An interesting contrast to Michael Pearl et al.

Sylvia - posted on 03/26/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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A lot of us have probably seen the Pearls' or Ezzos' various writings on what to do about kids (or babies!) who are "defiant" -- all of which basically come down to (a) they do it because they're Bad Kids and (b) you have to beat/starve/deprive them into submission, backed up with a lot of stuff about how G-d requires children to obey their parents, etc.

I thought this group might be interested in this post from the parenting blog on Chabad.org (an ultra-Orthodox Jewish organization) about what's going on with a child who "is in a seemingly perpetual state of defiance." The author's answer? "We need to take advantage of every opportunity throughout the day - even seemingly small ones - to draw our children close and strengthen that innate primary connection. They are less likely to display counter-will when they are experiencing a secure attachment to us."

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This is a great blog I like that article very much and the blog has other good articles as well! I liked the one on needy children I have a 3month old boy who is not so much needy but just different than most of my friends babies he needs a lot more attention and play time with mommy and does not like just being left alone on a play mat or in his chair or whatever. And like you said this is completely opposite of Micheal Pearl and has great insite into a childs psychological needs. I loved when the author states "When a person to whom we do not feel attached tells us to do something, we experience an imperative to do the exact opposite." and then he describes the little girl with the blocks and the parent getting down to the childs level and engaging her befor asking her to do something makes sense, to reinforce your parent child attachment. Rather than just yelling across the room and then punishing the child for not listening! All in all great blog! Thanks for sharing.

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