Potty Training Celebration

Dina - posted on 02/02/2010

Tessa- congratulations!! I cant wait to potty train my 9mo! I've been meaning to start, I absolutely hate diapers and so does my daughter, she starts fussing as soon as she is wet/soiled.
I hope you pay no attention to criticisms, because potty training in this country is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen, in most other countries(not just underdeveloped countries contrary to some beliefs), babies are using the potty by age 1. The reason peds are recommending to wait until 16-24m is because they have their hand in the diaper industry's pockets. Congrats to you and your daughter, you've inspired me to stop thinking about it and start doing it!

Renee - posted on 01/28/2010

My 9 month old is only in diapers at night & when we go out. It's brilliant! She's never had a rash. She tells me when she needs to go, but sometimes crawls to the potty herself. EC is great for everyone's health & sanity & washing. :D Thinking of quitting diapers on daytrips soon. Eeek! We just have to pick up a fold-up kid toilet seat to go on big toilets. Why teach a kid to soil themselves only to have to undo that after years? This is far less stressful (in fact, not at all stressful! What's the big deal? My bub enjoyed the game/attention!) for bub & mum than what I've seen my sister-in-law go through with her 2yo. After seeing our 6mo learning potty-training quite happily, she started her 5mo baby training. He may well be happily finished before the 2yo! It can be hard for working parents, but part-time EC is possible & helpful, too. I hope more people learn about this! It's quite enjoyable, really. My grandmother did it, too. Most of the non-western world still does. It's never too late to start!! xo

Mary - posted on 01/27/2010

Brilliant well done!Tessa and Baby soooo pleased Mary

Shelley - posted on 01/25/2010

Tess, I have to say reading your replies have sparked my interest in finding out more about toilet training infants. The Pediatric Society does recommend waiting until 18-24 months to start potty training children since they can verbalize their needs & its not solely observational focused. I was concerned with more possible delays in speech, being pressured to toilet train when they may not have the attention span to complete it causing anxiety, & delays in socialization skills.

I also think that basing your practice on those of underdeveloped countries (India, Kenya, and as well good parts of China) without scientific based research is risky. In most of the countries that you listed, they also sleep with their animals which also increases risks for e. coli, swine flu/trans-species viruses, small pox, the plague & C. difficil to name a few. India has known child labor problems so potty training earlier would be beneficial for economy standpoint (I'm being very sarcastic here). Many African countries still practice female genital mutilation on young girls, which is obviously wrong & illegal in most developed countries, so I would have problems with basing my reasoning from those countries on that note.

I have looked up research on this subject since we started this discussion & I have to say I'm not as closed minded as I was before. Alot of the research available on early potty training is either very old or not really conclusive. The one study that said it was possible was based not on the parent just setting the child on the toilet, but teaching the infant how to reach for the toilet. The future outcomes depend largely on the parent & how they potty train their child or infant so its very individually based. Obviously neutral response to negative behavior & positive response to good behavior envokes the best response. I would love to see more statistics and data based information about toilet trained infants later in toddler and childhood to further my decision. Asking my colleagues where I work, I would have to say the general consenus was it was too early.

I also work 3p-3a full time, have 2 daughters 9 months & almost 3 years old. I can honestly say that for me toilet training does take more time than diapers, but maybe I'm not approaching the same way. Focusing all your attention on one child only does extremely simplfy things as well. You do sound like you have done some research into this matter & I appreciate that & it made me look it again as well. I just don't think my daughter is ready. She has too much to do to sit on a potty for any length of time. But thanks for the encouragement.

I also don't necessarily based my child rearing solely on my physician's recommendations either quite simply because they can be wrong as well. My oldest daughter's pediatrician recommended to me when she was 9 months to put her on skim milk because he thought she was overweight (she wasn't, her ht percentile was 99% & her wt percentile was like 85%). To explain proportional wt./ht percentiles, your wt. should be less than your height. No normal pediatrician recommends dieting for infants. The Pediatric Society also does not recommend the use of Whole milk (not skim) until after a year. So, yes I am very skeptical about information that is not research verified.

So, I suggest you do research & make an informed decision for yourself and your child & you seem to have done that so GOOD JOB. I see so many bad parents in the ED that I think I am more negative and skeptical to new parenting ideas that aren't accepted by the pediatric society or haven't had enough research done yet to endorse them.

Tessa - posted on 01/24/2010

Shelley,

Since we are stating our careers and/or degrees, I am an Early Childhood Educator and have worked with children from a wide range of ages and developmental levels. I have a Master's degree in Early Childhood Education as well as Human Development & Family Studies. I have taken multiple classes that focused on prenatal and infant development as well as child rearing across cultures. I have stayed current with my education by reading the latest articles and research journals about infant development as well as attending many conferences on brain development.

And, yes, I only have one child. But, I honestly believe that I will the do the same with my next child because she spends no more time sitting on the potty than I would spend changing her diaper.

Since my daughter has been born, I have been the first person to admit that I do not have all the answers. I am constantly growing and changing as a new mother. I have taken every opportunity available to soak in the knowledge of experienced mothers and to explore a variety of child rearing techniques from other cultures that have been used for centuries.

Personally, I think our whole problem has evolving around our different definitions of potty training. Using elimination communication with an infant is very different than typical potty training of a child that has learned that a diaper is the proper place to eliminate. I have chosen to teach my daughter from the beginning that the potty is the proper place rather than having to unteach and then reteach where to eliminate at a later stage in life. Infant potty training was used long before the introduction of disposable diapers in the '60's. For centuries before disposable diapers, mothers carried their babies on their hips and when they noticed the signs that their child was going to eliminate, she would hold the baby out over the ground so the baby would eliminate there instead of soiling both of them. I have chosen to take the same philosophy and modify it for modern day use by placing her on the potty. Although, I believe that each family must chose the techniques for child rearing that are most in-line with their personal belief system and family dynamics. But, I urge you to read a few articles about the benefits of Elimination Communication. Even if you do not feel that it is the appropriate method for your child or your family, what can it hurt? In fact, becoming knowledgable on a variety of techniques could be extremely beneficial to the families you work with on a daily basis. The website www.diaperfreebaby.org has a wealth of information under the "Practicing EC" tab.

I wish you all the best.

Tessa

LauraBeth - posted on 01/24/2010

Shelley,



I was wondering "IT IS NICE to have a potty trained child, but my concern was problems with developmental milestones later" What milestones could I possiblely be causeing a problem with by potty trainnning my willing walking son now? Since you stated that you have a background in Child Ed, Because my sons Dr. gave me the okay and never stated any thing about possible problems later on in his developemt. I find this very intresting, I will ask him again tomorrow when I take my son in for his check up because I sure wouldn't want to hender my childs developmental growth in ANY WAY! ! I also study Early Childhood Education, Human development and Family Structure, and I am a CMA (well "was" I stay at home now).

Andrea - posted on 01/24/2010

Thanks Tessa! Will do! :)

Shelley - posted on 01/24/2010

As for Andrea, I wasn't trying to be "NEGATIVE", I was trying to be realistic & point out both sides. You can be supportive even though it's not want the feedback someone necessarily wants to hear. Just out of curiousity, Tessa do you have more than one child? Otherwise, it would be difficulty to spend that much time with her on the potty if you had other children.

Shelley - posted on 01/24/2010

FYI, Connie. I am a Registered Nurse and I work in a CHILDREN'S ED. So, I do understand developmental milestones and understand that children do develop differently very well actually. But, Why would you potty train a child who can't walk yet? As for Charlotte, I don't really care if my statements "disappointed" you: I was wanting the other moms to know earlier is NOT ALWAYS BETTER. Tessa, IT IS NICE to have a potty trained child, but my concern was problems with developmental milestones later. Let me know how it works for you. Like I said, I didn't mean to come across Harshly or hurt your feelings; just want you to like past the right now & anticipate future developments. When you are paying attention to your child's needs, that is great parenting, not necessarily always effective though in future milestone developments (I say this from personal experience). So, good luck and I hope it does work for you.

Tori - posted on 01/23/2010

I love to hear great stories like your Tessa My son also has been going potty fora few weeks now.We have taught him baby sign.
When we recognize he needs the potty we sign to him,now when we sighn he crawls over to sit on it. Yes, he needs help but he is happy and also very proud of himself.

Tessa - posted on 01/23/2010

No, my daughter can not walk yet. Actually, that's probably some of my own good luck because she can't stand up and walk off! (=
If you are interested in beginning potty training, I would suggest searching the internet for elimination communication or infant potty training. There are some great websites that will help you get started. Keep me updated on your progress. I wish you the best of luck!

Andrea - posted on 01/23/2010

That's so amazing Tessa! And the hell with the negative moms out there! Is your daughter walking on her own already, or did that matter when you sit her down on the toilet? I only ask because now I'm excited to try teaching my son to use the potty!

Tessa - posted on 01/22/2010

I would like to thank everyone for the kind words. It is so nice to know that there are so many wonderful moms that I can rely on for support as I raise my beautiful daughter. I truly appreciate each of you.

LauraBeth - posted on 01/22/2010

Tessa,



I think you are right on track, My son is not PUSHED into potty training he signs when he is ready to go or he says shu-shu (which means stinky) Gabriel(9 mo today) started walking about 1 week ago and was walking with fruniture since 7mo. Gabriel also hates sitting in a wet/dirty diaper. he is so proud of himself after the does his job on the potty, I for one dont want my child wearing diapers in till they our 3 or 4 i feel like that is a bit lazy on the parents part. I watch my child everyday and pay very close attention to him (it is such a joy to see the wheels turnning in his head) he was ready to start potty trainning (he could get his own diapers off when not wearing pants) I also started the baby can read DVD and book set when he was 3mo I guess I am also being to pushy with that too, It has been proven that a childs mind can absorb alot more then you think so dont cut your children so short Shelley and Kristy! Also I was not doing this to get rid of useing diapers and I get extremely irritated when people say they know whats best for every child. Each child is different and some peoples child might not be ready to potty train, each child hits milestones at a different time. My child might be further ahead of your our yours might be further ahead of mine. I am just enjoying each day and watching my child grow and learn and loveing inroducing new thing for him to learn when he shows the signs for them. This key fact here is that Tessa posted this because she is proud of her little girl (which she should be) This was has it said a celebration and for you guys to be party poopiers for shame I say, and a kuddos to all the other mommies that understand that each child is different and Wish the best of luck to everyone when the time comes for there little to learn the potty.

Niki - posted on 01/22/2010

This is what my mother and Grandmother did, so why change what has been going on for years?

Niki - posted on 01/22/2010

I use the potty with my 9month old, after naps and meals, it save nappies, and I'm not trying to potty train him, but get him use to the potty so when he is ready to potty train he is already use to going on the potty, I have seen kids who prefer to poo in the nappy at 2 and 3 because that is what they are use to. He doesn't give me warning and is quite happy being dirty (ewww) so its hit in miss, but does go 90% on the time in the potty after naps and meals, Why Not Use the Potty Already? you get know when your baby yes baby is most likely to go

Trasena - posted on 01/22/2010

8 months.... HOW DID YOU DO THAT!!!! can she walk????

Rhonda - posted on 01/22/2010

I feel if the child wasn't ready to be potty trained then potty training wouldn't have worked. I did the same with my daughter. I just took her to the bathroom with me and sat her on her potty chair while I went to the bathroom. Eventually she figured out what was going on and wanted to be a big girl and also didn't want to go in her diaper anymore. She was potty trained except for at night at 13 months, and completely potty trained at 16 months. Like I said if the child wasn't ready then it wouldn't have worked. You also don't know if you don't try.

Lauren - posted on 01/22/2010

wow you have so much patience! i work so unfortunately potty training this early isn't really an option but congrats!

Gemma - posted on 01/22/2010

I think that's really good!! I wish I had the ability to do that, but I don't believe my 9 mo is quite ready yet!! But good on ya?!

Connie - posted on 01/21/2010

As a PS to my previous post. I am in the medical community as well. I am a physical therapist, well versed in developmental milestones. All children are different, even if this was potty training. I'll leave it at that.

Connie - posted on 01/21/2010

Thank you Tessa. When I read that post this morning, I was so angry. First of all, Circle of Moms is to support other mothers, not attack their parenting styles. Second, I do ECing with my child part-time. I agree that some people cannot do it because of having to go to work FT, but because I was able to go back only 2 days a week and my husband was the one staying with him when I work we decided to try it. Why would anyone think it is better to have their child defecate on themselves than to put them on the potty? Why sit there and watch them strain and turn red, and say, "how cute, they are pooping" and teach them a diaper is the toilet? I don't criticize anyone for traditional (American) potty training, so I expect the same respect. Like Tessa said, it's not potty training, it's completely different. We know when our child is going and choose to have it done in a potty rather than in a diaper. It's healthy for baby's skin and there are no ill effects. The nurse that attended my birth with my midwife was from Croatia (a Western culture) and it is normal where she is from. I want to thank Shelley and Kristy for turning me away from a forum that I was just starting to turn to for support. Tessa, I hope you continue with your ECing journey, as I will be, and congratulations with your success, since that is the point of Circle of Mom's.

Charlotte - posted on 01/21/2010

Shelley and Kristy I am a little diapointed that you would feel the need to put Tessa in such a harsh way. You may not agree with potty training at such a young age but not everyone agree's on parenting technic's. To call her selfish is really inapropriate. You should really think of how what you write can offend people first. No parent is perfect and deserves such humiliation.

Vanessa - posted on 01/21/2010

i read that a child is not mentally developed for potty training until 12 months to 16 months. some children are not ready tell 16 because its the portion of the brain that develops then that gives them the knowledge that they are going potty. But i do believe every child is different. some develop faster then others. and now adays kids are more advanced then 30 years ago. I was thinking of starting potty training with my 9 month old because she has shown she knows when she pottys but im going to wait until she is a year. i dont think anyone is wrong to potty train if they feel thier child is ready. ur the mother u know ur child better then anyone. if ur son/daughter is potty trained by a year thats AWSOME!

Tessa - posted on 01/21/2010

First of all, I am not infant potty training just to get rid of diapers. That is just an added bonus. In fact, I started it because my daughter HATES being wet or dirty. We have cloth diapered since she was born so she is very aware of when she eliminates. As opposed to disposable diapers, cloth diapers feel wet to a baby. For a month before I began potty training, she would come to me the second she was finished pooping or peeing in her diaper so I would change her. If I did not think my child was ready, I would not attempt this. Since she has been successfully using the potty for the last couple of weeks, I do not have any concerns.

Furthermore, she does understand the concept of the potty because everytime I sit her on it, she pushes with her stomach muscles in order eliminate. I do not punish her when she goes in her diaper because I believe that potty training is more about training the parent to recognize when a child is going to eliminate rather than the child telling the parent that he/she needs to potty. While I agree that a child should not be forced to do things (such as walking, talking, etc...) before they are ready, elimination is not like walking where their strength and abilities slowly develop so they are capable of doing more over time. A baby eliminates from day one. I am simply paying close enough attention to my child to recognize when she needs to potty and then allowing her to do it in the potty rather than on herself. We do no spend hours sitting on the potty during the day waiting for her to eliminate. She sits down, she goes, and we go on with our day-just like an adult. I use potty time as a bonding experience for the two of us. I sit down on the floor with her so we can have eye contact. We sing songs, play games, do finger plays, and read books.

Infant potty training (aka. Elimination Communication) is a very common practice in other parts of the world. The parent has to be very intune to their child in order to recognize the cues for elimination. The average age for a Elimination Communication baby to be fully potty trained is 18 months while a "traditionally" potty trained child is between 3 and 4 years old. As an Early Childhood Educator, I have seen far too many children that are completely traumatized by the potty training experience. So, for my child, I am choosing to teach her in a loving environment that elimination is a natural part of life and an acceptable experience.

Connie - posted on 01/21/2010

It's really not that unusual. Most places in the world this is common. It's only in countries where it is more convenient for parents to rely on diapers that children stay in diapers until they are 2 or 3 years old. It's called Elimination Communication. My child tells me that he has to go to the bathroom, I don't just blindly sit him on a toilet. You don't have to be able to talk to communicate.

KIRSTY - posted on 01/21/2010

I AGREE WITH SHELLY - WHAT A BIZARE THING TO PUT YOUR "BABY" NOT CHILD THROUGH. YOU DONT MAKE A BABY WALK BEFORE THEY ARE READY AND YOU DONT MAKE THEM TALK BEFORE THEY ARE READY, WHY WOULD YOU PUCH THEM TO DO THIS? THEY DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF TOILET HABBITS AND CANT AT THIS AGE......IT SEAMS TO ME VERY SELFISH AND PUSHY, NOT REALLY A CELEBRATION!!! WHEN A CHILD UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF USING A POTTY THATS A MOMENT FOR CELEBRATION!

Natalie - posted on 01/20/2010

Wow what an achievement!

Shelley - posted on 01/20/2010

I had to read your posting mutiple times because I was SHOCKED to read that you are even attempting to toliet train a baby that young. Toliet training a child before they are emotionally ready or able to communicate their needs can be detrimental to their mental health and possibly future development especially if its JUST SO YOU CAN GET RID OF DIAPERS. IT makes you sound selfish that you are thinking of how it benefits you of getting rid of diapers earlier. Just typing this is making me extremely irritated. I work in the medical community & think that you should consider the whole picture before committing to training your child before they progressed through usual development progression. Sorry to come across harshly, but I think other mothers reading this note of yours should know that it may not necessarily be the best thing to do.

Connie - posted on 01/20/2010

Mine is doing the same since about 7 months (except for an occasional slip up when Mommy or Daddy aren't paying attention). Isn't it great to know they aren't going in their diaper? We also catch most post nap pees too. My goal is diaper free by 1 1/2 yrs. We actually were able to cancel our diaper service because I feel comfortable laundering pee diapers. That'll be a huge financial plus of ECing:) Good luck to you!

Shakeirra - posted on 01/20/2010

wow im so tempted to try that..my son is 9 months and i told my mom that i was going to start potty training him the day after his birthday..she told me to wait until he was 16 months and im so not going to wait..you give me hope..thanks and congrats

Wande - posted on 01/20/2010

Wow, good for you.Im with Claire, he's growing so fast as it is, but we're definitely going to start getting him used to sitting on the potty next month :)

Rhonda - posted on 01/19/2010

That is wonderful. I wish mine would. How did you accomplish that.

Claire - posted on 01/18/2010

WOW i praise you that is brilliant!!

im happy with my little guy in nappies he is growing up to fast as it is lol :)

LauraBeth - posted on 01/17/2010

We started potty trainning Gabriel when he turned 8mo. he pootys in his big boy chair but we have yet to get him to poo. Congrats, We are hopeing that he will be fully useing the potty by 14mos

Ink - posted on 01/17/2010

OH this is HUUUUUGE!

CONGRATULATIONS!

Jenny - posted on 01/17/2010

That is awesome. I have 2 in diapers, I am jealous!!

Tessa - posted on 01/16/2010

I have cloth diapered since she was born and she has always wanted to be changed as soon as her diaper was wet or soiled. I think that really helps because she knows what it feels like to be wet. I decided to start potty training because I thought if I could keep her from wetting even one diaper a day it would save laundry.

We got her a baby bjorn potty a couple of weeks ago. It is the perfect height, she can hold on and it has a back support. http://www.amazon.com/BabyBj%C3%B6rn-055...

I put her on the potty as soon as she wakes up from nighttime or naps and once an hour all day. I usually sit on the floor in front of her while she is on the potty and play patty cake or read a book so she doesn't mind sitting there. When she pees/poos, I get really excited and clap for her. She loves it!

It does take a lot of time and commitment, but it seems to be working really well for us. Less dirty diapers=Less laundry for me. I have hopes that she will be mostly potty trained by the time she is walking.

Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 01/16/2010

Wow... Tell me your secret. How do u get your baby to poo in the potty?