Fit Throwing

Harmony - posted on 09/29/2010 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My son is 17 months old and well here come those terrible 2's.. for example we went out to dinner just last night and because i wouldnt give him my nice new phone he screamed slapped at me tried to bite me and just threw himself all over the place. Not shure what to do about this so any and all advice is welcome.

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Catherine - posted on 10/10/2010

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I try to calmly explain what is happening. If they want a hug (I have a 3 year old and a 18 month old) then I will hug them until they have calmed down, but if not (which is more usual) I let them scream it out by themselves. When you hit a tantrum they can't hear you anyway, and like Sam sad, removing the audience is a really good thing.

My little girl could scream for a couple of hours if she put her mind to it. Difficult and heartbreaking. But she knows now that it doesn't get her what she wants and largely doesn't do it any more.

My son has only just started.

I think also you get good at heading tantrums off at the pass. With my daughter a lot of the issue was just about explaining things to her well before they became an issue. "!0 more minutes and then it is time to put your toys away" kind of thing....

After a tantrum they child can be very confused about what has just happened and very insecure so I found that once it has blown over, hugs and gentle measured talking very important. I try not to lay any blame at this point and instead try and get the child to explain what happened and what she would like to do differently next time.

It is horrible when it happens, especially when you know you could have avoided it, but it does all come good in the end.

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Michelle - posted on 10/27/2010

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my son does the same thing i always give in and give him the damn phone especially if we are in public where its not a great place for him to throw a fit i know thats a bad habbit but i haven't been able to find anything that works either so let me know if you do lol

Amanda - posted on 10/27/2010

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My Son is also 18 Months & he also does the same thing...If I hold him to calm him done he tries to head butt me & I also don't know what to do

Nicole - posted on 10/27/2010

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Thank God someone posted this! My daughter started this Tantrum stage this week...I thought I was going to go crazy until I read this! I knew every kid goes through this phase sooner or later...but never thought it would be this difficult. I am definitely going to try the hug technique as well as the warning and time out method. We were just saying NO and trying to explain what she was doing was wrong, this only seemed to make it worse! At least I am not alone. Thanks everyone and Good Luck!

Shemia - posted on 10/23/2010

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my son throw fits but not nothing like that, i just follow through on putting him in time out, 1 minute per age and he learns sooner or later, you smack his hand or pat him on the but tell him.her no and put him in time out if they do it again. you can put them on there bed/ crib and tell them to stop crying tell them what they did wrong and say you can come out after a min is up and when you stop crying.. that is what i do and he doesnt through that much tantrum. also another thing when he does it ignore him unless it is way out of contral

Maria - posted on 10/21/2010

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O yes. the tantrums! arnt they lovely! hes just learning how to handle his emotions. my eighteen month old does the same thing. a stern telling off usually helps her. and then a cuddle once shes calmed down a lil. he needs to learn its not ok to hit, but ok to be angry. have u tried putting him in a spot a bit further away so you can ignore him but still keep a sneaky eye on him? I suggest that if the stern telling off doesnt work. or mayb both? but always a cuddle afterwards so he understands you still love him, just not the bad behaviour. Trial and error. And dont feel bad either, its totaly normal behaviour for them! :) Good luck.

Alisha - posted on 10/14/2010

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My daughter likes to try to wonder off on her own, so sometimes when i go to pick her up or hold her hand and tell her its time to leave, she'll start squirming, sits on the floor and just throws her head back. She hits her head hard on the floor and just starts screaming crying, which makes me feel so bad. to avoid her throwing her head back like that, i just pick her quickly when shes not looking which works sometimes but other times she starts kicking and screaming. I think the hugging might help me get a better grasp on her to prevent her from hurting herself, and hopefully calm her down at the same time. Anyone else have anymore advice?

Sam - posted on 10/09/2010

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"i've been dealing with my little angel/ terrorist,lol. my advice is to try to restrain your little guy with a tight hug and talk to him as calmly as you can until he's calm. my daughter did about the same thing just like week. tantrums are normal, they're at the age where they want things and can't communicate as well as adults and can't control their behavior. our kids don't know that having a fit isn't acceptable, but i think the best way to handle it is tho be as calm as we can so they don't think that yelling or violence is the answer either.... i'm working on mine with tight hugs and trying to stay as calm as i can. kids are going to be kids, so i guess i just have to be patient. let me know if it works for you too. good luck!"

Fantastic advise and just what I was told by a psycho therapist when I went on a course about inspiring good behavoiur. However if this technique dous not work he also advised ignoring the tantrum completely (assuming of course that your child is not at risk of hurting themselves) the theory is, that just as an actor would not continue with his production if the whole audience walked out, so will ur child quickly calm down if no one is taking notice of his/her "performance". Whilst I realise that this is hard in public places, remember that most black looks will come from those who do not have kids and dont understand what it is like, or form the older generation who did not live in a society where you took ur kids out regularly as we do today ie shopping meals etc. most mums and dads will be casting supportive and understanding glances. Do not let society make u feel like a bad mum. ;) good luck

Nikki - posted on 10/08/2010

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mine just started it a couple days ago! and i really don't think i'm gonna make it though this stage without some serious headache meds! lol! i will be checking back on this post to get idea's so people please keep them coming!!!!!!!btw Harmony my daughter is also 17 months she'll be 18 months on oct 16th! thank you for posting this!!!!

Shanythia - posted on 10/05/2010

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i've been dealing with my little angel/ terrorist,lol. my advice is to try to restrain your little guy with a tight hug and talk to him as calmly as you can until he's calm. my daughter did about the same thing just like week. tantrums are normal, they're at the age where they want things and can't communicate as well as adults and can't control their behavior. our kids don't know that having a fit isn't acceptable, but i think the best way to handle it is tho be as calm as we can so they don't think that yelling or violence is the answer either.... i'm working on mine with tight hugs and trying to stay as calm as i can. kids are going to be kids, so i guess i just have to be patient. let me know if it works for you too. good luck!

[deleted account]

Well my son does that too. What I have learned to do his to explain to him what he's doing wrong and give him a warning, you would be suprised how much they understand. But in a stressful situation while your out that sometimes doesnt work, so I remove him from the situation I take him out to the car to calm down, and then when I think hes ready I take him back inside. When we are at home or a playdate and he throws a fit I give him a warning, then I stick him in time out and he needs to sit quietly for a whole minute, and if he cries the minute gets started all over again. I have really seen a improvement in him, but its so hard sometimes it just takes time. Good luck.

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