Falling asleep on his own.

Vicky - posted on 07/02/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My son is 11 weeks and seems like he cant fall asleep on his own, as if he has to relay on me to make him go to sleep, I always have to rock/cuddle him to sleep. Though he's fine at night after his last feed, he just falls asleep then i put him in his cot. It would be so much easier if he could just fall asleep on his own. Anybody else with the same problem? how can i change this?

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Susan - posted on 07/22/2010

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@ Kayla, How many night have you tired. The first few are REALLY hard, and long. But it took us 4 solid nights before we saw any results. Try looking it up on the web, there are several methods you can try that might work better for you and your LO. Good Luck!

Susan - posted on 07/02/2010

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Honestly, most people do not like the answer to this. But it's let them cry. It takes a few days, then walla, they go to sleep on their own because they know you will not come in and get them. They will never learn this if they know that they can cry and you will pick them up. Why would they?

Now there are a few methods to this. What I did was put him down after his last feeding and when he started crying I would go in pick him up, calm him down (without talking or making eye contact) then put him down again. The first night I did this every 10 minute until he fell asleep (took 3 hours, yes 3 hours). Next night I went in every 15 minutes, 3rd night every 20, and the 4th night every 30. By the 5th night he fell asleep on his own with out a peep. And has ever since, and its been 7 weeks now. He also sleeps through the night too.

And before anyone starts getting upset about 'don't let them cry', this is one method, she asked for options so I am giving her one. This WORKS, this is my second child and second time of doing it. This is how my pediatrician told me to do it, and he as helped thousands of parents.

So I'm sure there are a ton of ways, this is what worked for ME, and I love that I get the whole night, every night sleep. I work full time, so it's a must. Good luck with what ever you try.

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Kate - posted on 08/02/2010

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The reason the cry-it-out method "works" is because babies give up. Go into an orphanage where the carer:child ratio is just rediculous, and you'll find masses of babies who don't cry. Why? because they've learnt that no-one will come when they cry. That to me is incredibly sad.
I'm probably going to get a lot of people mad at me for saying this, but please PLEASE do NOT let your baby "cry it out"! The method was originally developed for babies OVER 6 MONTHS (google it and check with the original Ferber method). It was never intended to be used on babies younger than this.
The other problem is that research has shown that babies who are not responded to when they cry, end up with higher levels of adrenalin/cortisone hormones in their system, which in turn makes them even HARDER to settle because their fight or flight reflex is then more sensitive.
Babies under 3 months are supposedly unable to self-soothe. If this is the case, they will need your help settling down. At around 3 months, start getting your baby into a "settling" or "wind-down" routine before every nap. Research has shown that even newborns can anticipate a pattern if shown one a number of times, so if you get them into a "wind-down" routine, they will realise "ok, time to sleep now" and eventually all you will need to do is run through the routine and they'll switch off and fall asleep. I did this with both my kids and it worked.
When you see the first yawn/sleepy signs, make sure they are full and have a clean nappy, then swaddle / give them a dummy / whatever you have noticed calms them. Hold them / rock them until you see their eyes starting to fall closed. Then gently set them down in the cot.
In 3 days of doing this at every nap time, you should see a very big change.
I'm sorry if I offended anyone with my remarks re crying it out, but this is something I have researched extensively and I don't think it's fair to suggest it without saying please look into it first.

Katie - posted on 07/31/2010

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My little girl will just talk until she falls asleep at night. However, for naps she won't go to sleep on her own. I'm not sure how to get her to take naps without either nursing her or rocking her to sleep.

Kayla - posted on 07/30/2010

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Susan,i've tried now for 3 nights.. plus some day naps... imma try a few more nights but we'll see

Ash-lyn - posted on 07/23/2010

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hi, as a childcare worker i find as soon as u can establish a routine that suits you the easy it is, harper was the same but i just let him cry for about 15min and now he falls asleep on his own but its important for everyone that looks after him that they too follow your sleep pattern which i know can be difficult due to people not wanting him to cry and wanting to pick him up but a little cry never hurts them and he will eventually learn that once im fed and had a cuddle its bed time, keep the same pattern nightly and avoid any distractions in the bedroom. I hope that helps a little just remember you set the routine and dont let bub call the shots or you'll be giving in always. Its not being a bad mum to let him cry that fact that u worry makes u a great mum, goodluck

Ashley - posted on 07/22/2010

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susan method does work thats what we do with our little one as well. she can lay in her bed crying all she wants.i feed her burp make sure she is done eating when she looks tired i put her in her crib and let her lay there if she tired she will try to fight herself out of it. but then she falls asleep.. it is very hard not to go to your little one while crying understandable.. but my daughter also figure out if she cries she gets what she wants at such a little age. this is my second child as well and i've did the hold and go to sleep and then they don't want nothing to do with laying down they have to be in your arms no matter what. that was with my first. but with my second the not hold me stage is doing really good

Leslie - posted on 07/22/2010

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Hey guys... just to let you know what worked for me. At bed, as my wee one went to be fairly well while being rocked and fed and then slept for 6 hours, I just let her fall asleep while feeding. However, during the day she would never nap. So I started with the cry it out method. Every 2 hours after she wakes up, I take her into her room and rocker for a while while feeding her and making sure she is dozy. Then I place her in her bed. Sometimes she goes right to sleep and someimes she crys for a while. But I leave her for a min 15 minuted, then check on her. If she is still crying I lay my hands on her and tell her I love her until she settles. Then I leave the room again. Normally she will scream even louded for a few short minutes, but then fall soundly asleep. I find she sleeps much longer if she falls a sleep on her own. Sometimes she wakes up around 30 or 40 minutes into her nap and I just let her fuss for a while. Normally she goes back to sleep before 15 minuted. If she get progressively louder I go in and get her up. Also I play the same quiet music every time she sleep (day and night).

Z is just now starting to get fussier at night and I am thinking of starting the same method at night. We shall see. I think the most important thing is to know you options and read your baby. Stick to one method for about 1 week and if things aren't getting better or even getting worse, change things up. You know your baby best... and remember they will thrive... a lot of this is for our sanity!

Cyndi - posted on 07/22/2010

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i love susans idea, i have the same problem. unless i cuddle, pat, and rock her all at the same time she will scream bloody murder. i would go with her idea, im going to try it.

Kayla - posted on 07/21/2010

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Nope, didnt work for me susan! He kept crying for like 5 hours and i finally got tired and rocked him. lol

Nicole - posted on 07/03/2010

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yeah my little girl (shes 13 weeks )never goes to sleep unless i pat/cuddle her to sleep but she sleeps a lot better and longer when i do maybe its an age thing i really dont know! i know how u feel though i'd love it if she fell asleep on her own!

Susan - posted on 07/02/2010

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During the day I let him fall asleep whenever he wants. But lately he is fighting more and more going to sleep. So if gets to the point were he is fed, clean and I've tried to rock/comfort him to sleep. I'll just lay him down while crying, but pat or put my hand on him until he falls asleep. But I make day sleep different than night sleep. So he knows as soon as I lay him in the crib, it's time to sleep the night. Naps in the day he sleeps in the swing, on the sofa or in my bed. Basically anywhere I can see him (he naps on his belly, and sleeps at night on his back). But he is going to daycare on this coming Tue, so we'll see what happens.

Kayla - posted on 07/02/2010

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I have the same problem.. and if I dont hold him a certain way, or if someone else is holding him he screams bloody murder!! Imm trywhat Susan said. Susan: Do you do it for like nap times during the day, too??

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