Back from deployment then moving to Korea?!

Eleanor - posted on 12/18/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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We are stationed in Ft Hood, TX. My husband just got back from his 2nd deployment a few weeks ago. As a soldier he is rarely home and hardly spends time with our son. He has missed our sons' first times during his first deployment each time he came back (for R&R and end of deployment) he was surprised to see how much our son has grown. Even though he was back from deployment he comes home spent and our son waiting eagerly for his arrival by the door.

We have been married for 3 going on 4 years, have been a stay at home mom & an army wife for just as long, I have been with my son far longer than my husband and I feel... so much for both my son - who asks me first thing in the morning "where's daddy?" and my husband whose always away and couldn't really watch our son grow and be there for him. It was hard being separated for so long as a family.



My husband received orders of a unit transfer in transition to Korea during his deployment in Iraq a few months ago. According to his orders he will be en route to Korea w/ in 6 months time his tour there will be 1 year. He couldn't do much about it since he was so busy doing what he is told to do / his job. He had looked through some of his military paperwork (ERB), goes thru them, and finds that his marital status is SINGLE!!! Why?!



Is it too late to pull out / withdraw from the orders? What should I do? 6 months as a family is too short esp. when he just returned from Iraq. We both don't like the idea and are worried for our son. Please help...?

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11 Comments

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Shelly - posted on 02/21/2010

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Well I'm not sure why his ERB is wrong but that needs to be fixed as soon as possible, it's very important. However, it's been my experience that the only way to get out of orders like that is to come off Active duty. However, you also have the option or most do to have your family go with you to Korea. You need a sponsor which is someone in the unit you are going to, to say i'll sponsor that family. It's a little difficult to understand but it is possible in some cases. At this point however i don't know anyway to get him out of it. What is his rank and MOS?

Michaela - posted on 02/10/2010

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Oh, and one more thing. I know it may seem like it sometimes but the Army is not purposely trying to screw over soldiers. If your husband talks to his command a tells them the whole situation they will most likely be sympathetic and do what they can you keep you guys together.

Michaela - posted on 02/10/2010

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Eleanor,

If it is possible for your husband to get command sponsered, have him do it. I was stationed in Korea twice. Most bases in Korea are just for single soldiers, but if you are command sponsered you will be in Osan or Seoul. He has to be stationed at a post you can be at if he is command sponsered. I dont know much about Osan but if you go to Seoul you will love it. We are actually trying to go back there now that we have kids. There are schools, housing, jobs for you, a hospital, everything you need. People think that Korea is for single soldiers because most people dont bring thier families and only stay for a year. However, it is a great place and 2 years would go by quickly. I actually think you would really enjoy it. If he can't get command sponsered on this end, have in talk to his command about it AS SOON AS he gets to Korea.

On another note, I know it's hard but sometimes that's the harsh reality of it. Try to stay supportive and cherish the 6 months you will have to spend with him. At this point there may not be anything your husband can do about the situation.

Robin - posted on 02/04/2010

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Were stationed down n fort hood too and I understand my husband is deployed for the first time we already found out that he will be. Home for 6months before leaving for more training it's hard. Bc r daughter is two and a daddys girl the army life is hard with kids we have had r troubles with the army screwing up paperwk and screwing up pay the only advice I found helpful was to b persistant to get wat u need done

Amber - posted on 01/28/2010

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You can do what Liz did and just dont go on sponsorship. Just have your husband find housing and then get you over there with him and he would only have to stay a year. Just have him find that information out. Take it from me: It will make life much much easier. I have been over here for almost a year and being able to talk to my husband everyday but not being able to touch him or be with him as created issues. I am not trying to scare you or anything and you guys must just do fine, but it will be much easier in life if you go with him. If my husband gets stationed back over there later I will def go with him. Please try to convince him that you should go over there with him. And let him know that it is not just for single soldiers. There are quite a few married ones over there with my husband and a couple army wives as well.

Amber - posted on 01/28/2010

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My husband is currently stationed in Korea. His "tour" there is almost done. I just would like you to know that him being stationed over there has nothing to do with his paperwork saying single. I am not sure if you were saying that or not but he needs to get that fixed ASAP. And to the best of my knowledge I dont think he can pull out from the orders. He might be able to go through a long drawn out process of disputing it but it might still mean he has to go.

Which brings me to my other statement. Being in Korea is not a deployment; it is a station. He needs to get in contact with his incoming unit to get command sponsorship so your whole family can go over there with him. They may not tell you this because they did not tell my husband until he was over and in order to get me over it would have taken at least a year and then he would have stayed another year over there. So make sure he gets in contact with them ASAP. It is very important if you want to go with him. This way you can be with him while he is over there. You will have to stay in off base housing but you will be able to be with him so it will make up for that. Let me know what happens with it and if you have any questions. I am here to help you!

Amber

Liz - posted on 01/15/2010

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u could just go for a yr. my hubby didnt get extended though i wish he did. but we were there 9 mths and he was there a yr. he got the place and then we moved to korea. i left 2 wks early to be with my family after the 9 mths.
and Korea was so much fun. i mean, i rather be in korea now...i truly miss it. and theres alot of family over there. the cdc had things for kids to do with the parents, and the shopping is awesome. people were really nice too.

Eleanor - posted on 01/15/2010

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Liz: Yes, I would love to go with him, however, he is against us going w/ him for the reason being of an ext. to 24 months. He really doesn't want to go either. He thinks a trip to Korea is only meant for single soldiers.

Christina: I will be going on three by then.

Christina - posted on 01/13/2010

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Liz gave excellent advice! But I wanted to add that Army life just isn't fair to some (nowadays most) families. That's where the old saying "if the Army wanted you to have a family, they would have issued you one," comes from. I can tell you this, by March 2011 I will be married 8 years 4 of which I have been geographically single.

Liz - posted on 12/31/2009

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first, make sure he fixes the paper, documentation that u are married. u can go to korea with him. i went with my husband on a non command sponsored, we werent on his orders, but my hubby filled out some forms and within mths i was living inn korea. we have a 3 yr old, at that time he was 2. it was so much fun. and we luved it there. even though we had to pay for our flight, it was worth it. and my son and i still had tricare, but tricare standard. we were seen onpost in the tmc. we lived offpost but within 10 minutes of base and there are buses that take u to where u want to go. the people are extremely nice there. I rather be there than be here at ft. bliss. how old ur son? they have a cdc over there as well, and stuff to do with the family.

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