Letting baby Cry It Out

Micky - posted on 11/11/2010

Wow really, try to be nice, this mother is asking for advice, not to be condemned.

Allison - posted on 11/10/2010

We tried the CIO once with our first. Never again. It doesn't feel right to us, and we parent our children by what feels right, not what other people tell us to do. If your baby needs cuddles, I would suggest giving her cuddles, or just pat her back without picking her up. The reassurance that you're there when she needs you may be all she needs. If there is change going on at home, she may regress too.

Shannon - posted on 11/10/2010

IMO, the CIO method disgusts me. My LO is nearly 7 months, and NEVER cries. Ever. He whines... If he's hungry, tired etc. and when he is ready to wake up after sleeping. But I have never put him down in a situation where he would even need to cry.
I really don't understand why the CIO method should even need to exist TBH.
You should put a baby to bed when they are tired and ready to sleep. My baby boy to begin with would fall asleep on the bottle, til he was about 4 months. Then as he got older, he would finish his bottle and I would rock him to sleep in my arms after burping him, then put him down. If he woke before I managed to get him in his crib, I would stand there rocking him, snuggling, singing and stroking him until he went back off. Now he's nearly 7 months; he stays awake after burping, I carry him up and put him in his crib, awake, and he snuggles his teddy, pops his thumb in his mouth and I kiss him goodnight. He falls asleep on his own.
And that is something he's learned on his own.

I was a big CIO method hater, and I'm glad to see in my own little way I have disproved it. Even if he still hadn't learned to put himself to sleep, I would still rock him. His HAPPINESS is what's important to me.

Amanda - posted on 11/09/2010

I tried the CIO method for a few days but it didn't work for us neither. By far the best method for us has been the controlled crying method. Like Vanessa Williams said it worked great! My son now goes to sleep on his own and the only time he cries is if he is either not tired enough or overtired. For the most part he just falls right asleep when i put him in his crib.

Djrianna - posted on 11/09/2010

CIO is EVIL. If you feel wrong doing it, it's because it is wrong. I would take advantage of the fact that she needs her mommy to go to sleep. This is the time you have to cuddle with her for bedtime, when she gets older it'll be gone. Babies this age don't know how to self soothe. If hey fall asleep it's because they give up, they realize their mom or dad isn't going to save them. Rock her to sleep, nurse to her sleep...one day she'll learn to sleep on her own, babies don't need to be trained, they need to be nurtured. They learn what they need to learn when they are ready.

Sally - posted on 11/09/2010

My personal opinion is do what your feel is right. If you feel it's wrong to let her cry, then don't do it. Especially if she's a happy baby, why deprive her of a cuddle and the comfort of going to sleep in her mom's arms? The world is a harsh place, babies don't need to be exposed to that just yet...they can experience comfort and love right at home right now ;) I also once read an article that said the happiest babies were african babies, cos they're always tied to their moms, cuddled up, feeling their mom's warmth and hearing her heartbeat.That's just my opinion.Hope it helps.

Jael - posted on 11/06/2010

If the tone of her crying changes or you honestly think she is scared or in trouble there is no harm going in to check on her but try to comfort her without feeding her. Check her diaper, I know having a wet diaper bothers my LO a lot and she will not go to sleep again if it is wet. Also my daughter still has to sleep in her car-seat most nights because she is rolling over and able to move so much it upsets her she likes to be snug. You could try to swaddle again only for bedtimes. I might try that too. I hope you have some luck I have to go through sleep training again the last week it seems like my 6 month old is waking up 10 times a night. . . whew!

Micky - posted on 11/06/2010

My in laws used to try to pressure me into lettiing my LO cry himself to sleep until they realized that I wasn't to be swayed. I know the feeling of letting your baby wail, and I know how much it hurts. I'm not saying that it's cruel, because it's not. But I really do believe that it only really works when they're old enough to understand discipline. These are just my views and I respect your strength.

Kris - posted on 11/06/2010

She's not always going to be dependent on you to go to sleep if you use other methods. If it feels wrong to you to CIO then that should tell you something. I'm not going to say I haven't tried it, I did with my oldest and not only did it not work, but things got worse for us after. I suggest reading the No Cry Sleep Solution... but either way our kids are still babies at this point, and babies are not meant to sleep through the night as a general rule (enjoy it if it happens of course!).

Casey - posted on 11/05/2010

You are the best judge of your baby girl. Mine is the same way when I do the cry it out method. Sometimes she'll be fine and other times she'll freak BUT i found if I go into check on her it makes it 100 times worse. I don't let her cry it out at nap time b/c she can't handle it for whatever reason but at night it usually works. BUT if her cry gets desperate and horrible I rush in. My doctor told me as long as she sees you and is smiling in the morning she is fine.

Sarah - posted on 11/04/2010

I never let my 6month old cry for more than 2-3 minutes. To me at his age if he's crying he needs something. My son sleeps 13 hours a night in his own room in his crib. He goes right to sleep when we lay him down at night (for him the key is putting him down BEFORE he is exhausted, timing is everything) It wasn't always that easy. At 8 weeks i started putting him in his bassinet drowsy but awake and soothing and comforting him (rubbing his belly or head, singing, rocking the bassinet, whatever worked) until he fell asleep. He would fuss but i just kept soothing him and not picking him up until he would fall asleep. After 2 weeks of doing that every night he finally learned to fall asleep on his own. Now after a bath and a story we lay him in bed, turn out the lights and he's asleep within 5-10 minutes every single night :) hope that helps, it sure did with us!

Amanda - posted on 11/03/2010

I have tried the CIO method on my daughter many times, and it's worked here and there, but she's cried for over and HOUR. I just could not do it anymore. I am still nursing and she's 7 months now. I usually have to go in once or twice and nurse her back to sleep and I am Ok with that. Like I say to other people, she's not going to be 2 or 3 and still need to be nursed back to sleep. She goes to sleep fine usually right around 7, so I know she can put herself to sleep OK.

Lydia - posted on 11/03/2010

follow your heart. if you think it's cruel, don't let her cry.
i never used the cio method, because i also think it's cruel and my daughter usually goes to sleep with no fuss. i used to nurse her to sleep (which sometimes still happens if she is over her time and hungry and tired or sick) but usually i'll just put her in her crib when she's tired and she'll go to sleep. it kind of happened without any method. i simply startet putting her to bed when she looked tired.

i think for some the CIO works, but i think sometimes it can do more damage than good. if your child feels scared or needs some time to cuddle with you and you let her cry, that's real just cruel and will not make sleeping on her own easy. it can turn to the oposite and make the bed a scary place and bedtime a bad experience.

Amanda - posted on 11/03/2010

I had this problem with Sierra, too. I tried the CIO at 4 months, and she just wouldn't settle.

When she rubs her eyes I began to ask her, "Is it time for a nap?" "Is it bedtime?" I found that she began babbling to me, non coherent at first, but now she'll babble babanainai (bottle/night-night). So I would say, "OK, let's put on your jammies, and read books, and have a bottle, and have a night-night. OK?" And she calmed right down when I started the process. Gradually I was able to put her down semi-awake, and now she's usually fully awake when she goes in her crib. On those days when she fought it, I told her, "You can either go to sleep with Mommy, or you can go to sleep by yourself." And she would either put her head on my shoulder, or lean away from me, towards her crib.

She's now almost 7 months, and knows what's expected of her at bedtime. It's been a VERY rough 3 months, but now I can go out somewhere in the evening by myself, and Daddy can put her to bed with complete sucess! This weekend will be her first babysitter (my brother), so we'll see how she sleeps for someone else!!

I will say that bedtime has come easier for us than naptime, perhaps because it's a longer process, and she has more time to accept it and begin to get drowsy...? I still let her dictate her own schedule for naps and bedtime (always have), but when she rubs her eyes I'm very firm about naptime/bedtime. She's such an independent girl (a nice way of saying stubborn!!), so I feel like this is a good way to give her some control.

Good luck with yours!

Noel - posted on 11/01/2010

first i will say that i belive everyone has the right to raise their child the way they want and see fit.however, i must say, it hurts my heart to know that there is a little baby out there whose mommy is purposely ignoring their cry,for whatever the reason.it just makes me sad.babies cry for a reason,it is their way of communicating with us..communicating a need.if that need is a diaper changing,a feeding or a snuggle from mom or dad, isn't each one just as important?attachment parenting is not for everyone, but i urge you to do some research about it if you are having those feelings.it is not always easy, however it has been proven to create more secure and independent individuals. i have put my 22 month old and my 6 month old to sleep every night of their lives, give or take a few nights when their dad actually helped me and the night i gave birth to my 6 month old, my older boy spent the night at my moms house, so one night my 22 month old comes to me and says good night,gives me a kiss and just walks right to bed and goes to sleep.i was in shock.now, that was only one night but my point in saying that is that is doesnt last forever.there are ways to slowly intitiate independence in all areas if that is what you choose.ultimately, i think it is whatever you are comfortable with but you are obviously having some doubts and the urge to respond to your baby is totally natural.i encourage you to follow your heart.god bless you.

Melissa - posted on 11/01/2010

My son i3 6 months. we have been using CIO since 4 months as well... most of the time its a cinch, but yes sometimes he cries. the cry is minimal n then he falls asleep. if he is tired (from his cues, not the clock) then i will let him cry. i can usually tell a hysterical cry from a tired cry. if hes hysterical (mayb a misread sign on my part or him not realizing he is tired) he will not go to sleep. i will either hold him n calm him down til he gives a cue or ply w/ him until the cue shows again. BUT THEN ITS NAPTIME CRYING OR NOT!! and he ALWAYS goes!! CIO is a HUGE success for us too!!! stick with it, i know its hard, but sooo worth it! u wont have that as a hard habit to break!

Paola - posted on 11/01/2010

My baby girl is 6 months old and I have let her cry it out a hand full of time. I have noticed that if I put her to bed, whether it is nap or bedtime, 10-15 minutes before she should be sleeping she doesn't cry. She plays with her toys and drifts off to sleep all on her own. She does fuss a little bit. Sometimes she cries at night after I finish nursing her, but usually is because she need to be burped and then I put her back in her crib and she falls I sleep.

I just have to say do what feels right to you. If hearing her cry bothers you, because it does to me (I don't let her get to the point where she is histerical). then don't do it. Follow your motherly instinct.

Roimee - posted on 11/01/2010

the CIO method will surely not work for my son when he screams instead of crying and also his coughing when he cries a lot...and that scares me! His 6mos now and i still rock him to sleep and sing to him, i`m sure there will come a time that he will learn to sleep by himself. Your not alone mommy katie in this phase. :)

Titilola - posted on 10/31/2010

I have tried the CIO method with my 6 months old daughter too and it broke my heart hearing her cry and she didnt stop, I was concerned she might get sick, so I picked her up and the next morning, a neighbour asked if my baby was alright coz she heard her crying so much in the night, I didnt like that. I have decided to just go with the flow for now and I'm coming to accept that I have a napper instead of a sleeper coz she only sleeps for very short periods whether she's on her own or I'm sleeping beside her.
I think you should go with what works for you and your baby. Like one of the other mums' said, if you were living in a place without all the books, would you let your baby cry herself to sleep? One thing I know is this is just a phase in their growing up stage and one day, she will go to sleep on her own, so I have decided to be there for her through it all.I know it gets very tiring for us(mums) but it will get easier. Good luck

Elisha - posted on 10/31/2010

I think each child is different with my oldest boy who is 4yrs old now did really well with letting him cry himself to sleep with in 2 mins he was sound asleep but my youngers son who is almost 7 months is completely different if he's not ready for a nap he'll scream till someone comes and gets him I've learned with him once he gets to the point where mommy holding him doesn't calm him down its time for a nap I've also learned that he doesn't like to sleep on his back as long as I lay him down on his side he usually falls right to sleep before I even walk out the door. I stick to a 5 min limit if either one of them cry for longer than 5 min's I go and get him I don't think its safe to let them cry longer than that because mine cry hard enough to where they forget to breath and that just scares me.

Sharon - posted on 10/31/2010

we used this method with our son. He is nearly 7 months now and it was great for him. We started when he was about 3 months. we'd put him into his cot awake and if he cried one of us would go in pick him up and re-assure him and once he stopped crying put him back in. This took about 2 nights for him to realise that we would come in if he needed us and that we were not just abandoning him. He now goes to bed at 7 or 7.30 and sleeps till about 7am. It worked well for us but i know some people find it very hard to let their child cry. I did to so this is why we used the pick up and sooth method instead of just leaving him cry himself to sleep.

Marcia - posted on 10/29/2010

I went to a sleep seminar where I live. It was also this method however I found it worked well. My son was sleeping threw the night with this method from the time he was 2 months old. I know one thing the lady said was to not enter the room after you put her down, and it was so hard to not do that, but after the 3rd night he has never cried when we lay him down at night.
She stressed a routine was very important. I'm not sure if you have her going to bed at the same time every night but our son goes for a bath at 7pm and then a bottle (she said to feed them about 45 minutes before bed) so we did that and now he sleeps like a charm. The first night was bad to listen to him cry and not go in and see him.
I think in the long run it is better for them to learn to go to sleep on their own.
My son is 6 1/2 months old as well and sometimes when i lay him down during the day for a nap he plays for a while then goes to sleep. He will also sometimes play for about 5-10 minutes at night but the person who put on the seminar said to never put them to sleep in your arms and lay them down because they will get use to that and then always need that to go to sleep, so I just let him play. I think you just need to keep doing what your doing. Maybe her crying is her way of just falling asleep.
my son uses his thumb to go to sleep with I dont like it but its his way of self soothing.
I think as long as she's not screaming in pain or hungry then all should be ok

Kelly - posted on 10/29/2010

You do not have to let your baby cry, it is okay to comfort your baby to sleep. I could not imagine forcing my baby to cry himself to sleep. That would break my heart. I know it is so hard to know what to do with so many different 'experts' out there touting their different theories and methods. I would suggest you follow your own instincts. If you lived on a deserted island and there were no "experts" or books to read about various methods would you let your baby cry it out? We practice attachment parenting wich focuses on building a nurturing, trusting relationship with our child. If you are interested in this method, check out gentlechristianmothers.com or askdrsears.com. Hope this helps, good luck and God bless.

Kayla - posted on 10/28/2010

I went to my sons 6 month appt and the doctor told me the only way i could get my baby to sleep through the night is to let him cry it out. I did it for about a week and i couldnt handle it anymore and I gave up. Its just not worth it to me.

Vanessa - posted on 10/28/2010

I did controlled crying with both of mine and have found it fantastic! Once they had settled into a pattern of going to sleep on their own (which only took about 2 days of controlled crying) I found that they only cried if I had put them down a little early or sometime when I had left it too late. Those times she cries is she overtired or not tired enough? May be the reason why she cries sometimes.
I'd stick to it - I find it makes for a lot more time to spend with my first child as I don't have to nurse my second to sleep. Your little one will be right crying - and you do check on them every 10mins.
Good luck, hope it works out for you

Myetta - posted on 10/28/2010

I used t nurse my now 6 month old daughter to sleep. But the last 4 weeks she's just started going to sleep when she's ready so I just nurse her and put her in her chair and she drifts off..if she wkes up I usually will try to console her...I personally hate hearing my baby cry at night. Anything could be the problem, she may just not be able to get comfy, so I usually hold her until she drifts back off. She goes to daycare during the day and does fine at daycare and doens' tneed to be held 24/7, so I keep holding her at home when she fussed at bedtime

Cheryn - posted on 10/27/2010

My son ( who is now 5) was the most terrible sleeper, night and day!! I tried the crying it out thing and he woke up with a temp of 39 C- he was fine when i put him down!! I never did it again!! I didn't do it with my daughter and I won't do it with my latest one!! Both of my eldest go to sleep by themselves now- so it's not a problem!! I just feel they are too little at 6 months to understand why they have been abandoned! When they are older and they can understand it is sleep time and you are just in the next room- it's far less traumatic for them and me!! broke my heart to hear my baby cry soooo much the one time i tried it!

Jessica - posted on 10/27/2010

i put my daughter to sleep i cant handle to hear her cry if i can help it but everyone is differeent and i will always be the mom yo read bedtime stories so im ok with needing to help her get to sleep when she is older b ut if shes not grying to to long a period its not hurting her so it depends on what u want

Sheri - posted on 10/27/2010

Be glad that it works sometimes if at all! My 6 mo old daughter doesn't respond well to this method at all. I will let her cry & she will just continue to cry. I will wait 10 mins then go check on her & she'll calm down soon as she sees me, but once I leave out again - she starts crying again. So I usually just lay next to her for about 5 mins & she'll go on to sleep then I can get up & leave her but she will not go to sleep on her own every time. It doesn't bother me to let her cry it out b/c I know I have thing s to take care of & she's going to cry a lot. She'll be okay... She wakes up 2-3 times at night for a 4 oz bottle anyway so I've just accepted the fact that I have a light-sleeper. I think most times she just wants to smell me & she's content, other times she has to touch my face & hold my fingers to soothe herself to sleep. She'll be okay if you let her cry it out & it's easier on you so you don't have to always stop what you're doing to get her to sleep & can rest yourself! good luck!