Tanya - posted on 07/14/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )
I am 30 weeks pregnant with number 2 (Number 1 is almost 2.5 years old)
With our first we were big AP parents. We co-slept until he fell off the bed. He didn't want to sleep in his crib so I would sleep on the couch with him. How I did it we were both safe and he never moved from that position. I found this as the only solution because we would not let him CIO. I nursed him until 26 months old because my milk dried up due to pregnancy and he stopped. I think he used a bottle 3 or 4 times total. I wore him in the sling/wrap/carriers as long as he would let me. We also used cloth diapers and because of that not long after his 2nd birthday he decided he wanted to potty train and use the potty. We found out at 18 months of age that our son was allergic to milk (not just lactose) and we had to remove ALL milk and dairy from his diet. Family does not agree with this and has insisted that we are 'wrong' and that we just need to give him milk and he will be fine. When he does get dairy, even the slightest little bit, he was get the runs and very stinky gas, a very upset tummy and will not sleep because of the pain.
My husband and I did most of this with constant criticism of family and friends. I was told on many occations that I was babying my son and ruining him. When I got pregnant with number 2, I was even told I had to stop nursing my son because I was taking away from baby and would kill him/her before they even had a chance ( I think they were meaning miscarry) My doctor also told me that.
Since becoming pregnant with number 2, my mom has been pushing me to let my son sleep over at her house. I am simply not ready for that. She does not agree with how I parent, and I am not sure how she will handle my son. He will still wake in the middle of the night, and I rush to him to get him back to sleep. I don't think she will do this. She is telling me that I need to start letting him have sleep-overs at her house or my son is going to resent this baby and become nasty towards it.
When I tried to talk to family about using a midwife and doing a home birth, I was told by a few that I was 'not allowed too' and I was putting baby is 'harms way' and that I 'had to' deliver in a hospital. They all seem to think right now that I am using a Dr. to deliver in a hospital when in reality it to the complete opposite.
Because of all the 'flack' that I have recieved about mine and my husband parenting style, I almost feel like quitting. In my heart I feel like we are doing the right thing, and thinking about doing it any other way makes me want to cry. I just don't know what to do anymore