Need advice- Very clingy 11 week old

Aicha - posted on 03/29/2010

Just give her time everything is still new for her and Mom is the only familiar thing she knows also have your husband sit next to you and talk and touch the baby while you are holding her so she can get use to her dad that's what I had to do to help my daughter get use to being around her daddy now she asks for him she says dada ( she is 6 months now)

Shyama - posted on 03/29/2010

11 weeks is very, very little, but it's hard remembering that sometimes :)
and it still is even when they're two, like mine is. he couldn't bear anyone else holding him but his dad till he was about, oh, maybe 15 months old or so (we were in a high-stress zone as a household, though mercifully not as a family).
everything passes, i can't tell myself that enough.
and showers, well after a bit take her in with you. she'll love it, so might you.

Amber - posted on 03/26/2010

My 12 week old was the same at about 8 weeks he would cry everytime my fiance would hold him...and i really needed a shower and some me time....even if it was for ten minutes! My fiance was always ready to pass him off right away because as a new dad he wasn't sure what to do so I started to encourage him to just hold his son and comfort him. Bounce him, walk around and have him go shirtless while doing it, we tried family snuggles so baby would see me and know I was there, have daddy nap with baby I would nurse Rieley to sleep and then pass him to my fiance to hold on his chest. He is now really good with my fiance he might fuss a little bit at first but then he calms right down and has smiles for everyone.

Geralyn - posted on 03/24/2010

I understand its difficult for dads early on. They can't help but feel a bit rejected. Maybe the three of you could sit together and cuddle so that they are at least close and he can at least have his hand on her or his arm supporting her, too. Then, you could try the same position, but your hubby holding her.... Just so he feels a part of it. I have to warn you though, even with my 23 month old,, sometimes daddy holding, even if mommy is right there is not good enough - sometimes they just need their mommies. I love it!!!!

Jenny - posted on 03/24/2010

Thanks everyone, I'm not so stressed about it anymore. I wish the rest of my family could enjoy her as much as I do, but hopefully that will come in time.

Katherine - posted on 03/22/2010

Well, she is only 11 weeks. When she gets a little older it will be easier. Right now she's "freshly born." Have your husband hold her with his shirt off, the skin on skin contact will help them bond, the smells too. Kylie is right too. When they sense unease, they get more upset. An infant is a strange human being, and fascinating too.

Just keep in mind and remind him that you carried her for 9 months and that is the environment she is used too. Good luck!!

Brenda - posted on 03/22/2010

I wouldn't use the word clingy, because there is no such thing in a baby that small. Clingy indicates a bad or wrong thing, and that's just not true. At 11 weeks, she doesn't understand the world around her, and it is changing on a daily basis. You are her only constant, and when away from you, her world is literally upside down.

Strap the baby on and do your thing. This will pass pretty quickly once she gets a little older. I agree with the mei tai or an Ergo or something. :)

Minnie - posted on 03/22/2010

I would do as the mothers in traditional cultures do. Strap baby to my back and go about my business. They make slings for the shower- or you can get a couple of yards of quick-drying fabric and sew one up yourself (google pouch sling patterns). For mucking stalls, same thing, strap baby to your back and go to town. A mei tai would be excellent for that.



Mothers in traditional cultures take care of animals, sell their goods and build their houses with their little ones strapped to their backs.

Kylie - posted on 03/22/2010

Give your hubby time to learn to calm her and maybe shut the door when you shower. My boy cries and fights for me when I'm in the room but if I'm not in his sight he calms down and is happy to be held by dad or nanny. But when he was that age he would go to dad as long as he could see me so you may need to try both ways to see what works best. Young babies love skin to skin contact and the low vibration of their dads voice..maybe if he takes his shirt of and bonces her to some music or takes her outside for a little walk in his arms. You do need a few minutes off to shower and center yourself so don't feel bad is she cries for a while..her daddy needs a chance to learn a way to calm her himself. My hubby would put our first child in her bouncer and sit next to her and talk and bonce her slowly, she liked that better than being in his arms at that age, i think she sensed he was not confident to hold her and that made her uneasy. Good luck!