Potty Training

Lor J - posted on 01/17/2011 ( 30 moms have responded )

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Carter is 21 months and we are really starting to crack down on potty training. I let him sit on the potty for as long as he wants and never force him to stay on there. Everytime he does something on there he get really scared and jumps off his potty screaming and crying..what does this mean and are there anyways I can make potty training easier on him and me?

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Laura - posted on 01/23/2011

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He's emotionally ready... Don't worry about that. Our society does not give kids enough credit to hold or release two spincter muscles. I didn't infant potty training with my son (also called Elimination Communicaiton) and he was in undies by 15 months and is doing great at almost 21 months.

When I did research on this topic, the one thing that came up over and over was the "feeling" of peeing/pooping over the open recepticle and how "strange it feels" when they get "used to" using a diaper close up against their skin.

One of the suggestions was to put a papertowl across the open recepticle to help them transition from diaper to open pot. The child sits on it essentially and hold it in place with their thighs. Making it more and more lose (hanging down into the pot) each time or few times, helps transistion the "feeling".

Hope that makes sense! Good luck

Jennifer - posted on 01/24/2011

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Instead of having him sit, can you make him stand? My son hated sitting on the toilet (and refused for a while), and then I started having him stand on a stool at the actual toilet. I would throw a few cheerios in there and teach him how to aim. Once he got good at sitting and wanted to poop on the potty, he sat all on his own.

Jessica - posted on 01/24/2011

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Hate to disapoint but some kids AREN'T emotionally ready at this age and that has nothing to do with muscles. I have a son with Asperger's syndrome and that is something the psychologist told me. Some kids just have too much anxiety associated with toileting and you have to deal with the anxiety before the toileting will be successful. I know many people that had their kids potty trained before 18 months but that's not every kid. Every child is different.

Beth - posted on 01/22/2011

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from experience with two children he is probably not ready to potty train yet! i really tried to crack down on our first daughter and found that it took her much longer than our second daughter who i just let her start telling me when she was ready. of course i would set her down and let her try but he will probably be closer to 2 and half or 3 before he is totally ready.

Jamie - posted on 02/01/2011

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My daughter is 21 months and we haven't even started potty training. I figured if she cannot recognize when her diaper needs to be changed, she's not going to recognize when she needs to run to the toilet. She doesn't even say pee pee yet. Sure diapers are expensive and I can't wait to be done with them, but I don't feel the need to rush this.

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Tina - posted on 03/04/2011

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ok ladies it doesnt matter whether your child is a boy or a girl each child takes to the potty differently just be patient with him try giving him a toy or a book while he is sitting on the potty or try funny faces to take his mind off the potty and what he is doing he will get used to the feeling and then he should stop screaming, when they wear a nappy its feels different because they can feel the warmth on their bottom and genitals when you take the nappy off they dont feel it anymore its just a different sensation for them hope this helps

Claire - posted on 02/27/2011

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he's probably not ready yet, theres no rushing toddlers with potty training lol, best thing is to leave it for a month ans try again until he's ready for it

April - posted on 02/25/2011

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My little girl LOVES to sit on the potty when I am in there with her but REFUSES to take her diaper off to sit on it. She even tells me when she is pooping and I'll ask her if she wants to sit on the potty and she answers with a very firm NO! I have two older boys and both of them (including one with mild Autism) trained themselves so I've become pretty laid back this third time around. From experience, I know that she will train when she is ready and the more you push, the more they will just back away. My boys were both 3 when they were completely trained. I wouldn't worry about it, he will do it when he is ready.

Lizelle - posted on 02/14/2011

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I'd also say that his not quite ready yet. Boys are a species on their own to potty train. Even once they are ready they tend to see it as something they have control over. That is to chose to wear a nappy and when to use the potty and when just not to. Try to relax. He is still very young. It's much easier to potty train them once they decide that they are ready and want to do it. Then you can easily potty train them in a day or 2. So just let it be. Have him play with the potty for now, even if it's with a nappy on. You're going to save yourself and him a lot of stress and tears.

Siobhan - posted on 02/01/2011

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Jamie,

My son was the same, not knowing when his nappy needed changing, when i started putting him on the potty an after a few tyms of him going on the potty and us praising him, he started recognising when he wanted to be changed. there is no need to rush is i think they will do it when they are ready.

Samantha - posted on 01/31/2011

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our potty chair is in the mail along with 2 how to books and a first potty book for him to look at, and we also got the potty training DVD from the pull ups website and hope this will be easy. were waiting until he gives us a sign, but i want to have it all for when he is ready. i looked at a few sites on 'when to tell if there ready' and the only thing hes does is follow simple instructions, maybe try looking to see if the child is showing signs of readiness, i dont doubt our youths abilities to train early, but i hear its way easier on them and the parents if the child shows signs of readiness.

Dana - posted on 01/29/2011

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Are you sure he's ready ? Average age for boys to potty train is 3 1/2 years.

Patricia - posted on 01/29/2011

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I was really worried about potty training because a lot of the kids in my family were potty trained before 1.
I used to sit him on the potty every morning since he was 6 months and he was trained by 18 months, until we had a long trip and I made the mistake of putting him in a diaper. Now he doesn't want to go in the potty, I have tried everything, praise, rewards, getting angry... so I will just wait for the summer and have him naked and hope he will start going again.

Lori - posted on 01/27/2011

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My daugher is also 21 months old and we too are thinking about really starting potty training after our daughter actually went potty on the toilet one evening after telling us she had to. I have no idea where to start with potty training, but I can share with you how we got to this point.

About 6 months ago we bought our daughter her own potty after she became obsessed with a "potty book". We would ask her if she wanted to sit on it and maybe a quarter of the time she would say yes. My husband or I would sit on our potty with her but she never really sat more than 2 minutes. For a reward, we would give her a "tattoo" (stamp) every time she sat on the potty. I came up with this idea because she just loves getting a "tattoo" after riding the carousel at the mall...and she certainly doesn't need any more toys or treats :) Eventually her time on the potty increased and she even tinkled a few drops on occasion at which point we gave her even more praise and 2 tattoos!

In the past month or so she has started to sit longer on the potty and insists that we sit on our potty (for real) with her. Her potty is right next to the tub and she just started playing with her tub toys along the edge and asks us to occasionally read the potty book which keeps her on the potty longer. This is what worked the other night when she actually went. As I said earlier, I don't know the next steps we will take, but I will likely get a book.
Best of luck to you!

Amelia - posted on 01/27/2011

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It sounds like his not ready take him out into the back yard with no nappie on so he can see where it comes from the when he dies a wee or pop on the potty tell him how good he is and give him a prize my son was 20 months when he was ready he started getting out of the bath n shower just to wee and was waking up dry from sleeps he now takes himself to the toilet after a week of toilet training his not 21 months n yes still has accident but if getting better! I find if you push it to much he will get to scared and want do ne thing till a later age

Siobhan - posted on 01/27/2011

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Hi my son is 21 months. He now uses the potty on a daily basis and he is getting there day by day. when he first started using the potty he would jump up when he realised he needed to wee, an he would wee on the floor. when he done that i assured him it was ok but at the same tym i explained to him if he needs to go he has to sit on the potty, after a day or so of this he then sat and stayed on the potty wen he needed to go, an now is more comfortable wiv using the potty for a wee, an alot of the tym his will go use the potty, he has had a few accidents but ive just tried 2 put him on the potty while hes going. every child is different, but the key thing is to stay calm and let your child know that it is ok to use the potty but when he does (because it will happen) have accidents stay calm and assure him it is ok but he has 2 use the potty. and also if you think your child is ready stick 2 it but dont rush it, an if u think your child isnt ready, leave it a few days/weeks then try agen, every child is different and when they r ready they will use the potty.

Good luck.

Danielle Setzer - posted on 01/27/2011

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Check out a potty dvd at your local library, and talk to him about how everyone goes to the bathroom, and even take him with you when you go and show him what you do in the potty as well - so it feels if he is just like everyone else. We have a free potty chart I printed out from Scotty Potty and then we put stickers on them and and also yell & clap and say Potty Power! :-) Hope this helps!

Tammy - posted on 01/26/2011

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We did buy a potty when our daughter was 15 months. We put her on it once and explained what it was and what to do. She asks about once a day to use the potty and we take her in. She has pee pee'd four times. Why rush it? I honestly don't know why people are in such a hurry. Let them set the pace for now. These kids aren't even two yet.

Mary - posted on 01/26/2011

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we use the potty as a learning time, my son is 20 months, and he loves sitting on the potty counting, ABC's and reading his potty book. we try to make it a posative experience.
It took 1 week of this until he was letting us know that he had to go.
Good luck!!

Casey - posted on 01/26/2011

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My husband and I started sitting Remmi on the potty at 14 months so he got familiar with the feeling, we started his toilet training with no nappies at 16 months and at 18 months he was nappy free.
I have to say he really enjoyed potty time so that made it very easy for us, if he did anything on the potty he got a sticker and after 5 stickers he got a prize like bubbles or a pencil and notebook, just little things i had already in the house.

Kathrine - posted on 01/26/2011

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I was wondering what is a good age to start potty training even if they can't say they need to potty or have to go?

Rachel - posted on 01/26/2011

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I tried potty training my older son Lawrence (now 5) at 20 months, but it was a disaster. Then again at 25 months. He kept saying he didn't need a wee, and then weed in the living room. My friend Nicky said to leave it a week or two, which I did. I then started again - it took 3 days, and that was it - done! When they are ready, there will be no probs, and every child is different.

Getting him out of pull up at night took a little longer (he was over three), but he always had a big mug of milk before bed. He never even has an accident now.

Good luck!

Katie - posted on 01/24/2011

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My daughter is 21 months too and did the same thing of jumping off the potty screaming and crying when she went potty for the first and second time. She also would start to cry after she soiled her diaper, like it was a horrible thing and she didn't want us to see it or change it.....So I backed off on the whole potty training for now. We have the potty and the pull-ups...she can sit on the potty anytime she wants any play with it, make it her own,but I am not going to push. I would suggest this for your son and let him get used to the potty before using it. The book I have (The Everything Potty Training Book) also says that some children don't understand elimination until they SEE themselves doing it. They suggest letting them run around without diapers on, somewhere where they can eliminate without worry of course like outdoors or the bathtub, and let them go and SEE it. Then they make the connection and won't be so scared. Good Luck to you and your family!

Gina - posted on 01/24/2011

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We read a potty book with our son for a few weeks before using the potty and we showed him the potty and explained what it was for. After a while he started to understand and sometimes he tells us he has to go to the potty. We just started implementing a sticker chart to help encourage him to use the potty more often. What it comes down to is the disposition of the child. Try different things until you get something that works for you. We also bought a small potty for him and that seemed to help. Good luck!

Casey - posted on 01/24/2011

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Obviously if your child has a syndrome or is sick or going through some other change or milestone, it can change things or cause a set-back. But a normal healthy child is totally capable at (or even before) 18 months, physically & mentally to learn how to use the potty. I didn't think we were talking about special scenarios here...
Every child is different & if your child is experiencing anxiety on the potty, that needs to be addressed. The first step is getting them comfortable on the potty. You can do this by taking him with you when you go too- to show him how you do it, then praise yourself (with your song & dance). Have the whole family join in on the praise! Show him that it's a good & big boy thing that everyone does.
And yes, I agree, sometimes it's best to back off, if for nothing but to let yourself decompress.
You'll get there. Keep it up!

Casey - posted on 01/23/2011

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A lot of praise & a potty song!? I didn't have this issue w/ either of my kids (20 months & 16 months out of diapers), but it sounds to me like he needs to be comforted & made to understand that elimination is a good thing that deserves praise & silly song & dance. Getting him comfortable is key, so maybe that means moving the potty to another location that he is familiar with or putting his favorite toy next to the potty... anything you can think of that he likes may work.
Hang in there & keep it up- it is possible.

Jessica - posted on 01/22/2011

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Maybe he isn't quite emotionally ready yet. Some kids just need a little more time and he might not be fully aware of his body yet. I would keep offering tons of praise when he does go, and if he continues to act scared maybe back off for a month or so. He's still so young and some boys aren't ready this early.

Jessica - posted on 01/21/2011

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We have been working with the potty since my girl turned one. This is how she acted when we first started. All i can say is you need LOTS of encouragement (we clapped and yelled yay every time she sat on the potty whether she used it or not)!!! The other possibility is he is not quite ready for the potty yet-take a break and try again in few weeks!! Boys are rumored to be bit more difficult to potty train than girls-dont know if that helps! Good Luck!!!!

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