Blog 18 of Top 25 Adoption Blogs by Parents

Gold to Refine by Diana (and occasionally Blaine)  

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Why I Decided to Adopt

We struggled with infertility for many years. Five years into the journey we were blessed with our daughter. Though we tried for more bio babies after she was born, it wasn't meant to be. After a devastating miscarriage in 2002, we closed the door forever on having more children join our family through traditional means. And so began our journey. We could never in a million years have forseen when we started where the journey would really take us. Highlights of our five-year-long journey to adopt (yes, another five years beyond infertilty) can be found at Our Adoption Journey.

The Biggest Challenge of the Adoption Process

At the time, the biggest hurdle was that it took so long. During that time, we had to jump through many, many hoops and worked with numerous agencies. Waiting was an incredibly stressful and emotionally draining roller coaster. Unfortunately, we were also introduced to the dark, ugly side of adoption (the parts that are tainted by money and greed) fairly early on. Looking back and knowing what I know now, however, without question the biggest hurdle and challenge for us personally as well as many, many, many other adoptive families I know comes as a result of grossly inadequate pre-adoption training and counseling. Regardless of when or where the child is adopted from, MUCH more training needs to be required regarding attachment, the long term effects of trauma (especially early childhood trauma), therapeutic interventions, and realistic picture of what to expect after your adoptoin is complete. This is ESPECIALLY true for families adopting older children or internationally.

When and How My Children Learned They Were Adopted

They were seven and almost three when they were adopted. They knew from the very first day we met them! In fact, one of my children chose their own English name.

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