Need help getting 5 month old son to sleep in his bed.can't take screaming

Erin - posted on 09/13/2009

I agree with every one else about the need for a routine. It's rally hard to do, especially if you have more than one kid, but it's especially important for babies. It really helps those babies who don't have a method of self soothing. My son, thankfully, learned to suck his thumb at 8 weeks and has been able to soothe himself, since NOTHING I ever did (rocking, the swing, the bouncer, music...nursing would help but he'd scream again when it was gone and I know it's not healthy to nurse a kid to sleep. been there done that with my first child) helped him calm down. Before that, though, if his naps and bedtimes weren't scheduled the whole day would be filled with crying/screaming and when he wasn't crying he'd be fussing. Once I stuck to a schedule and had him sleeping in his own bed he calmed down quite a bit and is even happier throughout the day. I don't know if you did this, but moving the baby out of your bed into his own the earlier the better. Because the habit has to break eventually and it's MUCH easier to change behaviors in a 3-6 month old than a 1-2 year old. it will take a few days/weeks vs. a few months to change behaviors.

Kathryn - posted on 09/12/2009

Its hard i know, Sophie was the same way. She had really back colic when she was little and i got into the bad habit of letting her sleep with me when it came time for her to go in her cot she would scream and scream. I started off just getting her used to sleeping in the cot by making sure she was fully asleep then putting her down. But now she has a bedtime routine, bath massage, pjs, bottle, cuddle then down into bed. I find it helps if shes tierd before she goes down. Also she has a teddy that lights up and plays music that gets turned on when she goes into her cot. She now goes down awake and will fall aleep by her self. It does take awhile. BUt eventually he will get used to it. Just try to create a sleeptime routine, not go right away when he crys even if its only 5 mins. Good luck

Stina - posted on 09/12/2009

A routine definitly helps for bedtime. I put my dd in her pj's, nurse her, hold and sing a few songs. when she gets that sleepy look in her eyes, I lay her in her bed and stroke her head a few times, give her a kiss, turn the lullaby CD on and she goes to sleep.



If she fusses it's because she's hungry or uncomfortable so I feed her, rub her back, whatever it takes to get her content again and I put her back. Some nights are harder than others, sometimes she falls asleep nurseing or while I'm holding her. She transitioned from bedside bassinet/cosleeping to the sibling room at about 3-4 months and it has been far less stressful with her- than it was with her brother and sister who I "sleep trained" and allowed to cry it out starting at about 5 months. It could be partly her temperment but, I think that she sleeps as well as she does because she's always felt secure at bedtime. I was always quick to come to her and now she's fine to put down drowsy but awake.



When she is asleep in my arms, I put her down very slowly, keep my body close to hers as long as I can. then I slowly move my hands off of her. If she rouses and begins to fuss, sometimes all it takes is to put my hands back on her and she quiets back down.



Hope some of this helps.

Kirsty - posted on 09/12/2009

Taliah, i feel for you - I put up with months of screaming from my boy (now almost 5 mths old) it can be very distressing! My Boy Isaac has his night "bed routine" which is feed, bath, massage, top up feed & bed. I actually discovered the reason for my boy screaming was due to being overtired (a sleep doctor in my city says you have a 5-10 min window once they start to whinge to get them to bed or they risk getting overtired) overtired means hard to get to sleep then they wont stay asleep. I also found my boy will only sleep on his tummy (arms free), on his back he just screams. he has only just started to fall asleep sitting up in his pram when we are out!! on his tummy he will self settle and he luckily sleeps 12-13 hrs a night. Of course being on tummy, make sure they have strong enough neck and nothing near face. the "sleep doctors" website is Australian www.silentnights.org - worth a read if you can access it. i now let Isaac cry for a while and he will go to sleep, but if he gets too distressed i get him up & try again after i settle him. You get used to judging when he just wont sleep and needs something else. Isaacs "happy wake time" only used to be about an hour before he would start to get unsettled... so straight to bed.
good luck Taliah

Emily - posted on 09/12/2009

ohh screaming is really hard to handle, has he alway been in his own bed, and was he ever wrapped??? im no good either my lil girl sleeps in her own bed but some nights its sooo draining listerning to her scream and scream and scream, other nights shes asleep straight away, but try to stay carm and relaxed (i no hard as sometimes!!!) ive been told that they sense your mood and react, if you get stressd then they can become disstressd as well, we wrap up our girl before last bottle for the night,then quiet bottle in dim ligh so she is already relaxed, then feed then cuddle n burb, finally put her to bed with music goin, i am sorry for you and hope all improves soon

Emily - posted on 09/12/2009

ohh screaming is really hard to handle, has he alway been in his own bed, and was he ever wrapped??? im no good either my lil girl sleeps in her own bed but some nights its sooo draining listerning to her scream and scream and scream, other nights shes asleep straight away, but try to stay carm and relaxed (i no hard as sometimes!!!) ive been told that they sense your mood and react, if you get stressd then they can become disstressd as well, we wrap up our girl before last bottle for the night,then quiet bottle in dim ligh so she is already relaxed, then feed then cuddle n burb, finally put her to bed with music goin, i am sorry for you and hope all improves soon