punish him' it's something more than a NO to let him know there are certain things not tolerated. As he gets older more reasoning and talking will happen but right now this is what's working for us. Good luck and I hope whatever you decide to stick with works.

Brandy - posted on 08/30/2010

At this age I found it most helpful to redirect her from doing what she is doing wrong and saying a firm no. If she continues to go to something, I.E. a light socket... I will put her in her pack n play for a "time out". I say just keep trying the differnt things that you will think will work. I know differnt toddlers will have differnt reactions.

Sara - posted on 08/30/2010

My theory is that if you read about 6 books on the subject in there somewhere you will find what you need to know, (along with a bunch of stuff that isn't gonna work) And I know, who has time for that, but I just keep a couple in the bathroom and read when I can. I really like "The No-cry Discipline Solution" Happiest Toddler on the Block, "Without Spanking or Spoiling" and "How to Talk so Kids will Listen" A lot of the advice is geared toward older kids, but they get older every day so... But they focus a lot on how to avoid getting into situations where discipline is needed, picking your battles, setting a few firm rules, motivating good behavior, and staying cool as a parent. I also have bought, but haven't read yet, "The Manipulative Child" in case things get hairy. I have twin 16 month old boys, and so far they are little angels most of the time.

Shawnra Lea - posted on 08/30/2010

For the most part I've found with my daughter a firm NO is all that is needed. If she keeps on I will remove her from the situation which usually follows in a tantrum that I ignore until its over and then get her interested in something else. I do occasionally pop her butt when she is in a dangerous situation (like standing in the high chair. yikes!) If it's not too serious I let her get hurt so she understands. For example once she was playing with an empty drawer on our entertainment center. She kept slamming the drawer shut and I knew she would close the drawer on her fingers but I let it happen so she would understand that she needs to close it slowly and watch for her fingers. Which worked cause she never did it again. Of course I was right there for the tears but I've found that staying calm when she's hurt and not jumping up everytime she falls down has taught her to be a tough little bird. As for slapping on the hand that IMO doesnt work. It teaches them to hit. Turning a punishment into a slapping game.

Tara - posted on 08/29/2010

Other than time-outs I do as Kelli and take away privileges and toys. It depends on the child and what they did/ didn't do.

Kelli - posted on 08/29/2010

depending what u r displining for take a favorite toy away for a short period of time kids do not like taking toys away recently my kids who r older would not clean their room so i did and put the toys on the floor in a garbage bag and told them they would get them back in a couple days to a week

Kelli - posted on 08/29/2010

if your child hits take her out of the high chair and take the food away and try agin later when she is calm to show her that if she wants to eat that she needs not to hit the high chair taking away food only for a couple of minutes and try again

Kelley - posted on 08/29/2010

Slapping my daughter's hands worked for about a week. Then, she just started copying me. So frustrating :( I haven't tried time outs yet. What works best with her right now is: going to her, squatting to eye level (talk about a leg work out), giving her a firm no to whatever she is doing, a brief explanation (I know she does not understand everything yet, but she's starting to) and redirecting her to an actually task or activity. My daughter is a busy bee though so it does seem like I do this a million times a day. I do think that at some point there needs to be actual consequences for bad behavior, but only you and your spouse can determine when and what will work for you and your child. Best of luck :)

Bre - posted on 08/29/2010

I've started the time out as well. I put my 16 month old in her playpen (with the door open, so we don't get confused with bedtime) and it's not an immediate solution (I don't think there is an immediate solution except to remove the baby from the situation or the temptation from the baby) but after several times of doing "time out" for 1 min at a time, I can now use time-out as a threat to stop her (about 50% effective) from touching or grabbing or shrieking or whatever. Nothing is failsafe... if there was an option like that I wouldn't be losing my hair and reconsidering getting my tubes tied... but it's worked better for me than anything else so far.

Abbyh84 - posted on 08/28/2010

Danielle, you're the mommy now, so you get to do it YOUR way this time. :) We get so many well-meant "tips" on parenting from our mothers to the lady at the grocery checkout line (yelling at me for not having socks on my baby in 101 degree weather!) that I think we forget that we're the boss on this go around. I think my daughter is much like yours. When I told her not to put her fingers into the VCR, she smiled and picked up a barbie doll and stuck the barbie feet into the VCR instead!!! She sure knows how to push buttons (pun intended). I don't believe in spanking (for now, anyway), but I think that every child is unique and all children will not respond the same to the same discipline plan or parenting style. I think that we all have to figure out what works best for us and is best for our children. I'm still trying to get my daughter not to tell 'everyone" when she has to go "poo poo." It always makes for nice conversation at the cash register in Macy's!

Karen - posted on 08/28/2010

I totally agree with you about not smacking, I was smacked as a child and would prefer to have a more constructive method with my 16 month old girl! I find that distracting her works well and if she's doing something naughtly she gerts a shake of my head and a very disapointed look with a firm NO. As soon as she stops misbehaving she gets a well done and a big smile, it seems to work very well.
Good luck tho :)

M.J. - posted on 08/28/2010

I do exactly what Rachel does. If my daughter is doing something she isn't allowed she gets told 3 times to stop and after the 3rd she gets put in her room. I shut the door and she isn't allowed out until she calms down. Since she hates being alone, this works really well.
Redirection does not work with my daughter because is very stubborn.

Dawnielle - posted on 08/27/2010

was reading this and i had to laugh when i read about u smacking her hand and she smacked the highchair because its one of those cute things that make you smile...the funny thing about babies this age is they are in their learning stage so discipline can sometimes be frustrating. my daughter is going on 17 months old and i also have a 5 year old boy. one thing i have learned is that firm no's are one of the best ways...yes you are going to be getting up every 5 mins....i swear at this age it is the best age for leg exercise lol. it is very repetitive, and some times frustrating but the firm no and the redirecting is the best way to go...timeouts they really dont understand yet because that soon becomes a game.. so if you are persistant with what you are already doing then she will soon learn that no means no...and yes she will whine but u just ignore her and you will see her running off to get into something else :) good luck

Mary - posted on 08/27/2010

Noah is around the same age and last week we started 1 minute time outs because his tantrums were getting bad. He also has a 4 year old brother and they were both pushing and hitting over toys. I didn't feel it was fair to keep displining my older son and let Noah get away with whatever he wanted. So the first time out there were lots of tears and I had to put him back twice. They both didnt push or shove for the rest of the day. Now if he does something, after several warnings he goes and cries but he isnt screaming and after 1 minute has passed i have him come out and I give him a hug and if he hurt someone he has to go give that person a hug. This seems to work really good for us and today I noticed all I had do to was mention the corner and he stopped. Good luck with what you decide!

Melissa - posted on 08/27/2010

I was to hit and spanked as a child and have done this to my 16 month old. But when he started hitting back, I knew I had to do something different. So when he's doing something wrong, I take him and tell him We don't do that because....and if that doesnt work, than I put him in time out for one minute. That usually does the trick

Tara - posted on 08/27/2010

All I have to say to my boys is time-out or nose to the wall and they know. Even Ian stands in time-out for 1.5mins. with no problem. I just have to tell him no, then move him, then timeout if he does it again and it normally works. It works on all my boys 6, 3,and 1.
Good Luck.

Amber - posted on 08/26/2010

My son is 16 months yesterday, I'm not doing anything that you aren't doing. The smacking we decided against, just didn't want him to ever think it was ok to hit for any reason. My partner and I discussed it prior to our son being born and we thought that we would but we just don't feel it appropriate anymore.
We do encourage him when he does something good, so if he goes to touch the remote as an example, I look directly at him and firmly say 'No' then when he walks away from it he gets praise in a happy voice (not overdoing it though, as you want it to be a natural thing for them).
Good luck, it's never easy - but you know your child better than everyone and her boundary's as well.

Michelle - posted on 08/25/2010

My daughter gets treated no different then her big brother and they are 8 years apart in age. If she is doing something she isn't supposed to she gets a warning and a firm no, if she does it again she goes to her room....and both my kids like to be around people so sending them to their rooms is punishment enough as they might miss something while they are gone. Just be firm stick to your guns and remember if you give in even once you have lost that battle

Allison - posted on 08/25/2010

This is just my opinion, but I think you are doing things EXACTLY right. If you hit your child, then you are teaching them that it's ok to hit. They live what they learn. I do the same as you with my 16 month old. I just tell him 'no' firmly and then redirect his attention. I think at this age, that's about all you can do. Once they are older then you can start initiating time outs and things. I know that every family/community is different, but I just feel that hitting isn't effective at all.

Good for you for breaking the cycle!

Rachel - posted on 08/24/2010

I understand completely where you're coming from. I also was spanked as a child and even though I've done the smacking on the hand and pop on the leg I haven't found it very effective plus I do tend to do that when I'm angry as a last resort which I know is wrong and then my son usually tries to hit me and I definitely don't want to encourage hitting. So a firm "NO" and then if he does it again I put him in his bed and that usually does the trick. A lot of times the best thing to do is just to distract him with something else. As for the time-outs I let him sit on his bed until he stops crying and most of the time it's less than 30 seconds but occasionally he's really mad and will cry for a good couple minutes. I don't understand the 60 sec rule because you're teaching them they can stay mad and you'll still come get them after a minute has gone by. I teach my son that he gets back up as soon as he's stopped crying and since he's very active he doesn't want to stay in bed too long. It's been working great since he was about 9 months. Hope that helps. Oh and whatever you decide to do you have to stick with it and don't let a bad habit slide one day or they will think they can get away with it again. You have to punish right afterwards and the same way every time for it to stick. Good luck!!