CIO, FT daycare and now this...

Brenda - posted on 06/21/2010

You know, as someone training to be a school counselor, I hate to see what happens when teachers or administrators read this sh!t. I mean seriously. As if we don't have enough pressure on us by people who have no freaking idea what the hell we do, then this crap comes out in the news media. So teachers are knocking on MY door saying "Sally has a best friend, Tanya, and they're together all the time, should I seperate them? Should I make them play with other kids?"

WTF. I mean, seriously. This is something that I personally really don't need in my life because it is going to make my job harder, and every school counselor out there (that actually does the job they are supposed to do). Goddess save me. I mean really. Teach children from kinder that they shouldn't forge one on one relationships with other people because it will end bullying.

These people have not done their research into what bullying is. I mean, okay, as a school counselor this is a HUGE subject. How do you handle kids that are bullied? How do you handle the bully? What causes the bully? Well, when the teacher says you have to play with Tim and not your best friend Ralph, little Johnny what do you think little Johnny is going to do? Be freaking mean as hell behind the teachers back to Tim because he's pissed off he can't play with his best friend! Teaching tolerance and acceptance, yes, but they should never interfere in the forging of meaningful relationships. You know how psychopaths develop right? They're people who have no real attachments and emotions but can fake it really well. So...we're training people to be psychopaths. Fake it.

Sorry for the long rant, just really started thinking about this whole idea and it just pisses me the hell off. This is why people who think they know crap should shut the hell up and let people who do know it take care of it. How the f'n hell does a day care administrator thinks she has the right to come up with this sort of theory? Based on what? Where is the empirical evidence? The long reaching studies of children (which to test this should last at least to the 20 year mark)? Oh, that's right. They don't exist. Screw them. And the horse they rode in on.

Nikki - posted on 06/20/2010

Are you F@#%n Kidding me ?!?!?! Im sorry but this has gone way too far, so what they are telling me is I should teach my son to act fake and superficial as this is the key to end bullying...Yeah now that makes sense ... WTF

Sylvia - posted on 06/20/2010

Um, WTF?!!?

Absolute insanity, that's my opinion. Good GRIEF, people.

Katherine - posted on 06/20/2010

Who comes up with this crap????

Aura - posted on 06/19/2010

What a load of tripe! I agree with what Mr. Laursen said, what will be the implications on future romantic relationships if children are learning not to let anyone that close?

Brenda - posted on 06/19/2010

Omg I think I might know that person (I live in St. Louis area) at the daycare. My previous pediatrician was Dr. leland leycob. Wonder if that is his wife?

Thank God for my fellows.
"Do we want to encourage kids to have all sorts of superficial relationships? Is that how we really want to rear our children?” asked Brett Laursen, a psychology professor at Florida Atlantic University whose specialty is peer relationships. “Imagine the implication for romantic relationships. We want children to get good at leading close relationships, not superficial ones.” " I have a very small circle of friends, and I like it much better than the peopel who had a lot.

Good Gods, something I'll have to deal with when I get into school counseling. I know my opinion.

Geralyn - posted on 06/18/2010

There is such an epidemic of bullying and other social torment happening for our children and teenagers. Every school is wrestling with it. And no doubt that it needs serious attention. But who the heck determined that having a best friend or a close group of friends is the cause? That just doesn't make sense. Even as an adult, I do not like everyone I meet. I totally disagree with the article. I think its critical to have best friends and then to also be able to move within a larger group (but not all as best friends).

Marcy - posted on 06/18/2010

What ever happened to letting children work things out for themselves? Geez...we live in such a cookie cutter society. You get off an airplane now and you see Home Depot, Starbucks and Borders everywhere. This is just another thing to add to the list of ways that society is requiring our children to act, respond and perform like robots. I had 3 best friends throughout grade school, jr high and high school. To this day we all live in different states and we are all still the best of friends. It would make me so happy to know that my son could possible one day have the same type of friendships that I do. Of course there were the popular kids in high school...eventually everyone grows out of that and I agree with April...a little negative experience goes a long way in making us stronger. Wow, I cannot believe the NYT published this piece of crap.

April - posted on 06/18/2010

i don't think it is particularly healthy to be friends with everyone. i agree with the article in that forcing children to like everyone may create superficial relationships. in turn, i think personality and character will suffer. Children will learn that quantity is more important than quality. Also, negative experiences with friendships help build character. Children learn to find their own ways of dealing with things. Now with this "no best friend" campaign, these children are missing out on a wealth of life experiences that ultimately shape character and personality.