How old can my son do a time out?

Amanda - posted on 05/16/2010 ( 60 moms have responded )

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My son is 13 Months old..I have people in my family to tell me to put my son in time out..I was wondering how old do they have to be before you can put them in time out..My son has a really bad temper its getting worse and I don't know what to do..Can someone please help me

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Maggie - posted on 05/16/2010

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as an infant toddler and early childhood educator, i strongly disagree with the use of time outs. your son is just learning to communicate and learning that his wants and needs receive different attention thus resulting in tantrums. placing your child in time out is not an effective or respectful way to deal with this behaviour. your son needs to feel understood and he needs to feel that his feelings and emotions are accepted. it is your job as his parent to help teach him positive ways to express himself and to support him in all attempts at expression. he doesn't know any better and he doesn't have the skills to do better.

Vanessa - posted on 05/22/2010

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As an Early Childhood Educator, former daycare provider and ECE student supervisor and instructor I would agree with the 2nd post that said not to use Time Outs. A one year old would not understand the time out and it would not do any good. A child that young needs to be taught the right thing to do and how to express their emotions properly. It is totally normal and obviously very common for a one year old to have a tantrum. This is because they can not communicate very well (not enought language skills). It is important to try and figure out WHY the child is tantruming. If you notice what is going on at the times of the tantrums you can help to prevent them or deal with them differently. Sometimes little ones are much more prone to tantrum if they are tired or hungry. Some also do not adapt well to change so may freak out if they have to stop playing or go somewhere different. Also try to provide alot of language for you child to eventually be able to verbally communicate rather than cry/hit etc. During a tantrum it is impossible to try to reason with them or enforce a rule. If you can't prevent it I would suggest that when he is tantruming provide a safe space and sort of ignore it. Wait until he is calm and then figure out what he needs/wants. As above folks have said one year olds are beginning to learn right/wrong, but it is just the beginning and they really can not reason or manipulate, they are not at that developmental stage yet. And I also would not agree with a 1 yr old sitting in a time out for 1 minute. If you actually time one minute it is an eternity for a little one and forcing any one yr old to sit still for that long in any situation is asking for more trouble. I do agree with an above post that talks about providing a child with a place to calm down... I would call the tactic a time away or cool off. Rather that a punnishment of a time out the child is proivided with a place to calm down and gather himself. Children need to learn how to properly deal with emotions and if we just punnish them without teaching them how to properly express themselves and regulate their emotions they will not learn how to do so. I would also recommend some parenting books - Barbara Coloroso is an excellent author of many parenting books.

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I started doing timeouts with my son right after he turned 1(April 25th). I was always told to start at age 1 and do one minute per year. So 1 yo gets 1 min, 2 yo gets 2 min, and so on. My son also has a really bad temper and the timeouts seem to help calm him down. Since I think he is a little too young to undestand to sit in one spot and don't move what I do is set him on my lap and do kind of a bear hug to keep him still and I count to 60. Hope this helps, and good luck!

Nora - posted on 05/19/2010

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I haven't tried time out yet so i can't really comment there, but I wanted to suggest maybe teaching your son a few simple signs to help him communicate. We've been doing just a few signs with our 13 month old for several months and I find that she gets less frustrated if she can sign that she wants to eat, nurse, sleep, read or play. There are a ton of books (even baby board books) and websites on infant sign language. It really is helpful and extremely easy for them to pick up and use (since they imitate everything). I doubt it will solve your problem completely but it might make life a little bit easier for both of you.

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Danielle - posted on 06/29/2010

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I think he's too young for a time out because his cognitive development isn't advanced enough for him to understand what he did wrong and why he is having to sit still. This is what I was told by my college developmental psychology professor and now that I'm a parent myself I have to say I completely agree with her.

Amanda - posted on 06/17/2010

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Bev you are lucky if your baby doesn't get into much trouble..My son is now 14 Months & He is non stop getting into things he hardly plays with his toys I don't know why..I say No & he thinks I'm being funny he will laugh at me he started doing this new thing He will spit in my face, Hitting me & pulling my hair he was never that mean before now he is..I don't know what to do everybody says he's to young for time outs he wouldn't understand my worker told me to tell him colors & stuff if he can understand colors than he would understand what a time out is..My baby is smart & he knows when he is doing something wrong he will look at me and laugh while he's doing it or he will sneak to it..Babies are more smarter than people gives them credit for they understand more than what people actually thinks

Bev - posted on 06/16/2010

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I would like to see my 14mth old in time out. She is a pretty good baby and usually don't get into much trouble. When she is cranky I either sing to her or try to get her to laugh...tickling usually works. I started giving time out to my eldest when she turned 2. I think she understood me and what it meant more at this age. Now we have an understanding, she stops acting up when she is threaten with timeout. Well most of the time anyway.

Nikki - posted on 06/05/2010

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Choosing what is acceptable to your family and what is not is really up to you. I think one of the most important things to realise is that at this age, your son is doing none of these activities to intentionally ''be bad''. He's constantly exploring and examining how things work.
I have found the best response to a tantrum is to largely ignore it unless he is doing something to harm himself or others.
You can help him channel his potentially destructive energy in safe ways by giving him some activities to do. A pillow fight would have him in fits of laughter and he'll soon forget why he was angry and will also tire him out. Pulling, kneading and rolling play dough or clay is another good outlet. Getting outdoors to explore different surroundings will also elevate boredom.
I am a great believer in discipline however I think time-out at this age is inappropriate. Once you have ruled out tiredness, hunger, pain etc you will generally find it is boredom. Good luck!

Amber - posted on 06/04/2010

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i hear you, some days i am just done being a mom because of my sons temper and the screaming... OH my goodness, make that stop... We just have bought a chair that is only used for time out, and he onlys goes in for one minute. That minutes is harder on me sometimes then him.. I often have to sit there and hold him other wise we will just keep getting up! I didn't think he understood tell this morning, a week after using the chair. He passed it and said NO MOMMY NO!! I just say time out and sometimes he stops!! Its nice too because i can bring the chair with me when we go out to friends, and i didnt want to use his bed as time out in fear that he would start to hate it!

Shanice - posted on 06/03/2010

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i would worry bout time out my son wont even stay still long enough to get his nappy changed let a lone have time...i believe its up 2 the mother

Amanda - posted on 06/03/2010

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For all the people that are saying that 13 Month old babies don't understand..Babies do understand more than you think..My son who is 13 Months understands a whole lot..He knows what he is doing wrong cause he will go up to the t.v & look at me than push buttons & look at me again..People always says oh babies don't understand they do understand more than people thinks..People that don't disciplines children are you just gonna let them walk all over you..If you don't start now than it will be to late to discipline them

Kelli - posted on 06/01/2010

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I haven't needed to use time out with my 13 month old , but I am wondering if the ppl who are putting them in their cribs 4 time outs are setting up trouble making bedtime a negative experience when they get a little older.

Leslie - posted on 05/31/2010

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also, i would like to add that the other day, it was really really hot and we were outside for most of the day, in the shade under the trees if we could and then on route in transit where some buses had air conditioning and some didnt. i already noticed that he had been nursing a lot that day.. usually 3 or 4 times in a day but it was around dinner time and he already surpassed that amount.. so when i had him in the carrier as we were at a farm he was on my back and he kept grabbing my hair. and he does tend to grab my hair on occasion. usually it is his sign of affection. but this time it was way out of control... the whole time i am thinking and talking with my friends and saying that there must be something he is trying to tell me as he doesnt usually grab my hair this much.. so i checked his diaper and it was fine... and i figured since he already nursed so much today that he was fine that way too.. but as soon as i took him out of the carrier he went for the boob... so yeah i guess he was feeling dehydrated or something... and it was taking me so long to answer him.. if only he could speak, he would have said " mommy milk please... " .. there was no bad temper there, he was just trying to communicate something to me.. whereas i am sure my friends thought he was acting up or something..

Leslie - posted on 05/31/2010

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i really think that at 13 months they are still too young. i think if they are acting up, that they are trying to communicate something to you. and by putting them in time out. you are not taking the chance to figure out what they want AND you are not giving them the opportunity to express and communicate what they need. i know it is VERY difficult at times to figure out what they might need.. especially if they are not talking yet. they might just be sick of being inside and want some fresh air... anyways, i am not experienced at this, but i feel very strongly about allowing babies to communicate and respond accordingly... and for me by believing this i found it to be a long hard 1st year... but it just makes so much sense to me...
one thing i find that works alot is the distraction method. since i believe that where my son is currently at is just a phase, his behavious comes and goes and changes... so i'm not too worried now. but what i am mostly worried about is my own actions and how i display them in front of my son. i am horrible at this and i know he will soon pick up things i say and do and that behaviour will be the hardest to correct.. in me and in him.
cheers...

Casey - posted on 05/31/2010

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We didn't start time outs with our son until he was 2. Now at 2.5 he fully understands what they are & we only need to warn him. So on one hand, I think that some kids are capable of understanding action & consequence. My 13 m/o daugther is more strong willed than my son, but we haven't tried time-outs. I try to re-direct, although not always successfully. I have read about a modified time-out, where you just remove them from the situation & put them in their room, or just take them away to re-direct. Please don't hold them down, for Peet's sake. That would piss me off, if I were already out of emotional control. So- try an unstructured removal from situation time-out, just to cool him off. Good luck!

Nichole - posted on 05/30/2010

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I don't believe in timeouts until they turn 2, there are other ways that you can discipline your infant/toddler. They really don't know any better, so it is our role to teach them. If my little man gets cranky and just wants pickup I either leave him on the floor crying but make sure he is clean/fed and has lots of toys to play with or if it gets too much and he is tired I put him in his cot and he nods off to sleep by himself. Sometimes they just want a cuddle too and I love giving cuddles.

Nikki - posted on 05/30/2010

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ITS BEST TO START NOW AS HIS TEMPER MAY BECOME EVEN WORSE THAN IT IS, MY DAUGHTER IS A SIMALAR AGE AND I HAVE JUST STARTED AS SHE CAN BE QUITE STRONG WILLED AND IT IS SLOWLY BECOMING EASIER AS SHE IS REALISING HER BOUNDRIES

Jennifer - posted on 05/29/2010

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Oooh lord no!!
Time outs at that age are no good cause lil ones don't understand the no-no's really and are like mentioned before learning how to communicate and how you communicate with them..learning to trust you...and time outs....when they are not going to know what they are being punished for...are exactly that...just punishments that probably aren't going to work until they can understand better.
The 1 minute per year thing...yeah that's cause if you hold a baby for a minute they usually calm down a bit...and they won't sit still for that long on their own in a corner or someplace.
It's just mean!!
:) :)

Jessica - posted on 05/29/2010

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my daughter has a bad temper also. She was 1 April 9th but we've only just recently started time out (about a month ago), we put her in the corner of the couch and put our legs over her so she can't move. it works and she knows now when she does certain things she has to sit on the couch. lol

Lindsay - posted on 05/28/2010

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I am British, and have never heard of "time outs" - but I can guess what you all mean.
I'm sorry, but I'm not convinced that my 13 year-old girl is capable of manipulation. Her occasional explosions I interpret as frustration, rather than deliberate endeavour to annoy me.
As with "controlled crying", such techniques to me are completely counter-intuitive.
Imagine how confusing life must be for a toddler.
Time out??

Katherine - posted on 05/28/2010

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Should have added to my post that as well as my 3 year old daughter for whom I started time outs at about 18months I have a 13 month son. When he misbehaves I give him firm eye contact and speak firmly to him saying no or telling him what he should not be doing. If he is trying to hit his sister or throw toys I hold his hand firmly to stop him doing the action whilst I tell him not to do it. I also try to distract him with other toys.
Hope that helps.

Gemma - posted on 05/28/2010

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As another educated early childhood teacher i strongly disagree with timeouts aswell. At this age children do not understand what time out is... you could try re-direction instead.. where you redirect the child to another activity or area in your house. And as a mother of a one year old myself i find that this works well (most of the time) :D

Katherine - posted on 05/28/2010

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13 months does seem a bit young for time outs as a) they don't have the conginitive ability to understand why they are sitting there and b) it would be hard to get them to sit there for one minute although I suppose you could hold them there whilst avoiding eye contact and talking to them.
With my oldest we started time outs at about 18months old when she began to understand more. I think at 13months they are beginning to test boundaries and learn and work out what is right and wrong whereas from about 18months they seem to understand better about what is right and wrong.
Also I think it should not be used too regularly as kids will become used to it and think they just have to sit there for a bit before they can carry on. If it is used as a last result or 3 strikes and you're on the step type thing then it will become much more of a serious punishment and will be much more effective as a result.

Susan - posted on 05/28/2010

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I'm on the fence about time outs, personally. For me, I'd rather try to explain the problem to my LO, but he's a pretty easy-going guy so it hasn't been an issue.

What I'm worried about it using his pack n play or crib for a time out. Won't that send the wrong message when you want to use either of those for sleeping or safekeeping?

Louisa - posted on 05/28/2010

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My little one is 13 months old and we've been using time out with her for about two months. If she's doing something she shouldn't be, like biting, pressing tv buttons (on the tv itself which can't be put out of reach), hitting or being aggresive, we say "No" in a firm voice, she then gets a warning if she carries on ("No, if you do that again you will sit in time out"), then if she carries on, we take her to our hallway as there's no toys, TV, pets etc out there and explain what she did wrong, then walk away for a minute. She doesn't have to stay in the exact spot etc, just out of the room away from everything for a minute.

I wasn't convinced she was old enough, but since we started doing this, she is very rarely naughty anymore. She seems to understand and usually we never get further than a warning now as she stops when we mention time out. We are very consistent and everyone who looks after her uses the same pattern for the same things.

We also big up the praise whenever she's doing something good, or if she stops doing something when we tell her not to, so she learns that good behaviour gets good attention, but naughtiness (and it is naughtiness not just having trouble expressing herself - you can see the look in her eye when she does it) gets no attention. We only use timeout for temper tantrums if she will not calm down with distraction etc.

She also used to head bang, particularly at meal and bedtimes as she didn't want to be in her high chair, but we discovered that turning away and ignoring it worked wonders, although we sometimes had to move her back to the middle of her cot several times each night to start with so she coulnd't hit to bars. It stopped within a week when we stopped rewarding it by paying attention.

Each child is different so it should be your decision, but we've found time out really helpful.

Amanda - posted on 05/27/2010

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Thanks everyone..These have been some greatfull tips..My sons temper is getting really bad Like when he's mad he will sit there & scream at me and it sounds like he's saying shut up or he will throw himself down on the floor and scream I just didn't know how to deal with it

Rachel - posted on 05/27/2010

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My son is almost 14 months and I've been doing time-outs for a few months now and what I do is just put him in his bed until he calms down. It doesn't happen too often, but if he doesn't get something that he wants and gets really upset or if he's doing something he's not supposed to and I stop him, then sometimes he'll throw a fit. I just pick him up gently and place him in his bed and leave the room. I make sure to not yell at him or slam the door even if I'm feeling like it. You don't want your baby to feel anger from you because that only makes them scared and then they'll cry more. Usually when I leave the room he stops crying within a few seconds and then I pick him up and give him a big hug and we go on with our day. Sometimes the time out is helpful for me too so that I can calm down and figure out how to better deal with him. But babies are smart and they can quickly figure out that you put them in time-out for crying, screaming and once they figure this out they should stop pretty quickly. At such a mobile age, no baby wants to be in his bed too long if he's not going to sleep. It's been working great for me and my son and I highly recommend it.

Juli - posted on 05/26/2010

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My daughter just turned 13 months and she acts up and screams when she can't have something (usually at the store). I've noticed if I ask her real nicely to give the object to me, then she will proudly give it to me. Although she wants me to give it back to her sometimes, I quickly divert her attention to something else, like "look Lexi see the boy", etc.. And praising her always puts a smile on her face. I know they get frustrated with not being able to express themselves, so I've gotten Lexi into learning some sign language. She absolutely loves her baby signing viedos. When I watch them with her and do the signs with her, she learns alot faster. Her favorite thing to do lately is go to the park and see the birds and ducks and then show me the signs for them. When we play in the backyard, she hears the neighbors dogs and signs for dog. I know it makes her feel more confident and plus it's alot of fun! Good luck.

Jennifer - posted on 05/25/2010

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Im sorry but I just dont think they understand the meaning of a 'time out' at such a young age. My daughter is 11 months old and has started pinching and hitting me when she gets tired. I just take her arm, move it from me and ignore her. The less reaction she gets the less likely she is to continue with the behaviour.
She also went through a phase of throwing herself on the floor and banging her head. I started off trying to protect her head but it didnt stop her. What stopped her was when I walked away from her. She wasnt getting any attention and she no longer does it.
He is just testing you to see how far he can push you to make sure you will still love him. I think every baby does it and of course you can handle it your own way - but Im going to save time outs until she knows she is in a time out.

Amanda - posted on 05/25/2010

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my 13 month old son has a fuse the size toothpick and a temper like a volcano! (takes after his daddy lol) but the worst part is that when he gets mad he will throw things, but he also likes to throw hiimself on the ground and bang his head. this has made it really hard for me to put him in a seperate room, but the best things that i would suggest is to pick him up when he's doing something bad and place him in his room. for us at least his room is right outside the living room. i never close the door or anything but i will sit him on the floor, normally on a pile of blankets so if he bangs his head, it wont hurt, and then stand outside of the room, just out of his view but so i can peak in on him. when he chooses to calm down he will come out. its not exactly time out, but it is a sort of punishment to know that mommy will take him away form what he wants if he's being mean. i also took a ton of child psychology and development classes, and i honestly think that so many of them are filled with bogus! im not saying this to offend anyone, but people have spanked, used time outs and other forms of dicipline for um....EVER! and we all didnt grow up to be social rejects and drop outs and serial killers. as long as the punishment is also tempered with lots of love and praise when a good behavior is done, there is nothing wrong! its just helping to structure and teach your children what is right and acceptable.

Jess - posted on 05/25/2010

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in all honesty, I dont use time-outs frequently, but I work with a woman from Public Health and she has assured me that a time-out once in awhile isnt going to hurt Mason. Call me old fashioned.. but I raise mine th way i was brought up. I'd rather try time-outs at this age than spank my child. But that's just me

Amanda - posted on 05/25/2010

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I have a 13 month old and I have never even thought of putting my son in a time-out. If he starts to fuss or have a "tantrum" I re-direct his attention to a different activity or say positive words that calm him down. I don't believe that you should ignore your child. They need to know that they can trust you. Try reading Dr. Sear's "The Discipline Book".

Jess - posted on 05/25/2010

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I do time-outs and my son is 14 months old. I put him in the bedroom in the play pen for a minute and he calms down within that time-frame.

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i never really thought of it as a time out when my daughter is being difficult (hitting, screaming or doing things she KNOWS is not allowed) i put her in a portacot in the loungeroom. She will scream for a minute but all her toys are in there so she will find sumthn to play with that will calm her down and once she is ready i take her back out to play with me and shes forgotten all about whatever it is she was doing earlier.

Melissa - posted on 05/24/2010

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I have a 13 month old and he has a temper! If we take away something he doesn't want to have, he throws a fit. usually just ignore the situation, but it if continues, I put him in his crib and let him calm down. This really helps. It gives us both a break and he forgets about what made him mad. I'm not sure if this is a "time out", since he doesn't know why he's in the crib, but more of a cooling off period for us both.

Caryn - posted on 05/24/2010

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O yes you can put him in time out, My son is 13 months too I have smacked his hands and butt for touching things he shouldn't and that works after a few smacks but if he's thoughing a fit I'll ask him if he wants to go in time out, witch means 1 or 2 minutes in his crib or playpen and he will stop cause he knows what it means. You don't want to put him in there for to long, Like a minute for the year old he is like- 1 year old= 1 or 2 minutes. 2 years old 2 or 3 minutes, there attention span isn't long enough to understand why there in there after that.

Amy - posted on 05/23/2010

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If my son pulls hair/hits or does something of that sort I calmly tell him no we don't pull hair and if he does it again I remove him from the area he is in to another room or area of the room and sit him down and say time out that wasn't nice we don't pull hair. He has the opportunity to be removed from the situation and is taught that his behavior is not ok. I then walk away and he goes about his business. I don't think I would restrain him to a crib or hold him. I'm not sure he would understand. I watch a 4 year old girl and she is usually the hair pulling victim. I need to also show her that it is not ok for anyone to behave that way. Even a baby. He is 13 months old.

Katie - posted on 05/23/2010

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There is a book called Positive Discipline by Jane Nelson M.D. read it. It is an amazing book! they teach positive time outs (for grown ups too!) it just a cooling off period but they have to be old enough to understand. It has all kinds of way to dealing with issues in a calm respective manner. It depends what your child is doing that is a mistaken behavior. its our job to show our children what is the appropriate behavior we cant expect them to know? One thing I do is look at it as who's fault is it that he is "misbehaving" did I leave something in arms reach? they need to explore its the way they learn and their memory is not good enough to know that last time I got in trouble for this. They look at us like they know but it is really for approval or guiedence not to spite you : ) hope this helps!

Kate - posted on 05/23/2010

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omg u dnt not a 13 month in time out r u meaning in his cot or in a corner. . my son is 13 months old and he has a massive temper as well as my older son. we never put him in time out until he understood. Calm him down take him out side. his probably getting more teeth if he isnt then.. distract him.

Chantel - posted on 05/23/2010

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I have a 2 and a half year old, and a 13 month old.
I wouldn't dream of putting my youngest in time-out yet. I think time-outs are only appropriate when a child is old enough to cognitively, through speech, have the reasoning for the time out explained to them.
We started Time-Outs with our oldest at 18-20 months, AND she is very advanced for her age. Personally, I don't believe time-outs are appropriate until somewhere between 18-24 months depending on the child.
I definitely agree with one mom here who said when her child hits, etc she sits him on the floor away from toys, etc and lets him cool off. Sometimes, when they are that young - the safest thing to do is to NOT react. Just my 2 cents :) Take care and good luck! Toddlers are challenging! :)

Jennifer - posted on 05/22/2010

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I'm not sure how a 1 year old can understand a time out in the traditional sense (isolation, or place in a specific place). Depending on the situation I find that ignoring poor behavior is very effective followed immediately by lots of praise when the behavior changes.

If mine is demanding a toy (such as an inappropriate toy at dinner). I remove the toy from sight, that is like a time out, then I redirect him back to paying attention to me by making funny faces or something like that.

At times he wants to bite me (mostly when he really wants to nurse) then I make a sort of angry face (not too strong) and tell him NO biting loudly and move him a distance from me.

Each situation and child is different but I believe in redirecting behavior, rewarding good behavior and ignoring bad behavior.

1 year olds aren't trying to be naughty their whole purpose in life right now is to discover and maybe your boy is "discovering" your reactions.

Michele - posted on 05/22/2010

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My little guy is 13 months and is generally pretty good. He had a biting issue which I would set him down and walk away when he did it and that seemed to work. We try to distract him and say things in a positive light. We don't say no all the time because I think he ignores it. I think he is a little too young for traditional time outs We really try to heap on the praise when he is doing something good!

India - posted on 05/22/2010

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my daughter is 13 months old and i would never put her in time out because she wouldn't understand, it would just hurt her feelings. but if you're going to, i would only put him in time out for 1 minute. i read somewhere that you should do as many minutes as their age. my daughter has a bad temper, but we just ignore it. and if she hits, we hold her hand and tell her no hitting.

Rachel - posted on 05/21/2010

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I personally feel that my 13 month old is too young for timeouts. If she is doing something wrong I will say no and distract her with something else and I try really hard not to make a big deal out of it. When she does something good we pile the praise on. She always repeats the good things becuase she loves the positive attention.

Cinda - posted on 05/21/2010

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The earlier you try to stop the bad behavior the better. My 4 year old has the worst temper and he is always throwing and breaking stuff. Time outs do work but u have to stay on top of them or they will walk all over you like my 4 yo. (i have tried EVERYTHING with him and NOTHING works.)

Desirae - posted on 05/20/2010

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my son is also 13 months old and has a bad temper with throwing things, biting, hitting me, or throwing himself on he floor. when ever he does throw his little fit i put him in his crib for a minute maybe 2. then i get him out and tell him to behave or he's going back in the crib. so far its been working.

Carissa - posted on 05/20/2010

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My son is also 13 months old and I think that this age is a great place to start with time outs. And my son also knows when hes doing something bad because he keeps doing it and tries to do it when i'm not looking lol. about a week ago I started putting him in his crib and walking out of the room when hes being bad and knows it. Not for too long though, I would say 2 minutes at the most. But i would warn them first; teach him that what he is doing is bad then if he doesn't listen put him in time out.

Louise - posted on 05/20/2010

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I have a 4 and a half year old and a 13 month old. With the older boy I was tearing my hair out! I had heard the 1 min per age etc rule so tried it. Time outs don't work if they are overused and that's what happened. He knew that all he had to do was sit still for 2 or 3 minutes and he could go right back to it!
What I have found the best is ignoring the tantrums. I don't even comment on them. If he does something seriously bad he gets timeout. Then he knows he's in trouble lol! If you don't react at all they soon give in. Also everything he does good then I big up the praise. I have a sticker board and big things like sleeping in his own bed he gets a sticker everynight and at the end of 10 he gets a treat like a trip to the park etc. If he misbehaves he has to go back to zero again.
He has gone from a serial biter and hitter and kicker to one of the sweetest boys ever. He still has his moments but they are a lot better than they used to be!!

Julia - posted on 05/20/2010

13

24

0

The timeouts that I was taught to do with kids under two go like this:
Pick the child up and take them away from the space where their behavior wasn't okay.
Hold the childs arms down to their sides (like in a bear hug).
Tell the child that what they did was not okay, wrong, etc. and then tell them what they should do.
When they start to struggle in your arms, wait about 10 seconds, and then let them go.
Reinforce as you are letting them go what it is that you want them to do.

From what I understand, it is VERY important that you don't say what they did wrong more than once. They need to hear what you want them to do as the last two things that they hear from you because that is what they will remember.

Stacie - posted on 05/20/2010

5

25

0

Time outs are a personal thing....some people use them and some don't. No one can tell you not to or to do them. Start when you feel it is right. I have 4 kids and a step son. My twins have ADHD and time outs help so much. I read the best book for me to understand what a time out really is and how to make it work well. The book is called " 1,2,3 Magic " the best $20 I ever spent. I have used the methods form it since my daughter was 2 and now she will be 10 next month. Good luck and I hope this helps:)

Catina - posted on 05/19/2010

7

45

0

I've also heard the 1 min per year rule for time outs. I think that's good base from which to start. Remember every child is different. Find what works for you and your child. My son also uses some signs to let me know what he wants. That does lessen the frustration for both of us, but that won't cure the temper tantrums. Our babies are SMART! They know a lot more than we think they know. Training your child how to behave properly is a strong benefit for ALL involved. My prayers are with you and your son. Blessings :)

Regina - posted on 05/19/2010

10

24

0

My son is 13 months old and just recently started throwing tantrums, mostly when he wants something he can't have. He doesn't hit or bite, just gets mad and screams when you dont give him what he wants, so I just ignore it, or if it gets really bad pour some water on his head and walk away . Makes him quit crying long enough to forget why he was crying in the first place

Amanda - posted on 05/18/2010

300

28

7

My son will lie him self on the floor & start screaming or Kick or pick up something & Throw it & Start screaming half the time it sounds like he's telling me off which he probably is

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