Help for my 12 year old son

Melissa - posted on 10/14/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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At the end of last school year my son's school counselor came to me so excited saying that she my have found what my son has. It was aspergers. I was so excited to finally have something to hold on to that could potentially help him. I have sense been trying to get my son in to even be seen. I just don't know what to do. Our family doctor says that he cannot do anything and the insurance I have for the kids is through the state and they don't seem to care about mental illnesses. We are just having a very hard time. He just started middle school and is in an IEP but it does not help him. They say I need a diagnosis to get him into a special class for kids with aspergers and autism. And just today he was suspended because he got so upset and frustrated about school that he ran out of class and stayed out on the lawn. I told me that he hated it there and that he did not want to come back. He has always loved school. His elementary school did so great helping him. But now that he is in a new school, that does not seem to understand that he does not think like everyone else, he hates it. I really need help figuring out what to do next. I am a single mother with 3 kids to take care of and I just can't seem to get any where. Help!

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Leslie - posted on 10/17/2010

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Unfortunately this happens all the time to children who get to middle school without a correct daignosis. That is a very typical response from a middle school. You will find them little help if any I'm afraid.

You said you have state insurance. Can I ask what state your in? You need to call the number on the insurance card and tell them you are in need of a pediatric psychologist that preferably has had experience with children on the spectrum. When you call they psychologist office, tell them you are looking to find someone who will be able to do testing for a possible aspergers diagnosis. Let them know that your school came to you with this. It could take a while to get in but make the appointment anyhow.

Let's talk about your childs' IEP...You said this does not help him? Why do you feel this way? He may not need a special class per say for kids with autism but they will have to make accomodations if their is an educational need. Obviously, their is because if he is running out of the building he is not learning! Therefore it is affecting his learning. What did is his diagnosis on his IEP? What are they servicing him under? I would be happy to help you with this. I have helped with a ot of IEPs. I have had Article 7 training which is the Special Needs Law. I am very curious what accomodations they have made for him , what is current learning level is and what progress he has made with the accomodations they are giving him. It is so important that your IEP is not just a piece of paper that lists issues. They have to list how they are going to overcome these problems. I would like to know what they have in his IEP for behavior also. Obviously you need to get a plan and ask them for case confrence meeting. You can call a case confrence anytime during the year. I think with him being suspended it is very important. Just remember you are your childs only true advocate. You have to manage this for your child and you and your child have rights. I would be happy to talk with you more about this. I do not by any means know everything but I love helping other poeple that's why I took the training and so many kids and parents don"t get what they need and the kid suffer. Send me a msg I could even send you my phone number.

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Tammy - posted on 02/06/2011

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Melissa,

Both my husband I feel your frustration and pain. Our oldest daughter, whom is now 17 years old, was diagnosed with Asperger''s. It has been a difficult journey at times. We were desperate for answers and for the right kind of help. It was frustrating that the answer to helping her was to put her on some anti-anxiety/depression medication. We resorted to trying this for a few years but slowly weaned her off the medication because she was almost zombie-like due to the side effects. We were at our wits end. I can't imagine what you must feel, especially as you mentioned being a single mother as well. Don't give up, there is a lot of hope out there. In addition to all the behavior and anxiety issues we were dealing with, our daughter also suffered with severe digestive issues for 7 years. She was on some medication for a short time for that but the side effects were so bad that we took her off those and resorted to over-the-counter medication to help her "get by." We changed her diet quite a bit and that made a little bit of a difference at times, but for the most part her digestive problems took over her life. Again, we were frustrated. I strongly felt there had to be answers and I still held hope that there was something that could help her.
We were introduced to essential oils about 1 1/2 years ago and they have helped our daughter with her anxiety, depression and digestive issues. I would love to share more experiences with you on what a positive impact this has had on our daughter and our family.
Best wishes,
Tammy Miller

Feel free to email me at dm0783@aol.com

Victoria - posted on 10/29/2010

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My son as it too. Ido have state ins as well and if you call them I am sure they can guid youto places for therapy and help control it with meds. It took a long time for the school to finally help out once they saw it to. My son is now 13 and thriving with all the help even through the school . He to is in IEP. I don't know what state you are in but do your research . There are places to bring him for therapy to help control his anger. Good luck.

Kacey - posted on 10/16/2010

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Hello Melissa,



I am a mother of 4 and my youngest son that is four was just diagnosed with Aspergers on Thursday! We live in Illinois and when I first noticed at 2 1/2 years old that he was having developmental delays i contacted my pediatrician! My pediatrician referred me to Easter Seals. Then they referred me to a company called A.E.R.O. and there they determined that my son indeed had developmental delays. He needed a Speech Therapist and a Occupational Therapist. Once he turned 3 I enrolled him into a Special needs school that we have in the area. During his IEP given in May of this year his therapists and the teacher informed me that my son was showing sign of autism. I then informed my pediatrician who then gave me a referral to see a Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrician at UIC. After the initial evaluation the doctor told me that my son indeed was showing signs of Autism but she wanted to do a test on him called ADOS at a later date. During the time between his appointments I had his teachers to write up reports showing the progress that he had made since the last IEP done back in May. So I went back for his follow up appointment on Thursday and she did the ADOS (which is she sits and observes his behavior during different situations) and that's when we received the diagnosis. So, as you see my pediatrician gave me every referral that was needed to give my son the help that HE needed to be properly diagnosed. But you need that referral from the pediatrician to see a Pediatric Neurologist. That's how you can get the diagnosis. Once you get the diagnosis, it opens the doors to all the the programs that are offered in you State! Hope this helps!

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