moving closer to my very judgemental family

Sally - posted on 07/28/2012

No it's not. You won't be any worse off where you are and with friends who actually care about you instead of wanting to own you, it'll probably be better to stay.

Lauren - posted on 07/22/2012

I would say do what is best for you and your children. If you feel like you have to move for the financial side than go for it! Just go in with a strong attitude of YOUR parenting methods! Don't let anyone reprehend you, you are their mother and know what is best for your children! I myself am a HUGE advocate on attachment parenting and have parents and family who do not agree with my method. I live very close to them and although i have a very supportive baby daddy/boyfriend it is still tough. I just stand my ground and do what i know is right for my girls! You may suffer some gossip and dirty looks that hurts from your own family but just remember they are your kids and you know what is best and in the long run you are doing what is right!

Beth - posted on 05/26/2012

I would say stay where you are, with a support group where you are. It is better to stay where you are, struggle initially but get to where you want to, than move from one controlling relationship to another controlling relationship, where you have little or no control over your situation. The positive part of moving to be nearer to your family could also be turned to a negative.

You have already answered your own question - which is no. You need to be in an environment where there are positive people around you, won't put you down just because you're parenting style is different.

Also staying where you are will be the more difficult situation for now, but in the long run it should be better for you as you are providing the best style of parenting for your children. They will see that their Mum (you) as a strong woman who can stand on her own two feet.

Is it easy being a single parent with three children under the age of 5 - no, but believe me it's worth it. I do live near my parents, but they don't tell me that my style of parenting is wrong. I just do things differently to how my parents brought me up - some things are the same other things are different.

Find out where you can get help with setting up a new home for you and your children. Work out what you need initially furniture wise and look at the options of what you can get second hand and what new. With the fullness of time, you can then get better accomodation and work towards getting new furniture. By achieving this you will feel brilliant.

When I separated (and then divorced) my ex husband, I continued to live in the home we rented. Long story short - I didn't have much money and it took me a while to get money sorted (as I went onto state benefits, as I had a new baby about the time we separated). I ended up having to move into my parents' house and now I live in another rented place. Since separating from my ex husband, I have managed to save up for new furniture and things. There is a strong sense of pride that I have managed to do it. Now I'm trying to get back into paid work.

Cyndel - posted on 05/25/2012

I agree with Louise, it is better to struggle with loving friends, then be better off financially and physically with controlling demeaning parents and no support group.
Stay on top of your ex about the money, and find yard sale furniture, hit the habitat for humanity, they might be able to donate any necessaries, like beds or a table/chairs, and look on Craig's List for freebies and cheepies.
It will be hard, but its better to be around people who love you and think alike then people who will undermine you every waking moment no matter how much they will financially help you.

Louise - posted on 05/17/2012

Personally I would rather struggle and stay with my friends. You can get furniture as and when you need it, friends will rally round and help I am sure. There is no point getting your freedom and then losing it again. No stand up for yourself and hit the husband for maintenance and seek legal advice on what help you can get either on welfare until you find your feet or through charitable donations. There is nothing wrong with this it is what they are there for. You will be much happier if you go it alone in the long run. Whatever you do will be wrong at your parents house and that is going to depress you.

Your a strong woman. You can do this! xx