No cry sleep solution

Karen - posted on 03/30/2011

My daughter is 29 months old and has just started sleeping a little bit better. She's recently (as in, 5 nights ago) started waking 2-3 times instead of about 5 times. At seven months she was usually waking 6-8 times a night.
I agree that it is soooooo hard. I had many many nights/days around that age when I thought I'd lose my mind if my daughter didn't start sleeping. Well, she didn't sleep and I didn't lose my mind. What helped me was realizing that it's more common than it seems and it might not really indicate a problem that needs fixing. More like it's a situation you have to survive.
That being said I agree that a trip to a naturopath is a really good idea. They have lots of ideas and options that your average doctor does not.
Hang in there! Take breaks whenever you have the opportunity. Breathe.

Kunang - posted on 03/30/2011

It nice to know that there are some Aussie mums on here. Some babies just aren't sleepers thats for sure, I'm kind of agreeing with Aleksandra on this one, she might have something preventing her from sleeping. I wish someone would invent a baby translator, wouldn't it be so much easier?!
I think in the end it's only for a short period of their lives and ours, why not create a child with a healthy outlook on sleep with the confidence in knowing that mama is always going to be there if they're scared.

Tameka, I know CIO is popular here in Australia, but do you really think Australian mum are expected to bottle feed? Most of the mums I know are currently BFing but they supplement with dreaded formula without a care in the world. Although it's rare to see a public nurser even though it's legal.

Mary Renee - posted on 03/30/2011

I read the book and while parts of it were great it didn't really help me that much. Part of the problem is that I nurse my daughter to sleep and no amount of rocking, sushings, singing, whatever, has ever gotten her to sleep. She really really fights sleep. She's only taken one nap a day since she was two weeks old and even that one nap is a huge struggle.

That said, my daughter was like yours at 7-9 months. Yeah, it was so hard. I was desperate for a night's sleep and my back was killing me from nursing her so much.

Now she's almost 11 months and for the past two months it has really gotten better. Sadly, I can't say that it's anything I actually did, at least not that I know of! Hahaha. I think she was really teething hardcore maybe (she has 6 teeth, two bottom, four uppers) and during this period of the 6-time-night-wakings (I charted it like it said to do in the book, and she was waking every 1.5 - 2 hours!) those top four were coming it.

Another thing I did was change her PJs. I think the long sleeves and long pants were too much for her so she just sleeps in a onesie now and she's much more comfortable. She still wakes up 2-3 times a night but it's a HELLUVA lot better than 5-6, I don't have to tell you that!

But yeah, I don't believe in Crying-It-Out. And I can't actually, because we live in a one-bedroom apartment, don't have a crib, co-sleep, and she can get off of our bed already, haha.

Aleks - posted on 03/29/2011

Tameka,
I am in Aust too and I do know what you mean. However I was not referring to doctors looking at her sleep solely. I was more referring to a condition that can impact on sleep. For example, my daughter suffered unbearable (for her, of course) silent reflux and gastrointestinal problems which severely impacted her sleep! All she wanted was to nurse! (At which point most health professionals were telling me to wean - of course lol- so as to get her to sleep!!!)
Have you considered visiting an alternative therapist such as a naturopath or an osteopath? They are very much qualified and yet have a way of looking at a human body that "general" medicine does not, a more wholistic way. So what they may actually diagnose is that a child who sufferes knee joint pain, cramps in legs and limps does not have problems with knee joints but infact spine problems (probably because of some other issues with the virtibrae). Does that make sense? Your daughters sleep problems could be say, hypothetically speaking, because she has neck cramps or ear troubles... and unless they get treated she will not sleep well. See what I mean? It could even be her diet, she may not have "allergies" or "intollerances" but may have what is known as "sensitivities" and these are very difficult to diagnose (most doctors tend to laught these things off though, but naturopaths and their patients swear by it) but once found huge improvements in health and general well being occurs.

Hope that makes more sense... the above are just examples to show you what I was referring to... who knows the true reason for your daughters sleep troubles.

And by the way you did not hijacked this thread - I DID! lol.
Sorry about that Kunang :-)

Tameka - posted on 03/29/2011

Aleksandra, I have seen all the sleep experts in my area and they all tell me the same thing: shut the door and let her cry. When I first was given this answer I was shocked and sought a second opinion. But all the doctors are the same here. I wish I lived in America so I could make an appointment with Dr. Seers. Oh well.

In Australia CIO is the method to get babies to conform, cosleeping is shunned and formula feeding is expected of you.

I've been seeing 'sleep gurus' since my daughter was a few months old. Some of them are really nice and very sympathetic but at the end of the day they think crying is the only answer. I had one lady come to my house when my daughter was 4 months old. She told me to take a break and watch some tv and she would get my daughter off to sleep for me. After 5 minutes of hearing my daughter's constant screaming I went to investigate. The woman was leaning against the wall staring out the window waiting for my daughter to scream herself to sleep!! I picked my daughter up and asked her to leave.

Daily, I search the internet for a way to get my daughter to sleep. There is only two main options: let her cry (there is millions of ways to CIO!) or continue to struggle with my current methods. Sorry, there is another method: drug her to sleep. Use a sedative along with a CIO method. Hmm...

Sorry, I've just successfully hijacked this thread!

Kunang - posted on 03/28/2011

Its slowly working I think. We've taken a few of the methods that I think would work for us. We're currently in between phase two and three. She actually doesn't want to fall asleep on the boob... she cries to be put down... its bizarre!! I'm sorry it didn't work for you Tameka, I have a friend whose 15 month doesn't sleep well either. Shes actually still wrapping her to get her to sleep :(
Good on you for trying for such a long time, I'm so glad you don't leave her to cry like some parents would.

Aleks - posted on 03/28/2011

Tameka,

I dont mean to pry nor assume anything, but have you considered that there may be an actual medical problem as to why your daughter does not sleep well. I don't know exactly what you have gone thru, except that I have seen you post now and again about your daughter's sleep troubles.

Just a thought though. Sometimes persistantly bad sleeping is actually a symptom of a larger issue and by actively persuing investigations and research one sometimes stumbles upon an answer. I do hope you find your answer soon and have a sleeping toddler soon too. :-)



As for the Elizabeth Pantley book.

My girl 25mths still wakes up at least 2 times a night. I nurse her back and she does go back to sleep. Though I am now reading the No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers to see if there is something I may be able to tweek and get her to stop needing to nurse this often (still) at night. But all in due course. I haven't started any of the suggested methods yet. In fact I still haven't finished the book, not even a 1/4 of the way thru. But I am hopeful that it does mention something that may be worth trying :-)

Tameka - posted on 03/25/2011

My daughter is 15 months and I gave up trying to get this book to work a few weeks ago. I started trying it when she was 7 months old. I was averaging one hour of sleep a night (approx. 3hrs for my daughter) and leaving her to cry wasn't an option for me.

The gentle removal option worked about 20% of the time and stopped working altogether in February. I had a hard time getting phase one to work properly and could never progress to phase two without a massive screaming fit.

I tried it all: cot sleeping, co-sleeping, her sleeping on me, me in the room, just daddy and none of it worked for me.

I still have major sleep issues with her. She only wakes 1-2 times a night now but she will be awake for aroun 90 mins at a time. Her sleep is much better than before but a far cry from what it can/should be for her age.

Some babies just don't sleep. You can leave them to cry alone or you can try your damn hardest to do everything in your power to soothe them. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. You can coax a baby to sleep but can't send them to the land of nod.

LauraBeth - posted on 03/25/2011

I have never let my children CIO I think it is a horrible thing to put a child thru!!!! My children know that I will always be there to comfort them, I mean they are only little for so long I want them to look back and know that they were loved and comforted every sceond of the day, you can't spoil a child by giving them a hug or rocking them in my opinion. I think parents that do the CIO method are very lazy women who value their needs more then their childrens.



My Little girl is also a tummy sleeper she rolled to her tummy since she was 2weeks both my children sleep in our room (our son is 23 mo and our little girl is 6no) both me and my hubby wouldnt have it any other way. My son was a horrible night sleeper, just give her a couple more months and she will get her schld on board