What is the best way to stop your toddler from biting?

Katherine - posted on 05/20/2011

Yikes! When your sweet-faced toddler starts chomping on your arm (or her brother’s) it’s natural to feel alarmed. After all, while biting is a normal developmental phase, it’s not exactly desirable behavior. Here are 5 helpful strategies for putting an end to toddler biting.
1. Identify the Reason for Biting

Since toddlers bite for several distinct reasons (including curiosity, frustration, teething, and to get attention), identifying the cause can help you tailor a more effective response. As Kate C. advised: “Look at WHY he’s biting. Is he frustrated and can't communicate (most common reason kids bite)? Is he exploring sensations and trying to see what it feels like to bite? Is he teething?”
2. Give Consistent Verbal Cues and Consequences

Many Circle of Moms members recommend immediately responding to biting behavior with a consistent verbal response, and then giving consequences. As Lauri Ann P. advises: “Say loudly ‘no biting’ and remove her from the situation. Send her to a time out chair or to a step. You need to be very consistent and very firm. She needs to know Mommy is upset with her.”
3. Model Alternatives

When children bite out of frustration, many Circle of Moms members advise teaching alternate behaviors. Maggie E. explains: “Biting is often a reaction to emotion that the child cannot fully understand and cannot channel in a positive manner...at 18 months, the child is trying to communicate in the only way she thinks she can. Tell her ‘I can see you are really ___ (angry, frustrated, upset, etc.) but it’s not okay to bite your friends. If you need to bite something, you can bite this (and give the child a rubbery toy or teether or necklace.)” Carrie G. also recommends teaching simple verbal communication for frustrating situations: “Model language they can use: ‘NO! Stop! Mine! etc.’ Other phrases that should be modeled: ‘Can I play? Can I use it?’”
4. Address Teething Pain

Often biting behavior is simply a result of teething pain. “A lot of times the child does not realize it hurts the other person because it feels good, particularly if they are teething,” explains Jenn S. “Having cool teething rings… can help the child eliminate discomfort and frustration.” (For more teething tips, see 7 Ways to Soothe a Teething Baby.)
5. Use Attention as a Reward

Many moms suggest using your toddler’s desire for attention to motivate positive behavior. “As hard as it is, try not to draw too much attention to the biting,” recommended Morgan Y. “Sometimes when kids get a reaction, they continue to do it for the attention.” Justine S. agrees: “Focus all attention on the injured child, lots of fuss and love, before dealing with the aggressor so they learn that this is not an effective way to get mum’s attention!” Additionally, mother-of-two Pamela B. emphasizes rewarding positive behavior: “Reward him when he uses words or gentle hands to solve his problems. He will want the praise and start to associate it with the behavior.”

Crystal - posted on 01/23/2011

My daughter started to bite others as well as herself recently and i would gently pop her mouth, not hard at all jst like touching her mouth to get her attention, and tell her "Ow, no bite" or when she would try to bite me i would jump & say Ow, and pretend like i was crying, and she would say "uh-oh mommys crying" and she would actually try to console me and tell me its okay. after a few rounds of this she actually quit biting within a week. i hope this helps, & good luck

Amy - posted on 01/22/2011

aw my little girl has done this for ages now she bites when she is not getting her own way or she claws ur face, shes a lil cow lol. I usually just turned her away so she cant even try to do it I know when she is going to do it now thats how long shes been doing it, I think its just girls aswell. I would not bite her back because it turns it into a game when I bit ava back she just laughed and I bit her hard I was shocked and then she bit me again and laughing and said mummys turn, so I dont think thats a good idea, just tell her no and say u mustnt bite darling because it hurts people and u will make people cry, this usually works with Ava when I can see her trying to bite another child lol.

Carrie - posted on 11/10/2010

My son has been both the child who was bitten and the bitter at his daycare. He has never bitten anyone outside of daycare. In general, when he was bitten, he was doing something to irritate the other child (e.g., trying to take away his toy or invading the child's personal space), and when he was the biter, he was provoked (e.g., another child took his pacifier once or stuck her finger in his mouth). He and his classmates tend to bite when they are teething. The teachers try to make sure the children aren't been aggressive with each other and give them teethers to chew on when they are teething. I don't know what you can do other than that. It's upsetting when your child is bitten and even more so when you have the bitter. However, it does pass, and most kids go through this phase because they are used to explore the world in part through their mouths and because they don't have the ability to express themselves through language yet. We bought the book "No Biting, Biting Hurts!", which also helped.

Amanda - posted on 11/06/2010

My son started biting to...He bit my 9 Month old niece till she was bleeding I didn't know what to do neither about the biting thing cause it's getting frustrated people told me to bite him back but I don't really believe in that

Ink - posted on 10/29/2010

I never had to bite my son to make him stop biting. I cried when he bit me. I screwed up my face, wailed till the windows rattled...rolled around in the floor acting JUST like my son does when HE gets a booboo. I cried, I yelled, "YOU BIT MEEEEEEEEEE!" "WHAAAAAAAAAAAA" I would sit in the floor and sulk and sniffle just like he does. I let him come to me and try to soothe me, roles reversed.
I have been bit TWICE....and he dropped that habit as quick as he picked it up.

Michelle - posted on 10/28/2010

omg i feel you noah has been biting me for forever now! i started smacking him on his hand way back when when he first started it but then after awhile he would just smile and laugh at me i kept yelling no at him and that didn't work i finally gave up tonight when he left teeth marks i grabbed him by his arm dragged him in his room shut the door and held it shut while he screamed bloody murder for 2 minutes i timed it and then let him out and told him it wasn't nice to bite mommy and gave him a kiss it completely redirected what he was doing and he came out not looking to bite me again where as when i would smack his hand or tell him no 2-5 minutes late he would be biting me again. That put an end to the biting for the night. I learned something very awsome tonight time out does work i plan on using it more often lol

Lori - posted on 10/28/2010

When my son started biting people told me the same thing about biting him back & I didn't like that idea either. I would always squeeze his cheeks in as he is opening his mouth about to bite. Not hard enough to really hurt him, just hard enough that it was uncomfortable. Kind of like pushing his cheeks in between his teeth, it made him very frustrated. Whenever I did this I'd also say "No bite" in a very firm voice. It seemed to work after a while and now he very rarely tries to bite us anymore. Good luck!

Laurette - posted on 10/28/2010

Trust me biting them back is the only way, they don't understand that biting hurts until it does. Two of my friends little ones also bit and until the bit each other the biting carried on forever. As soon as they where bitten back it stopped. The thing is that not many moms are understanding about biters and you could loose alot of friends.

Shemia - posted on 10/23/2010

i would it too, my son was biting and i just bite him back and he started crying and i told him that it was wrong dont bite and he doesnt bite anymore

Rachael - posted on 10/19/2010

my older son bit all the time didn't matter who u were my youngest is just starting this biting lark but only my older son I try not to take the now you know how it feels road, when he does it I squirt lemon juice in his mouth it stops him in his tracks I get a dirty look but he remembers it when he goes to bite again

Latoya - posted on 10/18/2010

Try distracting her. I'm a toddler teacher and when we get a bitter, we make sure to keep them busy at all times. Also, most babies bite because they are unable to communicate with their words so try to look for signs of frustration. I don't believe in biting back. It could work or it could make things worse.

Braxi - posted on 10/15/2010

I honestly would go with bite them back. When my daughter did this, I would bite gently back, and say " Ow. Biting hurts." and that seemed to get her out of doing it. Telling her it's wrong and that it hurts other people is also a good idea.