First deployment advice

Jennifer - posted on 02/04/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My baby girl is really close to her daddy. He puts her to sleep at night and thats the only way she goes to bed. How am I suppose to change that pattern?

AND

How am I suppose to explain to her why daddy isn't here and why he can't be at her 1st birthday in a way she can understand it. Or How did you do it?

AND

Is there any advice to give me? This is our first deployment but its his second. How do you make it through it?

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Ellen - posted on 08/29/2011

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I had a 3 month old and a 2 year old daughter when my husband went off to basic. He would sing them to sleep every night. I was worried that we would have issues when he left, so he taped himself singing their bedtime songs and made a couple of cd's. I would play them every night when they would go to bed. It helped a ton! Also since our youngest was so young, and he was gone for 7 months, it helped her readjust to him quickly since she was so used to his voice.
I know others who have videotaped their husbands reading books to their kids so they can watch it when they miss them.
If you get a little creative there are lots of ways to make sure your daughter stays close to her daddy while he is gone.
Hope some of these ideas help.
~Ellen

Brittany - posted on 02/16/2011

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We are number four and just had a baby a year ago! She will adjust because she is young yet and make it special for her. Our oldest who is 6 still doesnt full understand what happens when daddy leaves. These are great too if you want to keep him alive so to say for her https://www.daddydolls.com/ We make it through by when we do get to talk that we share the good times and the stress. Becaus one thing about being over there is that they have no way to destress from their jobs like they do when they come home. Email as often as you can even if you dont get a response back.. My son thinks daddy is at work and its easier for him because to tell him where daddy really is undue stress and he doesnt need it. Take it day by day and get a good support system behind you and find a hobby that you know will keep you busy!

J - posted on 02/06/2010

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Jennifer,

The best thing about kids, especially very young ones, is that they won't remember the separation. Also, they adjust quite easily. (My 3 are just fine.) You don't have to explain anything to a baby. You can start changing her bedtime routine now, a little at a time, so it's not such a shock FOR YOU after he leaves. I would also recommend joining (or starting) the FRG in his unit. Make friends with other moms in your situation. Hope this helps a little.

~jan

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