Julia - posted on 02/26/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )
I am in a bit of a struggle here.
I love being a mother and nourishing my child and seeing him thrive on love is the most fulfilling thing that has ever happened in my life.
I am still nursing him, he's 2 years and 3 months old and I have not planned to wean him until he wants to do it at his very own pace.
My husband starts talking about weaning and whenever possible he slips some comment in why it would be best to get our son of the breast. We only had a conversation about this today.
It doesn't matter if I tell him about the benefits of breastfeeding that are all so well known by the moms of this community. I tell him how great it is to see our son going his own steps of growth and development, happily supported by us but not pushed. He understands, in theory, he sees our healthy and balanced little boy....but as soon as we are in a public situation he is ashamed. Today we went to a place that was crowded with people and Lasse asked if he could nurse. I was totally torn, one side of me wants to be there for him whenever he needs me, the other side was that I didn't feel comfi with my husband at my side, knowing he would be ashamed.... and I tend to pick up on other people's emotions easily so I couldn't see myself nurse in this place anymore, couldn't see myself cope with the looks people would give me. Our son is pretty tall for his age, too, doesn't help..... And maybe I woudn't nurse even without my husband in such a "threatening"environment.
Also we are going to visit our families in Germany over the summer, I am already a bit terrified of this to be honest. They know I am still nursing and they kinda go with it after having written lots of emails back and forth.... but I know it is going to be awkward.... I already have decided I won't nurse Lasse in front of them, but at the same time it feels weird to tell him, lets go nurse....I don't want him to feel that there's anything wrong with it... maybe I could always convince him there are more comfi places to nurse, like a couch or a bed..... dunno....
I would so appreciate inputs from your sides, this community has so many times strengthened my backbone by just browsing through the conversations, I hope you can give me some good advice and hopefully a good kick in the butt! :D
How do you handle being in surroundings that aren't quite supportive of nursing a little child? The other thing is, I want people to see it!!!! I want to advertise extended breatsfeeding and I want it to become normality. I don't want to feel like I have to hide the most wonderful thing in the world!!! I want to encourage other moms who hide in the closet to come out... but then I chicken out..... yikes..... and feel terribly torn. Please share your thoughts, I can't wait!
Oh, hehe, not finished yet, the main argument of my hubby why he doesn't want me to nurse in front of our parents is that he doesn't want Lasse to be stigmatized as a little baby prince, you know not the kinda boy our families wish to see, the little rascal who never cries and is just funny and independent... blubb blubb....
But at the same time he admits that nursing will be good for being on the airplane.... well....
I am convinced that respecting his dependence is a necessary factor for him to become independent.....
After having talked about everything he always ends up being supportive and then a few days later he seems to have all forgotten about how great it is to fulfill our son's needs and slips back into the conventional sorta mindset regarding this issue.... this really frustrates me, I want us to pull together to totally agree and be a solid unit, so I feel his support and we can handle the inconveniences that come along with breastfeeding.... but at the moment I feel like having an enemy in my own house, and this strains me and makes me feel insecure though not to the extend that I would wean Lasse. I do understand where he's coming from and that he doesn't have the mother instincts that drive us.... I know that deep down he is supportive, we've read so much (I made him :-D) and talked so much and we see our son..... It's like he totally supports it until something happens that is out of the line. He is feeling a bit jealous at the moment, the last weeks due to teething and whatever else has been going on developmentally our son has been nursing through the nights (which I am happy about! This has made teething bearable for him and has given us the possibility to get sleep!) But well, he's on me non-stop and my husband feels a bit neglected.... I just hope time will handle this issue, he won't be teething forever..... ah well, I could go on and on, but better get this posted. Thank you so much already!