Crying in out in the car

Mary Renee - posted on 01/17/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Aloha,

Here's the deal. I don't believe in Crying It Out, and my daughter wakes up every hour and a half at night, so that's saying alot (we're co-sleeping and I nurse her in the sidelying position but it's killing my back and I'm still totally sleep deprived for never getting more than 1.5 hours of sleep at a time! but that's for another thread!)

However, sometimes she ends up "crying it out" in the car because I just... don't have a choice. Everytime we go anywhere, whether it's running errands, or recreational, or to Stroller Strides, or whatever, I always make sure she's well-fed, has a fresh diaper and I nurse her right before we leave. Then when we get to said destination, I always change her diaper and nurse her before we head back home to make sure she's not hungry or dirty.

Nonetheless, sometimes she cries when she's in her car seat. I try talking to her, singing to her, clapping, listening to music... but it's not like I can pull over on the highway every time she cries. I mean, I live in Hawaii so no where we go is THAT far away but sometimes (I'd say maybe once every two weeks or so) she ends up crying in the car and then crying herself to sleep.

Would this have the same impact as crying it out at night time? I mean, she never cries for more than six or seven minutes. I hate it, but I'm practically a single mom and I manage to nurse on demand, co-sleep, wear her or carry her when ever she needs comfort but sometimes the car HAS to get a safety inspection or it has to be registered or we need groceries or we HAVE to go to the doctor and what am I supposed to do?

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My daughter didn't take to driving in the car for a long time either. A few times I was stuck in traffic and just couldn't stop - it was terrible. Even when I was able to be in the back with her, it just made no difference, she hated it. We live 30 minutes away from everywhere and have no family here so like you I just didn't have a choice. I kind of took comfort in the fact that I was right there for her talking and singing her through it. As with everything I have no control over I try not to beat myself up over it. You sound like you are doing a great job and that's really not easy if you are on your own! On a different note: are you switching sides everytime your daughter wakes up at night? I have a bad back too and found it got much worse on those few occasions where she actually did sleep and I didn't get to turn around. Also Pilates and Yoga really help.

Minnie - posted on 01/18/2011

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From a scientific standpoint- the crying does have the same effect that crying anywhere else does- expended calories, increased heart rate and respiratory rate, increased pressure in the brain, etc.

I hate it too. I cannot drive safely with a crying infant in the car. So I pulled over whenever I was alone in the car and my daughter was crying. Yes, I have appointments that I cannot miss- it involved me heading out way earlier than I normally would have, expecting to stop a few times. When she got a bit older singing and toys helped. One time I meowed at her for an entire half hour on the way to a LLL meeting :D.

Much of the time I simply avoided being the driver and had my husband chauffer us around when he was home. So I sat in the back with her.

It's sad, frustrating and I know how it pulls at your heart strings. I personally cannot do it, because I can't drive safely and because I know what crying physically does to a baby.

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Hannah - posted on 01/27/2011

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awe, I feel for you we had the same problem at that age. What helped us Immensely was when he started to get upset I would steer with one hand and reach back and actually rock the whole car seat with the other. Its was an extremely awkward and uncomfortable way to drive, but it calmed him down and most of the time helped him fall asleep.

Also those toy bars that strap on the car seat handle really help, it gives them something to do that they cant toss away.

Mary Renee - posted on 01/20/2011

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Kali (my daughter) is 8 months old and weighs 19 pounds.

She uses the Graco Snugride 32 that's supposed to be good up until 32 pounds but you might be right, I noticed it's kind of tilted back where as she likes to sit up straighter! You might be on to something! You got a convertible carseat? Do those sit them up straight? My daughter HATES to be on her back, so that could be part of the problem.

Noreen - posted on 01/20/2011

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How old is your baby and how much does she weigh and what kind of carseat do you have?? I ask, because I have found that when my children reached about 12lbs, they HATED their graco infant carrier. So I switched them to a convertible carseat around 4months for the boys, but 2months for my daughter. It helped SO MUCH!

Katherine - posted on 01/20/2011

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You can try to go to meetup.com to try and find a babysitter. I found it helps a lot and you can interview several ;)

Natalie Rose - posted on 01/19/2011

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My son hates the carseat. I make sure he is breastfed and has a dry diaper before I put him in the seat, and if he is screaming for more than a couple minutes, I pull over and nurse/comfort him. I live in a small town, so it doesn't take long to get places. I feel my stress levels rise rapidly when he screams while I'm driving, so I think it's actually better for both of us if I pull over to comfort or nurse him. I also keep a baby friendly, safe snack (mum-mums) in the car and interesting toys, and always try passing those back to him first.

Mary Renee - posted on 01/18/2011

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yeah, I don't have the husband/boyfriend driving option. It's just me and her and I'm responsible for her 100% of the time as I have no family or friends out here in Hawaii, I've never even used a babysitter just because I don't KNOW any. I'm originally from Washington DC.

Katherine - posted on 01/18/2011

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This is so hard. I had the same problem, I would actually have to pull over to comfort my daughters. Both of them did that to me. After I pulled over and did that they seemed ok.

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