SHOULD I LET HIM CRY HIMSELF BACK TO SLEEP?

Michelle - posted on 03/31/2010

let him cry for a bout 5-10 min if he does not drop off to sleep go and check to make sure he if he is wet and needs to be changed then just gently rub his back til he falls back to sleep don't talk to him or take him out of his bed unless you absolutely have to this is a process and will take time but usually if they are just fussing but not in need of anything they will fall back to sleep on their own.

Kelley - posted on 01/09/2010

I have forund that if you give them more to eat durring the day and cereal before bedtime it helps them to not wake in the middle of the night. I have done this with all 3 of my kids and I had them sleeping through the night by 2 months at the longest.

Donna - posted on 01/09/2010

Google what Dr Sears (Paediatrician & father of 8) website says on Crying it Out, baby communication, trust & learned helplessness - very interesting reading!!!

Trust your own motherly instincts - we are given them for a reason.

Delia-Marie - posted on 01/08/2010

My son is 9 months old and I am experiencing the same thing.
During the day, when he starts to get cranky, I make him a bottle, close all the blinds in the room to make it dark, I put on the heater so he has that extra noise, and I lay him down in his pack and play with his bottle, and I close the door and let him go to sleep on his own. He does this for both naptimes... but at night if he wakes up, then I soothe him.

We let him cry for maybe a few minutes, but I don't like to leave him like that. But by making him put himself to sleep during the day, he is catching on. And it's balanced by us soothing him at night.

I mean, he is a baby still... as much as you want them to do things for themselves, there will be the day--before you even know it-- where he doesn't need you anymore. Personally, I enjoying soothing my little man. I will appreciate these days, because I know how quickly they will pass by.

Good luck, your natural instincts will kick in and give you the answer you are looking for!

Veronica - posted on 01/07/2010

my daughter is 8 months old and she is also doing the same thing - I nurse her back to sleep as that is the only thing that works for her - I have tried to let her cry and to be honest I think they cry for a reason - it may just be they don't like to be on their own - I have since brought her a glow worm that sleeps in her bed with her and she never comes out of the bed - we tuck her in when I take my daughter out so she now knows that that is her little sleeping buddie - this has helped as she now does not wake as often as she did - not sure if this will work for your son but at least you know you are not on your own - many of us mums are all going through the same restless nights - goodluck to you

Jennifer - posted on 01/07/2010

LOL! Reading these posts just made me feel so much better... even if there's still no consensus on what to do. I'm glad I'm not the only one with an 8 1/2 month old who doesn't sleep through. My Mom also says to let her cry it out (though tellingly when we stayed with her for 2 nights over the holidays she almost beat me to the room where she was sleeping when she'd wake!). We've tried cry it out and going in every time she cries, and neither totally works. I think like so many others have posted that babies are individuals and they're still working things out. My best friend's son has slept through the night from the beginning and only ever wakes in the middle of the night if he's got a fever... but he's never shown pain from teething, never had an ear infection, etc. He's just an even-keeled little guy. My daughter will go through phases of sleeping well, and then it's like someone flips a switch and she needs me (all the time, not just at night). Usually it turns out that she's teething, but sometimes we just have bad weeks where her whole schedule gets off.

Good luck!

Caryl - posted on 01/06/2010

My daughter has never slept through the night; most of my friends say that their children did not start sleeping through the night until they were 12+ months of age. I have tried CIO on several occasions - never works. She just gets worse and worse as the weeks wear on. At this point, she is 9 months old, and wakes a few times a night. To keep our sanity, we co-sleep. It's easier than getting up, getting her, feeding her, laying her back down, etc. etc. This works for our family. I too agree that infants cry because of a need; right now my daughter is teething, and nothing really consoles her in the middle of the night, she just cries for a few minutes.

We haven't gotten a full nights' sleep since she was born LOL Mostly, I think it's a developmental issues. If you think about it, as adults we wake up several times a night but aren't aware of it. Infants don't understand, and have a difficult time going back to sleep. As they get older, it gets better.

Vanessa - posted on 01/06/2010

You should defenetly let him cry it out. If you keep going back to comfort him, he will WANT you to go there whenever he wants. And if whenever he cries you go there, he will cry every time. I know it really sucks to hear the baby cry, but it's for his best! If he wakes up in the middle of the night, DON"T go in there, wait 15 minutes (they usually go to sleep during those 15 minutes) but if he doesn't stop crying go in there, don't turn on the light, just give him a kiss and thell him you love him then leave and wait another 15 minutes. Do this until he get's used to it. They usually get it by the 2nd or 3 rd night! Good luck!

Kathy - posted on 01/06/2010

Im also going thru the same problem that most of you are.. My son has always been on a schedule of sleeping and eating every 3 hours.. Which he stopped doing around 4 months and would occasionally sleep thru the night.. He almost always goes to sleep by 12am, still wakes up at 3am to eat, and then back to sleep till 9am or noon.. In the last month he has been very hard to get to sleep.. Im awake with him till at least 5 or 6am every morning now and then he will sleep until around 2pm or later.. He started getting his teeth in at 5 months and is on #7 now.. Hes always slept in my bed with me but now that hes not going to sleep right away and is ALOT more active (Sitting up and trying to crawl) I decided to start putting him in his pack-n-play to sleep. (My bedroom isnt big enough for a crib).. I even went as far as to take the frame out from under my bed because I was afraid he would fall off while I was changing his diaper and get hurt.. I just couldnt stay awake with him anymore... So now I am trying to figure out the best way to get him to sleep. He cries when I lay him down and I could put cartoons on for him to watch but I dont want to start the habit of watching tv to go to bed.. The crying thing seems to work since he doesnt cry for that long but it bothers me that Im the reason hes crying.. But he still wouldnt go to sleep if I picked him up so that would be pointless too...

Katie - posted on 01/06/2010

Don't ignore him. But don't pick him up right away. Rub a blankie against his cheek or give him a pacifier. Try to teach him how to self soothe.

Krista - posted on 01/06/2010

I completely agree with Joy's comments. My daughter did the same thing. I had a really hard time letting her cry for even that long so my husband is on bedtime duty now because he's a little stronger than I am in that area. When this problem first started I just thought that she must not be tired so I would go up and get her out of bed and bring her downstairs. This only escalated the problem and we ended up being up til 2am before she would go to sleep. Since we have been insisting that she stay in bed and only go to her in timed intervals she has been doing much better. She still gets up once a night but usually her pacifier will calm her. Some nights she's extra hungry and a bottle will work. Good Luck!!

Kate - posted on 01/06/2010

My first child did not sleep through until she was two and a half everybody told me I was doing the wrong thing no matter what I was trying. Most of the information I found was contradictory. It took listening to my second childs sleepy crying to figure out the first child was simply wakeful between 1 and 4am every night and wanted company. Babies are individuals, my second child sleeps 5 to 7 hrs a night but what works for the majority may not be the right thing for one individual and they cannot tell us. If you are exhausted and need to sleep for yourself see a doctor.

Fiona - posted on 01/06/2010

I agree with Jennifer that crying is their way of communicating. My son is almost 9 months and he never slept through the night. He sleeps for half an hour or less and wakes up crying. It's frustrating as we're very exhausted. I don't agree with the crying-out method but all babies are different. Mine becomes hysterical when I let him cry and it makes me feel bad too!

Mallory - posted on 01/05/2010

I think it's up to you and most importantly, your baby. My son is 8 months and he goes through phases of waking up in the night. I go by how he sounds when he cries. It's a complicated system that I can't really explain but I feel like I know when he actually needs me and I know when he's just wanting to crawl into mommy's bed. So a lot of the time I let him cry himself back to sleep and sometimes I just have to pick him up. Don't let anyone else tell you what to do or make you feel bad for your parenting choices just go with your gut!!!!

Jillian - posted on 01/05/2010

Quoting Jillian:

Quoting amber:

cry it out method is not good . please research the problems associated with this method

what problems are associated and where can i get info on this?

any reseach i have been able to find on Cry it out or Ferber Method VS attachment parenting has been completely contridictory, as every baby is different and it is very difficult to have a controlled study with so many variables found in babies.  the main issues that have been brought up against the Ferber Method are attachment issues and decreased brain developement associated with excess crying, however letting a baby cry it out in the short term has been proven to cause less crying in the long run.  again condradicting information.  most problems were caused when the Ferber or cry it out method is used on infants under 6 months of age, when they still needed nutrition from night feedings to grow.  mostly which method you use and how you deal with night waking depends on your individual baby and your individual situation.

Rachel - posted on 01/05/2010

I was never a fan of the cry it out method, however my son is 8 1/2 months old and always was a good sleeper so of course when he was waking up more often I thought he needed me. However after of about 2 weeks of slowly increasing the number of times we were up (every 2 hours at one point) I decided to try something else. He now gets up once and has actually started napping better!!

But only you know what is the best thing to do:)

Jillian - posted on 01/05/2010

Quoting amber:

cry it out method is not good . please research the problems associated with this method

what problems are associated and where can i get info on this?

Crystal - posted on 01/05/2010

I started letting my daughter cry herself to sleep at 6 months old and ever since then she sleeps all night. She only crys for about 5 minutes some times not at all, she goes for a nap every 2 hours, and sleeps for about 1 1/2 hours or more!! its hard in the begining reallyy hard.. but you gotta stick to it, and not go and get them, (unless of corse they have bin crying for a really long time) you'll be soo much happier in the end, you get so much more "me" time and ts so easy you just take them to their crib and there sleeping!

Amber - posted on 01/05/2010

cry it out method is not good . please research the problems associated with this method

Shannon - posted on 01/05/2010

Oh my goodness. I thought I was the only one. Oliver has never slept through, but use to only wake once for five mins then go back to sleep after a quick feed. Now I am finding that is all he wants- breast. I am thinking of taking him off the breast as he is on bottles during the day anyway. I am a single mum and we only have a one bedroom place, so Oliver is in with me- in his cot. But he gets so hysterical that he just wants to sleep with me and I know this is a bad habbit. I am going to try letting him cry a bit longer before getting up to him. But he knows I am in the room. And he has a thing with playing with my hair while I rock him.

Jillian - posted on 01/04/2010

i was having huge problems with my little girl, she slept okay until a month ago. i would nurse her to sleep and then try to lay her down in her crib and she would spring awake and start screaming this was happening over and over until i would finally give up at 3 or 4 in the morning and stick her in bed with us. none of us would sleep well in my bed because we all like to sleep all over the place and we were just so uncomfortable and cramped none of us slept well finally about a week and a half ago i decided this had to stop because i needed sleep i was exhausted! so i fed her dinner at her usual time and gave her a bath and let her play for about a half hour until she was really sleepy, fussing and rubbing her eyes and trying to lay down on me and i put her in her crib and turn on some low music and sat right by her crib and read her a bedtime story while she screamed at me and when i finished her story i read a book quietly so she would get the point that im not abandoning her, im right there but i wasnt going to pick her up. it was SOOO hard. she cried for 45 min then fell asleep. i was so happy and then she actually slept all night in her own crib i was elated! so we have been doing it for a week and a half now and each night i move the chair a little further away from her crib and it takes a little less time for her to fall asleep and each morning she wakes up a little later. now when she wakes up in the night i dont even have to go in there she will cry for a minute and then fall back to sleep on her own. her mood and behavior and even her appetite have improved, i know it sounds harsh but the huge benefits have majorly outweighed a bit of crying at night, tonight she only cried for ten minutes before she was out!

Becca - posted on 01/04/2010

could he have a little bit of water instead of juice... or even make a full milk bottle and separate it into two... that normally works for my son... then again they are all different.. but yes i let him cry for 5 or 10 minutes before i go in...

Laura - posted on 01/04/2010

My son is now just over 8 months and has never slept thru the night! the past few nights i have not picked him up but have gone into him just to give him a drink which he then falls back to sleep with i know that its not good practise to give babies juice thru the night especially in a bottle but he will not drink it out of beakers and when he wakes he does scream blue murder. i have only recently stopped breast feeding him so he was mostly in bed with me as he fed quite alot thru the night any ideas what else i could try?

Hesper - posted on 01/04/2010

I am having the same problem. I am trying to let him cry right now. I, personally, don't want to be rocking him to sleep until he is two years old. Of course, we're all different. I work full time and just can't go without the sleep. My husband and I will let him cry for no more than 10 minutes. And this kid is stubborn. He screams. Then we go in there and lay him back down and rub his back or his head and shush him in a soothing way. He quiets down after a minute and usually within 5 he goes back to sleep.

He was also sleeping through the night until a week and a half ago. I thought it was due to teething and so I was picking him up and rocking him to sleep and then trying to put him back down and he'd turn around and wake up as soon as I went to lay him back down in the crib. He just plain wanted to be next to me. I agree that it is hard. There is nothing worse than listening to my baby cry, but I don't want him to be so attatched. Mommy needs sleep, too!

Jennifer - posted on 01/03/2010

Personally, I think babies cry for a reason. It is their way of communicating (hungry, tired, need to be held, etc), and ignoring that goes against our nature as mothers.

I always pick up my children when they are crying, soothe them until they are calm, and even spend nights rocking them when that is the only way they sleep. My son needed to be rocked to sleep until he was 2 years old, and now has the ability to put himself to sleep with ease. If letting your son cry doesn't feel right, then don't do it. I know I sleep better when my husband sleeps with me, and if he ignored me while I cried I would get pretty frustrated, too. You are the mama - you will figure out something that feels right for you and your family. This may sound terrible, but you are the one that is up in the middle of the night listening to your son screaming, not your mother.

Joy - posted on 01/03/2010

my daughter just turned 9 months old and she is teething big time. she used to sleep through the night like a dream but not anymore. I have been letting her cry for about 15 mins at a time then i go in her room, lay her back down, give her her passy, tell her i love her and i leave. I never pick her up because she would get used to that and want it every time. after i do that a few times she usually goes back to sleep. You just have to be consistant and firm but loving and always very calm because they can sense your anxiety. Hope that helps!