Sylvia - posted on 03/26/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )
A lot of us have probably seen the Pearls' or Ezzos' various writings on what to do about kids (or babies!) who are "defiant" -- all of which basically come down to (a) they do it because they're Bad Kids and (b) you have to beat/starve/deprive them into submission, backed up with a lot of stuff about how G-d requires children to obey their parents, etc.
I thought this group might be interested in this post from the parenting blog on Chabad.org (an ultra-Orthodox Jewish organization) about what's going on with a child who "is in a seemingly perpetual state of defiance." The author's answer? "We need to take advantage of every opportunity throughout the day - even seemingly small ones - to draw our children close and strengthen that innate primary connection. They are less likely to display counter-will when they are experiencing a secure attachment to us."