Did anyone here have/had custody issues just because you are a military mom?? please i need some advices!!!

Melissa - posted on 11/17/2012

Dont leave , i know you dont want to hear it , but with you being in army , you wont get full custody , bc you are going to be gone soemtime , that the child need parent in there life every day .

Love4jaylen - posted on 07/11/2012

http://www.change.org/petitions/military...

PLEASE CONTACT ME VIA EMAIL @ EBONYRMURPHY1@GMAIL.COM

Jayla - posted on 02/10/2010

Im in the guard and currently pregnant and not married to the father and will never be married to him. He says the same things to me about when I get deployed. DO you have any family members that you are very close to????? If so then give them ur custody. Im givin mine to my mother while I am in Kuwait and getting it back when I come home. This way he wont have full custody of the kids. Im Human Resources and I work in close quarters with other ppl that are gng thru the same hings. You NEVER have to give up full custody to the father or anyone else for that matter unless ur a dead-beat mom which I dnt see you as being. You have rights and you may have to get a lawyer in ur state to help you in this situation. Its only temporary custody if anything and he still will have to have ur permission to do as much as take the children to the doctor. My advice will be to get the lawyer bc EVERYONES SITUATION IS DIFFERENT!!!!!!!! It depends on you, the father, who's ur backbone and main social support, the state and county you live in.

Michaela - posted on 02/10/2010

When you join the Army you have to reliquish custody of your children unless you are married. If you have children while you are in the Army, you need a family care plan (unless you are married to a civilian). I'm sure in this case the courts think it only makes sense to give custody to the father since you have to reliquish it anyway.

I have a friend who had custody of her son and he ex took her to court right before she got ready to deploy and she lost custody of him. It is sad, very sad but the courts are not very friendly to single military parents.

Nicole - posted on 01/31/2010

I dont' know who you talked to (chrystall) but you can have a family care plan if you're active duty. I've seen it done. Most of the time grandma or someone lives with you and if you have to go away they are your childrens guardian. You can even enroll that family memeber on your DEERS i believe as one of your dependants. As far as lisa goes. You don't have to give him full custody. They can live with him full time and visit you. Visitation is not the same as custody. you'd have to be a ex-con crack head to lose for him to get full custody. If it makes you feel better if your children lived with you they would never see you. You go to PT at like 6:30 for at least an hr and then you do you job from 9am to at least 5 most of the times 7 in the pm. Getting them to school and home and gettin someone to watch them is going to be really hard. not to mention the first yr your in you're going to be gone to basic and AIT for the better part of the year. you're also going to be working some weekends. Those are the main reasons why so many army wives are stay at home moms. You're going to run into some MAJOR problems if you get stationed over seas. you'll also prolly have to go to court everytime you pcs to a diff. state. I know these things cuz i ran into a lot of issues when my hubby came down on orders for germany. Now me and the kids are back in my home town and hes stationed in germany (deployed now to afganistan, which is where you'll be going prolly as soon as you get done with AIT) . we won't get to live together again for at least 4 yrs It MIGHT be better for them to stay with their dad. I say that not knowing that whole situation but i hope you understand where i'm coming from. You're going to be gone so much that they are going to end up living with the babysitter IF you can even find anyone who will do that for you

Chrystall - posted on 01/22/2010

I'm in the national guard and when I tried to go active they said I'd have to give up custody to do so. Unfortunately that's one of very few options: get married, convince the father to allow you to give custody to someone other than him (he'd have to sign the papers as well), or sign over custody to him. I didn't do it, couldn't bring myself to do it so I stayed guard.
I understand why the Army does that but only to a certain extent. It would be terrible if they just let you sign up with no knowledge of what happened to your child so the national guard has a family care plan for that. So why is my family care plan acceptable for training, and a guard deployment but not for active duty service!?

Katherine - posted on 01/09/2010

I am assuming that you are either now married to someone else or going Guard/Reserve. You will have to relinquish custody to your ex if you are single and going active duty. I hate saying things on message boards that sound like I’m being overly critical, but you have to look at it from his perspective… The Army is going to move you away and that is going to make sustaining a relationship with his child extremely difficult if you had planned on bringing the child with you. You also need to keep in mind that the Army will send you out on training exercises for weeks at a time, and you will need to be available for deployment. It is because of this that the military makes it difficult for single parents to join… males or females.

Jennifer - posted on 11/08/2009

Here's how it's working currently for my husband...



I am a stepmom and an Army Wife. I see my step kids 4 to 5 times a year. I see them a lil over 73 days a year. A parent who sees their child every other weekend get s 52 days. We see them much more than that. They are in year round school. We talk to them twice a week and webcam with them once a week also. BM is responsible for half of travel. They are 6 and 8. They have been flying alone since the youngest was 5. We claim one child for taxes and she claims the other.



If you currently have custody of your children, and plan on moving out of state... Make sure you can show how you can help maintain the children relationship with the father and family members. Maybe this means you paying half of all travel costs. Offer to put them in a year round school if it is available in the city you go to. Let him know he can webc am with the kids (Make sure you set a schedule for the kids and stick to it)



JAG can look up laws and guide you but they can't help you with civil cases.





I know that it's hard to think of being without your kids.. but I always believe in having a Plan B.



Good luck and stay positive! Thank you for serving our country!

J - posted on 09/27/2009

I assume you've already shipped but did you get any legal advice from JAG? They should've been able to point you in the right direction, at least. I have issues, too, but they can't help me because my son lives in another state and that's where the trial will be held. Ugh!

Megan - posted on 04/18/2009

I need the same advice. Someone please reply.