My son STILL doesn't sleep through the night. help?

Gloria - posted on 05/09/2012

my son is also two and wakes up a few times during the night even as a baby he woke up like seriously every hour ! i have tried the cry it out method , it worked to get him to sleep but it didn't work during the night time wakings he would just scream and kick and throw fits. i also have no idea what to do i thought to keep letting him cry and maybe he'd get the hang of it but it breaks my heart. sorry i wasn't much help but i can relate to what you're going through . . i'm also a full time student.

Veronica - posted on 05/05/2012

Girl! I know the feeling. Ok. Try this. First, is his room a place that you play? If not, make it one. Make it his. Toys, etc, so he's comfy. Check your temperature. If you have a time, make sure the temp goes up slightly around 4am. The body temp tends to drop around that time. Keep the temp btwn 69-72 at it's warmest. Also, make it dark and quiet. Dont use a night light. I slept ONE night with him and discovered it was freezing at night and that at around 5:30 am we had a rock band of birds singing that was waking him up. Never could fix the bird noise. I guess we could get a white noise machine, but we ended up moving his room as the room above the garage had no insulation. I Keep the ritual down to 30 minutes before putting them down. Give them status up dates in this structure. Now we are reading a book, and then we will brush our teeth. Now we will brush our teeth and go to bed.... Also, I noticed my kids woke up for bath time, so I started giving them baths in the morning, but I'm a stay at home mom, so I have that luxury. When you put them down, say night-night. Leave the room. They will immediately start crying. Ignore it. You know they are clean, dry and not sick. They only want you. Let him cry till he stops crying for 15 minutes minimum. When he first wakes up, let him cry for 5 minutes before even going to him. He won't know he can soothe himself if he isn't given the time to try. Then go in armed. Have a diaper, wipes (use only for poo as the coldness can wake them up completely), check tummy for constipation, and temperature and that the sheets are dry without hard toys inside." No talking and no more than a 1-one thousand second hug upon entry. I use the hug to check the diaper btw. Then lay them down and say Night-Night and nothing else and leave the room. He'll cry as soon as you let go. Ignore it!!! When he cries again, you know the only pain he's feeling is actually anger that you are not doing what he wants. When he continues to wake up, let him cry it out. If you have to get an ear plug for one ear only. It muffles, but does not get rid of the entire crying. Close your door or leave it open. Either way, make it so you can softly hear his crying. Use a loud cry to determine what works best that just subtly wakes you up. It hurts your heart to hear him cry. He's mad; not hurt. If it's been at least 3 hours, then repeat, but do not say a word. Not even say night night and what every you do, do not give hugs or spend any time in there except to try once to lie him down and then leave. Put a child lock on the door so he can't get out. If that freaks you out, then think back to when he was in a crib and couldn't climb out. Nothing wrong with that, right?! The room just became a huge crib. IF he can use the child lock like ours can, then lock the door and put they key on the door frame. If he gets out of bed, let him. He can sleep on the floor. He will eventually realize that's not comfortable and will climb back in bed. He may bang the door. Put cardboard on the lower half of your doofor a bumper to protect your door. For peace of mind check your smoke detector (yes, I was a worry wart). If you're a single mom, then get a security alarm, to boot. that's it on the major crisis safety aspect. It will take sometime and consistency in not letting him sleep with you and not going to him when the only thing he wants is you. He may cry for an hour or more. He will survive. After an hour and 15 minutes, I go in, do a dry/sick check and immediately leave the room with no interaction whatsoever. Doing anything else only encourages him. He doesn't know time. He just knows that if he keeps crying he gets cuddle time. NOOOOO! I also played a game while we went in the bathroom during the day. I would close the door and turn of the lights and say, "Nigh-Nigh." and start snoring loudly. Then I would turn on the light and say Morning!" Remember, you give him all the love and attention all day long. He knows you love him and are there for him. That doesn't go away for the hour you leave him to himself. You are teaching him how to sooth himself back to sleep. He needs to be by himself to do that. Remember only say Nigh-nigh for a maximum of the first two trips in. And space the trips in for at least one hour and then increase it by an hour after each trip. He's old enough now. After that, pretend your changing the diaper and wetness of a plant. Do you hug a plant? No! Back away from the baby! I mean toddler. Also, get him a stuffed animal that he loves. Mine wasn't keen on stuffed animals, but loved MIckey Mouse Clubhouse. We bought a stuffed Mickey and treated him like he was a part of the family all day long. Put him in the high chair, talked to him, changed his diaper, etc. Then at night it was like he had a buddy. I even gave Mickey a kiss good night before giving my son a kiss good night. That helped, too. Never let him fall asleep in your bed. We let ours cuddle for a few minutes in our bed, but no longer than 5 minutes and never to let him sleep. We put him in his bed when he was too tired to protest for too long. If you let them sleep, you just got him rested up for a good tantrum. Nooooo! :) In and out. That is the key. feel free to email me if you want more help or just want to vent. We still have an occasional set back when daddy gives in and either lets him fall asleep in our bed or puts him in our bed before the birds chirp at 5:30.

Nicole - posted on 03/08/2012

I have twin girls who will be 2 in april. They have been sleeping threw the night since about 5 months. yes they sleep in the same room in different beds. i am strict with my schedule and very rarely change it. i am a teacher so they go to a sitter during the day where they nap at around 11:30am-2 or 2:30 pm. they have dinner at 5pm, bath and books before 6pm and they bed at 6"30/6:45pm. they get up at about 6:30am and that works for me because i have to get them ready for the sitters, they r at my sitters by 7am. I too lock them in their room, i have a child safety lock/handle on the inside of their door. i do this because i dont want them getting into stuff or going downstairs when we r sleeping. i also have a gate at the top of the steps, and have child proofed their whole room.let him get out of his bed and unless the room is not safe, let him cry it out.

Tisa - posted on 03/06/2012

Hi Katie, My daughter will be 2 next month and she was a great sleeper till 18 months (also in a big bed) and started climbing out and coming in to see us up to 3 or 4 times a night. I was at my wits end, tried rapid return, sitting on the floor etc and nothing seemed to work. I eventually locked er in her room. I know it sounds terrible and I might get a few awful remarks but it worked for us. I would read her a story and tuck her in and then say goodnight and walk out calmly. She would scream and follow me. As soon as I was out I would hld the door handle so she couldnt get out and i would listen to her throw books at the door, hurl herself at the door, run and scream around her room and after 2 minutes I would go in and put her back in bed. I did this 5 times the first night and after that 5th time she cried but did not get out of bed because she wasnt sure if I would come back and then she would have to climb back into bed herself (and face it, the worst thats going to happen is they sleep on the floor a few nights). The whole process took about 30 minutes but she fell asleep. The next day took 4 attempts and the rest of the week took a few as well but after about 5 days she stopped getting out. She still cries when I leave but now she just snuggles into bed snifling and crying and it lasts about 2 minutes and she is asleep. I know its not a nice thing to do (and my husband says Im too tough) but it worked for us and now she knows not to bother cause she cant get out of her room anyway. Good luck!

Janelle - posted on 03/05/2012

Hi Katie! I know this can be very frustrating and difficult. My son Jack is almost 2 and has nights where he will sleep all the way through and some nights where he will get up once or twice. I did notice that if he takes about an hour nap through the day he will sleep all the way through the night. If he sleeps longer than an hour, he is getting up in the middle of the night. We TRY( key word try :-)) to be consistent in getting him to bed around 8:00pm. 8 for us only because any earlier than that and I would be in the room for 3 hours trying to get him to bed. What works for my husband and I is we read one book and let him watch a cartoon for 15 minutes. While this is happening we remind him every 5 minutes that once we are done with the book or cartoon, we are going to go to bed. My son still needs one of us to stay next to him to fall asleep. He is getting better about it but it is what it is. We also makes sure his night lights are on and that is about it. We have to be consistent with him on the nights he gets up. He will come into our room and try to crawl into bed with us but I get up and put him back into bed and do the routine all over again. I know all children are not the same. You are doing everything you can and I can understand you are tired. Keep doing what you are doing just remember routine, routine, routine. Good luck to you.

Ann - posted on 03/03/2012

Hi Katie: I am sorry to hear your little guy isn't sleeping through the night. I am also single and have a 23 month old - I know how difficult things become when they do not sleep. My daughter has pretty much been sleeping through the night since since 2 1/2 months old. There are times she wakes up during the night; if I put her in my bed, she goes right back to sleep and then I either transfer back to her crib or let her stay. I find the only times she wakes up during the night is when she is hungry - if she didn't even enough dinner or missed the before bedtime bottle. Do you think maybe you can change his dinner time or incorporate a filling snack into your before bedtime routine. We have followed the same routine for over a year, which I have found to be very helpful. She has a bath, we read a book or two (sometimes 3), I let her watch a few cartoons and then she has a snack and a bottle. I let her lay on the couch for her bottle where is usually falls asleep. (It is funny - for my grandmother and my babysitter she goes right to sleep in her crib/playpen - she won't do that home - only the couch). Maybe he is just hungry - try some animal crackers or something not sugary with warm milk. I wish you the best of luck - there have been several nights that I am hysterical myself at bedtime, I will think happy thoughts for you - hang in there. --Ann