HELP PLEASE! Frequent wakings with my co-sleeping 6.5 month old

Geralyn - posted on 11/22/2010

My son needed breastmilk beyond one year as primary nutrition with his intake of solids being what I would view as supplementary. Then after one it seemed to switch (for him it was more like 14-15 months - he'd mostly nurse 2-3 times during the night at that point). And as several posting moms have said, there are many purposes to nursing. My son was defintiely nursing around the clock, at that age, approximately every 2 hours. I do not think that he was ready for me to take steps to cut back nursing at night until at least 14 months. Just my thoughts.... I think that sometimes moms are quick to assume that nursing is only supplementary after the babies start solids, but I do not think that that is the case. I know it can be exhausting, and we have all been there. Good luck!

Aleks - posted on 11/22/2010

One more thing I like to point out regarding sleep issues.

I always bring this up because this is what caused a lot of sleep issues for my kids.

Food intolerances!

My little one would wake every half to an hour for like months on end before we figured out that it was soy intolerance! Soy gave her silent reflux (among other things) and drinking milk was what soothed it, at least for a little bit, and then it was on the go again. Things your lo may be sensitive to can pass thru breastmilk, so you are the one that will have to do the elimination diet - if that is a path you are willing to investigate. Some of the biggest culprits are: diary, soy, eggs and wheat.

Elimination diet is what diagnosed it (with a little suggestion from a very good maternal and child health nurse). If there are any other symptoms, like unusual nappy rashes, mucous in poos, etc

Does your lo also have problems staying asleep for daytime naps?

These are some of the things to take note of with regards to food intolerances.



Anyway, this is my 5 cents worth.....

Mary Renee - posted on 11/21/2010

Thanks everybody! I appreciate the responses and I'm glad I found this message board. I came across "Attachment" parenting naturally, and didn't even realize there was a style or a word associated with it. My MIL was telling me to supplement when I was nursing on demand (which was pretty much every hour on the hour when she was first born) and my own mother and cousins tell me I have to let her cry it out. I'm glad to find people who "get" the way I want to parent.

Thanks for the suggestions!

Brenda - posted on 11/21/2010

Oh, and one more thing, try and remember breastmilk fully digests in 30 minutes, so it is very possible for her to be hungry every three hours. :)

And yes, the biggest thing, Claire mentioned, is watch the baby. If she is happy and getting enough sleep, she's fine, but if there is something wrong the Pantley book is amazing I'v eheard!

Karen - posted on 11/21/2010

Sounds a lot like my story (sleeping well until 4 months and then bang - no more sleep!). My daughter is 24 months old now and has just started to sleep more than 2 hours at a time. The only thing I try to do is detach her from the nipple before she's totally asleep. It seems to be helping a bit, but sometimes she gets really mad.
Sorry I don't have more advice. Just hang in there (and give your hubby a kick in the butt!).

Claire - posted on 11/21/2010

Hi Mary,
Brenda's right about developmental milestones and sleep patterns - separation anxiety, learning to crawl, learning to walk.... With our son, I was like Brenda for over a year, just waiting until he found his way to sleep at our own pace. But then I felt that he was not happy about not being able to get to sleep on his own + we were getting exhausted and stressed out about it. So, when he was 13 months, I got the book I mentioned and it's been rosy ever since!
The book is by Elizabeth Pantley. I researched it and it's pretty much the only no-cry one out there with really practical solutions. It is full of great great tips - for example, ways to gently get your baby not to fall asleep on the breast but roll away - so that in effect he's falling asleep on his own and is hence less likely to wake up again.
cheers
claire

Brenda - posted on 11/21/2010

My 18 month old still doesn't sleep all night. I'd say he wakes 4- 6 times a night, and at the most he would wake 8-10.

You are right about the smell, my husband can rock Nick to sleep on his shoulder, but cannot put him down. :)

Remember, this isn't a habit, it is a need. The milk is not what she needs, it is the act of nursing as well as other things the milk provides. During teething they will nurse more because breastmilk contains a pain reducing hormone, which is also why they nurse during growth spurts. They are also nursing because at 7 months the world is getting really crazy. They are starting to figure out object permanence, they are noticing more, and their little brains are developing with great rapidity. Nursing is a constant in an ever changing world for them. The act and feel is not going to change, and it gives them a sort of emotional stability when their world is shifting.

As far as dad not pitching in, this will only get worse if you don't have a good talk about it. My husband and I go through this all the time, and I finally put my foot down when he referred to taking care of the boys while I was gone as "babysitting".

As far as food, you might try the jarred meats. As odd as it sounds, until mine was nearly a year old, he only wanted real food or jarred meats. He pretty much exclusively nursed til 9 months with occassional attempts at food, but he'd really only want the meats, and they seemed to be filling.

Personally, I've opted for no change in what he wants. I've never used any methods to reduce his nursing, and it has gone down on its own. Try to keep in mind how fast they grow in the first year. It can be trying at times, but everything an infant does is done for a particular need, and there are really no "habits" (to be honest, until they are around a year they don't have the cognitive ability to get into a habit because they are solely need driven until then...their little brains just don't work that way yet). :) But even if you change nothing, it will taper off and change. And also, growth spurts can be back to back for some kids, and so can sleep regressions. You can say expect one at this many months, but every baby is different. :) I hope that helps some, no real advice, but you are not alone.

Mary Renee - posted on 11/20/2010

Thanks for the suggestion. Do you know who the author is? I do sleep with a shirt on, sometimes a loose bra and a shirt.

I think I'm going to have to try "walking" her to sleep every other time she wakes up. I know at her age she doesn't need to eat every 3 hours at night.

We have a predictable sleep and wake up routine (not much a of a routine otherwise as she's a very unpredictable napper!)

Claire - posted on 11/20/2010

Dear Mary,
I have a 16 months old. He's still not sleeping through the night:-) but we're getting there! As you've probably heard, it happens, the ups and downs as you're experiencing - it usually has to do with teething or being sick - but as my pediatrician said, most of the time it's best not to try and find a cause! Some advice based on my experience... I wear a shirt to bed, it makes a big difference. We co-sleep but each have our own space (in our case he has a cot with an open side alongside our bed) - it depends on the baby - my son's quite independent like that. As he had terrible colic in early days from breastfeeeding, i made sure I didn't BF him more often than every 3hrs, other times I'd (it's hard!) have to walk him back to sleep. It helped, he did not wake up as often afterwards.
But the best advice is: read "The no-cry sleep solution"!! It's made a world of difference to us. It mainly has to do with having a "predictable" day and bedtime (I used to hate routines before I read it - it is not really about routine per se!). And it gives some really good advice to help our baby to learn to go to sleep without our help (obviously no crying). Some random points made in the book: You need to try things out for a few days before you see if they work. If your baby goes to sleep on his own at the start of the night, he/she is more likely to get him/herself back to sleep later in the night. Tossing and turning does not always mean waking up... Anyhow, you should read it, it's really worth it! And good luck!!
Claire