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religious partners

Emma - posted on 12/05/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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hmmm ok.. heres a brain teaser for you... my partner is a muslim (non practising) and has an answer for everything ..drives me mad sumtimes lol. now we are trying for a baby at the moment so not really an issue that am goin to have to deal with for a while yet.. but.. and to me its a big BUT... how can we compromise on the upbrining of a child that would satisfy us both without confusing the child. i refuse to bring it up as a muslim as i dont believe and i wont pretend i do or stand back while her fills its head full of majic.. does anyone think theres middle ground here?..we respect each others views on god so dont fight about it... but am pretty sure we are both going to want our own way wen it comes to this issue.. anyone got any tips for me to win? haha

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Amanda - posted on 02/24/2011

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i think with the amount of different beliefs in your household it should be treated as a choice. Your child is lucky enough to grow up with multiple view points and should be encouraged to be open to all.

Emma - posted on 01/03/2011

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well he believes but he does pray or follow the way of life... hence the non practising. he has a daughter from a previous relatonship an has brought her up in the muslim way. i will not have my child brought up the same way. i have 3 children from a previous relationship.. 2 of which believe in god and 1 that doesnt.. i dont have a problem with that,, they have the right to choose.. but my partner believes that babys are born beliving in allah (pfft).
i dont really know if he realises that my disbelief is as strong as his belief altho by now he should lol... but jenny i think your right . just leav it to the child as they ask questions as they get older and the problem with that is we are both going to give conflicting answers and i jus worry we might confuse the child rather than give it an informed choice... maybe this is sumthing we are jus goin to have to deal with as it happens (if i manage to get pregnant) and discuss each problem as it arises. thank you for the advice jenny :)

Jenny - posted on 12/13/2010

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Um, that's a rough one. How do you reconcile it just between the two of you? Does he attend services alone or is he more of a private beleiver?

I think maybe the best compromise would be to hold off on any religion until the child decides. There is no such thing as a Muslim child as they don't have the capacity to come to those conclusions until they are older.

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