4 year old undiagnosed Aspie.

Erika - posted on 08/29/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a 4 year old girl who is driving me nuts. I have known something is not quiet right with her for years and have tried to get her tested but she just doesnt seem to meet criteria. She is incredibly overreactive, does not understand when she is told to do something and does not understand social cues. She will look you in the eye and lie about something than tell you a few minutes later that she was the one who did it. Her brother is starting to use some of her cues to get out of trouble because he knows she gets out of it. I dont know what to do anymore. Even her ped doesnt seem to be taking me seriously. My husband thinks she will grow out of it. Apparently he had some of the symptoms when he was a child but I cant figure out how to go about getting her tested for either Aspergers or something like it. It is also affecting her school days since her teachers dont know how to deal with her behaviors when she goes ballistic over the smallest things. HELP!

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Chasity - posted on 06/15/2011

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does she have any autistic tendencies? flapping, doesn't like changes in routine, sensory issues, repetitive movements or obsessions with spinning or bouncing or other movements? At 4 years old you can not really say doesn't understand social cues cause my 5 year old doesn't either. Honestly she sounds just like my 5 year old, my daughter Nevaeh I could beat her with a stick and then 5 minutes later she will be doing the same exact thing
She acts as tho she doesn't understand what you say, she is insanely active and never stops. I have had her in behavior mangement for a month and the first thing we have to do is praise her every 3-5 mins in the following form "NAME I like the way you are WHATEVER THEY ARE DOING YOU LIKE" always say there name first then follow it in the same format. Perhaps this is a very good start, please try to talk with a phycologist. If she does not fit the autism criteria then its most likely something else.

Leslie - posted on 11/03/2010

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Erika if I could tell you one thing... it is don't give up! Keep taking her to doctors keep pushing because you will eventually hit a brick wall with her and then everyone who is now telling you that she is fine or it is just behavior will just look at you like okay well what do we do now! It is so frustrating! UGH!!! Even though all along YOU as her mother KNEW that everyone was missing the mark with her! You will have to be her advocate. You do have to separate what is behavior issue vs what is a disability issue. Just my opinion. Someone told me if she is doing something lets say constantly hanging upside down over the couch or anything she just was upside down if we were in her favorite place with all her favorite things would she still be upside down. Well my answer was yes and then she said then it is not a behavoir issue. She is not trying to get something attention ect. When kids have behavior issues their is almost always some sort of pay off for them. It may even be a negative pay off but their is a pay off. Autistic or spectrum kids just do what they do. What they get like from my daughter being upside down is vestibular input that she obviously needs. Now she can be taught through behavior management how to help herself with somethings but it isn't because you need to parent more. That is what I felt while everyone was telling me that my daughter had issues. I am so glad Iknew my kid. Her melt downs are for a reason. If she is on the spectrum she has her own perspective. She doesn't have the worlds. What I mean by that is example my daughter wanted a salad her sister said I will make you one so when my daughter came to the table where the salad was sitting ready for her she immediately started in she makes this horrible face makes her hands into fists starts screaming...now everyone is looking at her like what the heck is wrong with you. We are looking all around trying to figure it out. So, I told her very calmly and quietly "hey listen, I have no idea why you are crying (which makes her mad cause I am not a mind reader...lol) if you will talk to me I will help you but I can't do anything with you screaming!" It took her a little bit to get it out because she has great speech but when shes upset she has major word retrival issues.She basically was mad because her sister didn't ask her what salad dressing she would like to have! SERIOUSLY!!! This is a child who will only eat ranch but we always ask everyone and her arguement is she was treated different and we didn't ask her! Okay now you could look at this and think shes a brat but fact is she is autistic we changed something and she hates change and doesn't adapt well at all. We are working really hard to teah her that we don't have to cry. Sometimes she can do it sometimes she can't. Everything is their perspective. Yes I think it is rediculous but I had to decide to I want to have these fits or reduce them. Shes not doing this to be bad. Now I used to would have immediately sent her to time out. No discussion until she was totally quiet and then I would have told her she was being rediculous. I am tellingyou this because I had to learn. Msg me if you have specific questions. I wan tyou to know you are not alone you are supported!!!

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