Is anyone else dealing with a clingy baby?

Char - posted on 03/17/2011 ( 23 moms have responded )

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My daughter has developed a new phase. Clingy! She cries whenever I am out of her sight or if I put her down. I didn't have this issue with my older two. Anyone have any advice?

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Veronica - posted on 03/20/2011

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I dealt with this since day 1. It's normal to have separation anxiety for a little one. In fact, my doc says it's a sign of maturity. They finally realize they are independent of you and the very idea of it is quite scary for them. They don't understand time like we do, but will catch on in time. If your little one can crawl, it helps, but they still cry as they crawl to wherever you are located. For me, the worst was when I was doing dishes. Then I would put my son in a high chair so he could see what I was doing and that kept him happy through most of the dishes. I also used a walker (as long as there are baby gates so it can't fall down stairs or anything). It helped him to know he could get to me faster. That was when he wasn't as fast at crawling though. Always let them know when you are leaving the room. NEVER ESCAPE. It backfires b/c then they will ALWAYS have their eyes on you to make sure you don't disappear "like the last time." I also would say, "Mommy's going potty." Now my son somehow senses that potty means mommy comes back in a few minutes. It took some time, but at least I could have a few minutes in the 'throne' room alone. If my son cried, I always gave him immediate attention when I could. If I let it go for more than 5 minutes, it would take twice as long to calm him down b/c by then he was just plain pissed off from being ignored. I also verbally would say stuff like, "You want your mommy, don't you?" or "I see you're upset." It will help long-term when your child can speak and can express his feelings with words rather than cries. I'd check his diaper, that he ate, wasn't sick or in pain, gave him a hug, and then IMMEDIATELY went back to what I was doing. If you spend too much time giving cuddles after the tantrum, they will continue to do it just for the cuddles. My son would eventually realize it wasn't worth it to cry so much when mommy would only check on him for a sec and go back to what she was doing. Good luck. Hang in there. It can last a few weeks to up till about 2 years old. It all depends. My son still has his moments, but it's usually when he just wakes up from a nap or when mommy or daddy leave the house and that's it. Mobility has a lot to do with it. A blessing and a curse!

Tami - posted on 04/17/2011

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How old is she? It's just a phase... hold her. She needs you and she will grow out of it soon. Then you'll wish you could hold her again & she'll be secure and independent. :)

Jenna - posted on 03/28/2011

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Make sure that she is in a safe place and let her cry. My son does it too. The best thing that I do since I am a stay at home mom and he is around me all the time is to make sure that he gets and hour a day with someone else whether it be the gym daycare, dad, aunt, grandparent, anyone else besides me. It is a phase, it goes away as long as you don't give in all the time. I watched that with my neice and she is still super clingy, can't go over to anyones house without mommy and she is 3. Set up the rules now, it will save you in the long run.

Ashley - posted on 03/25/2011

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its okay to let her cry for a little she prob needs to learn to self soothe. Put some of her fav. toys around she'll end up playing with them eventually. or food always works for my son. lol

Briany - posted on 03/18/2011

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You're definitely not on your own, my dd is at that stage too! But she is walking now so she follows me around anyway, but we have a set of 4 steps which are quite steep and a barricade of beanbags so when i go down them she will try to climb over so either i have to bring her down the stairs with me and put her on the ground to walk with me or wait until she is engrossed with something in the loungeroom so that i can quickly put on a load of washing or get something from her bedroom or take the rubbish out. It's harder i guess with the littler ones but im sure its just a faze. They will get over it and having others doing it at the same time i would think that they are all doing it because they can and they are copying each other and know that they will get the attention! :)

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23 Comments

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Rob - posted on 12/13/2012

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Hi im prob the only dad on here but consider myself quite a paternal one, our son went a bit clingy at 9 months for about a week when he started at the child minders but we just left him to it like we normally do, then he was fine after. he still gets his fair share of cuddles of everyone anyway. But i dont agree with hold them all the time, like my neice is 16 months old and is very clingy cus they keep picking her up all the time she only has to put her arms up and gets picked up instantly so she doesn't throw a tantrum. but we've never had this problem with our boy he doesn't like being held too much anyway and we've always left him on his own for periods when he was first born. But does she have a dummy (aka pacifier) or any other sort of comforter. Try setting her some cuddle times throughout the day (doesn't have to be specific scheduled time) just as long as its spread out

Jessica - posted on 08/30/2012

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im having the same problem but it is ex stream i cant go any were without him wanting me to hold him if i put him down he screams i have to take him to the toilet with me even trying to put him to bed has become a problem he crys so bad that he starts vomiting and wont stop im even having trouble trying to get my other kids ready for school as i cant even make there lunches with him wanting me,my daughter has to hold him and stand next to me while i make there lunches,and it really starting to effect me with bad depression as my house is a big mess and i have no time to myself.I really hope it stops soon.

Lauren - posted on 06/27/2011

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My daughter is almost 17 months old, and still incredibly clingy. she cries when she isnt at least 6 inches from me, and screams whenever her dad tries to hold her or pick her up. This really hurts his feelings, and we don't know what to do about it. Any advice?

Char - posted on 04/18/2011

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Thank you for the helpful suggestions and the sharing of stories. It is great to know others are going through this as well and those who have been there can give us a little help. I appreciate you all.

Jessica - posted on 04/16/2011

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my daughter has always been climgy since she was born.my doc says it is normal and personally i like it even though my back is messed up.but she follows me around in her walker,plays in her playpen or sits in her highchair and eats like crazy as long as im in the same room she usually does ok.unless she is tired or not feeling well.but hey soon they will grow up and wont want to be around us they will have there own lives and well miss them following us everywhere.Teenage years are the hard years these are the fun ones dont forget that and take advantage of it while you can

Leeann - posted on 04/09/2011

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i know what you are going through since the day my son was born he always wanted mom24/7, he even had to sleep with me or he wouldn't go to bed which i know is a very big no no but i needed sleep for work so i gave in. i do have some good news though, he is finally braking away now that he can walk and do more things on his own. he still has his moments but not even close to what it used to be, so hang tough :)

Leeann - posted on 04/09/2011

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i know what you are going through since the day my son was born he always wanted mom24/7, he even had to sleep with me or he wouldn't go to bed which i know is a very big no no but i needed sleep for work so i gave in. i do have some good news though, he is finally braking away now that he can walk and do more things on his own. he still has his moments but not even close to what it used to be, so hang tough :)

Christia - posted on 03/25/2011

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I am having this problem, as well. She has been walking since she was 9 months and that's is basically when it started! The hardest part is when I am trying to cook! I get so worried about her getting burned or grease popping off the stove and landing on her! I pick her up, take her to the next room (where she can still see me), and give her a toy. I then tell her that Mommy has to be in the kitchen and it's not safe for her. It works sometimes, other times, it doesn't. It all depends on how tired she is or if she is hungry or not feeling well. My son never did this, but there was usually someone else there to help keep him occupied. My sister would come over all the time and help me with him when his Dad was at work. I don't have her here this time, as she moved to FL and we live in MI. When the hubby is home, she clings to him. So, it's nice to get a little break sometimes.

Sandy - posted on 03/24/2011

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both my kids went through this for a short time. It's a normal separation anxiety phase. or i'm pretty sure its normal, and it does end!

Holly - posted on 03/22/2011

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Luckily, both my children are not clingy, but I've heard many do different ways like for example: have your spouse take over and you leave the room or leave out plenty of her "FAVE" toys for her to play with in the same room you are in. Good luck:-)

Annemie - posted on 03/22/2011

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Sorry no ADVICE. I am in the same situation. My first born was not this clinging. Ryan also started this recently. It doesn't matter with who he is, as soon as I leave the room he starts crying for me. Eish...

Char - posted on 03/21/2011

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Thank you all for your support. Her newest caper is to follow me around the house in the walker. She has discovered it is much faster than crawling!

Jolijn - posted on 03/20/2011

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I've read that it has to do with attachment to you which means you are doing a great job! Every child is different so they deal with these issues in different ways. I have and had the same problem with both my sons and learned it will pass it will take a while though. talking to her and let her know what you are doing will help a bit so will distracting her. Taking in consideration that it will pass and there will come a time that they don't want you around so much I would say try and enjoy it as much as you can. Good luck!

Liz - posted on 03/17/2011

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My daughter is at the tai end of this phase. It lasted 2 months. I just let her know I'm goin to the other room and talk to her while I'm in there. Or put her favorite toys by my feet when I'm doin something so she will play. Sometimes it works. Lol

Charity - posted on 03/17/2011

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I don't really have any advice but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. My son is also in a clingy phase a clingy mommy phase at that. Its hard to get anything done when half the time he wont even go to dad. Maybe they will outgrow it soon.

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